← 3.4
Act 4, Scene 1 — The Street before Olivia’s House.
on stage:
Next: 4.2 →
Original
Faithful Conversational Text-message
The argument Sebastian, walking the street, is approached by the Clown, who mistakes him for Cesario (Viola). Sebastian is confused and rude. Sir Andrew then appears and, thinking Sebastian is Cesario, picks a fight. Sir Toby joins in. Sebastian, who is actually skilled with a sword, beats Sir Andrew. When Olivia appears, she's delighted to see 'Cesario' acting so impressively. Sebastian is bewildered but goes with her — he has no idea who anyone is, but he's intrigued by Olivia's attraction to him.
Enter Sebastian and Clown.
CLOWN Sebastian confused

Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?

I do not know you. Who are you?

I don't know you. Who are you?

who are you

SEBASTIAN ≋ verse Olivia not yet realizing it's Sebastian, not Cesario

Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow.

Let me be clear of thee.

You have mistaken me for another. But I confess, since I saw you last, a very great change has come over me. Will you help me understand what's happening?

Wait, you've got the wrong guy. But honestly, something's changed in me since I last saw you. Can you help me figure out what?

ive changed help me understand

CLOWN Sebastian accepting Olivia

Well held out, i’ faith! No, I do not know you, nor I am not sent to

you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not

Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so, is

so.

I will not be denied. I'll go with you and serve you. Give me your hand.

I'm not leaving you. I'm staying right here. Give me your hand.

im not leaving give me your hand

SEBASTIAN ≋ verse

I prithee vent thy folly somewhere else,

Thou know’st not me.

I prithee vent your folly somewhere else, Thou know’st not me.

i prithee vent your folly somewhere else, you know’st not me.

I prithee vent thy folly somewhere else, Thou know’st not me.

CLOWN

Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now

applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the

world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and

tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that thou art

coming?

Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird your strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that you art coming?

vent my folly! he has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. vent my folly! i am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. i prithee now, ungird your strangeness, and tell me what i shall vent to my lady. shall i vent to her that you art coming?

Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and

SEBASTIAN ≋ verse

I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me.

There’s money for thee; if you tarry longer

I shall give worse payment.

I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me. There’s money for thee; if you tarry longer I shall give worse payment.

i prithee, foolish greek, depart from me. there’s money for thee; if you tarry longer i shall give worse payment.

I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me. There’s money for thee; if you tarry longer I shall give worse payment.

"foolish Greek" Greek as an insult — suggesting foolishness or foreignness. Sebastian is genuinely angry now.
CLOWN

By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools

money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.

By my troth, you hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.

by my troth, you hast an open hand. these wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.

By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.

Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby and Fabian.
SIR ANDREW

Now sir, have I met you again? There’s for you.

Now sir, have I met you again? There’s for you.

now sir, have i met you again? there’s for you.

Now sir, have I met you again? There’s for you.

[_Striking Sebastian._]
SEBASTIAN ≋ verse

Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there.

Are all the people mad?

Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad?

why, there’s for thee, and there, and there. are all the people mad?

Why, there’s for thee, and there, and there. Are all the people mad?

[_Beating Sir Andrew._]
SIR TOBY

Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.

Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.

hold, sir, or i’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.

Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger o’er the house.

CLOWN

This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats

for twopence.

This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for twopence.

this will i tell my lady straight. i would not be in some of your coats for twopence.

This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for twopence.

[_Exit Clown._]
SIR TOBY

Come on, sir, hold!

Come on, sir, hold!

come on, sir, hold!

Come on, sir, hold!

SIR ANDREW

Nay, let him alone, I’ll go another way to work with him. I’ll have an

action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I

struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.

Nay, let him alone, I’ll go another way to work with him. I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.

nay, let him alone, i’ll go another way to work with him. i’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in illyria. yough i struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.

Nay, let him alone, I’ll go another way to work with him. I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.

SEBASTIAN

Let go thy hand!

Let go your hand!

let go your hand!

Let go thy hand!

SIR TOBY

Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your

iron: you are well fleshed. Come on.

Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed. Come on.

come, sir, i will not let you go. come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed. come on.

Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed. Come on.

SEBASTIAN ≋ verse

I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now?

If thou dar’st tempt me further, draw thy sword.

I will be free from thee. What wouldst you now? If you dar’st tempt me further, draw your sword.

i will be free from thee. what wouldst you now? if you dar’st tempt me further, draw your sword.

I will be free from thee. What wouldst thou now? If thou dar’st tempt me further, draw thy sword.

[_Draws._]
SIR TOBY

What, what? Nay, then, I must have an ounce or two of this malapert

blood from you.

What, what? Nay, then, I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.

what, what? nay, then, i must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.

What, what? Nay, then, I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.

[_Draws._]
Enter Olivia.
OLIVIA

Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee hold!

Hold, Toby! On your life I charge thee hold!

hold, toby! on your life i charge thee hold!

Hold, Toby! On thy life I charge thee hold!

SIR TOBY

Madam.

Madam.

madam.

Madam.

OLIVIA ≋ verse

Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,

Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,

Where manners ne’er were preach’d! Out of my sight!

Be not offended, dear Cesario.

Rudesby, be gone!

Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne’er were preach’d! Out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario. Rudesby, be gone!

will it be ever thus? ungracious wretch, fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, where manners ne’er were preach’d! out of my sight! be not offended, dear cesario. rudesby, be gone!

Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne’er were preach’d! Out of my sight!

[_Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew and Fabian._]
I prithee, gentle friend,
Let thy fair wisdom, not thy passion, sway
In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against thy peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear thou there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian hath botch’d up, that thou thereby
Mayst smile at this. Thou shalt not choose but go.
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine, in thee.
SEBASTIAN ≋ verse

What relish is in this? How runs the stream?

Or I am mad, or else this is a dream.

Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

What relish is in this? How runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream. Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep; If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

what relish is in this? how runs the stream? or i am mad, or else this is a dream. let fancy still my sense in lethe steep; if it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!

What relish is in this? How runs the stream? Or I am mad, or else this is a dream. Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;

OLIVIA

Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou’dst be ruled by me!

Nay, come, I prithee. Would you’dst be ruled by me!

nay, come, i prithee. would you’dst be ruled by me!

Nay, come, I prithee. Would thou’dst be ruled by me!

SEBASTIAN

Madam, I will.

Madam, I will.

madam, i will.

Madam, I will.

OLIVIA

O, say so, and so be!

O, say so, and so be!

o, say so, and so be!

O, say so, and so be!

[_Exeunt._]

The Reckoning

This is the moment when the mistaken identities become active rather than passive. Until now, Viola has been controlling her disguise. Now her twin shows up and people begin treating him as Cesario without his knowledge or consent. Sebastian doesn't know he has a twin in the city. He doesn't know what he's being mistaken for. He just knows that a woman is attracted to him and people keep accosting him for reasons he doesn't understand. By agreeing to go with Olivia, he sets the final domino in motion.

If this happened today…

You're visiting a city and keep running into the same person. First, a clown accosts you for reasons you don't understand. Then a weak guy tries to fight you (for reasons you still don't understand). Then a beautiful woman appears, acts like she knows you, is impressed by your fighting, and asks you to spend time with her. You have no idea what's happening, but she's attractive and everyone seems to know you here, so you go along with it.

Continue to 4.2 →