Sir, your glove.
Sir, your glove.
sir, your glove.
sir, your glove.
Not mine. My gloves are on.
Not mine. My gloves are on.
not mine. my gloves are on.
not mine. my gloves are on.
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
why, then, this may be yours, for this is but one.
Ha? Let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine.
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
Ha? Let me see. Ay, give it me, it’s mine. Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
ha? let me see. ay, give it me, it’s mine. sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! ah, silvia, silvia!
ha? let me see. ay, give it me, it’s mine. sweet ornament that decks a thing divine! ah, silvia, silvia!
How now, sirrah?
How now, sirrah?
how now, sirrah?
how now, sirrah?
She is not within hearing, sir.
She is not within hearing, sir.
she is not within hearing, sir.
she is not within hearing, sir.
Why, sir, who bade you call her?
Why, sir, who bade you call her?
why, sir, who bade you call her?
why, sir, who bade you call her?
Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
Your worship, sir, or else I mistook.
your worship, sir, or else i mistook.
your worship, sir, or else i mistook.
Well, you’ll still be too forward.
Well, you’ll still be too forward.
well, you’ll still be too forward.
well, you’ll still be too forward.
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
And yet I was last chidden for being too slow.
and yet i was last chidden for being too slow.
and yet i was last chidden for being too slow.
Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
Go to, sir. Tell me, do you know Madam Silvia?
go to, sir. tell me, do you know madam silvia?
go to, sir. tell me, do you know madam silvia?
She that your worship loves?
She that your worship loves?
she that your worship loves?
she that your worship loves?
Why, how know you that I am in love?
Why, how know you that I am in love?
why, how know you that i am in love?
why, how know you that i am in love?
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir
Proteus, to wreathe your arms like a malcontent; to relish a love-song,
like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the
pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his ABC; to weep,
like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that
takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling,
like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow
like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was
for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that,
when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his ABC; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. And now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like sir proteus, to wreathe your arms like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his abc; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at hallowmas. you were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when i look on you, i can hardly think you my master.
marry, by these special marks: first, you have learned, like sir proteus, to wreathe your arms like a malcontent; to relish a love-song, like a robin redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a schoolboy that had lost his abc; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at hallowmas. you were wont, when you laughed, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money. and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when i look on you, i can hardly think you my master.
Are all these things perceived in me?
Are all these things perceived in me?
are all these things perceived in me?
are all these things perceived in me?
They are all perceived without ye.
They are all perceived without ye.
they are all perceived without ye.
they are all perceived without ye.
Without me? They cannot.
Without me? They cannot.
without me? they cannot.
without me? they cannot.
Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for without you were so simple, none
else would. But you are so without these follies, that these follies
are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that
not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
Without you? Nay, that’s certain, for without you were so simple, none else would. But you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
without you? nay, that’s certain, for without you were so simple, none else would. but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
without you? nay, that’s certain, for without you were so simple, none else would. but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a physician to comment on your malady.
But tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia?
But tell me, dost you know my lady Silvia?
but tell me, dost you know my lady silvia?
but tell me, dost thou know my lady silvia?
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
She that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
she that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
she that you gaze on so as she sits at supper?
Hast thou observed that? Even she I mean.
Hast you observed that? Even she I mean.
hast you observed that? even she i mean.
hast thou observed that? even she i mean.
Why, sir, I know her not.
Why, sir, I know her not.
why, sir, i know her not.
why, sir, i know her not.
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
Dost you know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
dost you know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know’st her not?
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
is she not hard-favoured, sir?
is she not hard-favoured, sir?
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
Not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
not so fair, boy, as well-favoured.
Sir, I know that well enough.
Sir, I know that well enough.
sir, i know that well enough.
sir, i know that well enough.
What dost thou know?
What dost you know?
what dost you know?
what dost thou know?
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
That she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
that she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
that she is not so fair as, of you, well-favoured.
I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favour infinite.
I mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favour infinite.
i mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favour infinite.
i mean that her beauty is exquisite but her favour infinite.
That’s because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
That’s because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
that’s because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
that’s because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
How painted? And how out of count?
How painted? And how out of count?
how painted? and how out of count?
how painted? and how out of count?
Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her
beauty.
Marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
marry, sir, so painted to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Silvia's letter scheme is one of the cleverest moments in early Shakespeare. She cannot directly declare her love to a man — social convention forbids it. So she creates a situation where he declares it himself, then returns the declaration to him. It's a form of plausible deniability: if Valentine fails to understand (as he nearly does), she's given nothing away. If he understands, she's communicated perfectly without violating any rule. The scheme also tests him — does he have enough wit and sensitivity to read her meaning? Valentine needs Speed to explain it. He passes the test by a hair. Silvia throughout the play is the character who sees most clearly and speaks most directly — she's the one who calls Proteus out, refuses his advances, and makes her own escape plan. The letter trick is the first glimpse of that.
How esteem’st thou me? I account of her beauty.
How esteem’st you me? I account of her beauty.
how esteem’st you me? i account of her beauty.
how esteem’st thou me? i account of her beauty.
You never saw her since she was deformed.
You never saw her since she was deformed.
you never saw her since she was deformed.
you never saw her since she was deformed.
How long hath she been deformed?
How long has she been deformed?
how long has she been deformed?
how long hath she been deformed?
Ever since you loved her.
Ever since you loved her.
ever since you loved her.
ever since you loved her.
I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
i have loved her ever since i saw her, and still i see her beautiful.
i have loved her ever since i saw her, and still i see her beautiful.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
If you love her, you cannot see her.
if you love her, you cannot see her.
if you love her, you cannot see her.
Why?
Why?
why?
why?
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had
the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for
going ungartered!
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going ungartered!
because love is blind. o, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at sir proteus for going ungartered!
because love is blind. o, that you had mine eyes, or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to have when you chid at sir proteus for going ungartered!
What should I see then?
What should I see then?
what should i see then?
what should i see then?
Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in
love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot
see to put on your hose.
Your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
your own present folly and her passing deformity; for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see
to wipe my shoes.
Belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
belike, boy, then you are in love, for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
True, sir, I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for
my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
True, sir, I was in love with my bed. I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
true, sir, i was in love with my bed. i thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
true, sir, i was in love with my bed. i thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
In conclusion, I stand affected to her.
in conclusion, i stand affected to her.
in conclusion, i stand affected to her.
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
I would you were set, so your affection would cease.
i would you were set, so your affection would cease.
i would you were set, so your affection would cease.
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
And have you?
And have you?
and have you?
and have you?
I have.
I have.
i have.
i have.
Are they not lamely writ?
Are they not lamely writ?
are they not lamely writ?
are they not lamely writ?
No, boy, but as well as I can do them.
Peace, here she comes.
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace, here she comes.
no, boy, but as well as i can do them. peace, here she comes.
no, boy, but as well as i can do them. peace, here she comes.
Now will he interpret to her.
Now will he interpret to her.
now will he interpret to her.
now will he interpret to her.
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
Madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
madam and mistress, a thousand good-morrows.
Silvia speaks sparingly but with precision — every sentence does double work. Her letter-return gambit shows she's several steps ahead of everyone in the scene. Watch for how she communicates most when she seems to be saying least.
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
sir valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
sir valentine and servant, to you two thousand.
As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret nameless friend of yours,
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
As you enjoined me, I have writ your letter Unto the secret nameless friend of yours, Which I was much unwilling to proceed in But for my duty to your ladyship.
as you enjoined me, i have writ your letter unto the secret nameless friend of yours, which i was much unwilling to proceed in but for my duty to your ladyship.
as you enjoined me, i have writ your letter unto the secret nameless friend of yours, which i was much unwilling to proceed in but for my duty to your ladyship.
I thank you, gentle servant, ’tis very clerkly done.
I thank you, gentle servant, ’tis very clerkly done.
i thank you, gentle servant, ’tis very clerkly done.
i thank you, gentle servant, ’tis very clerkly done.
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off,
For, being ignorant to whom it goes,
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off, For, being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at random, very doubtfully.
now trust me, madam, it came hardly off, for, being ignorant to whom it goes, i writ at random, very doubtfully.
now trust me, madam, it came hardly off, for, being ignorant to whom it goes, i writ at random, very doubtfully.
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
Perchance you think too much of so much pains?
perchance you think too much of so much pains?
perchance you think too much of so much pains?
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write,
Please you command, a thousand times as much.
And yet—
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much. And yet—
no, madam; so it stead you, i will write, hey you command, a thousand times as much. and yet—
no, madam; so it stead you, i will write, please you command, a thousand times as much. and yet—
A pretty period. Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it. And yet I care not.
And yet take this again.
A pretty period. Well, I guess the sequel; And yet I will not name it. And yet I care not. And yet take this again.
a pretty period. well, i guess the sequel; and yet i will not name it. and yet i care not. and yet take this again.
a pretty period. well, i guess the sequel; and yet i will not name it. and yet i care not. and yet take this again.
Silvia calls Valentine 'servant' and he calls her 'mistress' — these aren't accidental. They're the technical vocabulary of the medieval and Renaissance courtly love tradition: the lady is the mistress (ruler), the lover her servant (vassal). It's a quasi-feudal model of romantic devotion, where the man pledges himself as a kind of knight to a noble lady. Valentine takes the role so completely that the word 'servant' becomes his title in this play. The joke is that being a 'servant' in this sense — available, devoted, obedient — puts him in exactly the right position for Silvia's trick. He serves her so thoroughly he writes his own love letter. The courtly love tradition is charming and also slightly absurd, and Shakespeare keeps it at arm's length by letting Speed comment on it from outside.
What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
What means your ladyship? Do you not like it?
what means your ladyship? do you not like it?
what means your ladyship? do you not like it?
Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ,
But, since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
Yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ, But, since unwillingly, take them again. Nay, take them.
yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ, but, since unwillingly, take them again. nay, take them.
yes, yes, the lines are very quaintly writ, but, since unwillingly, take them again. nay, take them.
Madam, they are for you.
Madam, they are for you.
madam, they are for you.
madam, they are for you.
Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request,
But I will none of them. They are for you.
I would have had them writ more movingly.
Ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request, But I will none of them. They are for you. I would have had them writ more movingly.
ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request, but i will none of them. they are for you. i would have had them writ more movingly.
ay, ay, you writ them, sir, at my request, but i will none of them. they are for you. i would have had them writ more movingly.
Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
Please you, I’ll write your ladyship another.
hey you, i’ll write your ladyship another.
please you, i’ll write your ladyship another.
And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over,
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over, And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
and when it’s writ, for my sake read it over, and if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
and when it’s writ, for my sake read it over, and if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
If it please me, madam? What then?
If it please me, madam? What then?
if it please me, madam? what then?
if it please me, madam? what then?
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour.
And so good morrow, servant.
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour. And so good morrow, servant.
why, if it please you, take it for your labour. and so good morrow, servant.
why, if it please you, take it for your labour. and so good morrow, servant.
As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better?
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple! My master sues to her, and she has taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor. O excellent device! Was there ever heard a better? That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
as a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple! my master sues to her, and she has taught her suitor, he being her pupil, to become her tutor. o excellent device! was there ever heard a better? that my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
as a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple! my master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, he being her pupil, to become her tutor. o excellent device! was there ever heard a better? that my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
How now, sir? What are you reasoning with yourself?
How now, sir? What are you reasoning with yourself?
how now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
how now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
Nay, I was rhyming. ’Tis you that have the reason.
nay, i was rhyming. ’tis you that have the reason.
nay, i was rhyming. ’tis you that have the reason.
To do what?
To do what?
to do what?
to do what?
To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.
To be a spokesman from Madam Silvia.
to be a spokesman from madam silvia.
to be a spokesman from madam silvia.
To whom?
To whom?
to whom?
to whom?
To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
To yourself. Why, she woos you by a figure.
to yourself. why, she woos you by a figure.
to yourself. why, she woos you by a figure.
What figure?
What figure?
what figure?
what figure?
By a letter, I should say.
By a letter, I should say.
by a letter, i should say.
by a letter, i should say.
Why, she hath not writ to me.
Why, she has not writ to me.
why, she has not writ to me.
why, she hath not writ to me.
What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you
not perceive the jest?
What need she, when she has made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
what need she, when she has made you write to yourself? why, do you not perceive the jest?
what need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? why, do you not perceive the jest?
No, believe me.
No, believe me.
no, believe me.
no, believe me.
No believing you indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
No believing you indeed, sir. But did you perceive her earnest?
no believing you indeed, sir. but did you perceive her earnest?
no believing you indeed, sir. but did you perceive her earnest?
She gave me none, except an angry word.
She gave me none, except an angry word.
she gave me none, except an angry word.
she gave me none, except an angry word.
Why, she hath given you a letter.
Why, she has given you a letter.
why, she has given you a letter.
why, she hath given you a letter.
That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
That’s the letter I writ to her friend.
that’s the letter i writ to her friend.
that’s the letter i writ to her friend.
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
And that letter has she delivered, and there an end.
and that letter has she delivered, and there an end.
and that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.
I would it were no worse.
I would it were no worse.
i would it were no worse.
i would it were no worse.
I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well.
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply,
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir?
’Tis dinner time.
I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well. For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply, Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, Herself has taught her love himself to write unto her lover. All this I speak in print, for in print I found it. Why muse you, sir? ’Tis dinner time.
i’ll warrant you, ’tis as well. for often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty or else for want of idle time, could not again reply, or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, herself has taught her love himself to write unto her lover. all this i speak in print, for in print i found it. why muse you, sir? ’tis dinner time.
i’ll warrant you, ’tis as well. for often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty or else for want of idle time, could not again reply, or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover, herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover. all this i speak in print, for in print i found it. why muse you, sir? ’tis dinner time.
I have dined.
I have dined.
i have dined.
i have dined.
Ay, but hearken, sir, though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I
am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O,
be not like your mistress! Be moved, be moved.
Ay, but hearken, sir, though the chameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress! Be moved, be moved.
ay, but hearken, sir, though the chameleon love can feed on the air, i am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. o, be not like your mistress! be moved, be moved.
ay, but hearken, sir, though the chameleon love can feed on the air, i am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. o, be not like your mistress! be moved, be moved.
The Reckoning
This scene is a perfect comedy of self-blindness: Valentine cannot see what every other person in the scene sees instantly. Speed's extended mockery of the lovestruck symptoms is funnier for being precisely the list Valentine himself recited in 1-1 as proofs of Proteus's foolishness. The Silvia trick — getting your admirer to write himself a love letter — is elegant and funny. Valentine is the last to understand it. The audience is left delighted by Silvia's intelligence and amused by Valentine's total eclipse.
If this happened today…
Your friend messages you from his new city job saying he's definitely not into anyone. Then you call and he accidentally describes his co-worker's glove for two minutes. His roommate reads you the list of symptoms: checking his phone constantly, skipping the gym, crying at Spotify playlists. Your friend insists nothing's happening. The co-worker has apparently asked him to proofread a message to 'a friend' — and the roommate has already figured out it was a message to himself.