I will not lend thee a penny.
I will not lend you a penny.
I'm not lending you a single penny.
nope not happening o penny 4 u
Why then, the world’s mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open.
Well then, the world is mine to enjoy, which I'll open with my sword.
Well, then the world is my oyster, and I'll crack it open with my sword.
worlds mine im gonna take it w sword
Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to
pawn; I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you
and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had looked through the grate
like a gemini of baboons. I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen
my friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows. And when Mistress
Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took ’t upon mine honour thou
hadst it not.
Not a penny. I've already damaged my own reputation by letting you pledge my word; I've had to beg favors from my good friends three separate times to bail out you and your friend Nym, or you'd be locked up like a pair of monkeys in a cage. I've doomed myself to hell by swearing to gentlemen friends of mine that you were decent soldiers and brave men. When Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I swore on my honor to her that you didn't take it.
Not a penny, man. I've already ruined my own reputation for you. I've had to grovel to my good friends three times to save you and Nym from prison—otherwise you'd both be locked up like a couple of apes. I'm going straight to hell for telling my gentleman friends that you're good soldiers and stand-up guys. And when Mistress Bridget lost her fan handle, I actually swore on my honor that you had nothing to do with it.
not 1 penny i already ruined my rep 4 u bailed u & nym out 3x im going 2 hell 4 this swore u didnt steal that fan
Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen pence?
Didn't you get your share? Didn't you get fifteen pence?
Didn't you get a cut? Didn't you get fifteen pence?
u got ur share tho right? u got 15 pence
Reason, you rogue, reason. Think’st thou I’ll endanger my soul gratis?
At a word, hang no more about me, I am no gibbet for you. Go—a short
knife and a throng—to your manor of Pickt-hatch, go. You’ll not bear a
letter for me, you rogue? You stand upon your honour! Why, thou
unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the terms of
my honour precise. Ay, ay, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God
on the left hand, and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to
shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your
rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your
bold beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do
it! You!
Think logically, you rogue. Do you really think I'll risk my soul to save you for nothing? Quite simply, stop hanging around me—I'm no scaffold for you to use. Go to your criminal den with your knife and your gang, just go. You won't even deliver a letter for me, you rogue? And you claim to have honor! Why, you worthless creature, I can barely keep my own honor intact by my fingertips. Yes, even I sometimes have to ignore my conscience, compromise my honor, and resort to tricks and scheming just to survive. And yet you, rogue, you dress up your rags, your rough street looks, your criminal speech, and your swaggering oaths in talk of honor! You simply won't do it—you won't risk yourself!
Listen to me, you rogue—think this through logically. You actually think I'd risk going to hell to save your skin for nothing? Let me be direct: stop hanging onto me. I'm not your gallows. Get out of here and go back to your criminal hangout with your knife and your gang. You won't even deliver a simple letter for me, you rogue? And you talk about having honor? You pathetic lowlife—I can barely keep my own honor together, let alone worry about yours. I mean, even I slip sometimes. I put God aside and hide my honor whenever I need to just to get by, using tricks and schemes. But you—you patch together your torn clothes, your street thug look, your criminal slang, and your big swaggering lies, and you wrap it all up in talk of honor? Come on! You absolutely will not do it!
think about it rogue u want me 2 risk my soul 4 nothing? stop hanging on me im not ur gallows go back 2 ur criminal place u wont even carry a letter 4 me? u aint got honor im barely keeping mine together trying 2 survive stop dressing up ur rags in honor talk
I do relent. What wouldst thou more of man?
I give in. What more would you want from a man?
I give up. What else do you want from me?
ok i give up what more do u want
Sir, here’s a woman would speak with you.
Sir, there's a woman here who would like to speak with you.
Sir, there's a woman outside who wants to talk to you.
sir theres a woman here wants 2 talk 2 u
Let her approach.
Let her approach.
let her approach.
let her approach.
Give your worship good morrow.
Good morning to your honor.
Good morning to you, sir.
good morning
Good morrow, goodwife.
Good morrow, goodwife.
good morrow, goodwife.
good morrow, goodwife.
Not so, an’t please your worship.
If you don't mind, I'm not quite a traditional goodwife.
If you don't mind, not really—I'm not that kind of wife.
not exactly im not that kind of wife
Good maid, then.
Good maid, then.
good maid, then.
good maid, then.
I’ll be sworn, as my mother was, the first hour I was born.
I swear to it, just as my mother did from the first hour I was born.
I swear to it, the way my mother swore—from the moment I was born.
i swear to it like my mom did from birth
I do believe the swearer. What with me?
I believe you're sincere. What do you want from me?
I trust you. What's on your mind?
ok i believe you what do you need?
Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?
May I offer your honor a word or two?
Can I say something to you, sir?
can i say something
Two thousand, fair woman; and I’ll vouchsafe thee the hearing.
Two thousand words, beautiful woman, and I'll give you my complete attention.
Two thousand words, my dear—and I'm all ears.
tell me two thousand things i'm listening
Falstaff's soliloquy after Quickly leaves (2-2-046) is a masterclass in motivated reasoning. He talks to his own body as if it were a loyal old horse: 'Will they yet look after thee?' He knows he is old, fat, and broke. He knows the flattery is probably Quickly's professional lubricant. He knows none of this makes any sense. And he proceeds anyway — because the alternative is confronting the gap between who he imagines himself to be and who he actually is. Shakespeare never makes Falstaff stupid; he makes him brilliant at not quite letting himself think. The self-awareness flickers at the edges ('Setting the attraction of my good parts aside') only to be immediately suppressed. This is what makes him pathetic and lovable simultaneously.
There is one Mistress Ford, sir—I pray, come a little nearer this ways.
I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius.
There is a woman named Mistress Ford, sir. Please come closer. I myself live with Doctor Caius.
There's this woman, Mistress Ford, sir—come a little closer. I actually work for Doctor Caius.
theres mistress ford come closer i work 4 doctor caius
Well, on; Mistress Ford, you say—
Go on—you're saying Mistress Ford—
Right, so about Mistress Ford—
keep going about mistress ford?
Your worship says very true. I pray your worship come a little nearer
this ways.
You're quite right, sir. I ask that you come a little closer.
Exactly, sir. Come closer, please.
ur right come closer
I warrant thee, nobody hears. Mine own people, mine own people.
I assure you, nobody can hear us. They're all my own servants.
Don't worry, nobody's listening. They're all my people.
dont worry nobodys listening they're all mine
Are they so? God bless them, and make them His servants!
Is that so? May God bless them and make them serve Him!
Really? God bless them, and I hope they serve him well!
god bless them and let them serve god
Well, Mistress Ford, what of her?
So what about Mistress Ford?
What about her then?
tell me about mistress ford what's her deal?
Why, sir, she’s a good creature. Lord, Lord, your worship’s a wanton!
Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray!
She's a good woman, sir. My, my, your honor is quite lustful! Well, I pray heaven forgives you and all of us!
She's a fine woman, sir. Oh my, you're quite the flirt, aren't you! Well, I hope heaven forgives you and all of us!
shes good u r such a flirt hope god forgives u all
Mistress Ford, come, Mistress Ford.
Mistress Ford, come here, Mistress Ford.
Come on, Mrs. Ford.
yo ford get over here
Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you have brought her into
such a canaries as ’tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when
the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a
canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with
their coaches, I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter,
gift after gift, smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so rushling, I
warrant you, in silk and gold, and in such alligant terms, and in such
wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would have won any
woman’s heart; and I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of
her. I had myself twenty angels given me this morning, but I defy all
angels in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of honesty. And, I
warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the
proudest of them all. And yet there has been earls—nay, which is more,
pensioners—but, I warrant you, all is one with her.
Listen, here's the situation: You've gotten her into such a state of desire that it's amazing. Even the best courtier at Windsor Court couldn't have done it. There have been knights, lords, and gentlemen with their coaches—coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift—smelling of musk, all that silk and gold and fancy words, and the finest wine and sugar, enough to win any woman's heart. But they never got even the smallest sign from her. This very morning someone gave me twenty gold coins, but I reject all such money-based assistance—I'm an honest woman. And they could never even get her to take a sip from a cup with any of them, even the proudest. There have even been earls—even better, royal attendants—but it's all the same to her.
Okay, here's the deal: You've gotten her interested to the point that it's crazy. The most charming courtier at Windsor couldn't have done it. Knights, lords, gentlemen—all showing up with carriages, one after another, sending letters, giving gifts, smelling like expensive perfume, showing off in silk and gold, using fancy language, bringing the best wine and sugar—any of that would make most women melt. But she hasn't given them a single look. Someone offered me twenty gold coins just this morning, but I'm not for sale—I keep my dignity. They couldn't even get her to share a drink with any of them, not even the most important ones. There have been actual earls, even people from the royal household, but none of it matters to her.
so these guys kings lords gentlemen all sending coaches letters gifts expensive stuff silks gold wine trying 2 win her she never even looks at them gave me 20 coins im not helping u seduce her no one can get to her
But what says she to me? Be brief, my good she-Mercury.
But what does she say about me? Be brief, my excellent female messenger.
But what does she say about me? Give it to me straight, my good messenger.
but what about me whats she say be quick about it
Marry, she hath received your letter, for the which she thanks you a
thousand times; and she gives you to notify that her husband will be
absence from his house between ten and eleven.
Indeed, she received your letter and thanks you a thousand times. She wants you to know that her husband will be away from home between ten and eleven.
She got your letter and thanks you a thousand times for it. And she's letting you know that her husband will be out of the house between ten and eleven.
she got ur letter thanks u 1000x her husbands out 10-11
Ten and eleven?
Ten and eleven?
ten and eleven?
ten and eleven?
Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that
you wot of. Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas, the
sweet woman leads an ill life with him. He’s a very jealousy man; she
leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.
Yes indeed; and then you can come see that picture you know about. Her husband Master Ford will be away. Poor thing, the sweet woman has a miserable life with him. He's terribly jealous; she lives a very difficult life with him, the good heart.
Yes, and you can come see that picture you want. Her husband will be out. Poor woman—she has such a hard time with him. He's extremely jealous; she just suffers with him, poor dear.
yep u can see the pic her husband ford gone shes unhappy he super jealous she struggles w him
Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to her; I will not fail her.
Between ten and eleven. Woman, give her my regards. I won't disappoint her.
Ten to eleven works. Tell her I send my love—and I won't let her down.
10 to 11 tell her i'm coming won't let her down
Why, you say well. But I have another messenger to your worship.
Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too; and let me tell
you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one, I tell
you, that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in
Windsor, whoe’er be the other; and she bade me tell your worship that
her husband is seldom from home, but she hopes there will come a time.
I never knew a woman so dote upon a man. Surely I think you have
charms, la! Yes, in truth.
Well, I have another message for your honor. Mistress Page sends her warm regards to you too. Let me tell you confidentially that she's as virtuous and respectable a wife as anyone in Windsor, whoever else there might be. She never misses her morning or evening prayers. She asked me to tell your honor that her husband is rarely away from home, but she hopes there will come a time. I've never seen a woman so devoted to a man. You must have some kind of charm, I swear. Yes, truly.
Also, I have another woman who wants you to know about her. Mistress Page sends you her best wishes too. And between you and me, she's one of the most respectable, honest, good women in Windsor—truly, she never skips her prayers, morning or night. She wanted me to tell you that her husband doesn't leave home much, but she's hoping that changes. I've never seen a woman so crazy about a man. You must have some special appeal, I'm telling you. Yes, for real.
also mistress page says hi from her shes good & respectable never misses prayers her husband never leaves but maybe someday? she cant stop thinking about u u got magic or something
Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I
have no other charms.
Not me, I assure you. Apart from the appeal of my good qualities, I have no other charms.
Not me, I promise you. Besides the fact that I'm naturally charming, I don't have any other magic tricks.
nah not me im just naturally great no magic
Blessing on your heart for ’t!
Blessings on your heart for saying that!
God bless you for your modesty!
god bless u
But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife and Page’s wife
acquainted each other how they love me?
But tell me this, please: have Ford's wife and Page's wife told each other how much they love me?
But I need to know: have these two women told each other how much they both love me?
wait do ford's wife & page's wife know each other loves me
That were a jest indeed! They have not so little grace, I hope. That
were a trick indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her
your little page, of all loves. Her husband has a marvellous infection
to the little page; and, truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a
wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does. Do what she will,
say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise
when she list, all is as she will, and truly she deserves it, for if
there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your
page, no remedy.
That would be quite ridiculous! I hope they have better sense than that. That would be a terrible trick! But Mistress Page would like you to send her your young page servant, for all the world. Her husband has a remarkable attachment to the young page, and Master Page is an honest man. No wife in Windsor has a better life than she does. She does what she wants, says what she wants, takes everything, pays everything, goes to bed when she wishes, rises when she wishes—everything is as she wants it. She truly deserves it, for if there's a kind woman in Windsor, she's one. You must send her your page, there's no way around it.
That would be hilarious! No, they're smarter than that. That would be a dirty trick! But Mistress Page wants one thing from you—send her your young page servant. Her husband is really attached to the boy, and Master Page is actually a decent guy. No wife in Windsor has it better than she does. She does whatever she wants, says whatever she wants, controls all the money, goes to bed and gets up whenever she pleases—everything is her way. She really deserves it too, because if anyone's kind, it's her. You have to send her that page—no excuses.
haha they wouldnt tell each other that would b crazy but mistress page wants ur page boy her husband likes the kid page is good guy she got the best life does whatever she wants kind woman u gotta send that boy
Ford's closing soliloquy is the most psychologically precise speech in the play. He lists all the stereotypically untrustworthy groups — Dutchmen, Welshmen, Irishmen — as people he'd trust sooner than his own wife. But Mistress Ford has done nothing to deserve this suspicion; the irony is that her husband's jealousy is what makes her plan to humiliate Falstaff possible. She's teaching Falstaff a lesson, but in the process she'll have to deceive her own husband — which will confirm his worst fears, at least temporarily. Ford's jealousy creates the very comic catastrophe he's trying to prevent. The pattern is clinically accurate to how jealousy actually works.
Why, I will.
Why, I will.
why, i will.
why, i will.
Nay, but do so then, and, look you, he may come and go between you
both; and in any case have a nay-word, that you may know one another’s
mind, and the boy never need to understand anything; for ’tis not good
that children should know any wickedness. Old folks, you know, have
discretion, as they say, and know the world.
Yes, but do it then. Look, the boy can go back and forth between you both; and in any case have a secret signal or code word so you can understand each other's intentions, and the boy will never need to know anything about it. Because it's not good for children to know about wickedness. Older people, as they say, have better judgment and understand how the world works.
Okay, but really do it, and listen—the boy can carry messages back and forth between you two. Just come up with a secret code word so you know what each other means, and the kid doesn't need to understand anything. It's better that way—children shouldn't know about this kind of thing. Us older folks have sense and understand how things really work.
do it then use the boy 2 carry messages have a secret code kid dont need 2 know anything kids shouldnt know this stuff we older ppl got sense
Fare thee well, commend me to them both. There’s my purse; I am yet thy
debtor. Boy, go along with this woman.—This news distracts me.
Goodbye, give them my regards. Here's my purse; I still owe you. Boy, go with this woman now. This news has me completely distracted.
Farewell, tell them I send my best. Take my purse—you've done me a favor I owe you for. Boy, go with her now. This has got me spinning.
bye give them my regards here take money i owe u but go this is crazy im spinning
This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers;
Clap on more sails, pursue; up with your fights;
Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!
This disreputable woman is one of Cupid's messengers. Set more sails and chase after her; ready the weapons. Attack! She is my treasure, or may the ocean swallow us all!
This woman works for Cupid delivering love messages. Full speed ahead, let's pursue her; weapons ready! Attack! She's my prize, or the ocean can drown us!
shes cupids messenger lets chase her weapons ready fire shes mine or we all drown
Sayst thou so, old Jack? Go thy ways, I’ll make more of thy old body
than I have done. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the
expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let
them say ’tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.
So that's what you're saying, old Jack? Very well—I'll make better use of this aging body than I have so far. Will they still want me? After all this money spent, will I actually profit? Good body, I thank you. Let them say it's done crudely; as long as it works out, that's what matters.
Is that so, Jack? Alright then—I'll get more out of this old body than I have been. Will they still want me? After spending all this cash, will I actually come out ahead? Thanks, body. People can say it's done rough; I only care that it works.
alright old body time to earn more. ladies still want me? gonna profit? don't care if it's crude long as it works
Sir John, there’s one Master Brook below would fain speak with you and
be acquainted with you, and hath sent your worship a morning’s draught
of sack.
Sir John, there's a Master Brook downstairs who would very much like to speak with you and get to know you, and he's sent you a morning drink of wine.
Sir John, there's a Master Brook downstairs who really wants to meet you and talk with you, and he's sent you a drink of wine.
sir john theres a master brook downstairs wants to meet u sent u a drink of wine
Brook is his name?
So the fellow's name is Brook?
His name's Brook?
his name brook?
Ay, sir.
Yes, sir.
yes, sir.
yes, sir.
Call him in.
Call him in.
call him in.
call him in.
Such Brooks are welcome to me, that o’erflow such liquor. Ah, ha,
Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed you? Go to, _via!_
Such Brooks who overflow with such liquor are welcome to me. Ah, ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I surrounded you? Let's go!
I welcome Brooks who come loaded with liquor like that. Ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I got you both? Let's do this!
welcome brooks w/ liquor ah ha mistress ford & page got u both lets go
God bless you, sir.
I wish you God's blessings, sir.
Bless you, sir.
god bless u sir
And you, sir. Would you speak with me?
And you too, sir. Do you wish to speak with me?
And hello to you, sir. What did you want to talk about?
hey sir what's up?
I make bold to press with so little preparation upon you.
I'm being bold enough to press toward you with so little preparation.
I'm boldly showing up without any warning.
im showing up no warning
You’re welcome. What’s your will?—Give us leave, drawer.
You're welcome. What do you want? Leave us, bartender.
You're welcome. What can I do for you? Bartender, give us privacy.
welcome what u want leave us bartender
The disguise name is significant: Ford chooses 'Brook' — a stream, something that flows, that can't be dammed. It's a name that suggests freedom and movement, everything Ford doesn't feel in his marriage. More darkly, a brook is a conduit for water Falstaff has already joked will 'overflow' — Ford is offering himself as the channel through which adultery will flow. The character who invents a disguise to spy on his own wife, and then pays the seducer to confirm his fears, is not a jealous husband protecting his honor; he's someone who needs the betrayal to be real. His psychology is remarkably modern: the jealous person who both dreads and craves confirmation.
Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much. My name is Brook.
Sir, I am a gentleman of considerable means. My name is Brook.
Sir, I'm a gentleman with money to spend. My name is Brook.
im a gentleman w/ money my name is brook
Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.
Good Master Brook, I'd like to know you better.
Master Brook, I'd love to get to know you better.
brook wanna know u better
Good Sir John, I sue for yours; not to charge you, for I must let you
understand I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are,
the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion;
for they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.
Good Sir John, I'm asking for your friendship, not to burden you. I must let you understand that I think I'm in a better position to lend money than you are, which has somewhat encouraged me to make this poorly-timed visit. Because they say when money comes first, all ways are open to you.
Sir John, I'm looking to be friends with you, not to ask you for money. I should tell you that I actually think I'm better positioned to give loans than you are, which is why I had the nerve to show up without calling ahead. Because money opens all doors, they say.
im looking 2 b ur friend not ask u 4 money im actually richer than u so i got guts 2 show up money opens doors right
Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
Money is an excellent soldier, sir, and it keeps fighting.
Money's the best soldier there is, sir—it keeps advancing.
moneys a good soldier keeps fighting
Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me. If you will help to
bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.
Honestly, I have a bag of money here that's causing me trouble. If you'll help carry it, Sir John, take all of it or half of it for relieving me of the burden.
Truth is, I've got a bag of money that's weighing on me. If you'll help carry it, Sir John, just take some or all of it—I'd be grateful for the help.
got money here its heavy help me carry it take half or all im so tired
Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.
Sir, I don't know how I could deserve to be your servant.
Sir, I don't know what I did to deserve being your servant.
i dont deserve 2 b ur servant
I will tell you, sir, if you will give me the hearing.
I'll tell you, sir, if you'll listen to me.
I'll explain, sir, if you'll hear me out.
ill tell u if u listen
Speak, good Master Brook. I shall be glad to be your servant.
Speak, good Master Brook. I'll be happy to be your servant.
Go ahead, Master Brook. I'm all yours.
tell me brook im ur man
Sir, I hear you are a scholar—I will be brief with you—and you have
been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means as desire
to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you,
wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection. But, good Sir
John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded,
turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a
reproof the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to be such an
offender.
Sir, I hear you're an educated man—I'll be brief with you—and you're someone I've known for a long time, though I never had the opportunity or courage to become friends with you. I'm going to reveal something to you that requires me to expose my own weakness. But good Sir John, as you listen to my failings unfold, please examine your own heart too, so that I can accept your judgment more easily, since you yourself know how simple it is to become such a fool yourself.
Sir, I'm told you're a scholar—I'll keep this short—and I've known who you are for years, though I never had the guts or the chance to actually get to know you. I'm going to tell you something that's embarrassing to admit. But Sir John, listen to my mistakes and while you judge me, look at your own heart too, because honestly, you know how easy it is to become a fool like me.
ur smart i heard i know u long time wanna tell u something its embarrassing but when u judge me look at urself 2 u know how easy its 2 be a fool
Very well, sir, proceed.
Very well, sir, continue.
Alright, sir, go ahead.
ok go on
There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband’s name is Ford.
I must speak to you about a certain gentlewoman in this town—her husband is a man called Ford.
There's a woman in this town—her husband's name is Ford.
theres a woman here her husbands ford
Well, sir.
Well, sir.
well, sir.
well, sir.
I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her,
followed her with a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to meet
her, fee’d every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight
of her, not only bought many presents to give her, but have given
largely to many to know what she would have given. Briefly, I have
pursued her as love hath pursued me, which hath been on the wing of all
occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind or in my
means, meed, I am sure, I have received none, unless experience be a
jewel. That I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught
me to say this:
Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues,
Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.
I have long loved her and, I swear to you, spent a lot on her, followed her with devoted attention, grabbed every small chance to see her, paid people just for a glimpse of her, not only bought her many presents but gave money to others to find out what she wanted. Basically, I've pursued her the way love has pursued me, which has been constantly. But no matter what I've done, whether with my mind or my money, I've received nothing in return, except the lesson that experience teaches. That lesson has cost me dearly, and it has taught me this: When you chase after real love, love runs away, But if you stop chasing, love runs after you.
I've been in love with her for a long time and, honestly, I've spent a fortune on her. I've been devoted to her, made sure I'd run into her, paid people just to get a glimpse of her, bought her lots of gifts, paid others to find out what she wanted. Basically, I've chased after her the way love has chased me—constantly. But nothing has worked. No matter what I've offered—my attention, my money—I've gotten nothing back except hard lessons. Those lessons have been expensive, and here's what I've learned: When you pursue real love, love runs away, But when you stop chasing, love comes your way.
ive loved her long spent money on her followed her everywhere paid 4 glimpses bought gifts paid ppl 2 help nothing works no response learned expensive lesson love runs when u chase love comes when u stop
Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands?
Has she given you no promise of returning your feelings?
Has she given you any hope at all?
she give u any hope?
Never.
Never.
never.
never.
Have you importuned her to such a purpose?
Have you pressed your feelings on her like this?
Have you actually told her how you feel?
u tell her how u feel?
Never.
Never.
never.
never.
Of what quality was your love, then?
What kind of love was it then, if you never even told her?
So what kind of love is that, if she doesn't even know about it?
what kinda love is that if she dont even know
The scene opens with Pistol's famous declaration — 'The world's mine oyster' — delivered as a response to being refused money. But within the same scene, Pistol has completely abandoned his principled refusal (I-2-2-007: 'I do relent. What wouldst thou more of man?') and by 2-2-044 he's using extravagant naval metaphors to cheer Falstaff's scheme on. His 'honor' lasted approximately three minutes of stage time. This is Shakespeare's comment on the honor codes that characters like Pistol and Nym deploy: they are not principles but negotiating positions. The great line was coined in the service of theft, and the principles evaporated when they became inconvenient.
Like a fair house built on another man’s ground, so that I have lost my
edifice by mistaking the place where I erected it.
Like a beautiful house built on someone else's land—I've lost my whole building because I put it in the wrong place.
Like building a beautiful house on someone else's land—I've lost everything because I built in the wrong spot.
like a nice house on someone elses land i lost it all built in wrong place
To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?
Why are you telling me all this?
What's the point of telling me all this?
y u telling me
When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say that though
she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so
far that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here
is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding,
admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and
person, generally allowed for your many warlike, courtlike, and learned
preparations.
When I've told you that, I've told you everything. Some people say that although she seems faithful to me, she goes out and acts so cheerfully in other places that it raises suspicious questions about her behavior. Now, Sir John, here's what I really want: you're a gentleman of excellent manners, impressive conversation skills, well-accepted everywhere, powerful and recognized in your position and authority, generally known for your many impressive military, courtly, and educated accomplishments.
That's basically all of it. Some people say that even though she acts proper with me, she goes out and has way too much fun in public—people are starting to wonder about her reputation. Now, Sir John, here's what I want: you're a refined gentleman, you're good company, everybody respects you, you have power and standing, and you're famous for being sophisticated, well-mannered, and educated.
thats it people say shes acting 2 happy in public questions about her here what i want ur refined gentleman everybody respects u u got power standing famous 4 being sophisticated
O, sir!
O, sir!
o, sir!
o, sir!
Believe it, for you know it. There is money. Spend it, spend it; spend
more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange
of it as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife.
Use your art of wooing, win her to consent to you. If any man may, you
may as soon as any.
Believe it, because you know you're impressive. There is money. Spend it, keep spending, spend more, spend all I have. I only ask that you give me some of your time in exchange for this money—just charm your way into Ford's wife's bed. Use your skills to win her over. If any man can seduce her, you can do it better than anyone.
Take my word for it—you know how impressive you are. I have money. Take it, spend it, spend more, take everything I have. All I want in return is for you to seduce Ford's wife. Use your charm and skill to win her over to your bed. If anyone can do it, you can.
take my word u r impressive i got money spend it all just seduce fords wife 4 me use ur charm win her over u can do it
Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I should
win what you would enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very
preposterously.
Would it really fit with how much you love her that I should win her and you'd enjoy the results? It seems to me you're being very illogical about this.
Hold on—if you love her so much, why would you want me to sleep with her and then have you enjoy that? That doesn't make sense.
wait if u love her why want me 2 sleep w her then u enjoy it that makes no sense
O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her
honour that the folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too
bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any
detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend
themselves. I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her
reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which
now are too too strongly embattled against me. What say you to’t, Sir
John?
You don't understand what I'm saying. She's so secure in her virtue that I'm too ashamed to express my feelings; she's too bright to even look at. Now, if I could come to her having already seduced her, then my feelings would have proof and support. I could then pull her away from her pride in her virtue, her reputation, her marriage vows, and all her other defenses, which right now are too strongly fortified against me. What do you say to that, Sir John?
No, you're not getting it. She's so confident in her goodness that I'm too embarrassed to even try. She's too pure to look at. But if I could show up having already seduced her, then my feelings would have a real chance. Then I could break through her confidence in her virtue, her reputation, her marriage, and all her protections that are currently blocking me. What do you think about that?
u dont get it shes 2 sure of herself im 2 embarrassed shes 2 pure but if i could show u already got her then my chance is real i could break thru her defenses her reputation her marriage vows all protecting her
Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me
your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy
Ford’s wife.
Master Brook, first I'll confidently take your money; second, give me your hand in agreement; and third, I swear on my honor as a gentleman, if you wish, you'll have Ford's wife.
Master Brook, first I'm taking your money—no shame in that. Second, shake my hand. And third, I give you my word as a gentleman, you're going to get Ford's wife if you want her.
brook im taking ur money first shake my hand i swear as gentleman ul get fords wife if u want her
O good sir!
O good sir!
o good sir!
o good sir!
I say you shall.
I'm telling you, you will get her.
You're going to get her—I promise.
u will get her i promise
Want no money, Sir John; you shall want none.
Don't lack for money, Sir John; you won't be short of it.
Don't worry about money, Sir John—you'll have plenty.
dont worry money ul have plenty
Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be
with her, I may tell you, by her own appointment; even as you came in
to me, her assistant or go-between parted from me. I say I shall be
with her between ten and eleven, for at that time the jealous rascally
knave her husband will be forth. Come you to me at night. You shall
know how I speed.
Don't worry about Mistress Ford, Master Brook—you'll have her. I'm going to be with her, I can tell you, by her own arrangement. Just as you came in, her messenger left me. I'm telling you I'll be with her between ten and eleven—that's when the jealous scoundrel her husband will be away. Come to me tonight. You'll know how it went.
Don't worry, Master Brook—you're going to get your Mistress Ford. I already have an appointment with her, actually. Right when you walked in, her messenger was just leaving. She's expecting me between ten and eleven—that's when her jealous husband will be out. Stop by tonight and I'll tell you how it goes.
dont worry bro i got this shes meeting me 10-11 come by tonight and i'll fill you in
I am blessed in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, sir?
I'm fortunate to know you. Do you know Ford, sir?
I'm lucky to know you. Do you know Ford, sir?
im lucky 2 know u u know ford
Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not. Yet I wrong him to call
him poor. They say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money, for
the which his wife seems to me well-favoured. I will use her as the key
of the cuckoldly rogue’s coffer, and there’s my harvest-home.
Curse him, that pathetic cuckold! I don't know him. Yet I'm wrong to call him poor. They say that jealous fool has loads of money, and that's why his wife seems attractive to me. I'll use her like a key to his money box, and that's my reward.
Damn him, that pathetic cuckold! I don't know him. Though I shouldn't call him poor—word is he's loaded with money, which makes his wife look pretty good to me. I'll use her like a key to his money chest, and that's my prize.
damn him pathetic cuckold dont know him but hes loaded so his wife looks good ill use her like key 2 his money thats my prize
I would you knew Ford, sir, that you might avoid him if you saw him.
I wish you knew what Ford looks like, so you could avoid him if you saw him.
I wish you knew what Ford looked like, so you could stay away from him.
wish u knew what ford looks like so u could avoid him
Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his
wits, I will awe him with my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o’er
the cuckold’s horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate
over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife. Come to me soon at
night. Ford’s a knave, and I will aggravate his style. Thou, Master
Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold. Come to me soon at night.
Curse that cheap, shabby rogue! I'll stare him down and intimidate him; I'll threaten him with my cudgel. It will hang over his head like a meteor over a cuckold's horns. Master Brook, you should know I'll dominate this common man, and you'll sleep with his wife. Come to me later tonight. I'll show Ford who's boss. Ford's a fool, and I'll make his shame even worse. You, Master Brook, will see him for the fool and cuckold he is. Come to me later tonight.
Damn that cheap crook! I'll stare him down and intimidate him. My stick will hang over his head like a meteor over his horns. Master Brook, I'm going to crush this peasant and you're going to get his wife. Come see me tonight. Ford's an idiot and I'm going to humiliate him. You'll see him for what he is—a fool and a cuckold. Come tonight.
damn cheap crook il stare him down my stick over his head im gonna crush peasant ul get his wife come 2night ford is idiot il humiliate him ul see him fooled
What a damned epicurean rascal is this! My heart is ready to crack with
impatience. Who says this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent to
him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought
this? See the hell of having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, my
coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; and I shall not only receive
this villanous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms,
and by him that does me this wrong. Terms, names! Amaimon sounds well;
Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils’ additions, the
names of fiends. But cuckold? Wittol? Cuckold? The devil himself hath
not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass; he will trust his wife,
he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter,
Parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitae
bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with
herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what
they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their
hearts but they will effect. God be praised for my jealousy! Eleven
o’clock the hour. I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on
Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I will about it. Better three hours too
soon than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold!
What a damned lustful rogue this is! My heart is about to burst with rage. Who would say this is unreasonable jealousy? My wife has sent to him, the time is set, the deal is done. Would anyone have thought this? Look at the disaster of having an unfaithful woman: my bed will be dishonored, my money will be stolen, my reputation will be destroyed. And I won't just receive this terrible wrong—I'll receive it with shameful names that he applies. Names and titles! Devil names sound all right; Satan sounds all right; other demon names sound all right. But 'cuckold'? 'Fool'? 'Cuckold'? The devil himself doesn't have a worse name. Page is an idiot, a careless idiot; he'll trust his wife without worry. I'd sooner trust a Flemish person with my butter, a Welsh person with my cheese, an Irish person with my liquor, or a thief with my horse, than trust my wife with herself. Then she plots, then she thinks, then she plans; and what they want in their hearts they will accomplish, they'll destroy themselves but they will accomplish it. God help me for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock is the time. I will stop this, expose my wife, get revenge on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. I'll get going. Better three hours too early than a minute too late. Damn, damn, damn! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold!
What a sick bastard this guy is! I'm about to explode with rage. Who's going to tell me this is crazy jealousy? My wife sent a message to him, the time is set, the deal is done. How could this happen? This is what happens when your wife cheats: my bed gets destroyed, my money gets stolen, my reputation gets ruined. And I don't just have to live with this betrayal—I have to live with the shame of being called names. Names and titles that demons have? Sure, those are scary. But 'cuckold'? 'Wittol'? Those are the worst names there are. Even the devil doesn't have worse ones. Page is an idiot who doesn't care; he'll just trust his wife. I'd sooner trust a Flemish guy with my butter, a Welsh guy with my cheese, an Irishman with my liquor, or a thief with my horse than trust my wife with herself. She plots, she thinks, she schemes. And if she wants something, she'll get it, even if it destroys her. Thank God for my jealousy! Eleven o'clock. I'm going to stop this, catch my wife, get revenge on Falstaff, and make fun of Page. Let's go. Better three hours too early than one minute too late. Damn! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold!
what sick bastard im about 2 explode my wife sent 2 him time is set deals done bed destroyed money stolen reputation ruined im cuckold im fool devil dont have worse name page is idiot trusts his wife im going 2 stop this detect her revenge on falstaff laugh at page 11 oclock better early than late cuckold cuckold cuckold
The Reckoning
This scene is a marvel of compounding irony: the audience watches a man pay his wife's would-be seducer to pursue her, while the seducer cheerfully insults that same man to his face. Ford walks out having funded his own humiliation, calling himself a cuckold before anything has happened. Meanwhile, Quickly — simultaneously working for both wives, all three suitors, and now apparently Falstaff — has set the machinery of the plot turning at full speed.
If this happened today…
Picture a jealous husband who, convinced his wife is cheating, creates a fake LinkedIn profile and cold-emails the guy he suspects, offering to pay him to 'test' his wife's loyalty. The guy takes the money, describes the exact appointment he already has, calls the husband a 'salt-butter rogue' while he's standing there under a fake name, and the husband nods along thinking he's very clever. That's this scene.