Save thee, friend, and thy music. Dost thou live by thy tabor?
Hello friend, and to your music. Do you make your living from your drum?
Hey, nice music. Do you make money playing that drum?
hi friend do u live by ur drum?
No, sir, I live by the church.
No, sir. I live beside the church.
No, my house is right next to the church.
i live by the church
Art thou a churchman?
Are you a clergyman?
You work for the church?
u a clergyman?
No such matter, sir. I do live by the church, for I do live at my
house, and my house doth stand by the church.
Nothing of the sort, sir. I don't make my living from the church—I just mean my house stands next to the church.
Not at all, sir. My house just happens to be located right next to the church, that's all.
nah my house is just next to the church
So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar dwell near
him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the
church.
So you could say the king sleeps by a beggar if a beggar lives near him, or the church stands by your drum if your drum stands by the church.
So basically, you could say the king sleeps next to a beggar if a beggar lives nearby, or the church is next to your drum if your drum is next to the church.
so king sleeps by beggars? or church is by ur drum if ur drum is by church?
You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a chev’ril glove
to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side may be turned outward!
You have said it, sir. What a time we live in! A clever argument is like a kid-leather glove in the hands of a witty person; how quickly it can be turned inside out!
Yeah, you said it! Welcome to modern times! A good argument is like a kid glove to someone quick-witted; they can flip it inside out in seconds.
u said it why can witty ppl flip arguments so fast
Nay, that’s certain; they that dally nicely with words may quickly make
them wanton.
No, that's true; people who play delicately with words can quickly make those words become loose and unreliable.
That's right; when people mess around with words too cleverly, they can pretty quickly make them unreliable.
yeah people who play w words make em unreliable fast
I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.
I wish my sister had had no name, sir.
I wish my sister didn't have a name, to be honest.
ugh wish sis had no name honestly
Why, man?
Why, man?
why, man?
Why, man?
Why, sir, her name’s a word; and to dally with that word might make my
sister wanton. But indeed, words are very rascals, since bonds
disgraced them.
Because, sir, her name is a word, and if people play with that word, it might make my sister seem loose and unreliable. But honestly, words are terrible villains since written contracts have made them shameful.
Because, sir, her name is a word, and if people mess with it, it could make my sister seem loose. But honestly, words are just jerks; contracts have ruined them.
her name is a word playing w it makes her look bad words r villains bc of contracts
Thy reason, man?
Your reason, sir?
What do you mean?
what?
Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words are grown so
false, I am loath to prove reason with them.
Honestly, sir, I cannot give you a reason without words, and words have become so false and unreliable that I'm reluctant to try reasoning with them.
Honestly, sir, I can't explain it without using words, but words have become so dishonest that I don't want to reason with them.
cant explain w/o words but words r too fake to reason w
I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car’st for nothing.
I bet you're a cheerful fellow who doesn't care about anything.
I bet you're a fun guy who doesn't take anything seriously.
ur a fun dude who doesnt care lol
Not so, sir, I do care for something. But in my conscience, sir, I do
not care for you. If that be to care for nothing, sir, I would it would
make you invisible.
Not really, sir, I do care about something. But in all honesty, sir, I don't care for you. If caring for nothing means that, I wish it would make you disappear.
Actually, sir, I do care about some things. But honestly, sir, I don't care about you. If that's what caring for nothing does, I wish it would make you invisible.
i care about stuff but not you i wish u'd disappear
Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool?
Are you not Lady Olivia's fool?
You're Lady Olivia's fool, aren't you?
ur olivia's fool right?
No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep no fool,
sir, till she be married, and fools are as like husbands as pilchards
are to herrings, the husband’s the bigger. I am indeed not her fool,
but her corrupter of words.
No, truly, sir. Lady Olivia has no foolishness. She will keep no fool, sir, until she is married, and fools are as much like husbands as pilchards are like herrings, the husband being the bigger. I am not actually her fool, but rather her corrupter of words.
Not at all, sir. Lady Olivia has no foolishness. She won't keep a fool until she's married, and fools are just like husbands as little fish are like big fish; the husband being bigger. I'm not her fool; I'm her word-twister.
nope olivia has no foolishness fools r like husbands (bigger) im her word corrupter not fool
I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.
I saw you recently at Count Orsino's place.
I saw you at Count Orsino's house not long ago.
saw u at orsino's lately
Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun; it shines
everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with
your master as with my mistress. I think I saw your wisdom there.
Foolishness, sir, walks around the world like the sun; it shines everywhere. I would be sorry, sir, if the fool were not as often with your master as with my mistress. I think I saw your wisdom there.
Foolishness, sir, walks around the world like the sun; it's everywhere. I'd only be worried if the fool weren't with your master as often as with my mistress. I think I saw you showing wisdom there.
foolishness is everywhere like sun fool is w ur master as much as my lady saw ur wisdom there
Nay, and thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with thee. Hold, there’s
expenses for thee.
No, and if you make jokes at my expense, I'm done with you. Here, take this money for yourself.
No, if you keep joking at my expense, I'm leaving. Here, take this money.
dont joke abt me anymore here's cash for u
Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
Now may Jove, in his next shipment of hair, give you a beard!
May Jove send you a beard the next time he ships out hair!
jove send u a beard!
By my troth, I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for one, though I would
not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within?
Honestly, I'll tell you, I almost wish I had one, though I wouldn't want it to grow on my chin. Is your lady at home?
Honestly, I almost want one, though I don't want it on my chin. Is your lady home?
i kinda want one but not on my chin lol is ur lady home?
Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?
Wouldn't a pair of these have multiplied, sir?
Wouldn't a pair of those have made more, sir?
would a pair breed?
Yes, being kept together, and put to use.
Yes, if they were kept together and put to work.
Yes, if you kept them together and put them to work.
yeah if kept together and used
Olivia enters this scene still in control of her narrative. She's in mourning, she's keeping her distance, she's resolved. But the moment she sees Cesario, something breaks. What Shakespeare shows us is not a slow seduction — it's a sudden, undeniable recognition of attraction. She doesn't fall gradually. She falls all at once, fully aware that she's falling, unable to stop it. 'How now?' is the exact moment: Cesario has just essentially said 'I'm not interested in you,' and Olivia hears it and thinks 'too bad — I'm in love anyway.' The speed shocks her.
I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this
Troilus.
I would play the role of Pandarus from Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
I'd play Pandarus and bring Cressida to this Troilus, sir.
id be pandarus bring cressida to ur troilus
I understand you, sir; ’tis well begged.
I understand you, sir; that's a well-made request.
I get what you're saying, sir; that's a good pitch.
i get it good pitch
The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but a beggar: Cressida
was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will conster to them whence you
come; who you are and what you would are out of my welkin. I might say
“element”, but the word is overworn.
I hope the matter is not important, sir, considering that asking is merely a beggar asking: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is inside, sir. I will explain to them where you come from; who you are and what you want are outside my understanding. I might say 'element,' but the word is overused.
I hope it's not a big deal, sir, since begging is just a beggar asking for something; Cressida was a beggar too. My lady is inside, sir. I'll tell them where you're from; who you are and what you want are beyond me. I could say 'element,' but that word is worn out.
not a big deal right begging = beggar thing my lady is home ill explain u who u r is lost on me
This fellow is wise enough to play the fool,
And to do that well, craves a kind of wit:
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
The quality of persons, and the time,
And like the haggard, check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice
As full of labour as a wise man’s art:
For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit;
But wise men, folly-fall’n, quite taint their wit.
This fellow is smart enough to play the fool, And doing it well requires a kind of wit: He must watch the moods of those he jokes with, The nature of people and the circumstances, And like a wild hawk, respond to every feather That passes before his eye. This is work As full of effort as any wise man's art: When he shows foolishness with wisdom, it works; But when wise people fall into foolishness, they completely lose their edge.
This guy is sharp enough to play the fool, And doing it well takes real cleverness: He has to watch the moods of whoever he's joking with, Read the room and understand people, And like a wild hawk, notice every little thing That comes into view. This is work That takes as much effort as a wise man's art: When he shows foolishness with wisdom, it works; But when wise people fall into foolishness, they completely lose their edge.
this guy's smart enough to play dumb takes wit to do it right gotta read moods and timing like a hawk noticing everything it's as hard as being wise when u show dumb w wisdom it works but wise ppl who fall into dumb mess themselves up
Save you, gentleman.
God bless you, sir.
Hello there, sir.
hey sir
And you, sir.
And you, sir.
and you, sir.
And you, sir.
_Dieu vous garde, monsieur._
May God keep you safe, sir.
Take care of yourself, sir.
stay safe
_Et vous aussi; votre serviteur._
And you too; I'm your servant.
You too; I'm at your service.
u too im ur servant
I hope, sir, you are, and I am yours.
I hope you're in good health, sir, and I remain at your complete service.
I hope you are, and I'm yours.
hope u are im yours
Will you encounter the house? My niece is desirous you should enter, if
your trade be to her.
Will you approach the house? My niece desires you should enter, if your business is with her.
Will you come into the house? My niece wants you to come in, if that's what you're here for.
come inside? my niece wants u in if u're here 4 her
I am bound to your niece, sir, I mean, she is the list of my voyage.
I am committed to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the destination of my journey.
I'm here for your niece, sir; she's the whole reason I'm here.
im here 4 ur niece she's my whole reason
Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion.
Test your legs, sir; put them to walking.
Get moving, sir; test those legs of yours.
move ur legs lets go
My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean
by bidding me taste my legs.
My legs understand what I want better than I understand what you mean by asking me to taste my legs.
My legs know what to do better than I know what you mean by asking me to taste them.
my legs get it better than i get what u mean
I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
I mean, to go, sir; to go inside.
I mean, to go in, to enter.
go inside
I will answer you with gait and entrance: but we are prevented.
I will answer you by walking and entering; but we are stopped.
I'll answer you by going right in, but we're being held back.
id go in but we're stopped
Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
Most excellent and accomplished lady, may the heavens shower sweet fragrances upon you!
My lady, you're the most excellent and accomplished person I know—I hope the heavens rain down beautiful perfumes on you!
most excellent lady may the heavens shower fragrance on you
That youth’s a rare courtier. ‘Rain odours,’ well.
That young man is a rare courtier. 'Rain scents' works well.
That young fellow is an unusual courtier. 'Rain scents' is good.
that kid's a rare courtier 'rain scents' nice
My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and
vouchsafed ear.
My business has no speech, lady, except to your own most wise and gracious ear.
My business can't be told to everyone, lady, only to your wise and gracious ear.
my message only 4 ur ears ur wise
‘Odours,’ ‘pregnant,’ and ‘vouchsafed.’—I’ll get ’em all three ready.
'Scents,' 'wise,' and 'gracious'; I'll memorize all three.
'Scents,' 'wise,' and 'gracious'; I'll learn all three.
'scents' 'wise' 'gracious' im memorizing these
Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to listen.
Close the garden door and leave me to listen.
close the door let me listen
Feste's extended complaint about words becoming unreliable ('words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them') is unusual for a comedic scene. But it's crucial to Twelfth Night's deeper structure: if words can't be trusted to mean what they say, then Viola's male disguise becomes more than a costume — it becomes a fundamental problem of meaning itself. She is a woman who has made language her ally, using words perfectly to maintain her disguise. The Clown is saying that in this world, that's become dangerous. Language lies.
Give me your hand, sir.
May I hold your hand?
Come, let me take your hand in mine.
your hand
My duty, madam, and most humble service.
My duty to you, madam, and my most humble service.
I'm here to serve you, madam, humbly.
im ur servant madam
What is your name?
May I have the honor of knowing your name?
What's your name?
ur name?
Cesario is your servant’s name, fair princess.
Cesario is the name of your servant, beautiful lady.
I'm Cesario, your servant.
im cesario ur servant
My servant, sir! ’Twas never merry world,
Since lowly feigning was call’d compliment:
Y’are servant to the Count Orsino, youth.
My servant, sir! It was never a happy world Since humble pretending was called courtesy: You're servant to Count Orsino, young man.
My servant, sir! The world never was the same Since fake politeness became the norm: You serve Count Orsino, young man.
ur MY servant? world's been fake since politeness became a thing u serve orsino
And he is yours, and his must needs be yours.
Your servant’s servant is your servant, madam.
And he is yours, and his needs must be yours. The servant of your servant is also your servant, madam.
And he's yours, and what's his is yours. Your servant's servant is your servant too, madam.
hes urs n his stuff is urs if im ur servant then im urs double servant = ur servant
For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
Would they were blanks rather than fill’d with me!
I don't think about him; as for his thoughts, I wish they were empty rather than filled with me!
I'm not thinking about him; as for his thoughts, I wish they were blank rather than full of me!
not thinking of him wish his thoughts of me were blank
Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalf.
Madam, I come to sharpen your kind thoughts On his behalf.
Madam, I'm here to sharpen your good feelings Toward him.
im here to remind u of his good side
O, by your leave, I pray you.
I bade you never speak again of him.
But would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres.
Please, with your permission. I asked you never to speak of him again. But if you would take up another cause, I would rather hear you advocate for that Than hear heavenly music.
Please, I'm asking. I told you never to mention him again. But if you were to pursue something else, I'd rather hear you make that pitch Than listen to heavenly music.
dont talk abt him anymore but if u want smth else id rather hear u pitch that than heaven itself
Dear lady—
Dear lady—
dear lady—
Dear lady—
Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
After the last enchantment you did here,
A ring in chase of you. So did I abuse
Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you.
Under your hard construction must I sit;
To force that on you in a shameful cunning,
Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
And baited it with all th’ unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
Enough is shown. A cypress, not a bosom,
Hides my heart: so let me hear you speak.
Please allow me to speak, I beg you. After your last visit that captivated me, I sent a ring to follow you. So I hurt Myself, my servant, and I'm afraid, you as well. I have to accept your harsh judgment; I forced on you through shameful trickery Something that was never yours to have. What are you thinking? Did you not gamble with my honor, And bait it with every wild thought That a cruel heart can produce? For someone as perceptive as you, Enough has been shown. A funeral shroud, not a living heart, Hides what I feel: so listen to what I have to say.
Just let me explain, okay? After you left me completely mesmerized, I sent a ring running after you like some lovesick fool. And in doing that, I messed myself up, I messed my servant up, and maybe even messed you up. Now I have to sit here while you judge me. I basically tricked you into taking something that was never meant for you. Where does that leave us? You've got my whole heart and honor on the line, With every crazy thought this desperate heart can throw at it. You're smart enough to see right through me anyway. My insides are dead; I'm just hiding what I really feel. So come on, say something.
let me talk i sent that ring after u i messed up hurt myself my servant maybe u u judged me hard u risked my honor for someone like u thats enough u see through me
I pity you.
I pity you.
i pity you.
I pity you.
That’s a degree to love.
That's a step toward love.
That's a step toward loving me.
thats step 1 of love
No, not a grize; for ’tis a vulgar proof
That very oft we pity enemies.
No, not even a step; because it's common proof That we very often pity enemies.
No, not even that; it's common knowledge That we often pity our enemies.
nah we pity enemies all the time
Why then methinks ’tis time to smile again.
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the lion than the wolf! [_Clock strikes._]
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you.
And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
There lies your way, due west.
Well then I think it's time to smile again. Oh world, how quick the poor are to be proud! If someone must be hunted, how much better To fall to a lion than a wolf! The clock accuses me of wasting time. Do not be afraid, good youth, I will not take you. And yet, when cleverness and youth mature, Your wife will likely gain a fine man. That direction is west.
Well then, I think it's time to smile again. Oh world, how quick the poor are to become proud! If someone has to be someone's prey, it's better To fall to a lion than a wolf! The clock is telling me I'm wasting time. Don't worry, young man, I won't have you. And yet, when you mature and become clever, Your wife will probably get a good man. That way is west.
ok time to smile if ur prey better a lion than wolf clock says im wasting time i wont have u but ur wife will get a good man someday go west
Then westward ho!
Grace and good disposition attend your ladyship!
You’ll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
Then off to the west! May grace and good nature stay with you, my lady! Do you have nothing to say to my lord that I should tell him?
Off to the west then! May you stay kind and well-disposed, my lady! Is there nothing you want me to tell my lord?
going west stay kind nothing 4 orsino?
Stay:
I prithee tell me what thou think’st of me.
Wait: Please tell me what you think of me.
Wait: Tell me what you really think of me.
wait what do u think of me
That you do think you are not what you are.
That you are deluded about what you are.
That you don't see yourself for who you really are.
u dont know who u r
If I think so, I think the same of you.
If I'm deluded, then you're deluded too.
If that's true about me, it's true about you.
if im deluded so r u
Then think you right; I am not what I am.
Then you're right; I am not what I appear to be.
Then you're right; I'm not what I seem.
ur right im not who i seem
I would you were as I would have you be.
I wish you were as I would want you to be.
I wish you were what I want you to be.
i wish u were who i want
Would it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.
Would that be better than what I am, madam? I wish it could be, because now I'm your fool.
Would that be better than who I am, madam? I wish I could be, because right now I'm your fool.
would that be better? i wish but im ur fool now
O what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
A murd’rous guilt shows not itself more soon
Than love that would seem hid. Love’s night is noon.
Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
By maidhood, honour, truth, and everything,
I love thee so, that maugre all thy pride,
Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
But rather reason thus with reason fetter:
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Oh, how much scorn can look beautiful In the contempt and anger of his lip! Murder's guilt does not show itself sooner Than love that tries to hide itself. Love's darkness is daytime. Cesario, by the roses of spring, By virginity, honor, truth, and everything, I love you so much that despite all your pride, Neither wit nor reason can hide my passion. Do not twist my meaning from this statement, That because I court you, you therefore have no obligation; But rather reason about it like this: Love that is sought for is good, but love given freely is better.
Oh, how beautiful scorn can look In the anger and contempt on his face! Murder's guilt isn't revealed as quickly As love that's trying to stay hidden. Love's dark is daylight. Cesario, by the spring flowers, By my virginity, my honor, my truth, by everything, I love you so much that nothing you can do with pride Can hide how I feel with cleverness or logic. Don't use my words against me; Just because I'm courting you doesn't obligate you; But think about it this way: Demanded love is good, but freely given love is better.
scorn looks beautiful when its contempt love hides itself but shows up by everything i swear i love u so much pride wit reason cant hide it u don't owe me anything but freely given love > wanted love
By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
And so adieu, good madam; never more
Will I my master’s tears to you deplore.
By my innocence I swear, and by my youth, I have one heart, one soul, and one truth, And no woman possesses it; nor will anyone ever Have control of it, except I alone. And so goodbye, good madam; I will never again Bring my master's sadness to you.
I swear by my innocence and by my youth, I have one heart, one soul, and one truth, And no woman owns it; and no one ever Will be mistress of it, only I. And so goodbye, madam; I will never Bring my master's sadness to you again.
i swear i have one heart no woman has it im the only one goodbye no more orsino's tears 4 u
Yet come again: for thou perhaps mayst move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
Yet come back; for you perhaps can change That heart which now despises him, to enjoy his love.
But come back; maybe you can change This heart that now hates him, to love him instead.
come back maybe u can change my mind abt orsino
The Reckoning
This scene marks the moment when Olivia falls in love. She had meant to stay out of the game — devoted to mourning her brother, impervious to the Duke's suit. Then Cesario walks into her garden, and everything changes. What makes it work is that Olivia is intelligent enough to recognize she's being undone by something beyond her control. She doesn't fall for Cesario by mistake. She falls for Cesario while watching herself fall, fully conscious of the contradiction.
If this happened today…
You've spent months avoiding a coworker's advances, kept yourself emotionally distant, stayed focused on your own life. Then one day they walk into a meeting you're running, and they're so clever and confident and good-looking that you actually lose your train of thought. You finish the meeting professionally, then text a friend: 'I think I just caught feelings for someone I was trying to avoid.'