Shallow speaks in rushes of repetition — 'come on, come on, come on,' 'where's the roll, where's the roll, where's the roll' — the verbal tic of a man who fills silence compulsively. His reminiscences grow larger with each telling. Listen for how the same story acquires new details every time he tells it.
Come on, come on, come on. Give me your hand, sir, give me your hand,
sir. An early stirrer, by the rood! And how doth my good cousin
Silence?
Come on, come on, come on. Give me your hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early riser, by God! And how is my good cousin Silence?
Hey, hey, come here. Shake my hand, shake it. You're up early! How's my cousin Silence doing?
dude come on shake my hand you're up early how's silence?
Silence is Shallow's cousin and foil — a man of few words in a scene full of chatter. His brevity is the joke, but it's also accurate: he's the only one here who doesn't embellish. 'We shall all follow, cousin' is a quieter observation about death than anything Shallow says.
Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.
Good morning, good cousin Shallow.
Morning, cousin Shallow.
hey shallow
And how doth my cousin, your bedfellow? And your fairest daughter and
mine, my god-daughter Ellen?
And how is my cousin, your wife? And your most beautiful daughter and mine, my godchild Ellen?
How's your wife doing? And how about our goddaughter Ellen?
how's your wife? how's ellen?
Alas, a black ousel, cousin Shallow!
Sadly, a dark fate, cousin Shallow.
I'm sad to say something bad happened, cousin.
bad news cousin
By yea and no, sir, I dare say my cousin William is become a good
scholar. He is at Oxford still, is he not?
I'm absolutely certain, sir, that my cousin William has turned into quite an accomplished scholar. Oxford continues to be his residence, does it not?
I'm pretty sure my cousin William's doing well at school. He's still at Oxford, right?
william's doing great still at oxford?
Indeed, sir, to my cost.
Yes, sir, and it has been quite expensive for me.
Yeah, and it's costing me money.
yep, costing me
He must, then, to the Inns o’ Court shortly. I was once of Clement’s
Inn, where I think they will talk of mad Shallow yet.
He must then go to the Inns of Court soon. I was once at Clement's Inn, where I think they will still talk of wild Shallow.
He's gotta go to law school soon. I was at Clement's Inn back in the day, and they still tell stories about crazy Shallow.
gotta go to law school i was at clement's inn they still talk about me lol
You were called “lusty Shallow” then, cousin.
Back in those days, cousin, people gave you the nickname "lusty Shallow."
You used to be called "lusty Shallow" back then, remember?
they called you lusty shallow
By the mass, I was called anything, and I would have done anything
indeed too, and roundly too. There was I, and little John Doit of
Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and Will
Squele, a Cotswold man. You had not four such swinge-bucklers in all
the Inns o’ Court again. And I may say to you, we knew where the
bona-robas were and had the best of them all at commandment. Then was
Jack Falstaff, now Sir John, a boy, and page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of
Norfolk.
I went by all kinds of names, and honestly I'd have tried anything, recklessly too. My crew included little John Doit from Staffordshire, dark George Barnes, Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele from the Cotswolds. You wouldn't have found four wilder troublemakers across the entire legal profession. I can tell you we were aware of where all the attractive women could be found, and we managed to get the finest ones whenever we wanted. As for Jack Falstaff—he goes by Sir John now—he was merely a young servant to Thomas Mowbray, the Duke of Norfolk, in those times.
I got called all kinds of things, and I did everything—boldly too. There was me, and little John Doit from Staffordshire, and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and Will Squele from Cotswold. You couldn't find four wilder guys in all the law schools. We knew where all the prettiest women were and had our pick of them. Back then Jack Falstaff—now Sir John—was just a kid working for Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.
i was wild man did everything knew all the best women falstaff was just a kid then
This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon about soldiers?
This Sir John, cousin, who is coming here soon to talk about soldiers?
Is this Sir John the same guy who's coming here to recruit soldiers?
this the guy recruiting soldiers?
The same Sir John, the very same. I see him break Scoggin’s head at the
court gate, when he was a crack not thus high; and the very same day
did I fight with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray’s Inn.
Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I have spent! And to see how many of my
old acquaintance are dead!
The same Sir John, the very same. I saw him break Scoggin's head at the court gate when he was a boy just that tall; and the very same day I fought with one Sampson Stockfish, a fruit seller, behind Gray's Inn. God, the wild days I have spent! And to see how many of my old friends are dead!
That's the same Sir John. I watched him smash Scoggin's head in at the court gate when he was just a tiny kid; and that same day I beat up Sampson Stockfish, a fruit seller, behind Gray's Inn. Man, those were crazy days! And now so many of my old friends are dead.
same guy saw him fight as a kid beat up a fruit seller that day crazy times so many friends gone now
We shall all follow, cousin.
Eventually everyone will end up the same way, cousin.
We're all going to die someday, cousin.
we're all gonna die
Certain, ’tis certain, very sure, very sure. Death, as the Psalmist
saith, is certain to all, all shall die. How a good yoke of bullocks at
Stamford fair?
Certain, it is certain, very sure, very sure. Death, as the Psalmist says, is certain to all, all shall die. How much does a good yoke of oxen cost at Stamford fair?
Yeah, it's definitely for sure. Death, like the Bible says, happens to everyone—we all die. So how much are oxen going for at Stamford fair?
death is for sure everyone dies how much are oxen at stamford?
By my troth, I was not there.
By my faith, I was not there.
I wasn't at the fair, honestly.
wasn't there
Death is certain. Is old Double of your town living yet?
Death is certain. Is old Double from your town still alive?
Death comes for everyone. Is old Double still around?
is old double still alive?
Dead, sir.
Dead, sir.
Dead, sir.
dead, sir.
Jesu, Jesu, dead! He drew a good bow, and dead! He shot a fine shoot.
John a Gaunt loved him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead!
He would have clapped i’ th’ clout at twelve score, and carried you a
forehand shaft a fourteen and fourteen and a half, that it would have
done a man’s heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?
God, god, dead! He drew a good bow, and dead! He shot a fine shot. John of Gaunt loved him well, and bet much money on him. Dead! He would have hit the target at two hundred and forty yards, and carried you a forehand arrow at two hundred and eighty yards, and another at two hundred and ninety yards, that it would have made a man's heart glad to see. How much do a score of sheep cost now?
Man, he's dead! And he was a great archer too. John of Gaunt loved him and bet big money on him. Dead! He could hit a target from way far away, farther than you'd believe, really long shots. It was amazing to watch. So what are sheep going for these days?
he's dead great archer john loved him could shoot forever what about sheep prices?
Thereafter as they be; a score of good ewes may be worth ten pounds.
It depends how good they are; a score of good sheep might be worth ten pounds.
Depends on the quality, but you'd get maybe ten pounds for twenty good sheep.
depends 20 good sheep = 10 pounds
And is old Double dead?
So old Double has passed away then?
So Double's really dead?
double's dead?
Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as I think.
If I'm not mistaken, a couple of Falstaff's servants are approaching.
Here come two of Falstaff's guys, I think.
falstaff's men r here
Good morrow, honest gentlemen.
Good morning, honest gentlemen.
Good morning, you two.
morning
I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?
I ask you, which is Justice Shallow?
Which one of you is Justice Shallow?
who's shallow?
I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of this county, and one of the
King’s justices of the peace. What is your good pleasure with me?
My name is Robert Shallow, sir. I am a gentleman of modest means in this county, serving the King as a justice of the peace. What brings you to see me?
I'm Robert Shallow, a local official and judge. What do you need from me?
i'm robert shallow justice of the peace what do you want?
The five recruits — Mouldy, Shadow, Wart, Feeble, Bullcalf — have names that are comic inventions, but the system they represent was real. Elizabethan military conscription was notoriously corrupt: men with money could buy their way out (as Mouldy and Bullcalf do), leaving the poorest and weakest to go. Falstaff explicitly prefers to take the unfit because they are easier to manage and less likely to survive to claim their pay. Shakespeare is doing something unusual here: encoding a genuine political critique inside a comedy. The jokes about names don't hide the fact that real men are being selected — arbitrarily, corruptly — for a war they have nothing to do with.
My captain, sir, commends him to you, my captain, Sir John Falstaff, a
tall gentleman, by heaven, and a most gallant leader.
My captain, sir, greets you. My captain, Sir John Falstaff, a tall gentleman, by God, and a most gallant leader.
My captain says hello. That's Sir John Falstaff—impressive guy, really talented leader.
captain says hello it's falstaff tall impressive guy
He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good backsword man. How doth the
good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife doth?
He greets me well, sir. I knew him as a good sword fighter. How is the good knight? May I ask how my lady his wife is doing?
That's nice of him. I remember him being a great fighter. How's he doing? And how's his wife?
cool he was a great fighter how's he? how's his wife?
Sir, pardon. A soldier is better accommodated than with a wife.
Sir, pardon me. A soldier is better equipped than with a wife.
Actually, a soldier's better off without a wife.
soldier doesn't need a wife
It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said indeed too. “Better
accommodated!” It is good, yea indeed, is it. Good phrases are surely,
and ever were, very commendable. “Accommodated.” It comes of
_accommodo_. Very good, a good phrase.
That is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said indeed too. "Better equipped!" It is good, yes indeed, it is. Good words are surely, and ever were, very praiseworthy. "Equipped." It comes from the Latin word. Very good, a good word.
That's a good point, really. "Better equipped"—that's a great way to put it. Good words are always worth praising. "Equipped" is a quality word, you know?
good point "equipped" is a great word words matter
Pardon, sir, I have heard the word—phrase call you it? By this day, I
know not the phrase, but I will maintain the word with my sword to be a
soldier-like word, and a word of exceeding good command, by heaven.
Accommodated, that is when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or when
a man is being whereby he may be thought to be accommodated; which is
an excellent thing.
Pardon, sir, I have heard the word—phrase you call it? By this day, I do not know the phrase, but I will defend the word with my sword to be a soldierly word, and a word of excellent military meaning, by God. Equipped, that is when a man is, as they say, equipped, or when a man is being whereby he may be thought to be equipped; which is an excellent thing.
Sorry, I've heard the word—or phrase as you call it? Honestly, I don't know much about phrases, but I'll fight for this word as a perfect military term. "Equipped" means when a guy is equipped, or when someone could be considered equipped, you know? It's an excellent thing.
heard the word it's military language describes equipped soldiers excellent thing
It is very just.
That is a most reasonable and proper observation.
That's absolutely right.
yep that's right
Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your good hand, give me your
worship’s good hand. By my troth, you like well and bear your years
very well. Welcome, good Sir John.
Look, here comes good Sir John. Give me your hand. Give me your hand, sir. By my word, you're looking well and you're aging beautifully. Welcome, good Sir John.
Here comes the good Sir John! Come on, let me shake your hand. By God, you're looking great and wearing your years really well. Welcome, Sir John!
good sir john shake my hand you're looking great aging well too welcome
I am glad to see you well, good Master Robert Shallow. Master Surecard,
as I think?
I am pleased to find you in good health, Master Robert Shallow. If I am not mistaken, you are Master Surecard?
Good to see you, Master Shallow. And you're Master Surecard, right?
good to see you shallow you're surecard?
No, Sir John, it is my cousin Silence, in commission with me.
No, Sir John, it is my cousin Silence, serving with me as a judge.
No, Sir John, this is my cousin Silence—he's working with me as a judge.
nah that's my cousin silence judge with me
Good Master Silence, it well befits you should be of the peace.
Good Master Silence, it is right that you should be a judge.
Master Silence, you're perfect for this job.
silence you're perfect for this
Your good worship is welcome.
Your respect is welcome.
Thanks for the kind words.
thanks
Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me here half a
dozen sufficient men?
Goodness, it is hot weather, gentlemen. Have you provided me here half a dozen qualified men?
Man, it's hot out here. Do you have about six good soldiers for me?
it's hot got six soldiers?
Marry, have we, sir. Will you sit?
Yes, indeed, sir. Will you sit?
Yeah, we do, sir. Want to sit?
yep wanna sit?
Let me see them, I beseech you.
Let me see them, I ask you.
Let me see them.
show me
Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Let me see, let
me see, let me see. So, so, so, so, so, so, so. Yea, marry, sir: Ralph
Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let
me see; where is Mouldy?
Where is the list? Where is the list? Where is the list? Let me see, let me see, let me see. Very good, very good, very good, very good, very good, very good, very good. Yes, very well, sir: Ralph Mouldy! Let them appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let me see; where is Mouldy?
Where's the list? Where's the list? Let me see, let me see. Okay, okay, okay. Yes, very good: Ralph Mouldy! Come on, let them step forward when I call. Where's Mouldy?
where's the list rolph mouldy step up
Here, an it please you.
Here, if it please you.
Here, sir.
here
What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed fellow, young, strong, and of
good friends.
What do you think, Sir John? A well-built fellow, young, strong, and from good family.
What do you think, Sir John? Good-looking guy, young, strong, comes from a solid family.
good build young strong good family
Is thy name Mouldy?
Is your name Mouldy?
You're Mouldy?
you mouldy?
Yea, an’t please you.
Yes, if it please you.
Yeah, sir.
yep
’Tis the more time thou wert used.
Then it is all the more reason you should be used.
Well then, you're definitely ready to go into service.
you're ready to go
Ha, ha, ha! most excellent, i’ faith! Things that are mouldy lack use.
Very singular good, in faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.
Ha, ha, ha! Most excellent, in faith! Things that are moldy lack use. Very clever indeed, in faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.
Ha! That's brilliant! Moldy things don't get used—perfect! Really good joke, Sir John, really good.
lol brilliant moldy = not used great joke
Prick him.
Prick him.
Prick him.
prick him.
I was pricked well enough before, an you could have let me alone. My
old dame will be undone now for one to do her husbandry and her
drudgery. You need not to have pricked me, there are other men fitter
to go out than I.
I was marked as fit enough before, if you could have left me alone. My old lady will be ruined now because she has no one to run her farm and do her hard work. You did not need to mark me; there are other men more suitable to go out than I.
I was doing fine before, if you'd just left me alone. My mom's gonna lose the farm now because I'm the only one working it. You didn't have to pick me—there are better guys here than me.
i was fine my mom needs me other guys are better
Go to. Peace, Mouldy; you shall go. Mouldy, it is time you were spent.
Go on. Be quiet, Mouldy; you will go. Mouldy, it is time you were deployed.
Okay, quiet, Mouldy. You're going. It's time you got some action.
you're going time to see action
Spent?
Spent?
Spent?
spent?
In a scene full of evasion, the one character who refuses to evade is the one everyone laughs at. Feeble's speech — 'A man can die but once. We owe God a death' — has no irony in it. He means it. He's not brave because he's strong; he's brave because he's accepted the terms of existence. Shakespeare uses this technique elsewhere (the gravedigger in Hamlet, the porter in Macbeth): the lowliest figure carries the deepest truth. Feeble is a woman's tailor with nothing to prove, and he faces death more squarely than any of the lords in this play.
Peace, fellow, peace. Stand aside. Know you where you are? For
th’other, Sir John. Let me see: Simon Shadow!
Quiet, man, quiet. Step aside. Do you know where you are? For the next one, Sir John. Let me see: Simon Shadow!
Okay, quiet. Move aside. Know your place. Next one, Sir John. Simon Shadow!
quiet step aside simon shadow next
Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He’s like to be a cold
soldier.
Yes, indeed, let me have him to stand by me. He looks like he will be a useless soldier.
Yeah, let me take him. He looks like he'll be pretty useless in a fight.
i'll take him he's gonna be useless
Where’s Shadow?
Where’s Shadow?
Where’s Shadow?
where’s shadow?
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
here, sir.
Shadow, whose son art thou?
Shadow, whose son are you?
Shadow, who's your father?
who's your dad?
My mother’s son, sir.
I am the child of my mother, sir.
I'm the son of my mother, sir.
born to my mom
Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy father’s shadow. So the son of
the female is the shadow of the male. It is often so indeed, but much
of the father’s substance!
Your mother's son! That figures, and your father's shadow. So the son of the female is the shadow of the male. It often is true, but lacking much of the father's substance!
Your mother's son! That makes sense—you're your father's shadow. Basically, kids are just images of their dads. Often true, but you lack all the strength and substance.
so you're just your dad's shadow kids are like that no substance tho
Do you like him, Sir John?
Are you satisfied with this candidate, Sir John?
What do you think of him, Sir John?
you like him?
Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him, for we have a number of
shadows to fill up the muster-book.
Shadow will work for summer. Mark him, because we have a lot of shadows to fill up the roster.
Shadow's good for summer duty. Mark him down—we need to pad the numbers anyway.
shadow for summer mark him need bodies
Thomas Wart!
Thomas Wart!
Thomas Wart!
thomas wart!
Where’s he?
Where’s he?
Where’s he?
where’s he?
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
here, sir.
Is thy name Wart?
Is your name Wart?
You're Wart?
you wart?
Yea, sir.
Yea, sir.
Yea, sir.
yea, sir.
Thou art a very ragged wart.
You are a very ragged wart.
You're one sorry-looking guy.
you look rough
Shall I prick him, Sir John?
Shall I mark him for service, Sir John?
Should I sign him up, Sir John?
should i sign him?
It were superfluous, for his apparel is built upon his back, and the
whole frame stands upon pins. Prick him no more.
It would be pointless, because his clothes are all he has, and the whole thing just barely holds together with pins. Do not mark him.
No point—his clothes are falling apart and are all he's got. Just leave him alone.
nah clothes r his only asset they're falling apart
Ha, ha, ha! You can do it, sir, you can do it. I commend you well.
Francis Feeble!
Ha, ha, ha! Excellent work, sir, absolutely first-rate. I must commend you highly. Francis Feeble!
Ha! That's great, Sir John. You're really good at this. Francis Feeble!
lol great joke francis feeble next
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
here, sir.
What trade art thou, Feeble?
What is your trade, Feeble?
What's your job, Feeble?
what do you do?
A woman’s tailor, sir.
I am a tailor who specializes in ladies' garments, sir.
I'm a tailor for women's clothes, sir.
women's tailor
Shall I prick him, sir?
Shall I mark him for service, sir?
Should I sign him up, sir?
sign him up?
You may; but if he had been a man’s tailor, he’d ha’ pricked you. Wilt
thou make as many holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in a
woman’s petticoat?
You may, but if he had been a man's tailor, he would have already taken that action. Will you make as many cuts in an enemy's formation as you have done in a woman's petticoat?
Sure, but if he were a man's tailor, he'd already have done it. Can you rip through enemy soldiers the way you rip through women's dresses?
if he was a man's tailor he'd do it can you cut thru enemies like dresses?
I will do my good will, sir, you can have no more.
I will do my best, sir, you can ask no more.
I'll give it my best shot, sir. That's all you can ask.
i'll try my best
Well said, good woman’s tailor! Well said, courageous Feeble! Thou wilt
be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. Prick the
woman’s tailor: well, Master Shallow, deep, Master Shallow.
Well said, good woman's tailor! Well said, courageous Feeble! You will be as brave as the angry dove or the most noble mouse. Mark the woman's tailor: very deep, Master Shallow.
Good answer, Feeble! Brave like an angry dove or a superhero mouse. You'll do. Mark him down—nicely done, Shallow.
brave as a mad dove or a badass mouse good stuff
I would Wart might have gone, sir.
I wish Wart could have gone instead, sir.
I wish you'd taken Wart instead, sir.
wish you took wart
Falstaff's final portrait of Shallow — the forked radish, the assembled cheese-rind, the man who was invisible to 'thick sight' — is devastating precisely because it's specific. Shallow has spent this entire scene constructing a legendary past self: mad Shallow, lusty Shallow, the friend of Falstaff, the great man who once slept in a windmill. Falstaff remembers the actual Shallow: so thin he barely existed, a joke among the women, a late follower of every fashion. Now that actual nothing has become Justice Shallow with land and cattle. The irony Falstaff misses — or enjoys — is that he is doing exactly what Shallow does: narrating a larger self. The difference is that Falstaff is conscious of the performance.
I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou mightst mend him and make
him fit to go. I cannot put him to a private soldier that is the leader
of so many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible Feeble.
I wish you were a man's tailor, so you could fix him and make him fit to serve. I cannot send him into the regular ranks when he is the leader of so many thousands. That will have to be enough, most courageous Feeble.
I wish you were a man's tailor so you could fix him up—he's way too broken. Can't put him under my command when he's leading thousands. That's all, Feeble.
wish you could fix him he's too broken can't be under my command
It shall suffice, sir.
It will be enough, sir.
Okay, sir.
ok
I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. Who is next?
I owe you something, good Feeble. Who is next?
I'm grateful to you, Feeble. Who's next?
thanks feeble who's next?
Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green!
Peter Bullcalf from the village green!
Peter Bullcalf!
bullcalf's next
Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.
Yes, indeed, let us see Bullcalf.
Let's see Bullcalf.
bring him out
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
Here, sir.
here, sir.
Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick me Bullcalf till he roar again.
Before God, a promising fellow! Come, mark me Bullcalf until he howls.
This looks like a solid guy! Come on, rough him up until he yells.
he looks good mark him til he yells
O Lord! good my lord captain—
Oh God! Good my lord captain—
Oh God! Sir, please—
god no sir please
What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?
What, are you howling before you are marked?
What, you're yelling before I even touched you?
yelling already?
O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man.
Oh God, sir, I am a sick man.
Sir, I'm really sick.
i'm sick man
What disease hast thou?
What sickness do you have?
What's wrong with you?
what's wrong?
A whoreson cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught with ringing in the
King’s affairs upon his coronation day, sir.
A damned cold, sir, a cough, sir, which I caught from shouting during the King's business at his coronation day, sir.
A terrible cold, sir, this cough I got from yelling at the King's coronation, sir.
bad cold & cough got it at the coronation
Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown; we will have away thy cold,
and I will take such order that thy friends shall ring for thee. Is
here all?
Come, you shall go to war in a robe; we will get rid of your cold, and I will make sure that your friends will ring bells for you. Is that all?
Fine, go to war in your robe then—we'll cure that cold and make sure they ring the funeral bells for you. That all?
go to war in a robe we'll get rid of your cold they'll ring bells 4 you
Here is two more called than your number; you must have but four here,
sir; and so, I pray you, go in with me to dinner.
There are two more called than your number; you must have only four here, sir; and so, I pray you, go inside with me to dinner.
We've got two extra guys here—you only need four, sir. Come on, let's go eat dinner.
we got 2 extra you need 4 let's eat
Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to
see you, by my troth, Master Shallow.
Come, I will drink with you, but I cannot stay for dinner. I am glad to see you, by my faith, Master Shallow.
I'll have a drink with you, but I gotta go. It's good to see you, Shallow.
i'll drink can't stay for food good to see you
O, Sir John, do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill in
Saint George’s Field?
Oh, Sir John, do you remember when we slept all night in the windmill in Saint George's Field?
Sir John, remember when we spent the whole night in that windmill in Saint George's Field?
remember the windmill all night saint george's field?
No more of that, good Master Shallow, no more of that.
Let us not dwell on such memories, Master Shallow. Such discussions are best left alone.
Let's not talk about that, Shallow. Drop it.
nah don't talk about that
Ha, ’twas a merry night. And is Jane Nightwork alive?
Ha, it was a fun night. And is Jane Nightwork still alive?
That was a wild night though. Is Jane Nightwork still around?
that was fun jane nightwork still around?
She lives, Master Shallow.
She's alive, Master Shallow.
She's still around.
she's still alive
She never could away with me.
She never could stand me.
She couldn't stand me.
she hated me
Never, never; she would always say she could not abide Master Shallow.
Never, never. She would always say she couldn't bear Master Shallow.
Never, not once. She always said she couldn't stand you.
nah she'd always say u were unbearable
By the mass, I could anger her to th’ heart. She was then a bona-roba.
Doth she hold her own well?
By God, I could make her furious. She was then a high-class woman. Does she still hold her own well?
By God, I could really get under her skin. She was a classy woman back then. Is she doing okay?
god i could make her so mad. she was hot back then. she doing alright?
Old, old, Master Shallow.
She's old now, Master Shallow.
Yeah, she's gotten pretty old.
she's way old now
Nay, she must be old, she cannot choose but be old, certain she’s old,
and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement’s
Inn.
Of course she must be old; she can't help but be old. Certainly she's old. And she had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn.
Of course she's old. She can't be anything else but old. She definitely has to be old. And she had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I came to Clement's Inn.
yeah shes old for sure. she had robin w nightwork back before i went to clement's inn
That’s fifty-five year ago.
That's fifty-five years ago.
That was fifty-five years ago.
that was like 55 years ago
Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I
have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?
Oh, cousin Silence, if only you had seen what this knight and I have seen! Oh, Sir John, didn't I do well?
Oh, cousin Silence, wish you could've seen all the things this knight and I have seen! Sir John, didn't I do well?
oh man u shoulda seen what we did. did i tell it good?
The play's treatment of time reaches its emotional peak not in Henry IV's great meditation on the 'book of fate' (3-1), but in this comedy scene, in six words. 'We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow' is Falstaff at his most unguarded. The midnight chimes are the sound of a life spent in pleasure, at hours when respectable people were asleep, in London taverns that no longer exist for either of them. Shallow receives the line with floods of nostalgic enthusiasm. Falstaff doesn't elaborate. He doesn't need to. The line does what very few lines in Shakespeare do: it makes the past feel tangible and gone simultaneously. Orson Welles understood this, naming his entire Falstaff film after it.
We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.
We have heard the church bells ring at midnight, Master Shallow.
We've stayed up till midnight ringing church bells, Shallow.
we've heard the midnight bells, man
That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, Sir John, we have.
Our watchword was “Hem boys!” Come, let’s to dinner; come, let’s to
dinner. Jesus, the days that we have seen! Come, come.
Indeed we have, indeed we have, indeed we have! In faith, Sir John, we have. Our signal was "Hey boys!" Come, let's go to dinner. Come, let's go to dinner. What days we have seen! Come, come.
Yes we have, yes we have! I swear, Sir John, we sure have. Our watchword was "Hey boys!" Come on, let's go eat. Come on, let's grab dinner. What amazing days we've had! Come on.
yes we did!! remember "hey boys"? lets eat. those were the days man
Good Master Corporate Bardolph, stand my friend; and here’s four Harry
ten shillings in French crowns for you. In very truth, sir, I had as
lief be hanged, sir, as go. And yet, for mine own part, sir, I do not
care; but rather because I am unwilling, and, for mine own part, have a
desire to stay with my friends; else, sir, I did not care, for mine own
part, so much.
Good Master Bardolph, be my friend. Here are forty shillings in French coins for you. Honestly, I'd rather be hanged than go. But for my own part, I don't mind. But rather because I'm unwilling, and for my part, I want to stay with my friends. Otherwise, for my part, I wouldn't care so much.
Please, Master Bardolph, help me out. Here's forty shillings in French coins for you. Truth is, I'd rather hang than be drafted. But honestly, I don't care that much. Except I really don't want to go, and I want to stay with my friends. Otherwise I wouldn't care so much.
please man help me out. here's 40 shillings. id rather die. i just wanna stay w my crew
Go to, stand aside.
Go on, stand over there.
Go on, move aside.
move it
And, good Master Corporal Captain, for my old dame’s sake, stand my
friend. She has nobody to do anything about her when I am gone, and she
is old, and cannot help herself. You shall have forty, sir.
And, good Master Captain, for my old mother's sake, be my friend. She has nobody to help her when I'm gone, and she's old and can't help herself. You'll have forty shillings.
Please, Master Captain, for my old mother's sake, help me out. She's got nobody to take care of her when I'm gone, and she's old and can't fend for herself. I'll give you forty shillings.
please man help me out. my moms alone & old & cant take care of herself. ill give u 40 shillings
Go to, stand aside.
Go on, stand over there.
Go on, move aside.
move it
By my troth, I care not. A man can die but once. We owe God a death.
I’ll ne’er bear a base mind. An ’t be my destiny, so; an ’t be not, so.
No man’s too good to serve’s prince, and let it go which way it will,
he that dies this year is quit for the next.
By my word, I don't mind. A man can only die once. We owe God a death. I'll never be ashamed. If it's my destiny, so be it. If it's not, so be it. No man is too good to serve his prince. Whatever happens, he who dies this year is excused the next.
Honestly, I don't care. A man dies once. We all owe God a death. I won't be ashamed. If it's my fate, so be it. If not, so be it. Nobody's too important to serve the prince. Whatever happens, you die once and you're done.
honestly dont care. gotta die sometime. its my duty. if this is it then ok
Well said, th’art a good fellow.
Well said. You're a good fellow.
That's good. You're a good man.
nice man ur solid
Faith, I’ll bear no base mind.
I promise, I won't be ashamed.
I swear, I won't be a coward.
im not gonna chicken out
Come, sir, which men shall I have?
Come, sir. Which men should I take?
So, which men are you giving me?
which guys do i get?
Four of which you please.
Four of whichever you choose.
Pick any four you want.
pick 4
Sir, a word with you. I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf.
Sir, a word with you. I have three pounds to pay for Mouldy and Bullcalf's release.
Sir, can I talk to you? I've got three pounds to get Mouldy and Bullcalf off the hook.
sir i got 3 pounds to free them 2 guys
Go to, well.
Very well.
Alright.
ok
Come, Sir John, which four will you have?
Come, Sir John. Which four will you take?
So, Sir John, which four do you want?
which 4 u want?
Do you choose for me.
Make a selection for me.
You pick for me.
u pick
Marry, then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.
Well then, Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.
Alright then, I'd say Mouldy, Bullcalf, Feeble, and Shadow.
mouldy, bullcalf, feeble, shadow
Mouldy and Bullcalf: for you, Mouldy, stay at home till you are past
service; and for your part, Bullcalf, grow till you come unto it. I
will none of you.
Mouldy and Bullcalf: You, Mouldy, stay at home until you're too old for service. And you, Bullcalf, grow up until you're old enough for it. I don't want any of you.
Not Mouldy and Bullcalf. Mouldy, you stay home until you're too old anyway. And Bullcalf, come back when you've grown up. I don't want either of you.
not mouldy & bullcalf. mouldy stay home. bullcalf come back when ur older. nope
Sir John, Sir John, do not yourself wrong. They are your likeliest men,
and I would have you served with the best.
Sir John, Sir John, don't cheat yourself. They are your best men, and I would have you served with the finest.
Sir John, Sir John, don't short yourself. They're your best options, and I want you to have the best soldiers.
dont be dumb. theyre ur best guys
Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Care I for the
limb, the thews, the stature, bulk, and big assemblance of a man? Give
me the spirit, Master Shallow. Here’s Wart. You see what a ragged
appearance it is. He shall charge you and discharge you with the motion
of a pewterer’s hammer, come off and on swifter than he that gibbets on
the brewer’s bucket. And this same half-faced fellow, Shadow; give me
this man. He presents no mark to the enemy. The foeman may with as
great aim level at the edge of a penknife. And for a retreat, how
swiftly will this Feeble, the woman’s tailor, run off! O, give me the
spare men, and spare me the great ones. Put me a caliver into Wart’s
hand, Bardolph.
Will you tell me, Master Shallow, how to choose a man? Do I care about limbs, muscles, height, bulk, and impressive appearance? Give me spirit, Master Shallow. Look at Wart. See what a scrawny appearance he has. He'll fire his weapon and reload faster than a hammer strikes, moving quicker than someone dropping things from a brewery bucket. And this same thin-faced fellow, Shadow. Give me this man. He presents no target to the enemy. The opponent could aim at the edge of a penknife with as much success. And for retreat, how quickly will Feeble, the tailor, run away! Give me small men, and spare me the big ones. Put a gun in Wart's hand, Bardolph.
Listen, Master Shallow, who says you pick soldiers by strength? Do I care about big arms, muscles, height, or looking tough? I want spirit, Master Shallow. Look at Wart. Sure, he looks skinny and ragged. But he can fire and reload his gun faster than a hammer swings—faster than someone throwing stuff off a brewery bucket. And this skinny guy, Shadow? Give me him. He's such a thin target the enemy can't even hit him. They'd have better luck aiming at a penknife blade. And Feeble, the tailor? He can run away faster than anyone. Give me the small, quick men. Keep the big ones. Put a gun in Wart's hand, Bardolph.
skill > looks bro. wart looks weak but hes fast & accurate. shadow's so thin he's impossible to hit. feeble runs fast. gimme the small guys not the big ones
Hold, Wart. Traverse. Thas, thas, thas.
Hold, Wart. Move sideways. That's good, that's good, that's good.
Hold on, Wart. Move to the side. That's it, that's it, that's it.
hold. move sideways. good good good
Come, manage me your caliver. So, very well, go to, very good,
exceeding good. O, give me always a little, lean, old, chopt, bald
shot. Well said, i’ faith, Wart. Th’art a good scab. Hold, there’s a
tester for thee.
Come, handle your gun for me. Yes, very well, well done, very good, excellent. Oh, always give me a small, thin, experienced, worn-out, bald shooter. Well done, in faith, Wart. You're a good soldier. Here, there's a coin for you.
Come on, show me how you handle that gun. Yes, very good, nice work, excellent. Oh, I want the small, wiry, weathered, bald shot—the old guys. Well done, Wart. You're solid. Here's a coin for you.
show me ur gun skills. perfect. i like tough small guys not big ones. nice work wart. heres money
He is not his craft’s master, he doth not do it right. I remember at
Mile-End Green, when I lay at Clement’s Inn—I was then Sir Dagonet in
Arthur’s show—there was a little quiver fellow, and he would manage you
his piece thus. And he would about and about, and come you in and come
you in. “Rah, tah, tah,” would he say. “Bounce” would he say; and away
again would he go, and again would he come. I shall ne’er see such a
fellow.
He's not a master of his craft. He doesn't do it right. I remember at Mile-End Green, when I was at Clement's Inn—I was Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show then—there was a small, nimble fellow, and he would handle his gun like this. And he would move about and about, coming in and coming in. "Rah, tah, tah," he would say. "Bounce," he would say, and away he'd go again, and come back again. I'll never see such a fellow.
He's not good at his job. He's not doing it right. I remember at Mile-End Green, back when I was at Clement's Inn—I was playing Sir Dagonet in Arthur's show—there was this quick little guy, and he'd handle his gun like this. He'd move back and forth, in and out. "Rah, tah, tah," he'd say. "Boom," he'd say, then off he'd go, and back again. I'll never see anyone like him again.
he's not doin it right. i remember this nimble guy @ mile-end who was so good w his gun. he'd go back n forth "rah tah tah" "boom" never seen anyone like him
These fellows will do well. Master Shallow. God keep you, Master
Silence: I will not use many words with you. Fare you well, gentlemen
both. I thank you. I must a dozen mile tonight. Bardolph, give the
soldiers coats.
These fellows will do well, Master Shallow. God keep you, Master Silence. I won't spend much time talking to you. Goodbye, both you gentlemen. Thank you. I must travel a dozen miles tonight. Bardolph, give the soldiers coats.
These guys will work out fine, Shallow. Take care, Master Silence. I won't hang around talking much. Goodbye, gentlemen both. Thanks. I've got to travel twelve miles tonight. Bardolph, get the soldiers some coats.
these guys r good. gotta go 12 miles tonight. give em coats
Sir John, the Lord bless you! God prosper your affairs! God send us
peace! At your return, visit our house, let our old acquaintance be
renewed. Peradventure I will with ye to the court.
Sir John, may the Lord bless you! May God make your business prosper! May God send us peace! When you return, visit our house. Let's renew our old friendship. Perhaps I'll go with you to court.
Sir John, God bless you! May your plans work out! I hope we get peace! When you come back, visit us. Let's pick up where we left off. Maybe I'll come along to court.
god bless u. hope ur good. come visit us when ur back. maybe ill go 2 court w u
Fore God, I would you would, Master Shallow.
By God, I wish you would, Master Shallow.
I really wish you would, Shallow.
i hope u do man
Go to, I have spoke at a word. God keep you.
Well, I've said my piece. God keep you.
Alright, I've said what I needed to. Take care.
ok ive said it all. bye
Fare you well, gentle gentlemen. [_Exeunt Justices_.] On, Bardolph,
lead the men away. [_Exeunt Bardolph, recruits, &c._] As I return, I
will fetch off these justices. I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow.
Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying! This same
starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of
his youth, and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street, and every
third word a lie, duer paid to the hearer than the Turk’s tribute. I do
remember him at Clement’s Inn, like a man made after supper of a
cheese-paring. When he was naked, he was, for all the world, like a
forked radish, with a head fantastically carved upon it with a knife.
He was so forlorn, that his dimensions to any thick sight were
invincible. He was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a
monkey, and the whores called him mandrake. He came ever in the
rearward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the overscutched
huswives that he heard the carmen whistle, and sware they were his
fancies or his good-nights. And now is this Vice’s dagger become a
squire, and talks as familiarly of John a Gaunt as if he had been sworn
brother to him, and I’ll be sworn he ne’er saw him but once in the
tilt-yard, and then he burst his head for crowding among the marshal’s
men. I saw it and told John a Gaunt he beat his own name, for you might
have thrust him and all his apparel into an eel-skin; the case of a
treble hautboy was a mansion for him, a court. And now has he land and
beefs. Well, I’ll be acquainted with him if I return, and ’t shall go
hard but I’ll make him a philosopher’s two stones to me. If the young
dace be a bait for the old pike, I see no reason in the law of nature
but I may snap at him. Let time shape, and there an end.
Goodbye, kind gentlemen. [Exit Justices.] Go on, Bardolph, march the men off. [Exit Bardolph, recruits, etc.] On my way back I'll squeeze these justices for all they're worth. I can see right to the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord, Lord, how prone we old men are to this habit of lying! This scrawny justice has done nothing but babble to me about how wild he was as a young man and the exploits he pulled off around Turnbull Street, and every third word a lie, delivered to the listener more punctually than the tribute paid to the Turkish sultan. I remember him at Clement's Inn, looking like a little figure someone carved after dinner out of a cheese rind. Naked, he looked for all the world like a forked radish with a head whittled onto it in some odd shape with a knife. He was so skinny that anyone with poor eyesight couldn't make him out at all. He was the very spirit of starvation, yet as randy as a monkey, and the prostitutes nicknamed him mandrake. He was always behind the fashion, and he'd sing to worn-out hussies the tunes he'd heard the cart drivers whistle, and swear they were his own love songs or serenades. And now this stick-thin prop dagger from a morality play has become a country squire, and talks about John of Gaunt as casually as if they'd been sworn brothers, and I'd bet my life he only ever saw him once, at the jousting ground, and got his head cracked there for pushing in among the marshal's men. I saw it, and I told John of Gaunt he was beating his own name, since the man was so gaunt you could have stuffed him and all his clothes into an eel-skin; the case of a little oboe would have been a mansion for him, a palace. And now he owns land and cattle. Well, I'll get friendly with him when I come back, and it'll be hard luck if I can't make him my double philosopher's stone, turning out gold for me. If the little young fish is bait for the old pike, I see no reason in nature's law why I shouldn't bite at him. Let time work it out, and that's that.
Bye now, lovely gentlemen. [The Justices leave.] Bardolph, get the men moving. [Bardolph and the recruits leave.] When I come back through here, I'm going to fleece these two. I've got Shallow completely figured out. God, we old guys just can't stop lying! That half-starved judge has spent the whole time bragging about what a wild kid he was and all his adventures in the red-light district, and every third word was a lie, paid out more reliably than taxes to the Sultan. I remember him in law school: he looked like a doll somebody whittled out of cheese rind after dinner. Without clothes he was basically a forked radish with a funny face carved on top. He was so thin you'd need good glasses to even see him. Famine in human form, but horny as a monkey, and the working girls called him 'mandrake.' He was always a step behind the trends, singing the songs he'd picked up from delivery drivers to tired old hookers and claiming he wrote them himself. And now this skinny little joke of a man is a landowner, name-dropping John of Gaunt like they were best buddies, when I swear he saw him exactly once, at a tournament, where he got his head busted for shoving into the officials' crowd. I was there, and I told Gaunt he was beating up his own name, because Shallow was so gaunt you could've fit him and his whole wardrobe into an eel-skin; an oboe case would've been a palace for him. And now he's got property and cattle. Fine. I'll cozy up to him on my way back, and I'll be amazed if I can't turn him into my personal gold mine. If the little fish is bait for the big pike, nature says I'm allowed to take a bite. We'll see how it plays out, end of story.
bye guys 👋 gonna milk shallow for cash on my way back this man LIES nonstop about his wild youth he was literally a radish w a face carved on now he's rich + namedropping gaunt little fish, meet big fish 🐟 we'll see
The Reckoning
This scene is pure comic relief placed exactly where relief is needed — between Henry IV's sleepless night and the rebel camp at Gaultree. But it earns its place. The conscription parade is genuinely funny, and Feeble's speech about death ('We owe God a death') is one of the play's most unexpectedly moving moments. And Falstaff's closing soliloquy — the portrait of Shallow as a forked radish, a man made from a cheese-paring — is some of his finest prose. Underneath the comedy is something darker: these are real men being sent to die in a war they have nothing to do with.
If this happened today…
A military contractor arrives in a small town to recruit. The local official who's hosting him is a nostalgic bore who keeps reminiscing about the wild times they apparently had together fifty years ago — none of which the contractor remembers happening the way the official tells it. The contractor interviews five candidates: one is fine, one is technically a shadow of a man, one is a tailor, one has a cold from ringing church bells. Two of them bribe their way out. The tailor turns out to have more dignity than all of them. After everyone leaves, the contractor turns to camera and describes the official as a forked radish.