Jack Rugby!
Jack Rugby!
jack rugby!
jack rugby!
Sir?
Sir?
sir?
sir?
Vat is de clock, Jack?
What time is it, Jack?
So what time are we looking at, Jack?
what time?
’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised to meet.
It's past the time Sir Hugh promised to meet us.
He's late. Sir Hugh said he'd be here by now.
he's late
By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come. He has pray his Pible
well dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he
be come.
By God, he's saved his soul because he hasn't come. He's prayed his Bible well that he hasn't come. By God, Jack Rugby, he's already dead if he had come.
By God, he's lucky he didn't show up—he's saved his own life that way. He's prayed well to avoid this. If he'd actually come, I'd have killed him.
lucky he didn't come or he'd be dead
He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he came.
He's wise, sir; he knew you would kill him if he came.
He's smart—he knows you'd kill him if he showed up.
he knows you'd kill him
By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier,
Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
By God, no herring is as dead as I will make him. Take your sword, Jack; I will tell you how I will kill him.
By God, I'll kill him worse than any dead herring. Come on, Jack, grab your sword; let me show you how I'll do it.
grab your sword, i'll show you how to kill him
Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
I'm sorry, sir, but I can't sword-fight.
Sorry, sir, but I can't fence.
can't fence
Villainy, take your rapier.
You coward, take your sword!
You coward, grab your sword!
arm yourself
Forbear; here’s company.
Stop; there are people coming.
Hold on; someone's coming.
stop company's here
The Host of the Garter is the play's most interesting minor character precisely because he has no stake in any of the play's main conflicts and yet involves himself in all of them. He maintains Evans (who brings him clerical and community connections), Caius (who brings him aristocratic patients and status), Falstaff (who lives in his inn and drinks his sack), and now he's playing the two would-be duellists against each other for entertainment. He's not malicious — he clearly enjoys people — but he's a man who derives pleasure and profit from the chaos around him. His false translations to Caius ('mockwater' = valor, 'clapper-claw' = make amends) are the moves of someone who finds foreign-language confusion inherently funny. Shakespeare gives him a stream of nicknames and invented titles ('bully doctor,' 'Aesculapius,' 'my Ethiopian') that signal a man who experiences the world primarily as a source of material.
God bless thee, bully doctor!
May God bless you, my bold doctor!
Good luck, doc! You're a brave fellow!
bless you, brave doc
God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
God bless you, Master Doctor Caius!
Hello, Doctor Caius!
hey doctor caius
Now, good Master Doctor!
Hello, good Master Doctor!
Hello there, Doctor!
hey doc
Give you good morrow, sir.
Good day to you, sir.
Good day, sir.
morning
Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
What are all four of you here for?
What do all four of you want?
what are you all doing here?
To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee
here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy
reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he
dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says my Aesculapius, my Galen, my
heart of elder, ha? Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
To watch you fight, to watch you thrust, to watch you move back and forth; to see you here and there; to watch you perform your forward thrust, your parry, your reverse stroke, your distance movements, your high cut. Is he dead, my friend? Is he dead, my friend? What do you say, you great warrior? What says my wise doctor, my noble sage, my brave soul? Is he dead, you veteran? Is he dead?
I came to watch you fight—to see you thrust, dodge, move around. To see you here, see you there, watch you do all those fancy fencing moves. So is he dead? Is he dead? What do you say, tough guy? Is he finally dead, old timer? Is he?
came to watch you fight. is he dead?
By gar, he is de coward Jack-priest of de vorld. He is not show his
face.
By God, he's the biggest cowardly priest in the world. He's not showing his face.
By God, he's the biggest cowardly priest in the world. He won't even show his face.
biggest coward ever. won't even show his face
Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of Greece, my boy!
You're like some great warrior-king worthy of ancient legend, my boy!
You're like some legendary warrior-king, my friend!
you're like a legendary king
I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree
hours for him, and he is no come.
I ask you to bear witness that I've waited six or seven, two, three hours for him, and he hasn't come.
I ask you all to witness: I've waited here seven or eight hours for him, and he never showed.
i waited hours and he never came
He is the wiser man, Master doctor. He is a curer of souls, and you a
curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go against the hair of your
professions. Is it not true, Master Page?
He's the wiser man, Master Doctor. He cures souls, and you cure bodies. If you should fight, you'd go against the purpose of your professions. Isn't that right, Master Page?
He's the smarter one here, Doctor. He heals people's souls, and you heal their bodies. If you two fought, you'd both be going against what you're supposed to do for people. Wouldn't you say so, Master Page?
he's smarter. he heals souls, you heal bodies. fighting goes against both your jobs
Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a
man of peace.
Master Shallow, you yourself were once a great fighter, though now you're a man of peace.
Master Shallow, you used to be quite the fighter back in the day, though you're a peaceful man now.
you used to fight too
Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see
a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices and
doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in
us. We are the sons of women, Master Page.
By God's body, Master Page, though I'm old now and dedicated to peace, if I see a sword drawn, my fingers itch to fight. Though we're judges, doctors, and priests, Master Page, we still have some fire of youth in us. We're still human, Master Page.
By God, Master Page, even though I'm old now and committed to peace, when I see a sword come out, I get the urge to fight. Even though we're judges and doctors and priests, Master Page, we've still got some of that youthful spirit in us. We're still flesh and blood, Master Page.
even old guys get the urge to fight when they see swords. we're only human
The Evans-Caius duel is the most thoroughly defused threat in Shakespeare — it's challenged in 1-4, prepared for through 2-3 and 3-1, and never actually happens. The comedy isn't in the fight but in the anticipation of a fight that keeps not materializing. Caius's boasts about what he would have done to Evans if Evans had appeared are funnier for the conditional tense: 'he would be dead already, if he had come.' He's the mightiest fighter in a fight nobody showed up for. This is Shakespeare playing with comic structure — the audience expects a duel scene and gets instead a scene about not dueling, which is often funnier.
’Tis true, Master Shallow.
That's true, Master Shallow.
No doubt about it, Master Shallow.
definitely
It will be found so, Master Page.—Master Doctor Caius, I come to fetch
you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a wise
physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient
churchman. You must go with me, Master Doctor.
That will prove to be true, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I've come to take you home. I'm sworn to keep the peace. You've shown yourself to be a wise physician, and Sir Hugh has shown himself to be a wise and patient priest. You must come with me, Master Doctor.
That's going to be true, Master Page. Now Doctor Caius, I'm here to take you home. I'm officially responsible for keeping the peace in this area. You've proven yourself to be a wise doctor, and Sir Hugh has proven to be a wise and patient priest. You need to come with me, Doctor.
come with me. you both been acting wise and patient. time to go home
Pardon, guest justice.—A word, Monsieur Mockwater.
Excuse me, guest officer of the peace. A word, Monsieur Bravado.
Wait a minute, sir justice—a word with you, Monsieur Bravado.
wait, i need a word with you
Mockvater? Vat is dat?
Bravado? What does that mean?
Bravado? What's that supposed to mean?
what's that mean?
Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
Bravado, in our English language, means courage, my friend.
Bravado, in plain English, means courage, buddy.
it means courage
By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog
priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
By God, then I have as much courage as any Englishman. You filthy, worthless priest! By God, I will cut his ears off.
By God, then I've got as much courage as any Englishman! You filthy, worthless priest! I swear I'll cut his ears off.
i got courage too. i'll cut his ears
He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
He will beat you up pretty well, my friend.
He's going to really beat you up, buddy.
he's gonna beat you
Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?
Beat me up? What do you mean?
Beat me up? I don't follow you.
beat me? what?
That is, he will make thee amends.
That is, he will settle the score with you.
I mean he'll get even with you.
he'll get even with you
By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar, me vill
have it.
By God, I do expect he will fight me, because, by God, I want it.
By God, I expect he's going to fight me, and I want him to!
bring it on
And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
And I will challenge him to do it, or I'll let him go on his way.
And I'll challenge him to do it, or I'll let him walk away.
i'll make him fight or let him leave
Me tank you for dat.
I thank you for that.
Much obliged to you for that.
thanks
Merry Wives is unusual in Shakespeare for its concentration of national comedy — a Welshman (Evans), a Frenchman (Caius), and the aggressively English Windsor community. Both Evans and Caius speak with marked accent-based comedy (Evans's 'b' for 'p,' Caius's 'gar' for 'God,' his 'd' for 'th'). Modern readers sometimes find this uncomfortable; Elizabethan audiences found it hilarious. But the play is careful not to make the foreigners simply foolish — Evans is actually the shrewdest character in the play's civic scenes, and Caius, for all his bluster, has genuine social standing. Their eventual alliance against the Host (a native Englishman) is a small subversive note: the two comic foreigners end up outsmarting the English trickster.
And, moreover, bully—but first, Master guest, and Master Page, and eke
Cavaliero Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE
And furthermore, my friend—but first, you three, Master guest, and Master Page, and also Cavalier Slender, go through the town to Frogmore.
And another thing, buddy—but first, you three go through town to Frogmore.
you three go to frogmore
[_Aside to Host_.] Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Is Sir Hugh already there?
hugh there?
[_Aside to Page_.] He is there. See what humour he is in; and I will
bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
He's there. See what mood he's in, and I'll bring the doctor around through the fields. Will that work?
He's there. Check what kind of mood he's in, and I'll bring the doctor around by way of the fields. Does that sound good?
he's there check his mood i'll bring doctor through fields work?
[_Aside to Host_.] We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW and SLENDER
Adieu, good Master Doctor.
We will do it. Farewell, good Master Doctor.
We're on it. Take care, Master Doctor.
we'll do it goodbye
By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a jackanape to Anne
Page.
I swear, I'll kill the priest, because he's advocating for a fool to Anne Page.
I'm telling you, I'm going to kill that priest—he's pushing some idiot for Anne Page.
gonna kill that priest he's pushing some fool at anne page
Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler. Go
about the fields with me through Frogmore. I will bring thee where
Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting, and thou shalt woo
her. Cried game! Said I well?
Let him go. Control your anger; calm yourself down. Walk with me through the fields to Frogmore. I will take you where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farmhouse having a feast, and you will court her. Didn't I solve this nicely? Did I figure it out?
Forget about him. Calm down and stop being so angry. Come walk with me through the fields to Frogmore. I'll take you to where Mistress Anne Page is celebrating at a farmhouse, and you can try to win her over. How's that? Did I solve this nicely?
chill. come with me to frogmore. i'll intro you to anne page. good plan?
By gar, me tank you for dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a
you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
patients.
By God, I thank you for that. By God, I love you; and I will bring you good guests: the nobles, the knights, the lords, the gentlemen, my patients.
By God, I thank you for that. By God, I love you, and I'll bring you fine guests—the nobles, the knights, all the gentleman patients I know.
thanks. i love you. i'll bring you rich patients
For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?
In return, I will compete with you for Anne Page's affection. Have I explained this well?
In exchange, I'll be your rival for Anne Page. Does that make sense?
i'll rival u for anne page. clear?
By gar, ’tis good; vell said.
By God, that's good; well said.
By God, that's perfect; well said.
perfect
Let us wag, then.
Let us go then.
Let's go then.
let's go
Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
Follow me, Jack Rugby.
Follow me, Jack.
follow me
The Reckoning
A short scene of pure farce that does two things at once: it shows the Host playing both sides in the Evans-Caius duel, and it plants the seed of revenge — when Evans and Caius eventually discover they were both sent to wrong locations, they'll team up against the Host. For now we just enjoy a furious French doctor waving his rapier at a man who refuses to fence.
If this happened today…
A manager sends two feuding employees to fight it out, but deliberately gives each a different conference room on different floors. Then he arrives to find one of them pacing furiously and says 'You handled that very professionally — let me take you for a drink.' Neither of them realizes they were played.