Mistress Page is the sharper wit of the two — her reading of Falstaff's letter is instant and devastating. Watch for how she frames the situation in terms of print runs and bulk production, making the insult systemic rather than personal.
What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and
am I now a subject for them? Let me see.
What, did I escape love letters during the prime of my beauty, and now I'm fair game for them? Let me look.
Wait, I managed to avoid love letters back when I was young and hot, and now I'm a target for them? Let me see.
wait i dodged love letters when i was cute now they're coming for me? lol let me check
[_Reads_.] _Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love use Reason
for his precisian, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not
young, no more am I. Go to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry, so
am I. Ha, ha, then there’s more sympathy. You love sack, and so do I.
Would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page,
at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice, that I love thee. I
will not say, pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love me.
By me,
Thine own true knight,
By day or night,
Or any kind of light,
With all his might,
For thee to fight,
John Falstaff._
What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world! One that is
well-nigh worn to pieces with age, to show himself a young gallant!
What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked—with the
devil’s name!—out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner
assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What should I say
to him? I was then frugal of my mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll
exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall
I be revenged on him? For revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are
made of puddings.
Don't ask me why I love you, because although Love uses Reason as his strict advisor, he doesn't listen to him as his counselor. You're not young, neither am I—so that's a match. You're cheerful, so am I—that's another match. You love wine, and so do I. Could you want a better match than that? Let it be enough for you, Mistress Page, at least if the love of a soldier can suffice—I love you. I won't say, pity me—that's not how a soldier talks—but I say love me. By me, Your true knight, by day or night, or any kind of light, with all his might, for you to fight, John Falstaff. What a ridiculous tyrant is this! Oh wicked, wicked world! A man worn out almost to pieces by age, pretending to be a young gallant! What crude behavior has this drunk picked up—by the devil's name!—from my conversation, that he dares approach me this way? Why, he's only been in my company three times! What should I do about him? I was stingy with my laughter back then. Heaven forgive me! I'll file a bill in Parliament to get rid of men like this. How can I get revenge on him? I will get revenge, as sure as his guts are made of blood puddings.
Don't ask me why I love you, because sure, Love might use Reason to advise him, but he doesn't actually listen to that advice. You're not young, I'm not young either—so that's something we have in common. You're happy and cheerful? So am I—that's even more in common. You like wine? So do I. Could there be a better match than that? So that should be enough for you, Mistress Page—at least if a soldier's love can be enough. I love you. I won't say feel sorry for me (that's not how soldiers talk), but I'm saying love me back. Signed by me, your true knight, day or night, any kind of light, with all my might, ready to fight for you, John Falstaff. What a ridiculous fool this is! This wicked, wicked world! Here's a guy falling apart from old age trying to act like some young charming guy! How did this drunk pick up such terrible behavior—by the devil!—from being around me? He's barely even spent time with me! What am I supposed to say to this? I was pretty reserved when we did spend time together. Good grief! I'm going to push for a law to ban men like him. So how can I get back at him? Oh, I'll get revenge—count on it.
don't ask why i love you we're both old both like wine he's ridiculous worn out and pretending hardly even know him i'll get revenge
Mistress Ford is more emotionally volatile than Page — she feels the insult keenly, but channels it into action rather than self-pity. Watch for how she leads the physical execution of the revenge schemes while Page provides the wit.
Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to your house.
Mistress Page! Believe me, I was heading to your house.
Mistress Page! I'm telling you, I was just coming over to your place.
mistress page! for real i was coming to you
And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill.
And believe me, I was coming to you. You look very unwell.
And I was heading to you too. You look awful, by the way.
i was coming to you too you look terrible
Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to show to the contrary.
No, I'll never believe that. I have something to prove the opposite.
No way, I don't believe that for a second. I can prove you wrong.
no way i can prove that
Faith, but you do, in my mind.
But you certainly do, in my opinion.
But honestly, I think you do.
nah you totally do
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show you to the contrary. O,
Mistress Page, give me some counsel.
Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could prove you wrong. Oh, Mistress Page, give me some advice.
Okay, fine, I do. But I could still prove you wrong, you know. Mistress Page, I need your advice.
ok i do but i could prove you wrong give me advice
What’s the matter, woman?
What's wrong, woman?
What's going on?
what's up
O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such
honour!
Oh woman, if not for one small concern, I could achieve such honor!
Oh, if it wasn't for one stupid thing, I could get to such honor!
if it wasn't for one thing i could be so honored
Hang the trifle, woman; take the honour. What is it? Dispense with
trifles. What is it?
Ignore the small concern, woman; take the honor. What is it? Forget about minor things. What is it?
Forget the small stuff, woman; take the honor. What is it? Don't worry about little things. What is it?
forget the stupid thing take the honor what is it
If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be
knighted.
If I would just go to hell for just a moment, I could be knighted.
If I'd just go to hell for like a second, I could get knighted.
if i went to hell for a second i could get knighted
What? Thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack, and so thou
shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.
What? You're lying! Sir Alice Ford! These knights will cut down your status, so you shouldn't change your social standing.
What? You're lying! Sir Alice Ford! These knights will ruin your reputation, so you shouldn't mess with your status.
stop lying they'll wreck your status
We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive how I might be knighted. I
shall think the worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not swear; praised women’s
modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all
uncomeliness that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to
the truth of his words. But they do no more adhere and keep place
together than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of “Greensleeves.” What
tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his
belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the
best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust
have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
We're wasting time. Here, read, read. See how I might be knighted. I'll think badly of fat men for the rest of my life. And yet he wouldn't swear; praised women's modesty; and gave such proper and well-behaved criticism to all rudeness that I would have sworn his nature matched his words. But they stick together no better than the Hundredth Psalm goes with the tune of 'Greensleeves.' What storm threw this whale ashore at Windsor with so much fat in his belly? How shall I get revenge on him? I think the best way is to encourage his hopes until his lust burns him up in his own fat. Did you ever hear anything like it?
We're wasting time. Here, read it. Look at how I could get knighted. I'll hate fat men forever because of this guy. And get this—he wouldn't even swear, he praised how modest women are, and he acted so proper and well-behaved that I would have believed he meant it. But that doesn't match at all—like putting 'Greensleeves' to the tune of the Hundredth Psalm. What disaster brought this whale to Windsor with all that blubber? How do I get my revenge? I figure the best thing is to string him along with hope until his lust consumes him. Ever heard of anything like it?
not wasting more time read it he's so fake swears he's good but he's not fat whale landed in windsor how do i get revenge string him along till he burns out
Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy
great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother
of thy letter. But let thine inherit first, for I protest mine never
shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank
space for different names—sure, more, and these are of the second
edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he
puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a
giantess and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
It's the same letter, except the names are Page and Ford instead! To make you feel better about this shameful business, here's the twin of your letter. But let yours go first, because I swear mine will never circulate. I'm sure he has a thousand of these letters, written with blank spaces for different names—actually, probably more, and these are the second edition. He'll definitely print them, because he doesn't care what he puts on paper when he wants us. I'd rather be a giantess crushed under a mountain. Well, I'll find you twenty lustful women before I find one faithful man.
Same letter basically, except they're addressed to Page and Ford! To cheer you up about this nightmare, here's your copy. But yours first, because I swear mine never happens. I bet he's got thousands of these letters with blank spaces for different names—probably way more, second edition and all. He's definitely printing them, because he doesn't give a damn what he publishes when it comes to us. I'd rather be buried under a mountain. Anyway, I'll find you twenty horny women before I find one loyal man.
same letters just different names i swear i'm not sending mine he's got thousands of these printing them for sure i'd rather be dead so many horny women none are faithful
Why, this is the very same—the very hand, the very words. What doth he
think of us?
This is exactly the same—the same handwriting, the exact same words. What does he think we are?
This is literally the same thing—same handwriting, same exact words. What does he think of us?
same letter same handwriting same everything what does he think of us
Nay, I know not. It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own
honesty. I’ll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted
withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me that I know not
myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.
I don't know. It almost makes me want to fight with my own integrity. I'll treat myself like someone I don't know; surely, unless he knows something about me that I don't know myself, he would never have approached me so forcefully.
I have no idea. It almost makes me want to betray my own honesty. I'll pretend I'm someone I'm not; I mean, unless he knows something about me that I don't even know, he wouldn't have come at me like this.
i don't know makes me question myself unless he knows something about me he shouldn't have come at me like this
“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to keep him above deck.
You call that 'boarding'? I'll make sure to keep him on the surface.
That's what you call 'boarding'? I'll keep him far away.
boarding? i'm keeping him away
So will I. If he come under my hatches, I’ll never to sea again. Let’s
be revenged on him. Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of
comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited delay, till he
hath pawned his horses to mine host of the Garter.
So will I. If he comes under my guard, I'll never sail again. Let's get revenge on him. Let's set up a meeting with him, make him think there's hope for his desires, and lead him along with a well-planned delay until he's pawned his horses to the inn keeper.
Me too. If he ever gets close to me, I'm done. Let's get revenge. Let's set up a meeting, make him think there's a chance, and string him along with a clever excuse until he's sold his horses to the innkeeper.
if he gets close i'm out let's get revenge set up a meeting string him along till he loses everything
Nay, I will consent to act any villainy against him that may not sully
the chariness of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
would give eternal food to his jealousy.
No, I'll agree to any deception against him that doesn't damage the purity of our reputation. Oh, if my husband saw this letter! It would feed his jealousy forever.
I'll do anything against him that doesn't compromise our good name. God, if my husband saw this letter! It would make him jealous forever.
i'll get revenge without ruining us if my husband saw this he'd be jealous forever
Why, look where he comes; and my good man too. He’s as far from
jealousy as I am from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
unmeasurable distance.
Look, he's coming, and my husband too. He's as far from being jealous as I am from giving him a reason to be, and I hope that's a huge distance.
Oh look, he's coming, and my husband's with him. My husband has no reason to be jealous because I'd never give him one—they're worlds apart.
here they come my husband won't be jealous cuz i'd never give him reason
You are the happier woman.
You are the luckier woman.
You're the lucky one.
you're lucky
Let’s consult together against this greasy knight. Come hither.
Let's plan together against this oily knight. Come here.
Let's team up against this disgusting guy. Come over here.
let's plan against him come here
Ford is the play's jealousy engine — his suspicion feeds on every piece of information, turning innocence into evidence. Watch for how his asides run hotter and hotter even as he says nothing to his wife.
Well, I hope it be not so.
Well, I hope it's not true.
Well, I hope that's not the case.
hope thats not true
Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
Sir John affects thy wife.
Hope is a short-tailed dog in some situations. Sir John wants your wife.
Hope doesn't last long in some situations. Sir John's after your wife.
hope doesn't last he wants your wife
Why, sir, my wife is not young.
But sir, my wife isn't young.
My wife's not exactly young.
she's getting older
He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
He courts both high and low, both rich and poor, both young and old, one after another, Ford. He loves variety. Ford, understand.
He hits on everyone—rich, poor, young, old, everyone, Ford. He loves the mix. Get it, Ford?
he wants everyone rich poor young old he loves variety get it
The scene's sharpest structural joke is the contrast between Page and Ford's responses to identical warnings. Page says: 'Hang them, rogues — I trust my wife.' Ford says: 'A man can be too confident.' This is not because Ford's wife is less trustworthy — she's completely faithful, as the play proves — but because Ford's imagination is catastrophizing in ways that have nothing to do with reality. Page's trust is earned confidence; Ford's distrust is a character flaw dressed up as prudence. The play punishes Ford not because he was right to worry, but because jealousy itself is the disease — and Falstaff's failure to seduce anyone makes Ford's anguish entirely self-inflicted.
Love my wife?
Love my wife?
love my wife?
love my wife?
With liver burning hot.
Prevent, or go thou like Sir Actaeon he,
With Ringwood at thy heels.
O, odious is the name!
With lust burning hot. Stop him, or you'll end up like Sir Actaeon with a hunting dog at your heels. Oh, that's a hateful name!
His lust is burning. Stop it, or you'll end up like Actaeon hunted down. That's a horrible name.
his lust burns stop him or you'll be hunted like a deer
What name, sir?
What name, sir?
what name, sir?
what name, sir?
The horn, I say. Farewell.
Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night.
Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do sing.—
Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page, he speaks sense.
The horns, I say. Goodbye. Be careful, keep watch, because thieves work by night. Be careful before summer comes or the cuckoo birds sing. Go on, Sir Corporal Nym. Believe it, Page, he makes sense.
Horns, that's what I mean. Goodbye. Watch out, stay alert, thieves come at night. Watch out before summer, when the cuckoo birds sing. Come on, Nym. Page, he's right.
horns that's what it means goodbye watch out thieves come at night he's right
[_Aside_.] I will be patient. I will find out this.
I will be patient. I will figure this out.
Okay, I'll stay calm about this. I'm going to get to the bottom of it.
stay patient figure this out
[_To Page_.] And this is true, I like not the humour of lying. He hath
wronged me in some humours. I should have borne the humoured letter to
her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves
your wife; there’s the short and the long. My name is Corporal Nym. I
speak, and I avouch ’tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
wife. Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese. Adieu.
I don't like lying, and this isn't right. He wronged me in some ways. I should have delivered the love letter to her myself, but I have a sword and I'll use it out of necessity. Here's the plain truth: he loves your wife. My name is Corporal Nym. I speak, and I swear it's true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife. Goodbye. I don't like dishonest dealings. Goodbye.
I hate lying and scheming—it's not right. He did me wrong. I should've been the one to give her that love letter, but I've got a sword and I'm prepared to use it if I have to. Bottom line: Falstaff loves your wife. I'm Corporal Nym. I'm telling you, and I swear it's the truth. My name is Nym, and that fat guy loves your wife. I'm out. I don't do shady business. Goodbye.
hate lying he wronged me falstaff loves your wife i'm corporal nym swear it's true goodbye
[_Aside_.] “The humour of it,” quoth ’a! Here’s a fellow frights
English out of his wits.
"The humor of it," he says! Here's a fellow who scares the English language out of its wits.
"The humor of it," this guy says! This guy is so weird he's actually terrifying the English language.
scares english out of its wits
[_Aside_.] I will seek out Falstaff.
I need to track down Falstaff and have a word with him.
I'm going to find Falstaff and get some answers.
find falstaff
[_Aside_.] I never heard such a drawling, affecting rogue.
I've never heard such a slow-talking, affected rogue.
I've never met a guy who talks so slow and tries so hard to impress.
slow talking affected guy
[_Aside_.] If I do find it—well.
If I find it's true—well.
If this turns out to be real—we'll see.
if it's true
[_Aside_.] I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o’ the
town commended him for a true man.
I won't believe such a liar, even if the town priest said he was honest.
I'm not going to believe some guy like that, not even if a priest vouched for him.
don't believe him
[_Aside_.] ’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
Mistress Page and Mistress Ford come forward.
He was a sensible fellow—that was good. Mistress Page and Mistress Ford come forward.
That guy talked sense—good point. [Mistress Page and Mistress Ford enter]
sensible fellow made sense
How now, Meg?
How now, Meg?
how now, meg?
how now, meg?
Whither go you, George? Hark you.
Where are you heading, George? I need to talk to you.
Where are you going? Listen, George.
george hold up i need to tell you something
How now, sweet Frank, why art thou melancholy?
Hello, sweet Frank, why are you sad?
Hey Frank, what's wrong? Why are you so sad?
hey frank why you sad
I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you home, go.
Me sad? I'm not sad at all. You should go home.
Sad? I'm not sad. Just go home.
nah i'm good bounce
Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now.—Will you go, Mistress
Page?
Truly, you have some odd ideas in your head now. Will you go, Mistress Page?
Honestly, you've got some weird thoughts going on. Come on, Mistress Page?
you got weird ideas let's go mistress page
Have with you. You’ll come to dinner, George?
I'm ready to go. Will you be joining us for dinner, George?
Let's go. You coming to dinner, George?
let's bounce dinner at our place?
[_Aside to Mistress Ford_.] Look who comes yonder. She shall be our
messenger to this paltry knight.
Look who's coming over there. She'll be our messenger to this worthless knight.
Look who's showing up. She'll be perfect for delivering our message to that pathetic knight.
she's our messenger to the knight
[_Aside to Mistress Page_.] Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
Honestly, I was already thinking about her. She'll be perfect for it.
I know, I was just thinking the same thing. She'll work perfectly.
i was thinking her she'll fit
You are come to see my daughter Anne?
You've come to see my daughter Anne?
You're here to see my daughter Anne?
you here to see anne
Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?
Yes, truly. And please, how is good Mistress Anne?
Yes, I am. How is Mistress Anne doing?
yep how's mistress anne
Go in with us and see. We’d have an hour’s talk with you.
Come inside with us and see. We'd like to talk with you for an hour.
Come in with us. We want to talk to you for a while.
come in let's talk
How now, Master Ford?
How are you now, Master Ford?
What's going on, Master Ford?
yo master ford whats up
You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
You heard what this rogue told me, didn't you?
You heard what this guy told me, right?
you heard what he said right
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
Yes, and did you hear what the other one told me?
Yeah, and did you hear what the other guy told me?
yeah and you heard what the other guy said
Mistress Page and Mistress Ford are the most active agents in this play. They identify the threat, compare notes, form a plan, recruit an accomplice (Quickly), and execute multiple iterations of their revenge — while their husbands either trust too much or worry too much. The play never comments on the women being unusually capable; it treats their intelligence and their friendship as entirely normal. The comedy comes not from the women being surprisingly clever, but from the men being hilariously wrong about the situation they're in.
Do you think there is truth in them?
Do you think there's any truth in what they said?
Do you think any of it's true?
you think it's true
Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it, but these
that accuse him in his intent towards our wives are a yoke of his
discarded men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
Hang them, slaves! I don't think the knight would try it, but those who accuse him are just a pair of his fired men, now that they're out of work.
To hell with them! I don't think the knight would actually do it, but these guys accusing him? They're just his old servants he fired.
forget them the knight wouldn't do it but these guys accusing him they're just fired servants
Were they his men?
Did they previously work in his employ?
They worked for him?
his staff?
Marry, were they.
Well, were they.
well, were they.
well, were they.
I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the Garter?
I don't like it any better for that reason. Does he stay at the Garter?
That doesn't make me feel any better. Does he stay at the Garter?
that doesn't help does he stay at the garter
Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage toward my wife, I
would turn her loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp
words, let it lie on my head.
Yes, he does. If he tries to seduce my wife, I'd let her deal with him herself; and if he gets anything from her besides sharp words, blame me.
Yeah, he does. If he tries anything with my wife, I'd let her handle it; and if he gets anything from her besides insults, that's on me.
he stays there my wife can deal with him my bad if something happens
I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath to turn them together.
A man may be too confident. I would have nothing lie on my head. I
cannot be thus satisfied.
I don't doubt my wife, but I wouldn't want to leave them alone together. A man can be too confident. I don't want anything on my conscience. I can't be satisfied like this.
I trust my wife, but I wouldn't want to leave them alone. A guy can be too trusting. I don't want anything to happen. I can't just accept this.
i trust my wife but i don't want them alone i can't just accept this
Look where my ranting host of the Garter comes. There is either liquor
in his pate or money in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
mine host?
Look where my talkative innkeeper is coming from. He must have either alcohol in his head or money in his pocket when he looks so happy. Hello, innkeeper.
Look at the innkeeper coming over. He's either drunk or has money when he looks that happy. Hey, innkeeper!
here comes the innkeeper he's either drunk or rich hey innkeeper
How now, bully rook? Thou’rt a gentleman.—Cavaliero Justice, I say!
Hello, my good friend! You're a gentleman. I say, Cavalier Justice!
Hey buddy! You're a real gentleman. Sir Justice!
hey buddy you're a gentleman get it justice
I follow, mine host, I follow.—Good even and twenty, good Master Page.
Master Page, will you go with us? We have sport in hand.
I'm coming, innkeeper, I'm coming. Good evening and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will you come with us? We have entertainment planned.
I'm coming, innkeeper! Hey Page, good evening. Page, will you come with us? We've got some fun planned.
i'm coming innkeeper good evening page come with us we got fun planned
Tell him, Cavaliero Justice; tell him, bully rook.
Tell him, Sir Justice; tell him, my good friend.
Tell him, Sir Justice! Come on, buddy!
tell him sir justice tell him buddy
Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and
Caius the French doctor.
Sir, a duel has been arranged between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor.
Sir, there's going to be a fight between the Welsh priest and the French doctor.
welsh priest fighting french doctor let's watch
Good mine host o’ the Garter, a word with you.
Good innkeeper of the Garter, I need a private word with you.
Hey innkeeper, can I talk to you?
innkeeper psst private chat
What say’st thou, my bully rook?
What is your response, my good fellow?
What's up, buddy?
what you got
[_To Page_.] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had
the measuring of their weapons, and, I think, hath appointed them
contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark,
I will tell you what our sport shall be.
Will you go with us to see it? My merry host has measured their weapons and, I think, has put them in opposite locations; believe me, I hear the priest is no joker. Listen, I'll tell you what we're planning to do.
You want to come watch? My fun-loving host has measured out their weapons and set them up in opposite spots—trust me, that priest is serious. Hey, I'll tell you what we've got planned.
come watch host measured weapons priest is serious i'll tell you the plan
Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest cavaliero?
Do you have no complaint against my knight, my honored guest sir?
You don't have a grievance against my knight, do you sir?
u got beef w/ my knight sir?
None, I protest. But I’ll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me
recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook, only for a jest.
None, I swear. But I'll give you a large drink of mulled wine to let me talk to him, and tell him my name is Brook, just as a joke.
No way. But I'll buy you a drink if you let me talk to him and tell him my name is Brook, for a laugh.
nope i'll buy you a drink let me talk to him tell him i'm brook just kidding
My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and regress—said I well?—and thy
name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight. Will you go, myn-heers?
My hand to you, buddy. You'll have the right to come and go—did I say that right?—and your name will be Brook. He's a merry knight. Will you go, gentlemen?
You got it, buddy. You can come and go as you please—how's that?—and your name is Brook. He's a funny guy. You coming, gentlemen?
you got it buddy you can come and go your name is brook he's funny let's go
Have with you, mine host.
I shall accompany you, innkeeper.
Let's go, innkeeper.
coming with you boss
I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.
I've heard the Frenchman has good skill with his sword.
I heard the French guy is good with a sword.
french guy's good with a sword
Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times you stand on
distance—your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what. ’Tis the heart,
Master Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with my long
sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.
Nonsense, sir, I could tell you more. These days they emphasize technique—your thrusts, sword moves, and all that. It's the heart, Master Page; it's here, it's here. I've seen the time when with my long sword I would have made four tall men run like rats.
Come on, sir, I could tell you more. Nowadays they focus on technique—thrusts, moves, whatever. It's about heart, Master Page; it's right here. I remember when I could beat four big guys with my sword.
it's about heart not technique i used to beat four guys with my sword
Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
Gather here, gentlemen! Shall we depart?
Come on, guys! Let's go!
yo let's roll time to see the fight
Have with you. I had rather hear them scold than fight.
Let's go. I'd rather hear them argue than fight.
Let's go. I'd rather hear them yell at each other than fight.
let's go i'd rather hear them fight with words
Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife’s
frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily. She was in his
company at Page’s house, and what they made there I know not. Well, I
will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If
I find her honest, I lose not my labour. If she be otherwise, ’tis
labour well bestowed.
Though Page is a foolishly confident man, and bases everything on his wife's faithfulness, I cannot so easily dismiss my suspicions. She was in Falstaff's company at Page's house, and I don't know what they did there. Well, I'll investigate further, and I have a disguise so I can sound out Falstaff's intentions. If I find her honest, I haven't wasted my time. If she's unfaithful, the time is well spent.
Page might be a confident fool who trusts his wife too much, but I can't just ignore what I heard. She was with Falstaff at Page's house, and I don't know what happened there. I'll look into it more, and I have a disguise so I can test Falstaff. If my wife is faithful, no harm done. If she's not, at least I'll know.
page is a fool but i cant ignore this my wife was w/ falstaff at his house i dont know what happened im gonna investigate im gonna test falstaff if shes faithful cool if not at least ill know
The Reckoning
The scene where the comedy's engine roars to life. Two clever women discover they've been handled identically by a man who thought he was being irresistible, and their reaction is not hurt or embarrassed — it's gleeful. The contrast with their husbands is sharp: Page dismisses the warning with confidence; Ford immediately spirals into jealousy. The two marriages couldn't be more different, and the play is about to exploit that difference entirely.
If this happened today…
You and your friend both receive the same copy-paste DM from the same man — slightly personalised in the salutation, identical otherwise. You screenshot it and send it to each other within minutes. Instead of being offended, you start a group chat titled 'operation comeuppance.' Your husbands find out simultaneously: one says 'that's obviously fake, my wife would never'; the other immediately calls three lawyers and sets up a Ring camera.