How now, Thersites! What, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the
elephant Ajax carry it thus? He beats me, and I rail at him. O worthy
satisfaction! Would it were otherwise: that I could beat him, whilst he
rail’d at me! ‘Sfoot, I’ll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I’ll
see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there’s Achilles, a
rare engineer! If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the
walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O thou great
thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods,
and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy caduceus, if ye take
not that little little less than little wit from them that they have!
which short-arm’d ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will
not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider without drawing their
massy irons and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole
camp! or, rather, the Neapolitan bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the
curse depending on those that war for a placket. I have said my
prayers; and devil Envy say ‘Amen.’ What ho! my Lord Achilles!
Now listen, Thersites! What, are you lost in this maze of your anger? Will the big dumb Ajax simply get away with it like this? He beats me, and I curse at him. Oh, what satisfaction I'd like! I wish it were different—that I could beat him while he cursed at me! By God's foot, I'll learn to do magic and summon demons, if only I can see some result from my bitter, spiteful curses. Then there's Achilles, a real genius at engineering fortifications! If Troy doesn't fall until these two try to undermine its walls, the walls will stand till they collapse on their own. Oh you great god who throws thunderbolts from Olympus, forget that you're Jupiter, king of the gods, and Mercury, throw away all your clever tricks with your magic staff—if you don't remove that tiny, tiny little bit of brain they have! It's so scarce and small that even their own ignorance knows it. It's so scarce that they can't even find a way out without pulling out their huge weapons and destroying the whole trap. After this, may revenge hit the whole army! Or really, may they all get the Neapolitan disease—syphilis! Because that, I think, is the curse that follows those who wage war for scraps. I've said my prayers, and may the devil Envy say Amen. Hey there! My lord Achilles!
Hey Thersites, what's wrong? You're totally lost in that anger of yours, aren't you? Is Ajax just going to pound on you like that and get away with it? He hits me and I yell at him. Great, what a win that is! If only it were backwards—if I could hit him while he's yelling at me. I swear I'll learn to call up demons if it means I get to see my curses actually work. And Achilles? He thinks he's some kind of military genius! Honestly, if Troy only falls when these two try to dig under it, those walls will just stand there forever. Come on, Zeus, forget you're king of the gods for a second, and Mercury, drop your whole magic trick—if you could just take away that tiny scrap of a brain they've got! It's so little that even stupidity itself knows how tiny it is. They're so useless they can't figure out how to solve anything without swinging their huge swords around. Forget it. May the whole army come down with syphilis, that's what I'm praying for. Anyone who fights this war deserves it. I've done my prayers already, and I hope Jealousy says amen. Hey! Achilles! Where are you?
stuck in ur own anger, thersites. ajax beats u and u just rant? wish u could hit him back. theyre all idiots—achilles thinks hes some genius but hes useless. pray they all get sick honestly lord achilles!
Who’s there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail.
Who's there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come inside and complain.
Who's there? Thersites! Come on in and let's hear your complaints.
hey thersites come in and rant
If I could a’ rememb’red a gilt counterfeit, thou wouldst not have
slipp’d out of my contemplation; but it is no matter; thyself upon
thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in
great revenue! Heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not
near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death. Then if she
that lays thee out says thou art a fair corse, I’ll be sworn and sworn
upon’t she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. Where’s Achilles?
If I could have remembered a gilded fake coin, you would not have slipped out of my mind; but it doesn't matter. You with yourself! May the common curse of mankind—foolishness and ignorance—be yours in great abundance! May heaven protect you from a teacher, and may discipline never come near you! Let your blood be your only guide until death. And then, if the woman who dresses your body for burial says you are a fair corpse, I'll swear—and swear again—she never wrapped any but lepers. Amen. Where's Achilles?
If I could've remembered some shiny fake coin, you wouldn't have escaped my thoughts; but whatever. Just you being yourself! May mankind's usual curse—stupidity and ignorance—be yours in abundance! May the heavens keep any teacher away from you, and let discipline never touch you! Let your blood be what guides you until you die. Then if the woman who dresses your dead body says you're a handsome corpse, I'll swear—and swear again—she's never wrapped anyone but diseased beggars. Amen. Where's Achilles?
you're a fake coin foolishness is your curse no teacher could help you let your impulses guide you when you die you'll be a sad corpse amen
What, art thou devout? Wast thou in prayer?
Really, were you praying?
Were you actually praying?
u were praying?
Ay, the heavens hear me!
Yes, the heavens hear me!
Yes! The gods are listening to me!
yeah the gods r listening
Amen.
Amen.
amen.
amen.
Who’s there?
Who’s there?
who’s there?
who’s there?
Thersites, my lord.
Thersites, my lord.
thersites, my lord.
thersites, my lord.
Where, where? O, where? Art thou come? Why, my cheese, my digestion,
why hast thou not served thyself in to my table so many meals? Come,
what’s Agamemnon?
Where are you? Oh, where? Are you here? Why, my friend, my stomach's delight, why haven't you eaten with me so many times? Come on, what's happening with Agamemnon?
Where the hell are you? Oh come on! Are you actually here? Man, you're my favorite person—why haven't you been eating with me? So what's going on with Agamemnon?
where r u?? why haven't u eaten w me what's up with agamemnon?
Thy commander, Achilles. Then tell me, Patroclus, what’s Achilles?
Your commanding officer, Achilles. Now tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles?
Your boss, Achilles. Okay now you tell me—what's Achilles?
ur boss, achilles. now what's achilles to u?
Thy lord, Thersites. Then tell me, I pray thee, what’s Thersites?
Your lord, Thersites. Now tell me, please, what's Thersites?
Your lord, Thersites. Now you tell me—what am I?
ur lord, thersites. so what am i?
Thy knower, Patroclus. Then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou?
Someone who knows you, Patroclus. Now tell me, Patroclus, what are you?
Your best friend, Patroclus. So now what are you?
i know u, patroclus. so what r u?
Thou must tell that knowest.
You have to answer that one—you're the one who'd know.
That's your call, buddy. You tell us what you are.
u tell me who u r
O, tell, tell,
O, tell, tell,
o, tell, tell,
o, tell, tell,
I’ll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles
is my lord; I am Patroclus’ knower; and Patroclus is a fool.
I'll run through the whole hierarchy for you. Agamemnon gives orders to Achilles; Achilles is my boss; I know Patroclus; and Patroclus is an idiot.
Okay, here's the chain of command. Agamemnon tells Achilles what to do. Achilles is my boss. I understand Patroclus. And Patroclus is completely useless.
agamemnon bosses achilles. achilles bosses me. i get patroclus. patroclus is useless
You rascal!
You rascal!
you rascal!
you rascal!
Peace, fool! I have not done.
Be quiet, fool! I'm not finished yet.
Shut it, you idiot. I'm not done.
shut up fool im not done
He is a privileg’d man. Proceed, Thersites.
He has a special privilege. Go ahead, Thersites.
He gets special treatment. Keep going, Thersites.
he gets to talk. keep going
Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool; and, as
aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool.
Agamemnon is an idiot; Achilles is an idiot; Thersites is an idiot; and, like I said, Patroclus is an idiot.
Agamemnon's an idiot. Achilles is an idiot. I'm an idiot. And Patroclus is an idiot.
agamemnon=idiot. achilles=idiot. me=idiot. patroclus=idiot
Derive this; come.
Explain that; come on.
Prove it. Go ahead.
explain that
Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to
be commanded of Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool;
and this Patroclus is a fool positive.
Agamemnon is an idiot for trying to order Achilles around; Achilles is an idiot for letting Agamemnon order him; Thersites is an idiot for serving such an idiot; and this Patroclus is an absolutely certified idiot.
Agamemnon's an idiot for thinking he can tell Achilles what to do. Achilles is an idiot for letting him. I'm an idiot for working for these people. And Patroclus is the biggest idiot of them all.
agamemnon dumb for bossing achilles. achilles dumb for listening. im dumb for working here. patroclus is certified dumb
Why am I a fool?
Why am I an idiot?
What did I do to deserve that?
why am i dumb?
Make that demand of the Creator. It suffices me thou art. Look you, who
comes here?
Ask God about that. It's enough that you are one. Look—who's coming here?
That's between you and God. The fact is, you're one. Look, who's that coming?
ask god. u just r. who's coming?
Come, Patroclus, I’ll speak with nobody. Come in with me, Thersites.
Come on, Patroclus, I won't talk to anybody else. Come inside with me, Thersites.
Patroclus, I'm not seeing anyone else. Come inside with me, Thersites.
patroclus im not talking to anyone. come w me thersites
Here is such patchery, such juggling, and such knavery. All the
argument is a whore and a cuckold—a good quarrel to draw emulous
factions and bleed to death upon. Now the dry serpigo on the subject,
and war and lechery confound all!
This is all incompetence, all tricks and deception, all dishonesty. The whole story comes down to one thing: a woman and a cuckold—that's a good enough reason to start a war between rival factions and bleed to death over. Now may the dry skin disease strike whoever's at fault, and may war and lust destroy everything!
It's all a mess of fakes and con games and dirty politics. The whole war is basically over a woman and a cheating guy—which is enough to get armies fighting and dying. May whoever started this get syphilis, and may war and lust tear everything apart!
its all fake tricks and lies. war over a woman and a cheater. gross. hope they all get sick
Where is Achilles?
Where is Achilles?
where is achilles?
where is achilles?
Within his tent; but ill-dispos’d, my lord.
Inside his tent; but he's not feeling well, my lord.
He's in his tent, but he's not in good shape, sir.
in his tent. hes not doing good
Let it be known to him that we are here.
He shent our messengers; and we lay by
Our appertainings, visiting of him.
Let him be told so; lest, perchance, he think
We dare not move the question of our place
Or know not what we are.
Make sure he knows we're here. He ignored our messengers; and we're overlooking Our usual dignity, coming to visit him. Let him be told this; otherwise he might think We're afraid to demand that he respect our position Or don't know who we are and what we're worth.
Tell him we've arrived. He blew off our messengers; we're putting aside Our normal authority just to come see him. Make sure he gets that message; he shouldn't think We're scared to stand up for ourselves Or that we don't know our own importance.
tell him we're here he ignored us we're lowering ourselves to visit him he needs to know we dont accept that
I shall say so to him.
I'll tell him that right away.
I'll go tell him right now.
ill tell him now
We saw him at the opening of his tent.
He is not sick.
We saw him at his tent entrance. He's not sick.
We saw him standing at his tent. He's not ill.
we saw him at his tent he aint sick
Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart. You may call it melancholy, if you
will favour the man; but, by my head, ’tis pride. But why, why? Let him
show us a cause. A word, my lord.
Yes, sick with pride. You could call it depression if you want to be nice about it; but I'm telling you straight—it's pride. But why, why? Let him explain himself. One minute, my lord.
Yeah, sick with pride. You could call it being down if you want to sugarcoat it; but honestly, it's just pride. But I want to know why. Let him defend himself. Hold on a second, sir.
sick w pride. u can call it depression if u want. its pride tho. why tho? ask him
The scene shows Ulysses's manipulation in real time. The plan is precise: prevent Ajax from going to Achilles (which would be submission); instead, flatter Ajax extravagantly in public so that Achilles, hearing praise go to his rival, is goaded into action by wounded pride. The flattery is almost satirical in its excess — Ajax is praised for every quality including his wisdom, which Ulysses immediately qualifies ('like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines thy spacious parts'). Ajax doesn't notice the backhanded quality of the praise because he's hungry for any praise at all. This is manipulation as political art, and Shakespeare shows it working even as he makes clear how contemptible it is.
What moves Ajax thus to bay at him?
What's made Ajax want to attack him like this?
What made Ajax so angry he's going after him?
why is ajax so mad at him?
Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him.
Achilles has stolen away his court jester from him.
Achilles took away his favorite entertainment—his fool.
achilles stole his fool
Who, Thersites?
Who, Thersites?
who, thersites?
who, thersites?
He.
He.
he.
he.
Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.
Then Ajax will run out of things to say, if he's lost his source of arguments.
Then Ajax won't have anything to say if he's lost his entertainment.
ajax wont have anything to say w/o his fool
No; you see he is his argument that has his argument, Achilles.
No; the person he argues with is his argument—and now Achilles has him.
No; the fool was his argument, and Achilles took that away from him.
no the fool was his whole argument. achilles has him now
All the better; their fraction is more our wish than their faction. But
it was a strong composure a fool could disunite!
All the better; their division is what we want more than their unity. But it was strange—a fool could break apart something so strong!
Good! We'd rather have them divided than united. But it's weird how one fool can tear apart something that seemed so solid.
good better they fight. weird how one fool breaks them
The amity that wisdom knits not, folly may easily untie.
Bonds that wisdom doesn't create, foolishness can easily destroy.
If wisdom didn't tie them together, foolishness can tear them apart pretty easily.
if wisdom didnt bind them stupidity can break them
Here comes Patroclus.
Here comes Patroclus.
Here's Patroclus showing up.
patroclus is here
No Achilles with him.
Achilles isn't with them.
Achilles didn't come out.
achilles didnt show
The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy; his legs are legs for
necessity, not for flexure.
The elephant has joints, but none that show courtesy; his legs are made for walking, not for bending politely.
The elephant has joints, sure, but it won't bow to anyone; its legs are built for moving, not for doing fancy bows.
elephant got joints but wont bend. legs for walking not bowing
Achilles bids me say he is much sorry
If any thing more than your sport and pleasure
Did move your greatness and this noble state
To call upon him; he hopes it is no other
But for your health and your digestion sake,
An after-dinner’s breath.
Achilles says he's very sorry If anything other than your entertainment and pleasure Moved you to bring all your power and noble authority To visit him; he hopes it's only For your health and your digestion, A walk after dinner.
Achilles says he's really sorry If he thought you came here for anything besides Your own fun and entertainment; He figures you just came Because you felt like taking a stroll After dinner, for your digestion.
achilles sorry if u came 4 anything serious he thinks ur just here 4 fun post-dinner walk for digestion
Hear you, Patroclus.
We are too well acquainted with these answers;
But his evasion, wing’d thus swift with scorn,
Cannot outfly our apprehensions.
Much attribute he hath, and much the reason
Why we ascribe it to him. Yet all his virtues,
Not virtuously on his own part beheld,
Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss;
Yea, like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish,
Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him
We come to speak with him; and you shall not sin
If you do say we think him over-proud
And under-honest, in self-assumption greater
Than in the note of judgement; and worthier than himself
Here tend the savage strangeness he puts on,
Disguise the holy strength of their command,
And underwrite in an observing kind
His humorous predominance; yea, watch
His course and time, his ebbs and flows, as if
The passage and whole stream of this commencement
Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add
That if he overhold his price so much
We’ll none of him, but let him, like an engine
Not portable, lie under this report:
Bring action hither; this cannot go to war.
A stirring dwarf we do allowance give
Before a sleeping giant. Tell him so.
Hear me, Patroclus. We know your answers too well. But his evasion, swift with scorn, cannot outrun our understanding. He has much power and we understand why we credit that to him. Yet all his virtues, when he views them with arrogance instead of true merit, begin to lose their shine in our eyes. Yes, like beautiful fruit in an unwholesome dish, they'll likely rot without being tasted. Go tell him we've come to speak with him in person. Tell him we believe he is too proud and dishonest, too full of self-regard, thinking more of himself than judgment allows—worthier than the reality. Here his strange, savage behavior disguises the true strength of our command; we follow his moods like subjects observe a king, watching his comings and goings as if the whole current of this campaign rode on his tide. Tell him this: if he overvalues himself so much, we want nothing of him. Let him be like a machine that can't be moved—stuck under this reputation. Take action to him; this cannot go to war. We'd rather send a stirring dwarf before a sleeping giant. Tell him that.
Listen, Patroclus. We've heard enough of his excuses. His dismissive evasion can't escape what we understand. He's got great power and we know why we think so highly of him. But his virtues—when he sees them arrogantly instead of humbly—they're starting to look tarnished to us. Like good fruit in a bad bowl, they'll just rot uneaten. Go tell him we came to talk to him in person. Say we think he's too full of himself and dishonest, that he thinks he's worth more than he actually is. His weird, rude attitude disguises the real strength of our authority. He acts like he's watching us instead of us watching him. Every move we make, every breath we take, seems to revolve around him. Tell him: if he keeps overestimating himself, we're done with him. Let him sit around useless, a decoration nobody wants. This doesn't help us win the war. We'd send a dwarf who's actually eager before a great man who's asleep. Tell him all that.
stop with the excuses his pride's showing through his gifts look tarnished tell him we came in person he's too proud and dishonest if he won't respect us he's useless to us we'd rather have an eager small guy than a sleeping giant
I shall, and bring his answer presently.
I will, and I'll bring his answer right away.
I will, and I'll come back with his answer immediately.
ill tell him. ill be back w his answer
In second voice we’ll not be satisfied;
We come to speak with him. Ulysses, enter you.
We won't accept a second-hand answer through someone else. We came to speak with him directly. Ulysses, you come with me.
We're not accepting a message through someone else. We came to talk to him face to face. Ulysses, come with me.
no secondhand messages we came to talk to him ulysses come w me
What is he more than another?
What makes him better than anyone else?
What makes him so special?
why is he better than anyone?
No more than what he thinks he is.
Nothing more than what he thinks he is.
Just what he thinks he is.
just what he thinks about himself
Is he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself a better man than I
am?
Is that really so much? Do you think he sees himself as better than me?
Is that a lot? You think he sees himself as better than me?
thats it? he thinks hes better than me?
No question.
No question.
no question.
no question.
Will you subscribe his thought and say he is?
Will you agree with what he thinks and say he's right?
Will you back up his opinion and say he's better?
u gonna agree w him?
No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise, no less noble,
much more gentle, and altogether more tractable.
No, my good Ajax; you're just as strong, just as brave, just as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, and far more reasonable altogether.
No, Ajax. You're just as strong, just as brave, just as smart, just as noble, more pleasant, and honestly more sensible all around.
no u r just as good. stronger maybe. way nicer tho
Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride
is.
Why should anyone be proud? How does pride even start? I don't know what pride is.
Why would anyone want to be arrogant? How does someone even become like that? I honestly don't know what pride even means.
why be proud? idk what it even is
Your mind is the clearer, Ajax, and your virtues the fairer. He that is
proud eats up himself. Pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own
chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in the deed devours the deed
in the praise.
That shows you're smarter, Ajax, and your good qualities shine brighter. Anyone who's proud ends up consuming himself. Pride is his own mirror, his own advertisement, his own record keeper; and whatever praises itself only through actions destroys those actions by praising itself.
That means you're sharper than he is, Ajax, and you look better. Anyone who's proud just eats himself up. Pride is like his own mirror, his own trumpet, his own biography—and if you're praising yourself for doing something good, you actually wreck the good deed by acting like it's about your ego.
means ur smarter ajax proud ppl destroy themselves pride is their mirror. they praise themselves so much they ruin whats good
I do hate a proud man as I do hate the engend’ring of toads.
I hate an arrogant man as much as I hate the birth of toads.
I hate a stuck-up person as much as I hate the thought of toads breeding.
i hate proud ppl as much as i hate toads
[_Aside._] And yet he loves himself: is’t not strange?
And yet he loves himself—isn't that strange?
But wait, he loves himself—isn't that weird?
he loves himself
Achilles will not to the field tomorrow.
Achilles won't go to the battlefield tomorrow.
Achilles isn't going to fight tomorrow.
achilles aint fighting tomorrow
What’s his excuse?
What’s his excuse?
what’s his excuse?
what’s his excuse?
He doth rely on none;
But carries on the stream of his dispose,
Without observance or respect of any,
In will peculiar and in self-admission.
He doesn't rely on anyone else at all; But just follows his own will, Without any regard or respect for anyone, Completely self-centered and arrogant.
He doesn't depend on anyone; He just does whatever he wants, Ignoring everyone else, Completely wrapped up in himself.
he ignores everyone just does what he wants completely selfish
Why will he not, upon our fair request,
Untent his person and share th’air with us?
Why won't he, given our polite request, Leave his tent and share the air with us?
Why can't he just come out and be around us When we're asking him so nicely?
why wont he just come out w us we asked nicely
Things small as nothing, for request’s sake only,
He makes important; possess’d he is with greatness,
And speaks not to himself but with a pride
That quarrels at self-breath. Imagin’d worth
Holds in his blood such swol’n and hot discourse
That ’twixt his mental and his active parts
Kingdom’d Achilles in commotion rages,
And batters down himself. What should I say?
He is so plaguy proud that the death tokens of it
Cry ‘No recovery.’
He makes a big deal of tiny, trivial things, just to refuse requests; He's completely taken over by thoughts of his own greatness, And he doesn't talk to himself but with such arrogance That he argues even with his own breath. His imagined importance Fills his blood with such swollen, hot rage That his mind and his body are at war, And he battles himself into a frenzy, Beating himself down. What can I say? He's so terribly proud that the signs of his doom Shout 'He'll never recover from this.'
He turns nothing into something, just so he can say no; He's so obsessed with how great he thinks he is, And he speaks with such arrogance That he's fighting with himself. His sense of his own importance Bloats up his blood with such hot anger That his thoughts and his body are battling each other, And he just beats himself down. I mean, What do you say? He's so disgustingly arrogant that the signs of death Are already written on him.
he makes nothing into something to say no so stuck on himself he fights himself his pride makes him sick signs say hes done for
Let Ajax go to him.
Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent.
’Tis said he holds you well; and will be led
At your request a little from himself.
Let Ajax go to him. Dear friend, go you and greet him in his tent. It's said he respects you well; and he'll listen To your request and step outside himself a little.
Send Ajax to him. You go, my friend, and visit him in his tent. People say he trusts you; he'll probably listen To you and loosen up a bit.
send ajax u go talk to him in his tent he likes u. hell listen
O Agamemnon, let it not be so!
We’ll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord
That bastes his arrogance with his own seam
And never suffers matter of the world
Oh Agamemnon, please don't do that! We'd make a sacred act out of Ajax's journey When he walks away from Achilles. Will that arrogant man Who bastes his pride with his own grease And never allows the real world to—
Agamemnon, please don't! We'd be treating Ajax's visit like some holy pilgrimage When he leaves Achilles' side. Will that arrogant fool Who feeds his ego with his own fat And shuts out the real world get—
agamemnon dont do that donut make ajax visit like its holy that proud jerk feeds on his own ego
Thersites's 'all the argument is a whore and a cuckold' is the play's thesis statement in eight words. Shakespeare uses him to provide a running commentary that is simultaneously the most accurate and the most powerless voice in the drama. He's right about everything and can change nothing. His curses — the boils, the bone-ache, the serpigo — are medical and specific, turning abstract vice into concrete disease. But his position outside power means his truth-telling is entertainment for Achilles and ignored by everyone else. He's the play's fool without a fool's protective license, and that combination — accuracy without protection — makes him one of Shakespeare's most uncomfortable creations.
And ruminate himself—shall he be worshipp’d
Of that we hold an idol more than he?
No, this thrice worthy and right valiant lord
Shall not so stale his palm, nobly acquir’d,
Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,
As amply titled as Achilles is,
By going to Achilles.
That were to enlard his fat-already pride,
And add more coals to Cancer when he burns
With entertaining great Hyperion.
This lord go to him! Jupiter forbid,
And say in thunder ‘Achilles go to him.’
And only thinks of himself—shall he be worshipped as someone we value even more than Achilles? No, this thrice-worthy and valiant lord shall not diminish his hard-won reputation, nor shall his merit—as great as Achilles'—be reduced by going to Achilles. That would only feed his already swollen pride and add more fire to his burning flames. This lord go to him? May Jupiter forbid it, and thunder the command: 'Achilles, go to him.'
And only thinks of himself—should we worship him like he's better than Achilles? Absolutely not. This great warrior shouldn't devalue his hard-earned honor by going to Achilles. His merit is just as good as Achilles'. That would only make Achilles even more arrogant, like adding fuel to a raging fire. Ajax go to Achilles? Never. I hope Jupiter himself forbids it and thunders: 'Achilles, you go to Ajax!'
he only thinks of himself we're supposed to worship him? no ajax earned his reputation don't make him smaller by going to achilles that'll just feed achilles' ego jupiter forbids it achilles should go to ajax instead
[_Aside_.] O, this is well! He rubs the vein of him.
Oh, this is excellent! He knows exactly how to play him.
Oh perfect! He's really getting to him, hitting all the right buttons.
he's working him perfectly
[_Aside_.] And how his silence drinks up this applause!
And see how he silently absorbs all this applause!
And look how he's just soaking up all this flattery while saying nothing.
eating up the praise silently
If I go to him, with my armed fist I’ll pash him o’er the face.
If I go to him, I'll smash him in the face with my fist.
If I go to him, I'll punch him right in the face.
ill punch him in the face
O, no, you shall not go.
Oh no, you won't go.
No, you're not going.
ur not going
An a’ be proud with me I’ll pheeze his pride.
Let me go to him.
If he acts proud around me, I'll crush his pride. Let me go to him.
If he acts arrogant around me, I'll shut him down. Let me go.
if hes proud ill fix it let me go
Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.
Not for the sake of what's at stake in our cause.
Not when our whole cause depends on it.
not when itll hurt us
A paltry, insolent fellow!
A worthless, insulting fool!
An arrogant little nothing!
worthless jerk
[_Aside_.] How he describes himself!
How perfectly he describes himself!
He's describing himself without even realizing it!
he's talking about himself
Can he not be sociable?
Can't he be sociable?
Won't he just be normal and friendly?
why wont he just be cool
[_Aside_.] The raven chides blackness.
A raven is scolding darkness.
It's like a raven criticizing the darkness for being dark.
raven scolding black
I’ll let his humours blood.
I'll bleed his pride out of him.
I'll drain the arrogance out of him.
ill bleed him dry
[_Aside_.] He will be the physician that should be the patient.
He will be the doctor when he should be the patient.
He's trying to cure others when he's the one who needs the cure.
he's the problem not the doctor
And all men were o’ my mind—
And if all men agreed with me—
And if everyone thought like me—
if ppl listened to me—
[_Aside_.] Wit would be out of fashion.
Intelligence would go out of style.
Then intelligence would be considered old-fashioned.
no more brains
A’ should not bear it so, a’ should eat’s words first.
Shall pride carry it?
He shouldn't get away with this; he should eat his words first. Will pride win the day?
He shouldn't be allowed to get away with it; he should have to take back what he said. Does arrogance really win?
he shouldnt get away w it should eat his words does pride win?
[_Aside_.] And ’twould, you’d carry half.
And if it were defeated, you'd carry half of it.
And if pride were beaten, you'd end up carrying half of it.
you'd take half
[_Aside_.] A’ would have ten shares.
He would take ten shares.
He'd grab ten shares of it.
he'd take ten
I will knead him, I’ll make him supple.
I'll work him like dough, I'll make him flexible.
I'll knead him till he bends, I'll make him supple.
ill work him over till he bends
[_Aside_.] He’s not yet through warm. Force him with praises; pour in,
pour in; his ambition is dry.
He hasn't warmed up enough yet. Keep bombarding him with praises; pour them in, keep pouring; his ambition is thirsty.
He's not quite fired up yet. Keep flooding him with compliments; lay it on thick, keep going; his appetite for praise is never satisfied.
keep praising him he wants more
[_To Agamemnon_.] My lord, you feed too much on this dislike.
My lord, you're feeding too much on this hatred.
Sir, you're letting your dislike of him consume you too much.
stop hating
Our noble general, do not do so.
Our great leader, please don't do this.
Sir, our leader, please stop.
sir stop
You must prepare to fight without Achilles.
You must prepare for battle without Achilles.
You need to be ready to fight without him.
get ready to fight w/o him
Why ’tis this naming of him does him harm.
Here is a man—but ’tis before his face;
I will be silent.
The very act of naming him is harmful to us. Here is a strong man—but I'll say this in his face; I'll stay silent.
Just saying his name hurts our position. This man here is remarkable—but I shouldn't say this in front of him; I'll keep quiet.
naming him hurts us theres a good man here but ill shut up
Wherefore should you so?
He is not emulous, as Achilles is.
Why would you do that? He's not jealous and competitive like Achilles is.
Why would you stay quiet? He's not arrogant like Achilles.
why? he aint arrogant like achilles
Know the whole world, he is as valiant.
Let the whole world know—he's just as brave as Achilles.
Everyone should know he's just as brave.
he's just as brave
A whoreson dog, that shall palter with us thus!
Would he were a Trojan!
A dirty dog who tricks us like this! I wish he were a Trojan!
What a bastard, playing games with us like this! I wish he fought for the other side!
hes a bastard playing games wish he was trojan
What a vice were it in Ajax now—
What a flaw it would be in Ajax now—
It would be so wrong if Ajax were—
it would b wrong if ajax was—
If he were proud.
Arrogant.
Acting like he's better than everyone.
full of himself
Or covetous of praise.
Or hungry for praise.
Or always wanting compliments.
or praise-hungry
Ay, or surly borne.
Yes, or rude and surly.
Or moody and grumpy.
or moody
Or strange, or self-affected.
Or strange, or self-centered.
Or weird, or full of himself.
or weird or vain
Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet composure.
Praise him that gat thee, she that gave thee suck;
Fam’d be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature
Thrice fam’d beyond, beyond all erudition;
But he that disciplin’d thine arms to fight—
Let Mars divide eternity in twain
And give him half; and, for thy vigour,
Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield
To sinewy Ajax. I will not praise thy wisdom,
Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines
Thy spacious and dilated parts. Here’s Nestor,
Instructed by the antiquary times—
He must, he is, he cannot but be wise;
But pardon, father Nestor, were your days
As green as Ajax’ and your brain so temper’d,
You should not have the eminence of him,
But be as Ajax.
Thank the gods, my lord, that you have such a balanced nature. Praise the man who created you, and the woman who fed you as a baby; May your teacher be famous, and your natural talents Thrice famous beyond, beyond all schooling; But the man who trained your arms for fighting— Let Mars split all eternity between you two And give you half; and for your strength, Milo, the famous strong man, would have to add his power To your sinewy strength. I won't praise your wisdom, Which, like a stream, a fence, a shore, limits Your vast and spacious abilities. Here's Nestor, Taught by ancient times— He must be, he is, he can't help but be wise; But forgive me, father Nestor, if your days were As young as Ajax' and your mind as sharp, You wouldn't have his advantage over him, You'd be just like Ajax.
Thank the gods, sir, for making you so reasonable. Praise whoever made you, and whoever nursed you as a baby; May your teacher be famous, and your natural gifts Famous three times over, beyond all learning; But the man who trained you to fight— Let Mars share all of time between you two And give you half; and for your strength, Milo the strong guy would have to come together with you To match your muscles. I'm not going to praise how smart you are, Because your smartness actually holds back Your real power and size. Look at Nestor here— He's been around since ancient times— He has to be, he is, he absolutely is wise; But sorry Nestor, if you were As young as Ajax and had his sharp mind, You couldn't beat him in wisdom, You'd just be like Ajax.
thank god u r balanced praise who made u, who nursed u may ur teacher be famous u got the strength of milo i wont praise ur mind tho it limits u nestor heres the thing if ur old brain was ajax young, u still wouldnt beat him ud just be ajax
Shall I call you father?
Should I call you father?
Am I supposed to think of you as a father figure?
call u dad?
Ay, my good son.
Yes, my good son.
Of course, my friend.
absolutely
Be rul’d by him, Lord Ajax.
Follow his lead, Lord Ajax.
Listen to him, Ajax.
take his advice
There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles
Keeps thicket. Please it our great general
To call together all his state of war;
Fresh kings are come to Troy. Tomorrow
We must with all our main of power stand fast;
And here’s a lord—come knights from east to west
And cull their flower, Ajax shall cope the best.
We cannot stay here. The hart Achilles keeps to the thicket. If it pleases our great general, call together all his forces for war. New kings have arrived in Troy. Tomorrow we must stand firm with all our power. And here is a lord—let knights come from every direction and gather their best fighters. Ajax will match him well.
We can't wait around here. Achilles is like a deer hiding in the brush, staying away. If the general's willing, bring all his troops together for battle. Fresh kings have shown up in Troy. Tomorrow we have to be ready with all our strength. And here's this impressive man—get the best fighters from everywhere, and Ajax will be his equal.
can't wait achilles is hiding like a deer marshal all the troops new kings arrived tomorrow we fight get your best knights ajax will match him
Go we to council. Let Achilles sleep.
Light boats sail swift, though greater hulks draw deep.
Let's go to the council. Let Achilles sleep. Small boats sail fast, but big ships run deep.
Let's go to council. Leave Achilles there. Quick boats move fast, but big ships sit low in the water.
lets go to council. let achilles sleep small boats fast. big ships go deep
The Reckoning
This is Ulysses's scheme in action — and it's darkly comic. The generals lavish praise on Ajax while aside-ing to the audience that Ajax is everything he criticizes Achilles for. Achilles refuses to see anyone, hears the flattery of Ajax through his tent, and the machine grinds forward. The play is showing us how reputation and ego work as political tools — and how completely even the supposedly wise are susceptible to manipulation.
If this happened today…
The senior team needs to get the star engineer back to work. He won't take meetings. So instead of confronting him, the VP of Engineering starts loudly praising the mediocre engineer in the open-plan office — right within earshot of the star's office. 'Ajax is honestly our most reliable guy — underrated, really.' The star hears it through his noise-canceling headphones. He takes them off.