What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thick-skin? Speak, breathe,
discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.
What do you want, you rough fellow? Come on, speak up, explain yourself; be brief, quick, get to the point.
What do you need, you uncouth guy? Come on, speak, talk, explain; be quick about it.
what do u want dude? speak quick.
Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from Master Slender.
Indeed, sir, I've come to speak with Sir John Falstaff on behalf of Master Slender.
Well sir, I'm here to talk to Sir John Falstaff for my master Slender.
im here 2 talk 2 falstaff for my master
There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed and
truckle-bed. ’Tis painted about with the story of the Prodigal, fresh
and new. Go, knock and call. He’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto
thee. Knock, I say.
That's his room, his domain, his fortress—his main bed and his small bed. It's decorated all around with the story of the Prodigal Son, fresh and new. Go, knock and call out for him. He'll speak to you like a wild man. Knock, I say.
That's his room, his space, his little castle—with his big bed and his little bed. The walls are covered with the story of the Prodigal Son, brand new. Go knock and call him. He'll talk to you like someone from a foreign land. Knock, I'm telling you.
thats his room w beds n prodigal story painted. go knock call him hell speak like hes not from here
There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber. I’ll be so
bold as stay, sir, till she come down. I come to speak with her,
indeed.
An old woman, a fat woman, has gone up into his room. I'll be so bold as to stay here, sir, until she comes down. That's who I came to speak with.
Some old fat woman went up to his room. I'm going to wait here if that's okay, until she comes back down. I actually came to talk to her.
old fat woman went up. ill wait til she comes down. i came 2 talk 2 her
Ha? A fat woman? The knight may be robbed. I’ll call.—Bully knight!
Bully Sir John! Speak from thy lungs military. Art thou there? It is
thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.
What? A fat woman? The knight might be getting robbed. I'll call him.—Listen here, sir knight! Sir John! Speak up from deep in your chest, like a soldier. Are you there? It's your host, your drinking buddy, who's calling.
A fat woman? He might be getting robbed. I better call him.—Hey there, Sir John! Come on, speak up! Are you in there? It's me, your host, your friend calling.
fat woman? hes gettin robbed? ill call him. SIR JOHN SPEAK UP! im ur host callin u
[_Above_.] How now, mine host?
What do you want, innkeeper?
What's going on? What do you need?
what's up
Here’s a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman. Let
her descend, bully, let her descend. My chambers are honourable. Fie!
Privacy? Fie!
Here's a strange foreign fellow waiting for your fat woman to come down. Let her come down, my good fellow, let her come down. My rooms are respectable. Shame! Privacy? Shame!
There's some weird foreign guy here waiting for that fat woman to come down. Let her come down, come on, let her come down. My rooms are perfectly respectable. For crying out loud! You want privacy? For crying out loud!
weird foreign dude waiting 4 ur woman. let her come down. my rooms r fine. what no privacy?
There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me, but she’s
gone.
Yes, my host, there was an old fat woman with me just now, but she's gone.
Yeah, my friend, there was this old fat woman in here with me, but she took off.
yeah there was old fat woman here. shes gone now
Pray you, sir, was’t not the wise woman of Brentford?
Please sir, wasn't that the wise woman of Brentford?
Excuse me sir, wasn't that the wise woman from Brentford?
was that the wise woman from brentford?
Ay, marry was it, mussel-shell. What would you with her?
Yes, indeed it was, you simpleton. What do you want with her?
Yeah, it was her, dummy. What do you need from her?
yeah it was her what do u want?
My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through
the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a
chain, had the chain or no.
My master, sir, my Master Slender, saw her walking through town and sent word to her asking whether a man named Nym, who tricked him out of a chain, has the chain or not.
My master, Master Slender, saw her walking through town and sent word asking if some guy named Nym, who scammed him out of a chain, still has that chain.
my master asked her if nym guy still has the chain he stole
I spake with the old woman about it.
I spoke with the old woman about it.
Yeah, I already talked to her about that.
already talked to her about it
And what says she, I pray, sir?
And what did she say, please sir?
So what did she tell you, sir?
what'd she say?
Marry, she says that the very same man that beguiled Master Slender of
his chain cozened him of it.
Indeed, she says that the very same man who tricked Master Slender out of his chain is the one who swindled him out of it.
Well, she says that the same guy who scammed Slender out of the chain is the one who stole it.
she said same guy who scammed him got the chain
I would I could have spoken with the woman herself. I had other things
to have spoken with her too, from him.
I wish I could have spoken with the woman myself. I had other things to ask her about too, from my master.
I really wanted to talk to her myself. I had other stuff to ask her about too, from my master.
wish i couldve talked 2 her. had other stuff 2 ask
What are they? Let us know.
What are those other things? Tell us.
What are those other things? Spit it out.
what r they? tell us
Ay, come. Quick.
Yes, come. Quick.
yes, come. quick.
yes, come. quick.
I may not conceal them, sir.
I cannot hide them from you, sir.
I can't keep them secret, sir.
cant hide it sir
Conceal them, or thou diest.
Hide them or you die.
Keep it secret or you're dead.
hide it or ur dead
Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne Page, to know if it
were my master’s fortune to have her or no.
Well, sir, it was just about Mistress Anne Page—to find out if it was my master's fortune to get her or not.
Well sir, it was just about Mistress Anne Page—to find out whether my master could get with her or not.
just bout mistress anne page. if my master can get her or not
’Tis, ’tis his fortune.
It is his fortune.
He's got a shot at her.
hes got a shot
What sir?
What sir?
what sir?
what sir?
To have her, or no. Go, say the woman told me so.
Whether or not your master will have her. Go, tell him the woman told me so.
Whether your master gets her or not. Go tell him that's what the woman said.
she said your master gets her go tell him
May I be bold to say so, sir?
Is it proper for me to tell him that, sir?
Can I tell him that, sir?
should i tell him?
Ay, sir; like who more bold?
Yes, sir; who could be bolder?
Yeah, go for it; what's the worst that could happen?
yeah go 4 it
I thank your worship; I shall make my master glad with these tidings.
I thank you; I will make my master happy with this news.
Thanks a lot; my master's going to be thrilled with this news.
thanks! master will b happy bout this
Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was there a wise woman
with thee?
You're clever, you're clever, Sir John. Was there a fortune teller with you?
You're smart, you're smart, Sir John. Was there a wise woman helping you?
youre clever sir john was there a fortune teller
Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than
ever I learned before in my life; and I paid nothing for it neither,
but was paid for my learning.
Yes, that's true, my host; that woman taught me more wisdom than I've ever learned in my life; and I didn't pay for it either—in fact, I was paid for my education.
Yeah, that's right, my friend; that woman taught me more smarts than anything else in my life; and I didn't even have to pay for it—actually, I got paid for the lesson.
yep she taught me more than life. didnt pay just got paid
Out, alas, sir, cozenage, mere cozenage!
Oh no, sir, deception, pure deception!
Oh no! We've been tricked, completely tricked!
we got tricked total scam
Where be my horses? Speak well of them, varletto.
Where are my horses? Speak well of them, you scoundrel.
Where are my horses? You better say nice things about them, you crook.
where r my horses? better speak well of em
Run away, with the cozeners. For so soon as I came beyond Eton, they
threw me off from behind one of them, in a slough of mire, and set
spurs and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.
They ran away with the swindlers. As soon as I passed Eton, they threw me off from behind one of the horses into a muddy swamp and spurred the horses away like three demonic Germans, three Fausts.
They ran off with the con men. Right after we passed Eton, they threw me off the back of one of the horses into mud and dirt, then took off at a gallop like three crazy Germans.
ran off w con men. threw me off after eton into mud then galloped away
They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain, do not say they be fled.
Germans are honest men.
They've only gone to meet the Duke, scoundrel; don't say they've run away. Germans are honest men.
They just went to meet the Duke, you fool; don't say they ran off. Germans are good honest people.
they just went 2 meet duke fool. dont say they fled. germans r honest
Where is mine host?
Where is the host?
Where's the innkeeper?
where's the host
What is the matter, sir?
What's the problem, sir?
What's wrong, sir?
whats wrong?
Have a care of your entertainments. There is a friend of mine come to
town tells me there is three cozen-Germans that has cozened all the
hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I
tell you for good will, look you. You are wise, and full of gibes and
vlouting-stocks, and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare
you well.
Be careful about your visitors. A friend of mine who came to town tells me there are three con-artist Germans who have swindled all the innkeepers of Readings, Maidenhead, and Colebrook out of horses and money. I'm telling you this in good faith. You are clever and full of jokes and mockery, and it wouldn't be right for you to be swindled. Goodbye.
Watch out with your guests. A friend told me there's three con-artist Germans going around who've ripped off every innkeeper at Readings, Maidenhead, and Colebrook for horses and cash. I'm telling you this to help you out, okay. You're smart and quick-witted and all, but you shouldn't get swindled. Take care.
watch ur guests. 3 german con artists scamming innkeepers out of horses n money. telling u 4 ur own good. u shouldnt get scammed.
Vere is mine host de Jarteer?
Where is my host the Garter?
Where's the innkeeper of the Garter?
where u at garter?
Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma.
Here I am, Master Doctor, confused and in great doubt.
Right here, Master Doctor, all confused and worried.
im here doctor. confused n worried
I cannot tell vat is dat, but it is tell-a me dat you make grand
preparation for a Duke de Jamany. By my trot, dere is no duke that the
court is know to come. I tell you for good will. Adieu.
I don't know what that is, but I've been told you're making grand preparations for a Duke of Germany. By my word, there's no duke that the court knows is coming. I'm telling you this in good faith. Goodbye.
I dunno what that means, but I heard you're getting ready for some Duke from Germany. Trust me, there's no Duke coming that the court knows about. I'm just telling you to help. Goodbye.
u making prep for german duke? no duke coming. just tellin u. bye
Hue and cry, villain, go!—Assist me, knight, I am undone.—Fly, run, hue
and cry, villain, I am undone!
Sound the alarm, villain, go! Help me, knight—I am ruined! Run, flee, sound the alarm, villain—I am ruined!
Sound the alarm, you villain, go! Help me, knight—I'm ruined! Run, flee, sound the alarm! I'm completely ruined!
sound the alarm go now help me im ruined RUN im done for
I would all the world might be cozened, for I have been cozened and
beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court how I have been
transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled,
they would melt me out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s
boots with me. I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits till I
were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore
myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough, I would
repent.
I wish everyone in the world would be swindled, because I've been swindled and beaten too. If the court found out how I was transformed and beaten and washed, they would laugh at me, melt me down like fat and use me to grease fishermen's boots. I swear they would mock me so hard that I'd be as miserable as a shriveled pear. I haven't had good luck since I broke my gambling oath. Well, if I had enough breath, I would repent.
I wish everyone got swindled like I did. They beat me up and made me look ridiculous. If the court hears about what they did to me and how they washed and beat me, they'll laugh me out of the kingdom, use me up like grease for boots. They'd mock me so much I'd be as pathetic as a dried pear. Nothing's gone right since I stopped being honest at gambling. Man, if I had the time, I'd actually repent.
wish everyone got scammed like me. they beat me n washed me. court wld laugh. id b like dried pear. nothings gone right. wish id repent
Now, whence come you?
Now, where have you come from?
Where have you been?
where you coming from
From the two parties, forsooth.
From both parties, truly.
From both of them, really.
from both of em
The devil take one party and his dam the other, and so they shall be
both bestowed. I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the
villainous inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to bear.
The devil take one party and the other's mother, and they can both go to hell. I have suffered more for their sake than any person should have to endure from people's rotten nature.
Curse one of them and the other's mother, they can both get lost. I've suffered way more for them than anyone should ever have to deal with.
curse both of em n their moms. ive suffered way more than i should
And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant, speciously one of them.
Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot
see a white spot about her.
Haven't they suffered too? Yes, I assure you, especially one of them. Mistress Ford, poor thing, is beaten black and blue—you can't see one white spot on her.
Haven't they suffered too? Yeah, I'm telling you, especially one of them. Poor Mistress Ford is all black and blue—there's not a white spot left on her.
they suffered 2? esp one. poor ms ford black n blue everywhere
What tellst thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the
colours of the rainbow, and was like to be apprehended for the witch of
Brentford. But that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting
the action of an old woman, delivered me, the knave constable had set
me i’ the stocks, i’ the common stocks, for a witch.
Don't tell me about black and blue! I was beaten into every color of the rainbow and almost got arrested as the witch of Brentford. But because I cleverly pretended to be an old woman, I got away with it. Otherwise the constable would have locked me in the public stocks as a witch.
Don't even talk to me about black and blue! I got beaten every color of the rainbow and almost got arrested as the Brentford witch. Lucky for me I was smart enough to pretend to be an old lady, or that jerk of a constable would've locked me in the public stocks as a witch.
dont talk bout bruises. i got beaten all colors. almost arrested as witch. but i pretended 2 b old lady so i got away
Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber, you shall hear how things
go, and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say
somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure,
one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.
Sir, let me speak with you in your room and you'll hear how everything is going, and I promise it will make you happy. Here's a letter that will say something. Good gracious, what a lot of effort it takes to bring you two together! Clearly one of you doesn't please heaven well, because you're so unlucky.
Sir, let me talk to you in your room and I'll tell you how everything is working out, and it'll make you happy. I've got a letter that'll explain things. My goodness, getting you two together is so hard! Clearly neither of you's got heaven's favor, the way things keep going wrong.
let me talk 2 u in ur room. things r going well. got letter 4 u. so hard getting u 2gether. neither of u got heavens favor
Come up into my chamber.
Come up to my room.
Head on up to my chamber.
come 2 my room
The Reckoning
This is the scene where the tricksters of Windsor start getting tricked, and Falstaff and the Host both take a fall. The Host, who spent the play mocking everyone else, is cheated by the fake Germans, and Evans and Caius coolly tell him so 'for good will', which is their revenge for the duel he set up and made fools of them over. Falstaff's asides turn his pain into jokes: he got 'paid for my learning', and he pictures the court melting him down to grease fishermen's boots. Notice how little that self-knowledge counts for. He talks about repenting, and a minute later Quickly's letter has him hooked again. His vanity is stronger than anything he learns.
If this happened today…
You've just been scammed on a resale site, and while you're still smarting, a stranger knocks asking for the seller you got burned by, so you make up an answer to get rid of him. Meanwhile the smug building manager who pranks everyone finds out his 'VIP guests' have run off with his car. Two people he once pranked drop by to tell him they heard it was a scam, and they're enjoying every word. You swear you've learned your lesson. Then your phone buzzes with a text from the same person who got you into this, and you reply straight away.