I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman, and friend Simple by
your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
himself doctor of physic?
I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?
i pray you now, good master slender’s servingman, and friend simple by your name, which way have you looked for master caius, that calls himself doctor of physic?
i pray you now, good master slender’s servingman,
Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, every way; old Windsor way,
and every way but the town way.
Well, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.
well, sir, the petty-ward, the park-ward, every way; old windsor way, and every way but the town way.
well, sir, the petty-ward, the park-ward, every wa
I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.
I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.
i most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.
i most fehemently desire you, you will also look t
I will, Sir.
I will, Sir.
i will, sir.
i will, sir.
The songs Evans sings are a deliberate literary joke. 'Come Live With Me and Be My Love' was Christopher Marlowe's most famous pastoral poem — published 1599, the same year Merry Wives was written, and already one of the most recognized love poems in England. Evans is a Welsh parson; Marlowe's poem is a pagan celebration of erotic pleasure in nature. The collision is perfect. But Shakespeare adds another layer: Evans can't stay on the poem. His fear keeps breaking through with psalm fragments ('Whenas I sat in Babylon' — Psalm 137, the lamenting exile by the waters of Babylon), which is exactly wrong thematically but completely right emotionally. A frightened man who is about to be killed reaches for both his sacred and his secular comfort simultaneously and muddles them together. The comedy is also the portrait.
He’s welcome.
He’s welcome.
he’s welcome.
he’s welcome.
No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another
gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
no weapons, sir. there comes my master, master shallow, and another gentleman, from frogmore, over the stile, this way.
no weapons, sir. there comes my master, master sha
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it in your arms.
Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it in your arms.
pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it in your arms.
pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it in your
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
God save you, good Sir Hugh!
god save you, good sir hugh!
god save you, good sir hugh!
God pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
God pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
god pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
god pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
What, the sword and the word? Do you study them both, Master Parson?
What, the sword and the word? Do you study them both, Master Parson?
what, the sword and the word? do you study them both, master parson?
what, the sword and the word? do you study them bo
The Host's confession speech (3-1-071) is the fullest expression of his character: he lists his reasons for saving both Evans and Caius ('he gives me the potions,' 'he gives me the proverbs') with the casual logic of a man who manages people as assets. He's not apologizing; he's explaining. And the explanation is that he kept them alive because they are useful to him. This is the logic of the professional host — everyone in his orbit is there because they serve a function, and his job is to keep the function running. The brilliant touch is that both Evans and Caius accept this instantly ('Ay, dat is very good; excellent') because the Host has such confidence in his own authority that his victims thank him for the manipulation.
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?
And youthful still—in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?
and youthful still—in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?
and youthful still—in your doublet and hose, this
There is reasons and causes for it.
There is reasons and causes for it.
there is reasons and causes for it.
there is reasons and causes for it.
We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.
We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.
we are come to you to do a good office, master parson.
we are come to you to do a good office, master par
Fery well; what is it?
Fery well; what is it?
fery well; what is it?
fery well; what is it?
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike having received wrong
by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that
ever you saw.
over there is a most reverend gentleman who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.
over there is a most reverend gentleman who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.
over there is a most reverend gentleman who, belike ha
I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his
place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
i have lived fourscore years and upward; i never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
i have lived fourscore years and upward; i never h
What is he?
What is he?
what is he?
what is he?
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French
physician.
I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.
i think you know him: master doctor caius, the renowned french physician.
i think you know him: master doctor caius, the ren
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me
of a mess of porridge.
Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
got’s will and his passion of my heart! i had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
got’s will and his passion of my heart! i had as l
Why?
Why?
why?
why?
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and Galen, and he is a knave
besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates and Galen, and he is a knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
he has no more knowledge in hibbocrates and galen, and he is a knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
he has no more knowledge in hibbocrates and galen,
I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
i warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
i warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder. Here comes Doctor
Caius.
It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
it appears so by his weapons. keep them asunder. here comes doctor caius.
it appears so by his weapons. keep them asunder. h
So do you, good Master Doctor.
So do you, good Master Doctor.
so do you, good master doctor.
so do you, good master doctor.
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their limbs whole and
hack our English.
Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
disarm them, and let them question. let them keep their limbs whole and hack our english.
disarm them, and let them question. let them keep
I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore will you not
meet-a me?
I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore will you not meet-a me?
i pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. verefore will you not meet-a me?
i pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. v
It takes Evans and Caius less than thirty seconds of stage time to go from mortal enemies preparing to fight a duel to best friends planning collective revenge. This speed isn't a failure of character psychology — it's a feature of Windsor's social world. In a small community, permanent enmity is too expensive; the better strategy is rapid alliance shifts. The same characters who compete for Anne Page's hand are drinking together in the next scene. The fluidity of Windsor's social bonds is what makes the Falstaff plot possible — nobody stays rigid. The exception, pointedly, is Ford, whose jealousy resists all the community's natural social flexibility.
By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.
By gar, you are the coward, the Jack dog, John ape.
by gar, you are the coward, the jack dog, john ape.
by gar, you are the coward, the jack dog, john ape
men’s humours. I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other
make you amends.
men’s humours. I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends.
men’s humours. i desire you in friendship, and i will one way or other make you amends.
men’s humours. i desire you in friendship, and i w
_Diable!_ Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer, have I not stay for him to
kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?
_Diable!_ Jack Rugby, mine Host the Jarteer, have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at the place I did appoint?
_diable!_ jack rugby, mine host the jarteer, have i not stay for him to kill him? have i not, at the place i did appoint?
_diable!_ jack rugby, mine host the jarteer, have
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this is the place appointed.
I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
as i am a christians soul, now look you, this is the place appointed. i’ll be judgment by mine host of the garter.
as i am a christians soul, now look you, this is t
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and
body-curer!
Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer!
peace, i say, gallia and gaul, french and welsh, soul-curer and body-curer!
peace, i say, gallia and gaul, french and welsh, s
Ay, dat is very good; excellent.
Yes, dat is very good; excellent.
yes, dat is very good; excellent.
yes, dat is very good; excellent.
Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? Am I subtle?
Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions
and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No, he
gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. [_To Caius_.] Give me thy hand,
terrestrial; so. [_To Evans_.] Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of
art, I have deceived you both. I have directed you to wrong places.
Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the
issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace,
follow, follow, follow.
Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? will I lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and the motions. will I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. [_To Caius_.] Give me your hand, terrestrial; so. [_To Evans_.] Give me your hand, celestial; so. Boys of are, I have deceived you both. I have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
peace, i say! hear mine host of the garter. am i politic? am i subtle? am i a machiavel? will i lose my doctor? no, he gives me the potions and the motions. will i lose my parson, my priest, my sir hugh? no, he gives me the proverbs and the no-verbs. [_to caius_.] give me your hand, terrestrial; so. [_to evans_.] give me your hand, celestial; so. boys of are, i have deceived you both. i have directed you to wrong places. your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. come, lay their swords to pawn. follow me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
peace, i say! hear mine host of the garter. am i p
Afore God, a mad host! Follow, gentlemen, follow.
Afore God, a mad host! Follow, gentlemen, follow.
afore god, a mad host! follow, gentlemen, follow.
afore god, a mad host! follow, gentlemen, follow.
CAIUS
Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?
CAIUS Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?
caius ha, do i perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha? or something?
caius ha, do i perceive dat? have you ma
This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that we
may be friends, and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on
this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that we may be friends, and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
this is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. i desire you that we may be friends, and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the garter.
this is well, he has made us his vlouting-stog. i
By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page;
by gar, he deceive me too.
By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page; by God, he theceive me too.
by gar, with all my heart. he promise to bring me where is anne page; by god, he theceive me too.
by gar, with all my heart. he promise to bring me
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
well, i will smite his noddles. pray you follow.
well, i will smite his noddles. pray you follow.
The Reckoning
The most literary comedy in the play: Evans is so frightened he can't remember which song he's singing, and the song that keeps breaking through is Marlowe's 'Come Live With Me and Be My Love' — the most famous erotic pastoral of the age. A clergyman quoting a pagan love poem while preparing for a duel he doesn't want, interrupting it with psalm fragments, then resuming the love poem — it's Shakespeare's most perfect image of a man whose mind is doing something his dignity would never permit.
If this happened today…
Imagine a vicar waiting for a street fight he was tricked into, and while he paces, he can't stop himself humming Taylor Swift — then catching himself and switching to a hymn — then drifting back to Taylor Swift. That's Evans. The Host's confession ('I have deceived you both') is delivered with such breezy satisfaction that it's impossible to be angry at him.