Quickly never quite completes a sentence when she's nervous, trails off into 'notwithstanding' and 'that's neither here nor there,' and has a gift for conveying maximum confidence with minimum information. Watch for how she tells everyone exactly what they want to hear.
What, John Rugby!
What, John Rugby!
what, john rugby!
what, john rugby!
I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master,
Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in
the house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience and the King’s
English.
Please go to the window and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he does find anyone in the house, my goodness, there will be such a terrible misuse of God's patience and the King's language.
Go look out the window and see if you can spot my master, Doctor Caius, coming. If he does and finds someone here, oh boy, he'll lose it and start spouting nonsense.
look out the window if my master doctor caius comes and finds someone here hell go crazy & swear
I’ll go watch.
I’ll go watch.
i’ll go watch.
i’ll go watch.
Go; and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith, at the
latter end of a sea-coal fire.
Go ahead; and we'll have a hot drink for this soon tonight, in truth, at the end of an evening by the coal fire.
Go on then, and we'll get you a nice warm drink tonight, after the fire burns down a bit.
go on we'll get you something warm by the fire later tonight
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate. His worst
fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way,
but nobody but has his fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say
your name is?
An honest, willing, kind fellow as any servant who ever came into a house; and I promise you, not a gossip or troublemaker. His worst fault is that he's devoted to prayer; he's a bit irritable about it, but everyone has their faults. But let's forget that. Your name is Peter Simple, you say?
He's as honest and willing and kind a servant as you'll find. Not a gossip, not someone who stirs up trouble. His only problem is he's religious—a bit touchy about it, but who isn't flawed somehow? Anyway, so your name's Peter Simple?
honest kind fellow not a gossip or troublemaker only fault is hes religious but everyone has faults u peter simple right?
Ay, for fault of a better.
Yes, because there's nothing better available.
Yeah, for lack of a better option.
yeah, better than nothing
And Master Slender’s your master?
And Master Slender is your master?
So Slender's your boss?
slender's your boss?
Ay, forsooth.
Yes, truly.
yes, truly.
yes, truly.
Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s paring-knife?
Is he not known for wearing that enormous round beard that looks just like a leather-worker's trimming knife?
Doesn't he have this huge round beard that's shaped just like a glove-maker's paring knife?
huge round beard like a knife shape
No, forsooth, he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow
beard, a Cain-coloured beard.
No, he has only a small little face, with a small yellow beard, a yellow-red colored beard.
No, he's got a tiny little face, with a little yellow beard, kind of reddish-yellow actually.
nah he's got tiny face little yellow beard kinda reddish tho
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
A gentle-spirited man, is he not?
He's a pretty gentle guy, right?
he's pretty gentle, yeah?
Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between
this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener.
Yes, indeed. But he is as skilled a fighter as anyone between here and his head. He has fought with a rabbit-keeper.
Yeah, that's right. But the guy's actually pretty good with his hands in a fight, one of the better fighters around. He's even had a scrap with a game-keeper.
yeah actually he's decent fighter fought a game-keeper once
How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head, as
it were, and strut in his gait?
How do you mean? Oh, I should remember him. Does he not carry himself upright and walk with a proud swagger?
What do you mean? Oh right, I should remember. Doesn't he hold himself up proud and strut around?
oh i remember holds himself proud struts when he walks
Yes, indeed, does he.
Yes, certainly he does.
Yeah, he totally does.
yeah totally
Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans
I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and I wish—
Well, I pray heaven gives Anne Page the best possible life! Make sure you tell Parson Evans I'll assist your boss however I possibly can. She's a good person, and I certainly wish—
Well, I hope God blesses Anne Page with good fortune! Tell Evans I'll help your master any way I can. She's a good girl, and I really—
hope god blesses anne i'll help yr master out she's so good
Out, alas! Here comes my master.
Oh no! Here comes my master.
Oh no! My master's here.
uh oh masters coming
We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man, go into this
closet. He will not stay long.
We're all going to get into serious trouble. Quick, run inside here, good young man, hide yourself in that closet. The doctor will not remain long.
We're all screwed. Quick, run in here, you good kid, get in the closet. He's not gonna be here for long.
we're screwed get in closet now he won't b here long
What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my
master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home.
What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go find my master. I'm worried he's not well since he hasn't come home.
John Rugby! John! Hey John! Go find my master. I'm worried he's sick since he's not home yet.
john rugby! go find my master i think hes sick he hasnt come home
[_Sings_.] _And down, down, adown-a, etc._
She sings: Down, down, ever downward...
[Humming to herself] Down, down, down...
humming to herself
Doctor Caius speaks English with a French accent that makes his threats simultaneously more menacing and more comic ('I vill cut his troat'). Watch for how his rage escalates in proportion to his mangled grammar.
Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in
my closet _une boîtine verte_, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I
speak? A green-a box.
What are you singing? I don't like these silly games. Please, go and fetch me from my closet a little green box. Do you understand what I'm saying? A green box.
What are you singing about? I don't like that nonsense. Go get me the little green box from my closet. You understand? The green box.
what u singing? i dont like this get me green box from closet u understand? green box
Quickly is the most important character in the subplot because she is the node through which all information passes. Every suitor — Slender, Caius, Fenton — pays her and believes she is working exclusively for him. She knows Anne's actual feelings and shares them with no one. This makes her simultaneously comic (her verbal meandering, her forgotten sentences, her warts tangent) and genuinely powerful: she controls the information that all three men need, and she monetizes it. The audience watches with delight as she takes everyone's money while telling each one they're the favourite. She's not lying, exactly — she just leaves things out.
Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.
Yes, indeed, I'll get it for you.
Sure, I'll grab it for you.
yeah i'll get it
[_Aside_.] I am glad he went not in himself. If he had found the young
man, he would have been horn-mad.
I'm glad he didn't go in there himself. If he had found the young man, he would have been absolutely furious.
Good thing he didn't go in there. If he'd found that kid in there, he'd have gone completely crazy.
glad he didn't check would've been furious
_Fe, fe, fe fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m’en vais à la cour—la
grande affaire._
Feh, feh, feh feh! By my faith, it is so hot. I go to the court—the great affair.
Phew, phew, phew! Good grief, it's boiling hot. I'm off to court—the big business calls.
phew hot off to court big affair
Is it this, sir?
Is this the item you are looking for, sir?
Is this what you want, sir?
is this it
_Oui, mette-le au mon_ pocket. _Dépêche_, quickly—Vere is dat knave
Rugby?
Yes, put it in my pocket. Hurry—Where is that rascal Rugby?
Yes, stick it in my pocket. Come on, where is that jerk Rugby?
yeah put in pocket hurry up where's rugby
What, John Rugby, John!
Where is John Rugby? John Rugby!
Rugby! John Rugby, where are you?!
rugby where u at john
Here, sir.
I'm here, sir.
Right here, sir.
im here
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier,
and come after my heel to the court.
You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take your sword, and follow me to the court.
You're John Rugby, you're Jack Rugby—whatever. Come on, grab your sword and follow me to court.
grab yr sword follow me to court
’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
It's ready, sir, here in the porch.
Yeah, it's all set out there by the entrance.
it's ready
By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! _Qu’ay j’oublié?_ Dere is some
simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
By my word, I'm taking too long. Oh my! What did I forget? There are some medicines in my closet that I will not for the world leave behind.
I swear, I'm wasting time. Oh no! What did I forget? I've got these herbs and medicines in my closet that I absolutely cannot leave behind.
taking too long forgot sth can't leave my meds
Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!
Oh no, he'll find the young man there and be furious!
Oh man, he's gonna find that kid in there and lose it!
oh no he'll find him he'll be mad
_O diable, diable!_ Vat is in my closet? Villainy! _Larron!_ [_Pulling
Simple out_.] Rugby, my rapier!
Oh the devil, the devil! What is in my closet? Villainy! Thief! Rugby, my sword!
What the hell! What's in my closet? This is a crime! You thief! Rugby, get me my sword!
what the hell who's in there rugby my sword
Good master, be content.
Good master, please be calm.
Sir, please just calm down.
sir chill out
Wherefore shall I be content-a?
Why should I be calm?
Why should I calm down?
why should i?
The young man is an honest man.
He is a young man of integrity and virtue.
He's a decent young kid.
he's legit trustworthy guy
What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest man dat
shall come in my closet.
What does an honest man have to do in my closet? There is no honest man who shall come into my closet.
What's a good guy doing in my closet? No respectable man gets to go into my closet.
what's he doing in there no one honest goes in there
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it. He came of
an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
I beg you, don't be so angry. Listen to the truth of it. He came on an errand to me from Parson Evans.
Please, don't get so worked up. Just listen—he came to me with a message from the parson.
please hear me out he came from parson evans it's legit
Vell?
Vell?
vell?
vell?
Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—
Yes, indeed, to ask her to—
Yeah, to ask her to—
to ask her—
Peace, I pray you.
Quiet, please.
Hush.
quiet
Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.
Quiet your tongue!—Tell your story.
Shut your mouth!—Go ahead with your story.
shh tell yr story
To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to
Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.
To ask this honest lady, your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the matter of marriage.
To ask this fine woman, your maid, to put in a good word with Anne Page for my boss about marriage.
ask her to help put word in for my boss marriage stuff
This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the fire, and
need not.
That is all, truly! But I will never put my hand in the fire, and I don't need to.
That's all there is to it! But I'm not gonna put my neck on the line for this, and I don't have to.
that's it i'm not risking anything and i don't have to
Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, _baille_ me some paper.—Tarry you a
little-a while.
Sir Hugh sent you?—Rugby, give me some paper.—Wait here a moment.
Evans sent you?—Rugby, bring me some paper.—Just hold on a second.
evans sent u? rugby get paper wait a sec
[_Aside to Simple_.] I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly
moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I can; and the
very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my
master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—
I'm glad he's staying so calm. If he'd been really upset, you would have heard him so loud and so moody. But anyway, I'll do what I can to help your master. And the simple truth is, the French doctor is my master—I can call him that because I keep his entire house, and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, prepare the meat and drinks, make the beds, and do absolutely everything myself—
Good thing he's staying quiet. If he'd gotten really angry, you'd have heard him screaming and being all depressed about it. Anyway, I'll do what I can for your master. The bottom line is, the French doctor is my master—I can call him that because I run his whole house, do the washing, wringing, brewing, baking, scouring, cooking the meat and drinks, making beds, doing absolutely everything myself—
glad he's calm would've been loud i'll help your master french doctor's my boss i run his house wash brew bake cook do everything
Caius is one of Shakespeare's broadest ethnic caricatures — the hot-tempered, grammatically challenged foreigner who explodes in French mid-sentence and reaches for his rapier at every provocation. But Shakespeare gives him real dignity too: he's a successful physician, he has a household, his anger is completely rational given what he found, and his desire for Anne is as genuine as anyone else's. The comedy isn't that he's French — it's that he's universally, understandably furious and completely wrong about his chances. His challenge to Evans in 1-4 sets up the magnificent near-duel in 3-1 that the Host prevents by sending them to different locations.
[_Aside to Mistress Quickly_.] ’Tis a great charge to come under one
body’s hand.
It's a huge burden to be under one person's control.
That's a lot to be under someone's thumb like that.
huge burden one person's thumb
[_Aside to Simple_.] Are you avised o’ that? You shall find it a great
charge, and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding—to tell
you in your ear, I would have no words of it—my master himself is in
love with Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s
mind. That’s neither here nor there.
You understand? You'll find it's a big burden—being up early and staying up late. But listen, don't spread this around—my master himself is actually in love with Anne Page. But I know what Anne really thinks, and that's beside the point anyway.
You get it? It's gonna be a huge burden—you're up at dawn and down at night. But look, keep this quiet—my master is actually in love with Anne Page himself. But I know what Anne wants, and honestly that doesn't matter.
big burden up early down late my master loves anne but i know her mind doesn't matter
You jack’nape, give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a
shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will teach a scurvy
jackanape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone, it is not good you
tarry here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar, he shall not
have a stone to throw at his dog.
You foolish boy, give this letter to Sir Hugh. By God, it is a challenge. I will cut his throat in the park, and I will teach this scurvy foolish priest to meddle or interfere. You should leave, it is not good you stay here.—By God, I will cut both his stones. By God, he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
You stupid kid, get this letter to Evans. By God, it's a challenge. I'm gonna slit that priest's throat in the park, and I'm gonna teach that scurvy fool not to mess with me. You should get out of here now.—By God, I'm gonna cut off his balls. By God, he won't have anything left to throw at a dog.
give letter to evans it's a challenge i'll kill that priest he's messing w me get out now
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
Oh no, he speaks only for his friend.
Come on, he's just speaking for his friend.
he's just helping his friend
It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne
Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have
appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will
myself have Anne Page.
It does not matter. Are you telling me I will not have Anne Page for myself? By God, I will kill that priest; and I have arranged with the innkeeper of the Garter to prepare our weapons. By God, I will myself have Anne Page.
That's not the point. So you're saying I can't have Anne Page for myself? By God, I'm gonna kill that priest; and I've already gotten the Garter innkeeper to set up our swords. By God, I'm gonna marry Anne Page myself.
doesn't matter i will have anne or i kill the priest i've got weapons ready
Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks
leave to prate. What, the good-year!
Sir, the girl loves you, and everything will be well. We must let people talk nonsense. What a year this is!
Sir, Anne loves you, and everything's gonna work out fine. People are gonna gossip—that's just how it is. What can you do!
she loves u it'll b ok people gotta talk
Rugby, come to the court with me. [_To Mistress Quickly_.] By gar, if I
have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my
heels, Rugby.
Rugby, come to the court with me. By God, if I do not have Anne Page, I shall turn you out of my house.—Follow my heels, Rugby.
Rugby, come to court with me. By God, if I don't get Anne Page, I'm throwing you out of my house.—Come on, follow me, Rugby.
rugby come w me i better get anne or yr out follow me
You shall have An—fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind for
that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne’s mind than I do, nor
can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
You will have Ann—fool, you fool! No, I know Anne's mind about that. Never a woman in Windsor knows Anne's mind better than I do, and no one can do more with her than I can—I thank God for it.
You think you're gonna have Anne—you idiot! No way. I know what Anne's thinking better than anybody in Windsor, and nobody can influence her like I can—thank God for that.
u ain't getting her i know anne best no one like me w her
Fenton is the romantic lead who barely gets to speak — young, warm, clearly genuine about Anne. His brevity here makes him more sympathetic than Slender's endless bear-baiting or Caius's bellowing.
[_Within_.] Who’s within there, ho?
Who's in the house there?
Is anyone there in the house?
anyone home?
Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
Who is there, I wonder? Come near the house, please.
Who's there, I wonder? Come closer to the house, please.
who's there? come closer
How now, good woman? How dost thou?
How are you doing, good woman? How are you?
Well hello there! How's everything going with you?
hey how u doing
The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
The better, because it pleases your kind attention to ask.
Better, thanks to you kindly asking.
better thanks for asking
What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
What news? How is pretty Mistress Anne doing?
So what's new? How's lovely Anne doing?
what's up how's anne doing
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that
is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.
To speak truthfully, sir, she combines beauty with decency and a gentle nature, and moreover she favors you—I assure you of this and thank heaven for it.
To be honest, she's attractive, well-behaved, and really kind, and she's definitely rooting for you—I'm certain of that, thank God.
honest she's pretty good kind she likes u i swear
Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
Will I succeed, do you think? Will I not lose my effort?
Do you think I've got a shot? Am I gonna waste my time?
will it work? or i'm wasting time?
Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding, Master
Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship a
wart above your eye?
Truly, sir, everything is in the hands of heaven above. But all the same, Master Fenton, I swear on a book she loves you. Do you not have a beauty mark above your eye?
Honestly sir, it's all up to God in the end. But I'm telling you straight, Master Fenton—she loves you, I swear it. Don't you have a mole above your eye?
it's up to god but she loves u fr do u have that mole around yr eye?
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Yes, certainly I do; does it matter?
Yeah, I do actually; why does it matter?
i got one so what
Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another Nan! But, I
detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s talk of
that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid’s company. But, indeed,
she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you—well, go to.
Well, there is a story about that. By my word, she is such another person! But honestly, she is a good honest girl as ever lived. We had an hour's conversation about that mole. I will never laugh without that girl's company. But truthfully, she is given too much to melancholy and daydreaming. But as for you—well, go on.
Well, there's a whole thing about that. Honestly, she's just amazing! But she's such a good honest girl, you know. We spent an hour talking about that mole. I never laugh like I do with her. But seriously, she's kind of moody and daydreams too much. But you—well, just try.
that mole there's a story she's amazing we talk about it all the time she's moody tho but you got a shot
Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee. Let me have
thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest her before me, commend me.
Well, I will see her today. Here, there's money for you. Let me have your support. If you see her before me, speak well of me.
Well, I'll see her today. Here, take some money. Help me out. If you run into her first, put in a good word for me.
i'll see her today here's money help me out if u c her first tell her good things
Will I? I’ faith, that we will! And I will tell your worship more of
the wart the next time we have confidence, and of other wooers.
Will I? I swear, we absolutely will! And I will tell your worship more about the wart the next time we have a private talk, and about the other suitors.
Of course I will! I really will! And I'll tell you more about that wart the next time we talk in private, and all about the other guys who are after her.
yes ill totally do it. ill tell you about the wart and other guys next private talk
Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.
Well, goodbye, I am in great hurry right now.
Well, bye, I'm in a real rush right now.
bye i'm in a hurry
Farewell to your worship.
Goodbye to you, sir.
Goodbye, sir.
bye
Truly, an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him not, for I know Anne’s
mind as well as another does. Out upon ’t, what have I forgot?
Truly, he's an honest gentleman—but Anne doesn't love him, because I know Anne's mind as well as anyone does. Curse it, what have I forgotten?
Yeah, he's a decent guy—but Anne doesn't love him. I know what Anne thinks better than anyone. Dang it, what did I forget?
hes a good guy but anne dont love him i know annes mind better than anyone what did i forget?
The Reckoning
The scene introduces two new contenders for Anne and the magnificent Mistress Quickly, who manages to be simultaneously loyal to Caius, sympathetic to Simple's mission, and encouraging to Fenton — all while knowing Anne's actual mind perfectly well, which she chooses not to share with anyone. Caius erupts magnificently, threatens castration, and storms out. What remains is Quickly, alone, muttering that she knows Anne's mind better than anyone, and has apparently forgotten what she was supposed to be doing.
If this happened today…
You're the housekeeper for a volatile French surgeon who has a terrible temper. You've agreed to hide someone's Uber driver in your boss's office while your boss was supposed to be away. Your boss comes back early. He finds the Uber driver, reads the note the driver was carrying — which turns out to be from your boss's romantic rival — and immediately calls his lawyer about a defamation lawsuit. After he storms out, a third man shows up to tip you for helping him too. You assure him you're on his side. You're on everyone's side.