No, faith, I’ll not stay a jot longer.
No, I won't stay any longer.
I'm not sticking around. I'm leaving.
i'm out
Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
Give your reason, you rascal. Tell me why.
Come on, buddy, why are you bailing?
why u leaving?
You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
You really must give us your reason, Sir Andrew.
Come on, Sir Andrew, tell us why.
tell us why andrew
Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the Count’s servingman than
ever she bestowed upon me; I saw’t i’ th’ orchard.
Indeed, I saw your niece show more favor to the Count's servant than she ever showed me; I saw it in the orchard.
Look, I saw your niece being way nicer to the Count's servant than she ever was to me, and I saw it happen in the orchard.
saw ur niece favor the counts servant more than me in the orchard
Did she see thee the while, old boy? Tell me that.
Did she see you at that time, old friend? Tell me that.
Did she see you when she was doing this, my friend? Tell me honestly.
did she see u tho be honest
As plain as I see you now.
As clearly as I see you right now.
As obviously as I'm looking at you right now.
clear as i see u rn
This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
This was strong evidence of her love toward you.
That's proof she loves you, right there.
thats her loving u
’Slight! will you make an ass o’ me?
Curse it! Are you trying to make a fool of me?
Come on! Are you messing with me?
stop messing w me
I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.
I will prove it legitimate, sir, by solemn judgment and rational thinking.
I'll prove it to you, sir, through good judgment and logic.
ill prove it w logic
Sir Toby never actually lies to Sir Andrew — he just strategically reframes facts. Olivia paying attention to Cesario becomes 'she was testing you.' Sir Andrew's cowardice becomes an opportunity to prove his bravery. The genius of the manipulation is that Sir Andrew participates in his own seduction. Toby and Fabian are not forcing him to fight; they're simply suggesting that fighting would be attractive to Olivia. Since Sir Andrew wants nothing more than to be attractive, he volunteers. By the end of the scene, Toby doesn't even have to push anymore — Andrew is doing it to himself.
And they have been grand-jurymen since before Noah was a sailor.
And judgment and reason have been serving that purpose since ancient times.
And those two have been around longer than memory itself.
theyve been around forever
She did show favour to the youth in your sight only to exasperate you,
to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart and brimstone
in your liver. You should then have accosted her, and with some
excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the
youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was
balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and
you are now sailed into the north of my lady’s opinion; where you will
hang like an icicle on Dutchman’s beard, unless you do redeem it by
some laudable attempt, either of valour or policy.
She showed favor to the youth only in front of you to make you angry, to wake up your sleepy courage, to put fire in your heart and anger in your soul. You should have then gone up to her and told her some brilliant new jokes, and you should have silenced the youth with your wit. This was expected from you, and it didn't happen: the precious opportunity you let time destroy, and now you're sailing into the frozen north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you fix it with some honorable act, either of courage or clever strategy.
She was nicer to the young guy only when you were watching, just to anger you and wake up that sleepy courage of yours, to fire you up. You should have gone over to her then and cracked some killer new jokes to show up the youth and impress her. Everyone expected you to do that, and you didn't: you blew this golden chance and let time waste it, and now you've sailed into the frozen reaches of my lady's opinion; where you're going to hang there like icicles in winter unless you do something brave or clever to win her back.
she favored him 2 make u mad to wake ur courage u shoulda joked better silenced him w wit u blew it let the chance die now ur frozen out unless u do smth brave
And’t be any way, it must be with valour, for policy I hate; I had as
lief be a Brownist as a politician.
And if it's to be done, it must be with courage, because I hate clever scheming; I would rather be a heretic than a politician.
And if I'm going to do it, it has to be through courage, because I hate clever tricks; I'd rather be anything than a politician.
gotta be brave hate tricks wont be a politician
Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. Challenge me
the Count’s youth to fight with him. Hurt him in eleven places; my
niece shall take note of it, and assure thyself there is no love-broker
in the world can more prevail in man’s commendation with woman than
report of valour.
Well then, build your fortune on courage. Challenge the Count's servant to a fight. Hurt him in eleven places; my niece will definitely notice it, and believe me, there is no matchmaker in the world who can recommend a man to a woman better than a report of his bravery.
Well then, make your fortune through courage. Go challenge the Count's servant to a duel. Beat him up good in multiple places; my niece will see it, and trust me, nothing makes a woman think better of a man than hearing he's brave.
build ur fortune on courage challenge the counts guy hurt him my niece will notice bravery = everything
There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
This is the only way forward, Sir Andrew.
There's no other option, Sir Andrew.
only way andrew
Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
Will either of you deliver a challenge from me to him?
Will one of you take a challenge letter from me to him?
can u deliver my challenge
Go, write it in a martial hand, be curst and brief; it is no matter how
witty, so it be eloquent and full of invention. Taunt him with the
licence of ink. If thou ‘thou’st’ him some thrice, it shall not be
amiss, and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the
sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set ’em down. Go
about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a
goose-pen, no matter. About it.
Go, write it in a military style, be aggressive and brief; it doesn't matter how clever it is, as long as it's well-spoken and creative. Insult him with the freedom that writing gives you. If you address him informally and directly a few times, it will work fine, and write as many insults and lies as you can fit on your paper, even if the paper were big enough for a famous bed, write them all down. Get to it. Make sure your ink is bitter and harsh, even if you have to write with a goose feather, it doesn't matter. Get to work.
Go write the challenge in a tough, military style, short and aggressive; I don't care how clever it is, just make sure it sounds impressive and creative. Insult him as much as you want with your pen. Address him directly and informally a few times, that'll work, and throw in as many insults and lies as you can fit on the page, even if you need paper as big as that famous giant bed in England, fill it up with them. Get going. Make sure your ink is bitter and mean, even if you have to write with a goose feather, doesn't matter. Get on with it.
write it tough n aggressive make it creative insult him freely w ur pen be informal n direct fill it w lies if u can make it bitter just go write it
Where shall I find you?
Where will I find you?
Where do I find you?
where u at
We’ll call thee at the cubiculo. Go.
We'll call for you at your room. Go.
We'll come get you at your room. Now go.
well get u at ur room go
Neither Cesario nor Sir Andrew is actually a fighter. Cesario will turn out to be Viola, a woman. Sir Andrew is wealthy but incompetent. Yet they're about to duel because of a chain of manipulations and misunderstandings. The duel will happen almost accidentally, with both men terrified, until Sebastian (Viola's twin) shows up and actually fights back with confidence, confusing everything further. The scene is funny because we can see the disaster assembling itself — and we can do nothing to stop it because all the pieces are moving in the direction of their own momentum.
This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
This young fellow costs you dearly, Sir Toby.
This guy's costing you a lot of money, Sir Toby.
andrew costs u lots
I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong, or so.
I have been expensive for him, boy, about two thousand pounds or so.
He's spent about two thousand pounds on me, give or take, my friend.
he spent like 2k on me
We shall have a rare letter from him; but you’ll not deliver it.
We'll get an amusing letter from him; but you won't actually deliver it.
We're going to get a hilarious letter out of him; but you're not going to send it.
hell write funny stuff but ull never send it
Never trust me then. And by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I
think oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he
were opened and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the
foot of a flea, I’ll eat the rest of th’ anatomy.
Then you can never trust me. And by all means, push the young man to respond. I don't think even oxen and rope can drag them together. As for Andrew, if we cut him open and found as much blood in his liver as would block a flea's foot, I'd eat the rest of him.
Then you can't trust me. But definitely encourage that young guy to respond to the challenge. I don't think even teams of oxen with ropes could drag these two together to fight. As for Andrew, if we cut him open and found enough blood in his liver to clog up a flea's foot, I'd eat the rest of his body.
push the youth to answer oxen n ropes cant bring them together andrew has no courage id bet anything on it
And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of
cruelty.
And the young man on the other side shows in his face no great sign of being cruel or dangerous.
And the youth on the other side doesn't look like he's got a cruel bone in his body.
the youth looks gentle tbh
Look where the youngest wren of nine comes.
Look, here comes the littlest bird of the bunch.
Look who's arriving; the littlest one of them all.
here comes lil maria
If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches,
follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for
there is no Christian that means to be saved by believing rightly can
ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He’s in yellow
stockings.
If you want to laugh until your sides hurt, follow me. That fool Malvolio has turned into a heathen, completely abandoned all sense; because no decent person could believe such obviously ridiculous and stupid things. He's wearing yellow stockings.
If you want to laugh so hard you can't breathe, come with me. That gullible Malvolio has completely lost it, totally abandoned his mind; because no decent person could ever believe something so obviously ridiculous. He's dressed in yellow stockings.
if u wanna laugh til it hurts follow me malvolio lost it no ones that dumb he's in yellow stockings
And cross-gartered?
And cross-gartered?
and cross-gartered?
And cross-gartered?
Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps a school i’ th’ church. I
have dogged him like his murderer. He does obey every point of the
letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more
lines than is in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies. You
have not seen such a thing as ’tis. I can hardly forbear hurling
things at him. I know my lady will strike him. If she do, he’ll smile
and take’t for a great favour.
Terribly badly; like a schoolmaster who runs a school in the church. I have stalked him like his killer. He obeys every single instruction in the letter I left to trick him. He smiles so much his face has more wrinkles than the new map with the East Indies added. You've never seen anything like it. I can hardly keep myself from throwing things at him. I know my lady will hit him. If she does, he'll smile and think it's a wonderful sign of affection.
Absolutely ridiculous; like some stuffy teacher running a church school. I've been following him around like I'm stalking my prey. He follows every single instruction from that letter I planted to mess with him. He's smiling so much his face looks like it has more lines than the new map with all the Indies added on. You've never seen anything like this. I can barely stop myself from throwing stuff at him. I'm sure my lady is going to hit him. And if she does, he's probably going to smile and think it's the biggest compliment she could give him.
acts like stiff church teacher i followed him like a stalker he obeys the fake letter perfectly smiling til his face is all wrinkles impossible 2 watch im tempted 2 throw things lady's gonna hit him and hell smile thinking she loves him
Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
Come, lead us to where he is.
Come on, take us to him.
take us 2 him
The Reckoning
This is the scaffolding of the third subplot: how to get two noble gentlemen (Sir Andrew and Cesario) into a sword fight by manipulating them both. Sir Toby's genius is that he never lies — he just arranges situations where people's egos and insecurities do the work for him. Sir Andrew is so desperate for validation that he'll agree to a duel he's terrified of having. Sir Toby knows Sir Andrew will lose, but he also knows Sir Andrew is rich, and a man who'll die for pride is a man who'll spend money.
If this happened today…
Your friend who's bad with money suggests that you prove your courage by challenging a guy to a fight. You know you'll lose. He knows you'll lose. But the alternative is that the girl you like thinks you're a coward, so you agree. Your friend then gets drunk and makes everything worse.