’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as ever I did look upon.
That's one of the finest demonstrations of good judgment from a woman that I've ever seen.
That's seriously impressive how sensible this woman is. Best judgment I've ever seen.
shes got such good sense. best judgment ever.
And did he send you both these letters at an instant?
Did he send both of you these letters at the same time?
So he sent both of you those letters at the exact same time?
he sent u both letters at once?
Within a quarter of an hour.
Within fifteen minutes.
In about fifteen minutes.
like 15 mins apart
Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou wilt.
I rather will suspect the sun with cold
Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honour stand,
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.
Forgive me, wife. From now on, you do as you wish. I would sooner suspect the sun of bringing cold weather Than suspect you of disloyalty. Now your honor stands In the man who was recently a skeptic As firm as faith itself.
I'm sorry, wife. Do whatever you want from now on. I'd have better luck blaming the sun for freezing us Than blaming you for cheating on me. Your reputation is solid With the guy who just changed his mind As trustworthy as faith gets.
im sorry babe. do what u want. i trust u completely. ur honor is solid w him.
’Tis well, ’tis well, no more.
Be not as extreme in submission as in offence.
But let our plot go forward. Let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.
That's settled, enough said. Don't be as extreme with your apologies as you were with your jealousy. But let's move forward with our plan. Let our wives Once more arrange a meeting with this old fat man, So we can catch him and humiliate him for it.
Alright, that's done. No need to keep apologizing. Don't overcorrect as hard as you accused her. Anyway, let's get back to the plan. Our wives should Set up another meeting with that old fat Falstaff So we can trap him and embarrass him good.
ok done. dont overcorrect now. lets go back to plan. set up meeting w falstaff so we trap n embarrass him
There is no better way than that they spoke of.
There is no better plan than the one they suggested.
Yeah, their idea is the best one.
their plan is perfect
How? To send him word they’ll meet him in the park at midnight? Fie,
fie, he’ll never come.
What? To send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight? Nonsense— he'll never come.
What? Just send him a message they'll meet in the park at midnight? No way, he won't show up.
what meet him in park at midnight? no way he shows up
You say he has been thrown in the rivers, and has been grievously
peaten as an old ’oman. Methinks there should be terrors in him, that
he should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished; he shall have no
desires.
You say he's been thrown into rivers and beaten severely like an old woman. I think this should terrify him so much that he won't come. I think his body is so punished that he won't have any desire to come.
You're saying he's been thrown in rivers and beaten up bad? That should scare him enough so he won't show up. His whole body got beat up; he's got no interest in coming.
got thrown in rivers beaten bad. should b terrified. probly wont come. body hurts not interested
So think I too.
I think so as well.
That's what I'm thinking too.
same
Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Just figure out what you'll do to him when he arrives, And let me and my friend figure out how to get him there.
Just plan what you're gonna do with him when he shows up, And let me and the Missus work out how to get him there.
plan what u do to him well work on gettin him there
There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns,
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Received and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.
There's an old story about Herne the hunter, Who was once a forest keeper here in Windsor Forest, Who walks all winter long, at midnight, Around an oak, with great shaggy horns, And there he blasts the tree, and steals cattle, And makes dairy cows produce blood, and shakes a chain In a terrifying and dreadful way. You've heard of such a spirit, and you know well That superstitious, foolish old people Believed and passed down to our time This tale of Herne the hunter as absolute truth.
There's this old story about Herne the hunter, Who used to work as a forest keeper here in Windsor, And every winter at midnight he shows up Walking around this oak tree with huge, ugly horns, And he kills the tree and steals livestock, And makes cows bleed, and rattles chains around In this absolutely terrifying way. You know about ghosts like that, and you know That our dumb, superstitious ancestors Passed down to us this tale about Herne And swore it was totally real.
theres old story bout herne the hunter. used 2 work in forest here. walks round oak at midnight w horns kills tree steals cows makes em bleed shakes chain scary way. u know that ghost story? old ppl passed it down.
Why, yet there want not many that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.
But what of this?
Why, there are still many who fear To walk by Herne's oak in the deep night. But what does this have to do with our plan?
Yeah, plenty of people are still scared to go near that oak tree at night. But what's your point?
lots of ppl still scared of that oak at night. so what?
Marry, this is our device,
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Indeed, this is our plan: That Falstaff will meet us at that oak, Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Well, here's our scheme: We get Falstaff to come to that oak Dressed up like Herne with giant horns.
heres plan: get falstaff to oak dressed like herne w big horns
Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come,
And in this shape; when you have brought him thither,
What shall be done with him? What is your plot?
Well, there's no doubt he'll come in that disguise; When you've brought him there, What will you do to him? What's your plan?
Yeah, he'll definitely show up dressed like that. Once you get him there, What are you gonna do with him? What's next?
hell come dressed up then what? whats the plan?
That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we’ll dress
Like urchins, oafs and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads
And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,
Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
With some diffused song; upon their sight
We two in great amazedness will fly.
Then let them all encircle him about,
And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight,
And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
In shape profane.
We've thought about that too, and here's how: My daughter Nan Page and my little son, And three or four other children their age, we'll dress Like goblins, imps and fairies, in green and white, With candles on their heads And rattles in their hands. All of a sudden, When Falstaff, she and I have just met, Let them rush out from behind a sawpit Singing some jumbled song; the moment they appear We two will pretend to be terrified and run away. Then they'll all circle around him, And like fairies, pinch the filthy old knight, And ask him why, at this sacred fairy time, In their holy paths he dares to walk In this ungodly form.
Yeah, we've got this figured out: Our daughter Nan and my little boy And a few other kids will get dressed up As goblins, sprites, and fairies in green and white, With candles strapped to their heads And rattles in their hands. Then suddenly, Just after Falstaff meets up with me and her, They all jump out from behind this pit Singing some messy song. When he sees them We'll both run away screaming. Then they circle him up, And like fairies, they pinch this gross old guy, And they ask him why he's here at fairy hour Walking around in their sacred space In his ugly human form.
we dress kids as fairies green n white candles on heads got rattles they jump out singin we run away scared they circle him n pinch him ask y hes trespassing in fairy time
And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound
And burn him with their tapers.
And until he tells the truth, Let the fake fairies pinch him hard And burn him with their candles.
And until he admits what's going on, The pretend fairies keep pinching him And burning him with those candles.
til he confesses fake fairies pinch n burn him
The truth being known,
We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Once the truth comes out, We'll all reveal ourselves, take off his horns, And mock him all the way back to Windsor.
Once it all comes out, We'll show up, rip off those horns, And laugh at him the whole way home.
when hes exposed we show up take off horns laugh him home
The children must
Be practised well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.
The children must Be well rehearsed in this, or they won't pull it off.
The kids need to practice this a lot, or it won't work.
kids gotta practice or itll fail
I will teach the children their behaviours, and I will be like a
jackanapes also, to burn the knight with my taber.
I will teach the children their parts, and I will act like a jester as well, and burn the knight with my drum.
I'll teach the kids how to act their parts, and I'll be like a clown too, and burn the knight with my drum.
ill teach kids their parts ill act crazy n burn him w my drum
That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.
Excellent plan. I'll go purchase some masks.
Perfect. Let me go get some masks.
great ill grab masks
My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
Finely attired in a robe of white.
My daughter Nan will be the queen of all the fairies, Beautifully dressed in a white robe.
My Nan will be the fairy queen, all dressed up pretty in a white dress.
nans gonna b fairy queen in white dress
That silk will I go buy.
I'll go purchase the silk fabric.
I'm going to get that silk material.
ill get the silk
[_Aside_.] And in that time
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,
And marry her at Eton.—Go, send to Falstaff straight.
And while that's happening, Master Slender will take my Nan away and marry her at Eton.—Go, send word to Falstaff immediately.
While all that's going on, Master Slender will sneak away with my Nan and marry her at Eton.—Now go tell Falstaff right away.
slender's stealing nan marrying her at eton send falstaff a msg now
Nay, I’ll to him again in name of Brook.
He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure, he’ll come.
No, I'll go to him again under the name Brook. He'll tell me all his plans. He'll definitely come.
No, I'll go see him again pretending to be Brook. He'll spill all his plans to me. He'll definitely show up.
ill see him as brook hell tell me everything hell def come
Fear not you that. Go, get us properties
And tricking for our fairies.
Don't worry about that. Go get us props And costumes for our fairies.
Don't worry about it. Go get us all the stuff And costumes we need for the fairies.
dont worry. get props n costumes for fairies
Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.
Let's get to it. It's admirably entertaining trickery and clever deception.
Let's do this. It's a great bit of fun and clever tricks.
lets do it. its amazing fun n clever tricks
Go, Mistress Ford.
Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.
Go, Mistress Ford. Send word quickly to Sir John to find out his thoughts.
Go on, Mistress Ford. Get word to Sir John quick and find out what he's thinking.
go ms ford send msg to falstaff quick find out wats up
I’ll to the Doctor. He hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot,
And he my husband best of all affects.
The Doctor is well moneyed, and his friends
Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
I'm backing the Doctor. He has my approval, And only he shall marry Nan Page. That Slender, though he owns much land, is an idiot, And my husband prefers him above all others. The Doctor is wealthy, and his friends Are powerful at court. Only he shall have her, Even if twenty thousand worthier men came to ask for her.
I'm going with the Doctor. He has my blessing, And he's the only one who should marry Nan. Slender owns plenty of land, but he's an idiot, And my husband loves him best of all anyway. The Doctor has money and connections at court. He alone will marry her, Even if thousands of better men came asking.
going with the doctor he gets my approval only one for nan slender's an idiot my husband loves him tho doctor is rich has court power he gets her no one else
The Reckoning
This scene turns the wives' private revenge into a community project and quietly sets up the double-cross that will crown the play's comedy. Ford's extravagant apology marks the end of his jealousy plot; Page wisely tells him not to be as extreme in submission as in offence. Mistress Page takes charge, spinning the Herne legend into a full piece of theatre with costumes, candles and rehearsed children. Notice how the husbands, once the dupes, now eagerly run errands for their wives. Then the scene splits: Page's aside and Mistress Page's closing speech show each parent secretly scheming to marry Anne off during the chaos, Page to Slender and Mistress Page to Caius. A trick to shame one man becomes cover for three rival plots.
If this happened today…
Your office finally catches the guy who's been sending identical flirty messages to two colleagues. Everyone gathers to plan a big public prank at the holiday party, and the manager who wrongly accused his own partner apologises so hard it gets awkward. Soon everyone has a job: someone's buying masks, someone's coaching the interns. But as the meeting breaks up, two of the organisers each mutter to themselves that the party chaos is the perfect moment to push through their own secret plan, and those plans directly contradict each other.