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Act 1, Scene 3 — Another room in Leonato’s house.
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The argument Don John, chafing in his brother's grudging pardon, declares himself a plain-dealing villain and, learning from Borachio of Claudio's intended marriage, decides to cross it purely for spite.
Enter Don John and Conrade.
First appearance
CONRADE

Conrade has the voice of a political operator — all strategic advice and patient counsel. His instinct is always to say 'yes, but manage it better.' Watch for how, across the play, this kind of pragmatic loyalty to a bad cause makes him exactly as guilty as his master.

CONRADE Practical servitude

What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?

What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?

What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?

what the good-year my lord why are you thus out of measure sad

"What the good-year" 'What the good-year' is a mild oath, roughly equivalent to 'what the devil' or 'for heaven's sake.' The exact origin is obscure — possibly a corruption of 'goujère' (French syphilis), possibly just an exclamation that softened a stronger oath for print.
"out of measure sad" 'Out of measure' means beyond all proportion, excessively. 'Measure' was both a unit of quantity and a concept of moderation — to be 'out of measure' is to have abandoned both.
First appearance
DON JOHN

Don John speaks in short, compressed declarations — he doesn't spar or elaborate, he pronounces. Watch for how he turns every sentence back to 'I': 'I cannot hide what I am,' 'I must be sad,' 'I would bite.' He speaks in a grammar of pure will and appetite, which is partly terrifying and partly — the play quietly suggests — pathetic.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the

sadness is without limit.

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.

There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.

there is no measure in the occasion that breeds therefore the sadness is without limit

CONRADE Practical servitude

You should hear reason.

You should hear reason.

You should hear reason.

you should hear reason.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?

And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?

And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?

and when i have heard it, what blessings brings it?

CONRADE Practical servitude

If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

if not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I wonder that thou (being as thou say’st thou art, born

under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying

mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and

smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no

man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man’s

business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour.

I wonder that you (being as you say’st you are, born under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man’s business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour.

I wonder that you (being as you say’st you are, born under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I can't hide what I'm: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I'm drowsy, and tend on no man’s business; laugh when I'm merry, and claw no man in his humour.

i wonder that you (being as you say’st you are born under saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief i can't hide what i'm: i must be sad when i have cause and smile at no man’s jests eat when i have stomach

"born under Saturn" Renaissance astrological belief held that those born under Saturn's influence were constitutionally melancholic — gloomy, slow, cold-tempered. Conrade claims this trait himself, making him seem the last person to prescribe cheerfulness.
"apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief" A medical metaphor: 'mortifying' means gangrenous, decaying. Conrade's 'be reasonable' advice is, to Don John, like applying a poultice to a limb that's already dying — useless and insulting.
"claw no man in his humour" To 'claw' meant to scratch, but also to flatter — as in scratching someone's back. Don John refuses to play along with anyone's moods or preferences just to win favor. This is integrity of a kind, in a completely antisocial direction.
CONRADE Practical servitude

Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do

it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother,

and he hath ta’en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible

you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself:

it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he has ta’en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he has ta’en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

yea but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment you have of late stood out against your brother and he has ta’en you newly into his grace where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest

"stood out against your brother" Don John has just been reconciled with Don Pedro after an unspecified rebellion or conflict — we never learn the details, but the hostility is real and the pardon is fresh. He is under his brother's power but chafing in it.
"take true root but by the fair weather" A gardening metaphor for political survival: a plant can't establish itself unless conditions are favorable. Conrade is saying Don John's position at court is a transplant that hasn't taken — he needs to create the right climate for himself to survive.
DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace;

and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a

carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a

flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing

villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog;

therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I

would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime,

let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I can't be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I'm a plain-dealing villain. I'm trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be that I'm, and seek not to alter me.

i had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this though i can't be said to be a flattering honest man it must not be denied but i'm a plain-dealing villain i'm trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog

"canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace" A 'canker' is the wild hedge rose — uncontrolled, unpruned, nothing like the cultivated garden rose. Don John prefers to be authentic and uncultivated over performing refinement to win favor.
"a plain-dealing villain" This is Don John's most startling self-description — and one of Shakespeare's wittiest character announcements. 'Plain-dealing' was a compliment (honest, no pretense), but here it modifies 'villain.' He's claiming honesty as a villain: he doesn't pretend to be good.
"trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog" A muzzle kept a dog from biting; a clog (a heavy block) chained to an animal's leg slowed it down while technically leaving it 'free.' Don John is pardoned but still leashed — free in name, controlled in fact.
Why it matters This is Don John's defining speech — 'I am a plain-dealing villain' is one of the most honest villain introductions in Shakespeare. It's not Iago's elaborate self-justification or Richard III's gleeful scheming; it's simpler and bleaker: I am what I am, I can't be otherwise, let me act accordingly.
CONRADE Practical servitude

Can you make no use of your discontent?

Can you make no use of your discontent?

Can you make no use of your discontent?

can you make no use of your discontent?

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

i make all use of it, for i use it only. who comes here?

Enter Borachio.
What news, Borachio?
First appearance
BORACHIO

Borachio is the handyman of villainy — the one who executes what Don John imagines. He speaks in the matter-of-fact register of someone reporting facts and offering services. His name means 'drunkard' in Spanish, which becomes darkly relevant later. Watch for how he's far more competent than his master, and how that competence is what makes the plot actually dangerous.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

I came yonder from a great supper: the Prince your brother is

royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an

intended marriage.

I came over there from a great supper: the Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

I came over there from a great supper: the Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

i came over there from a great supper: the prince your brother is royally entertained by leonato and i can give you intelligence of an intended marriage

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for

a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

will it serve for any model to build mischief on what is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Marry, it is your brother’s right hand.

indeed, it is your brother’s right hand.

indeed, it is your brother’s right hand.

indeed, it is your brother’s right hand.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

who? the most exquisite claudio?

"most exquisite Claudio" Don John's sarcasm drips here. 'Exquisite' was a word of praise (elegantly refined), but delivered by Don John with contempt — Claudio is exactly the kind of perfect, socially validated young man that Don John most resents.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Even he.

Even he.

Even he.

even he.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?

A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?

A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?

a proper squire! and who, and who? which way looks he?

"A proper squire" 'Proper' meant handsome and respectable — Don John uses it with barely concealed contempt. A 'squire' was a young man of good birth, attendant on a knight — the respectably junior title Claudio has probably just earned.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

indeed, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

indeed, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

indeed, on hero, the daughter and heir of leonato.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

a very forward march-chick! how came you to this?

"forward March-chick" A chick hatched early in the year — forward means precocious, prematurely eager. Don John is dismissing Claudio as an overeager youth getting above himself, aiming at the governor's daughter before he's earned it.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room,

comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt

me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should

woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

being entertained for a perfumer as i was smoking a musty room comes me the prince and claudio hand in hand in sad conference: i whipt me behind the arras

"entertained for a perfumer" Household perfumers were hired to burn aromatic herbs and resins to sweeten musty rooms before a feast — a routine domestic service. Borachio had legitimate reason to be there, which made him an ideal spy.
"whipt me behind the arras" The arras — a heavy hanging tapestry — was the standard hiding place in Elizabethan theater. Shakespeare uses it so often (Polonius dies behind one in Hamlet) that audiences expected someone to be lurking there. Borachio is following a theatrical convention of surveillance.
Why it matters Interestingly, Borachio's account is accurate — this is precisely Don Pedro's plan. Compare this to Antonio's servant in 1-2, who overheard the same conversation and got it completely wrong. Two eavesdroppers, same event, opposite takeaways: Shakespeare is already building his theme of perception's unreliability.
🎭 Dramatic irony Borachio has just heard and accurately reported Don Pedro's real plan — which means the villain's party is better informed than the hero's party (Leonato, primed by Antonio's wrong account). The audience knows both versions are in play and that Don John will use the correct one.
DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my

displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I

can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and

will assist me?

Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up has all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up has all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

come come let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure that young start-up has all the glory of my overthrow: if i can cross him any way i bless myself every way

"food to my displeasure" Don John's unhappiness is figured as a hungry creature that needs feeding. The image is darkly apt — his malice isn't strategic; it's appetitive. He needs to feed it.
"That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow" Claudio is the one Don Pedro publicly praised in 1-1 — he 'hath borne himself beyond the promise of his age.' Don John's overthrow happened in the same campaign where Claudio earned his laurels. The insult is structural: Claudio rose as Don John fell.
🎭 Dramatic irony Don John says he'll 'cross' Claudio 'any way' he can — the audience who knows the play is aware that this casual spite will escalate into a public accusation of unchastity that nearly destroys Hero entirely. His tone is almost bored; what he'll actually do is catastrophic.
CONRADE Practical servitude

To the death, my lord.

To the death, my lord.

To the death, my lord.

to the death, my lord.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am

subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what’s

to be done?

Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what’s to be done?

Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I'm subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what’s to be done?

let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that i'm subdued would the cook were of my mind shall we go to prove what’s to be done

"their cheer is the greater that I am subdued" Don John is aware that his own submission is part of the entertainment — the conquered half-brother at the feast is a trophy of Don Pedro's magnanimity. He's forced to perform his own humiliation publicly.
"Would the cook were of my mind" A dark joke: if the cook shared his malice, he'd poison the feast. Don John can't act yet, but he's already imagining sabotage.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

We’ll wait upon your Lordship.

We’ll wait upon your Lordship.

We’ll wait upon your Lordship.

we’ll wait upon your lordship.

[Exeunt.]

The Reckoning

After two scenes of festive anticipation — soldiers coming home, music being arranged, weddings being rumored — Shakespeare gives us a cold splash of still water. Don John doesn't want anything constructive; he wants to ruin something because ruining things is the only form of self-expression he has left. It's the emotional logic of a man who's been neutered and knows it. The audience leaves this scene with a knot in the stomach: the party hasn't even started, and the serpent is already in the garden.

If this happened today…

Imagine a co-founder who got pushed out of the company he helped build, then invited back in a diminished advisory role to keep him from suing. He shows up to the company retreat with a fixed smile, says the right things to the right people, and everyone pretends the history didn't happen. In the hotel bar afterward, he corners his most loyal former colleague and says, quietly, 'I don't do diplomatic. I'm just going to be honest: I don't want this company to succeed. And that kid they just promoted to VP? If I can find a way to trip him up before the product launch, I'm doing it.' That's Don John. No plan yet. Just malice as a life philosophy, and the first whiff of an opportunity.

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