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Act 4, Scene 4 — A room in Ford’s house
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Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford and Sir Hugh Evans.
EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as ever I did look upon.

’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as ever I did look upon.

’tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as ever i did look upon.

’tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as eve

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

and did he send you both these letters at an instant?

and did he send you both these letters at an insta

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Within a quarter of an hour.

Within a quarter of an hour.

within a quarter of an hour.

within a quarter of an hour.

FORD ≋ verse Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou wilt.

I rather will suspect the sun with cold

Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honour stand,

In him that was of late an heretic,

As firm as faith.

Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what you wilt. I rather will suspect the sun with cold Than you with wantonness. Now does your honour stand, In him that was of late an heretic, As firm as faith.

pardon me, wife. henceforth, do what you wilt. i rather will suspect the sun with cold than you with wantonness. now does your honour stand, in him that was of late an heretic, as firm as faith.

pardon me, wife. henceforth, do what you wilt. i

PAGE ≋ verse Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

’Tis well, ’tis well, no more.

Be not as extreme in submission as in offence.

But let our plot go forward. Let our wives

Yet once again, to make us public sport,

Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,

Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

’Tis well, ’tis well, no more. Be not as extreme in submission as in offence. But let our plot go forward. Let our wives Yet once again, to make us public sport, Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

’tis well, ’tis well, no more. be not as extreme in submission as in offence. but let our plot go forward. let our wives yet once again, to make us public sport, appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, where we may take him and disgrace him for it.

’tis well, ’tis well, no more. be not as extreme i

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

There is no better way than that they spoke of.

There is no better way than that they spoke of.

there is no better way than that they spoke of.

there is no better way than that they spoke of.

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

How? To send him word they’ll meet him in the park at midnight? Fie,

fie, he’ll never come.

How? To send him word they’ll meet him in the park at midnight? Fie, fie, he’ll never come.

how? to send him word they’ll meet him in the park at midnight? fie, fie, he’ll never come.

how? to send him word they’ll meet him in the park

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

You say he has been thrown in the rivers, and has been grievously

peaten as an old ’oman. Methinks there should be terrors in him, that

he should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished; he shall have no

desires.

You say he has been thrown in the rivers, and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman. I think there should be terrors in him, that he should not come. I think his flesh is punished; he will have no desires.

you say he has been thrown in the rivers, and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman. i think there should be terrors in him, that he should not come. i think his flesh is punished; he will have no desires.

you say he has been thrown in the rivers, and has

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

So think I too.

So think I too.

so think i too.

so think i too.

MISTRESS FORD ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.

Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes, And let us two devise to bring him thither.

devise but how you’ll use him when he comes, and let us two devise to bring him thither.

devise but how you’ll use him when he comes, and l

MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,

Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,

Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns,

And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,

And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain

In a most hideous and dreadful manner.

You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know

The superstitious idle-headed eld

Received and did deliver to our age,

This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest, does all the winter time, at still midnight, Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns, And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle, And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain In a most hideous and dreadful manner. You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know The superstitious idle-headed eld Received and did deliver to our age, This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

there is an old tale goes that herne the hunter, sometime a keeper here in windsor forest, does all the winter time, at still midnight, walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns, and there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle, and makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain in a most hideous and dreadful manner. you have heard of such a spirit, and well you know the superstitious idle-headed eld received and did deliver to our age, this tale of herne the hunter for a truth.

there is an old tale goes that herne the hunter, s

PAGE ≋ verse Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

Why, yet there want not many that do fear

In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.

But what of this?

Why, yet there want not many that do fear In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak. But what of this?

why, yet there want not many that do fear in deep of night to walk by this herne’s oak. but what of this?

why, yet there want not many that do fear in deep

MISTRESS FORD ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Marry, this is our device,

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,

Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.

Well, this is our device, That Falstaff at that oak will meet with us, Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.

well, this is our device, that falstaff at that oak will meet with us, disguised like herne, with huge horns on his head.

well, this is our device, that falstaff at that oa

PAGE ≋ verse Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come,

And in this shape; when you have brought him thither,

What shall be done with him? What is your plot?

Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come, And in this shape; when you have brought him thither, What will be done with him? What is your plot?

well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come, and in this shape; when you have brought him thither, what will be done with him? what is your plot?

well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come, and in

MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,

And three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress

Like urchins, oafs and fairies, green and white,

With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads

And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,

As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,

Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once

With some diffused song; upon their sight

We two in great amazedness will fly.

Then let them all encircle him about,

And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight,

And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,

In their so sacred paths he dares to tread

In shape profane.

That likewise have we thought upon, and thus: Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, And three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress Like urchins, oafs and fairies, green and white, With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden, As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met, Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once With some diffused song; upon their sight We two in great amazedness will fly. Then let them all encircle him about, And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight, And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel, In their so sacred paths he dares to tread In shape profane.

that likewise have we thought upon, and thus: nan page my daughter, and my little son, and three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress like urchins, oafs and fairies, green and white, with rounds of waxen tapers on their heads and rattles in their hands. upon a sudden, as falstaff, she, and i are newly met, let them from forth a sawpit rush at once with some diffused song; upon their sight we two in great amazedness will fly. then let them all encircle him about, and fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight, and ask him why, that hour of fairy revel, in their so sacred paths he dares to tread in shape profane.

that likewise have we thought upon, and thus: nan

MISTRESS FORD ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

And till he tell the truth,

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound

And burn him with their tapers.

And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound And burn him with their tapers.

and till he tell the truth, let the supposed fairies pinch him sound and burn him with their tapers.

and till he tell the truth, let the supposed fairi

MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

The truth being known,

We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,

And mock him home to Windsor.

The truth being known, We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, And mock him home to Windsor.

the truth being known, we’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit, and mock him home to windsor.

the truth being known, we’ll all present ourselves

FORD ≋ verse Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

The children must

Be practised well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.

The children must Be practised well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.

the children must be practised well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.

the children must be practised well to this, or th

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

I will teach the children their behaviours, and I will be like a

jackanapes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

I will teach the children their behaviours, and I will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

i will teach the children their behaviours, and i will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

i will teach the children their behaviours, and i

FORD Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.

That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.

that will be excellent. i’ll go buy them vizards.

that will be excellent. i’ll go buy them vizards.

MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

My Nan will be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white.

my nan will be the queen of all the fairies, finely attired in a robe of white.

my nan will be the queen of all the fairies, finel

PAGE Reasonable and practical; trying to keep things civil

That silk will I go buy.

That silk will I go buy.

that silk will i go buy.

that silk will i go buy.

[_Aside_.] And in that time
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,
And marry her at Eton.—Go, send to Falstaff straight.
FORD ≋ verse Jealously suspicious; possessively protective of his wife

Nay, I’ll to him again in name of Brook.

He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he’ll come.

No, I’ll to him again in name of Brook. He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he’ll come.

no, i’ll to him again in name of brook. he’ll tell me all his purpose. sure, he’ll come.

no, i’ll to him again in name of brook. he’ll tell

MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Fear not you that. Go, get us properties

And tricking for our fairies.

Fear not you that. Go, get us properties And tricking for our fairies.

fear not you that. go, get us properties and tricking for our fairies.

fear not you that. go, get us properties and trick

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

let us about it. it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

let us about it. it is admirable pleasures and fer

[_Exeunt Page, Ford and Evans._]
MISTRESS PAGE ≋ verse Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Go, Mistress Ford.

Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.

Go, Mistress Ford. Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.

go, mistress ford. send quickly to sir john to know his mind.

go, mistress ford. send quickly to sir john to kno

[_Exit Mistress Ford._]
I’ll to the Doctor. He hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot,
And he my husband best of all affects.
The Doctor is well moneyed, and his friends
Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
[_Exit._]

The Reckoning

If this happened today…

Continue to 4.5 →