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Act 4, Scene 1 — The street
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Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly and William.
MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou?

Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st you?

is he at master ford’s already, think’st you?

is he at master ford’s already, think’st you?

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Sure he is by this; or will be presently. But truly he is very

courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires

you to come suddenly.

Sure he is by this; or will be presently. But truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

sure he is by this; or will be presently. but truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. mistress ford desires you to come suddenly.

sure he is by this; or will be presently. but trul

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring my young man here to school.

Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see.

I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see.

i’ll be with her by and by. i’ll but bring my young man here to school. look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, i see.

i’ll be with her by and by. i’ll but bring my youn

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

No, Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

No, Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

no, master slender is let the boys leave to play.

no, master slender is let the boys leave to play.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Blessing of his heart!

Blessing of his heart!

blessing of his heart!

blessing of his heart!

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his

book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.

Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.

sir hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. i pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.

sir hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing i

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Come hither, William. Hold up your head, come.

come here, William. Hold up your head, come.

come here, william. hold up your head, come.

come hither, william. hold up your head, come.

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.

Come on, sir. Hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.

come on, sir. hold up your head. answer your master, be not afraid.

come on, sir. hold up your head. answer your ma

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

William, how many numbers is in nouns?

william, how many numbers is in nouns?

william, how many numbers is in nouns?

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

Two.

Two.

two.

two.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say

“’Od’s nouns.”

Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”

truly, i thought there had been one number more, because they say “’od’s nouns.”

truly, i thought there had been one number more, b

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?

Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?

peace your tattlings! what is “fair,” william?

peace your tattlings! what is “fair,” william?

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

_Pulcher_.

_Pulcher_.

_pulcher_.

_pulcher_.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Polecats? There are fairer things than polecats, sure.

Polecats? There are fairer things than polecats, sure.

polecats? there are fairer things than polecats, sure.

polecats? there are fairer things than polecats, s

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace.—What is _lapis_,

William?

You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace.—What is _lapis_, William?

you are a very simplicity ’oman; i pray you, peace.—what is _lapis_, william?

you are a very simplicity ’oman; i pray you, peace

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

A stone.

A stone.

a stone.

a stone.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

And what is “a stone,” William?

And what is “a stone,” William?

and what is “a stone,” william?

and what is “a stone,” william?

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

A pebble.

A pebble.

a pebble.

a pebble.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

No, it is _lapis_. I pray you remember in your prain.

No, it is _lapis_. I pray you remember in your prain.

no, it is _lapis_. i pray you remember in your prain.

no, it is _lapis_. i pray you remember in your pra

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

_Lapis_.

_Lapis_.

_lapis_.

_lapis_.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

that is a good william. what is he, william, that does lend articles?

that is a good william. what is he, william, that

WILLIAM ≋ verse WILLIAM's declaration

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined:

_singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc_.

Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: _singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc_.

articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: _singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc_.

articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

_Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog_, pray you, mark: _genitivo, huius_. Well,

what is your accusative case?

_Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog_, pray you, mark: _genitivo, huius_. Well, what is your accusative case?

_nominativo, hig, haeg, hog_, pray you, mark: _genitivo, huius_. well, what is your accusative case?

_nominativo, hig, haeg, hog_, pray you, mark: _gen

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

_Accusativo, hinc_.

_Accusativo, hinc_.

_accusativo, hinc_.

_accusativo, hinc_.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

I pray you, have your remembrance, child. _Accusativo, hung, hang,

hog_.

I pray you, have your remembrance, child. _Accusativo, hung, hang, hog_.

i pray you, have your remembrance, child. _accusativo, hung, hang, hog_.

i pray you, have your remembrance, child. _accusat

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

“hang-hog” is latin for bacon, i warrant you.

“hang-hog” is latin for bacon, i warrant you.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the focative case, William?

Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the focative case, William?

leave your prabbles, ’oman.—what is the focative case, william?

leave your prabbles, ’oman.—what is the focative c

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

O—_vocativo_—O—

O—_vocativo_—O—

o—_vocativo_—o—

o—_vocativo_—o—

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Remember, William; focative is _caret_.

Remember, William; focative is _caret_.

remember, william; focative is _caret_.

remember, william; focative is _caret_.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

And that’s a good root.

And that’s a good root.

and that’s a good root.

and that’s a good root.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

’Oman, forbear.

’Oman, forbear.

’oman, forbear.

’oman, forbear.

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Peace.

Peace.

peace.

peace.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

What is your genitive case plural, William?

What is your genitive case plural, William?

what is your genitive case plural, william?

what is your genitive case plural, william?

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

Genitive case?

Genitive case?

genitive case?

genitive case?

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Ay.

Yes.

yes.

yes.

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

Genitive: _horum, harum, horum_.

Genitive: _horum, harum, horum_.

genitive: _horum, harum, horum_.

genitive: _horum, harum, horum_.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

Vengeance of Jenny’s case, fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be

a whore.

Vengeance of Jenny’s case, fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.

vengeance of jenny’s case, fie on her! never name her, child, if she be a whore.

vengeance of jenny’s case, fie on her! never name

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

For shame, ’oman.

For shame, ’oman.

for shame, ’oman.

for shame, ’oman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY Gossipy and eager; playing all sides of the scheme

You do ill to teach the child such words.—He teaches him to hick and to

hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore

’m”!—Fie upon you!

You do ill to teach the child such words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore ’m”!—Fie upon you!

you do ill to teach the child such words.—he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore ’m”!—fie upon you!

you do ill to teach the child such words.—he teach

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases,

and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures

as I would desires.

’Oman, are you lunatics? Hast you no understandings for your cases, and the numbers of the genders? you are as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

’oman, are you lunatics? hast you no understandings for your cases, and the numbers of the genders? you are as foolish christian creatures as i would desires.

’oman, are you lunatics? hast you no understandi

[_To Quickly_.] Prithee, hold thy peace.
EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

show me now, william, some declensions of your pronouns.

show me now, william, some declensions of your pro

WILLIAM WILLIAM's declaration

Forsooth, I have forgot.

truly, I have forgot.

truly, i have forgot.

truly, i have forgot.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

It is _qui, quae, quod_. If you forget your _quis_, your _quaes_, and

your _quods_, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.

It is _qui, quae, quod_. If you forget your _quis_, your _quaes_, and your _quods_, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.

it is _qui, quae, quod_. if you forget your _quis_, your _quaes_, and your _quods_, you must be preeches. go your ways and play, go.

it is _qui, quae, quod_. if you forget your _quis_

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

he is a better scholar than i thought he was.

he is a better scholar than i thought he was.

EVANS Pompously deploying malapropisms and half-understood Latin

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

he is a good sprag memory. farewell, mistress page.

he is a good sprag memory. farewell, mistress page

MISTRESS PAGE Sharp and in control; executing the scheme with precision and wit

Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

adieu, good sir hugh.

adieu, good sir hugh.

[_Exit Sir Hugh Evans._]
Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
[_Exeunt._]

The Reckoning

If this happened today…

Continue to 4.2 →