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Act 1, Scene 4 — A room in Doctor Caius’s house
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The argument At Doctor Caius's house, Mistress Quickly hides Slender's servant Simple in a closet before Caius returns — Caius finds Simple, discovers Evans's letter promoting Slender's suit, and challenges Evans to a duel, while Fenton arrives to pay Quickly for her support of his own suit to Anne.
Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.
First appearance
MISTRESS QUICKLY

Quickly never quite completes a sentence when she's nervous, trails off into 'notwithstanding' and 'that's neither here nor there,' and has a gift for conveying maximum confidence with minimum information. Watch for how she tells everyone exactly what they want to hear.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

What, John Rugby!

What, John Rugby!

what, john rugby!

what, john rugby!

Enter Rugby.
I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master,
Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in
the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s
English.
RUGBY RUGBY's declaration

I’ll go watch.

I’ll go watch.

i’ll go watch.

i’ll go watch.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the

latter end of a sea-coal fire.

Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.

go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.

go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, i

[_Exit Rugby._]
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate. His worst
fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way,
but nobody but has his fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say
your name is?
SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

Ay, for fault of a better.

Yes, for fault of a better.

yes, for fault of a better.

yes, for fault of a better.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

And Master Slender’s your master?

And Master Slender’s your master?

and master slender’s your master?

and master slender’s your master?

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

Ay, forsooth.

Yes, truly.

yes, truly.

yes, truly.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?

Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?

does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?

does he not wear a great round beard, like a glove

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow

beard, a Cain-coloured beard.

No, truly, he has but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard.

no, truly, he has but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a cain-coloured beard.

no, truly, he has but a little wee face, with a

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

a softly-sprighted man, is he not?

a softly-sprighted man, is he not?

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between

this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener.

Yes, truly. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head. He has fought with a warrener.

yes, truly. but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head. he has fought with a warrener.

yes, truly. but he is as tall a man of his hand

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as

it were, and strut in his gait?

How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

how say you? o, i should remember him. does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

how say you? o, i should remember him. does he not

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

Yes, indeed, does he.

Yes, indeed, does he.

yes, indeed, does he.

yes, indeed, does he.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans

I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—

Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—

well, heaven send anne page no worse fortune! tell master parson evans i will do what i can for your master. anne is a good girl, and i wish—

well, heaven send anne page no worse fortune! tell

Enter Rugby.
RUGBY
Out, alas! Here comes my master.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this

closet. He will not stay long.

We will all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this closet. He will not stay long.

we will all be shent. run in here, good young man, go into this closet. he will not stay long.

we will all be shent. run in here, good young man,

[_Simple steps into the closet._]
What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my
master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home.
[_Exit Rugby._]
[_Sings_.] _And down, down, adown-a, etc._
Enter Doctor Caius.
CAIUS
Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in
my closet _une boîtine verte_, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I
speak? A green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.

Yes, truly, I’ll fetch it you.

yes, truly, i’ll fetch it you.

yes, truly, i’ll fetch it you.

[_Aside_.] I am glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young
man, he would have been horn-mad.
First appearance
CAIUS

Doctor Caius speaks English with a French accent that makes his threats simultaneously more menacing and more comic ('I vill cut his troat'). Watch for how his rage escalates in proportion to his mangled grammar.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

_Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la

grande affaire._

_Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la granthe affaire._

_fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. je m’en vais à la cour—la granthe affaire._

_fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. je m’e

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Is it this, sir?

Is it this, sir?

is it this, sir?

is it this, sir?

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

_Oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _Dépêche_, quickly—Vere is dat knave

Rugby?

_Oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _Dépêche_, quickly—Vere is dat knave Rugby?

_oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _dépêche_, quickly—vere is dat knave rugby?

_oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _dépêche_, quickly—

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

What, John Rugby, John!

What, John Rugby, John!

what, john rugby, john!

what, john rugby, john!

Enter Rugby.
RUGBY
Here, sir.
CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier,

and come after my heel to the court.

You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.

you are john rugby, and you are jack rugby. come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.

you are john rugby, and you are jack rugby. come,

RUGBY RUGBY's declaration

’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

’tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

’tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! _Qu’ay j’oublié?_ Dere is some

simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.

By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! _Qu’Yes j’oublié?_ Dere is some simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I will leave behind.

by my trot, i tarry too long. ’od’s me! _qu’yes j’oublié?_ dere is some simples in my closet dat i vill not for the varld i will leave behind.

by my trot, i tarry too long. ’od’s me! _qu’yes j’

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!

Yes me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!

yes me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!

yes me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

_O diable, diable!_ Vat is in my closet? Villainy! _Larron!_ [_Pulling

Simple out_.] Rugby, my rapier!

_O diable, diable!_ Vat is in my closet? Villainy! _Larron!_ [_Pulling Simple out_.] Rugby, my rapier!

_o diable, diable!_ vat is in my closet? villainy! _larron!_ [_pulling simple out_.] rugby, my rapier!

_o diable, diable!_ vat is in my closet? villainy!

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Good master, be content.

Good master, be content.

good master, be content.

good master, be content.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Wherefore shall I be content-a?

Wherefore will I be content-a?

wherefore will i be content-a?

wherefore will i be content-a?

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

The young man is an honest man.

The young man is an honest man.

the young man is an honest man.

the young man is an honest man.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat

shall come in my closet.

What will the honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat will come in my closet.

what will the honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat will come in my closet.

what will the honest man do in my closet? dere is

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of

an errand to me from Parson Hugh.

I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.

i beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. hear the truth of it. he came of an errand to me from parson hugh.

i beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. hear the trut

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Vell?

Vell?

vell?

vell?

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—

Yes, truly, to desire her to—

yes, truly, to desire her to—

yes, truly, to desire her to—

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Peace, I pray you.

Peace, I pray you.

peace, i pray you.

peace, i pray you.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.

Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.

peace-a your tongue!—speak-a your tale.

peace-a your tongue!—speak-a your tale.

SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to

Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.

To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.

to desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress anne page for my master in the way of marriage.

to desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to s

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and

need not.

This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

this is all, indeed, la! but i’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and need not.

this is all, indeed, la! but i’ll ne’er put my fin

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—Tarry you a

little-a while.

Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a while.

sir hugh send-a you?—rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—tarry you a little-a while.

sir hugh send-a you?—rugby, _baille_ me some paper

[_Writes._]
[_Aside to Simple_.] I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But

notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the

very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my

master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake,

scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—

moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—

moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. but notwithstanding, man, i’ll do you your master what good i can; and the very yea and the no is, the french doctor, my master—i may call him my master, look you, for i keep his house, and i wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—

moved, you should have heard him so loud and so me

[_Aside to Mistress Quickly_.] ’Tis a great charge to come under one
SIMPLE SIMPLE's declaration

body’s hand.

body’s hand.

body’s hand.

body’s hand.

[_Aside to Simple_.] Are you avised o’ that? You shall find it a great
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell

you in your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in

love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s

mind. That’s neither here nor there.

charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind. That’s neither here nor there.

charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell you in your ear, i would have no words of it—my master himself is in love with mistress anne page; but notwithstanding that, i know anne’s mind. that’s neither here nor there.

charge, and to be up early and down late; but notw

🎭 Dramatic irony Quickly tells Simple that Caius is in love with Anne — a piece of information that should disqualify her as an impartial go-between for Slender. She tells it as a confidence while pocketing money to help Slender. The audience sees immediately that Quickly is running all the suitors simultaneously.
CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a

shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will teach a scurvy

jackanape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you

tarry here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar, he shall not

have a stone to throw at his dog.

You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a shallenge. I will cut his troat in the park, and I will teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you tarry here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar, he will not have a stone to throw at his dog.

you jack’nape, give-a dis letter to sir hugh. by gar, it is a shallenge. i will cut his troat in the park, and i will teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or make. you may be gone, it is not good you tarry here.—by gar, i will cut all his two stones. by gar, he will not have a stone to throw at his dog.

you jack’nape, give-a dis letter to sir hugh. by g

"I will cut all his two stones" Caius threatens castration — the 'two stones' being his testicles. The play's violence is always comic rather than genuinely threatening.
[_Exit Simple._]
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

alas, he speaks but for his friend.

alas, he speaks but for his friend.

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne

Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have

appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will

myself have Anne Page.

It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I will have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill the Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of the Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.

it is no matter-a ver dat. do not you tell-a me dat i will have anne page for myself? by gar, i vill kill the jack priest; and i have appointed mine host of the jarteer to measure our weapon. by gar, i will myself have anne page.

it is no matter-a ver dat. do not you tell-a me da

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks

leave to prate. What, the good-year!

Sir, the maid loves you, and all will be well. We must give folks leave to prate. What, the good-year!

sir, the maid loves you, and all will be well. we must give folks leave to prate. what, the good-year!

sir, the maid loves you, and all will be well. we

CAIUS Angry and combative; defending his honor

Rugby, come to the court with me. [_To Mistress Quickly_.] By gar, if I

have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my

heels, Rugby.

Rugby, come to the court with me. [_To Mistress Quickly_.] By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I will turn your head out of my door.—Follow my heels, Rugby.

rugby, come to the court with me. [_to mistress quickly_.] by gar, if i have not anne page, i will turn your head out of my door.—follow my heels, rugby.

rugby, come to the court with me. [_to mistress qu

[_Exeunt Caius and Rugby._]
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

You shall have An—fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for

that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do, nor

can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

You will have An—fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

you will have an—fool’s head of your own. no, i know anne’s mind for that. never a woman in windsor knows more of anne’s mind than i do, nor can do more than i do with her, i thank heaven.

you will have an—fool’s head of your own. no, i kn

Why it matters This is Quickly's quiet power: she knows Anne's actual mind and keeps it to herself, while telling everyone else what they want to hear.
[_Within_.] Who’s within there, ho?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

who’s there, i trow? come near the house, i pray you.

who’s there, i trow? come near the house, i pray y

Enter Fenton.
FENTON
How now, good woman? How dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

the better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

the better, that it pleases your good worship to a

First appearance
FENTON

Fenton is the romantic lead who barely gets to speak — young, warm, clearly genuine about Anne. His brevity here makes him more sympathetic than Slender's endless bear-baiting or Caius's bellowing.

FENTON FENTON's declaration

What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

what news? how does pretty mistress anne?

what news? how does pretty mistress anne?

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that

is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.

In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.

in truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, i can tell you that by the way, i praise heaven for it.

in truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and

FENTON FENTON's declaration

Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

will I do any good, think’st you? will I not lose my suit?

will i do any good, think’st you? will i not lose my suit?

will i do any good, think’st you? will i not lose

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding, Master

Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a

wart above your eye?

Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

troth, sir, all is in his hands above. but notwithstanding, master fenton, i’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. have not your worship a wart above your eye?

troth, sir, all is in his hands above. but notwith

FENTON FENTON's declaration

Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

Yes, Well, have I; what of that?

yes, well, have i; what of that?

yes, well, have i; what of that?

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan! But, I

detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of

that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed,

she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.

Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan! But, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of that wart. I will never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.

well, thereby hangs a tale. good faith, it is such another nan! but, i detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. we had an hour’s talk of that wart. i will never laugh but in that maid’s company. but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. but for you—well, go to.

well, thereby hangs a tale. good faith, it is such

FENTON FENTON's declaration

Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee. Let me have

thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest her before me, commend me.

Well, I will see her today. Hold, there’s money for you. Let me have your voice in my behalf. If you seest her before me, commend me.

well, i will see her today. hold, there’s money for you. let me have your voice in my behalf. if you seest her before me, commend me.

well, i will see her today. hold, there’s money fo

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Will I? I’ faith, that we will! And I will tell your worship more of

the wart the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.

Will I? I’ faith, that we will! And I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.

will i? i’ faith, that we will! and i will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.

will i? i’ faith, that we will! and i will tell yo

FENTON FENTON's declaration

Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.

Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.

well, farewell, i am in great haste now.

well, farewell, i am in great haste now.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Farewell to your worship.

Farewell to your worship.

farewell to your worship.

farewell to your worship.

[_Exit Fenton._]
Truly, an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him not, for I know Anne’s
mind as well as another does. Out upon ’t, what have I forgot?
[_Exit._]

The Reckoning

The scene introduces two new contenders for Anne and the magnificent Mistress Quickly, who manages to be simultaneously loyal to Caius, sympathetic to Simple's mission, and encouraging to Fenton — all while knowing Anne's actual mind perfectly well, which she chooses not to share with anyone. Caius erupts magnificently, threatens castration, and storms out. What remains is Quickly, alone, muttering that she knows Anne's mind better than anyone, and has apparently forgotten what she was supposed to be doing.

If this happened today…

You're the housekeeper for a volatile French surgeon who has a terrible temper. You've agreed to hide someone's Uber driver in your boss's office while your boss was supposed to be away. Your boss comes back early. He finds the Uber driver, reads the note the driver was carrying — which turns out to be from your boss's romantic rival — and immediately calls his lawyer about a defamation lawsuit. After he storms out, a third man shows up to tip you for helping him too. You assure him you're on his side. You're on everyone's side.

Continue to 2.1 →