What, John! What, Robert!
Where are you, John? Where are you, Robert?
John! Robert! Get out here!
john! robert!
Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket—
Hurry, hurry! Is the wash basket ready—
Come on, come on! Is the laundry basket ready—
hurry! basket ready?
I warrant.—What, Robin, I say!
I assure you.—What is it, Robin?
I'm sure it is.—Robin, hey!
yes robin!
Come, come, come.
Come, come, come.
come, come, come.
come, come, come.
Here, set it down.
Put it down here.
Right here - put it on the ground.
set it down
Give your men the charge; we must be brief.
Give your men their instructions; we need to hurry.
Give the guys their orders; we gotta be quick.
order the men be fast
Marry, as I told you before, John and Robert, be ready here hard by in
the brew-house; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and, without
any pause or staggering, take this basket on your shoulders. That done,
trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in
Datchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close by the Thames
side.
Listen, just as I told you before, John and Robert, stay ready here nearby in the brew-house. When I suddenly call you, come right out, and without any hesitation or delay, pick up this basket on your shoulders. Once you've done that, hurry with it as fast as you can and carry it to the laundry workers in Datchet Mead. Then dump it in the muddy ditch right by the Thames.
Okay, like I said before, John and Robert, stay ready over here by the brew-house. When I yell for you, come running out, and don't waste a second—grab this basket and hoist it onto your shoulders. Then move fast, take it to the laundry workers in Datchet Mead, and throw it in the muddy ditch right next to the Thames.
john and robert stay by brew-house when i call grab basket run to datchet mead dump in ditch by thames no delays
You will do it?
You'll do this?
Got it?
you got this?
I ha’ told them over and over, they lack no direction.—Be gone, and
come when you are called.
I've told them again and again; they know exactly what to do.—Now go, and come back when I call for you.
I've drilled them on this a million times; they know what they're doing.—Get out of here and come when I call.
they know go come when i call
Here comes little Robin.
Here comes young Robin now.
Look, here's Robin coming.
robin's coming
How now, my eyas-musket, what news with you?
Well, young friend, what's happening? Do you have news?
Hey there, little buddy, what's the word?
hey kid what's up?
My Master, Sir John, is come in at your back door, Mistress Ford, and
requests your company.
My master, Sir John, has come through your back door, Mistress Ford, and he wants to see you.
My master, Sir John, came in through your back door and wants to talk to you.
sir john's here back door wants to see you
You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?
You unreliable little thing, have you stayed loyal to us?
Little troublemaker, you've been keeping our secret, right?
you been loyal? keeping it secret?
Ay, I’ll be sworn. My master knows not of your being here, and hath
threatened to put me into everlasting liberty if I tell you of it; for
he swears he’ll turn me away.
Yes, I swear it. My master doesn't know you're here, and he's threatened to fire me if I tell you about this; he said he'd throw me out for good.
I swear it, yeah. My master has no idea you're here, and he said he'd fire me if I spill the beans. He said he'd throw me out for good.
i swear master doesn't know he said he'd fire me
Thou’rt a good boy, this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee,
and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. I’ll go hide me.
You're a good boy, and your secrecy will be rewarded - I'll buy you new clothes. I'll go hide now.
You're a good kid, and keeping quiet will pay off - I'll get you new clothes. I gotta hide.
good boy keep quiet i'll get you clothes going to hide
Do so.—Go tell thy master I am alone.
Do that.—Go tell your master I'm alone.
Do it.—Tell your master I'm by myself.
go tell him i'm alone
Mistress Page, remember you your cue.
Don't forget your role, Mistress Page.
Mistress Page, don't forget your part.
remember your cue
I warrant thee. If I do not act it, hiss me.
I promise you. If I don't play my part, jeer me.
I got this. If I mess up, boo me.
i got it if i mess up boo me
Go to, then. We’ll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery
pumpion; we’ll teach him to know turtles from jays.
All right then. We'll use this foul, swampy mess; we'll teach him the difference between real ladies and common birds.
Okay then. This disgusting, slimy mess is perfect; we'll teach this guy what real quality is.
ok then we'll teach him he's disgusting
“Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?” Why, now let me die, for I
have lived long enough. This is the period of my ambition. O this
blessed hour!
Have I finally got you, my treasure? This is perfect - I could die happy now because I've lived long enough to see this moment. This is the pinnacle of all my hopes. What a blessed hour!
Got you at last, you incredible woman! I could die happy right now - this is literally everything I've ever wanted. What a perfect moment!
got you i could die happy this is everything
O, sweet Sir John!
Oh, wonderful Sir John!
Oh, Sir John!
sir john
Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, Mistress Ford. Now shall I
sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead. I’ll speak it before the
best lord: I would make thee my lady.
Mistress Ford, I can't deceive you, I can't talk falsehoods, Mistress Ford. Now I'll commit this sin of my desire: I wish your husband were dead. I'll say it before the greatest lord: I would make you my wife.
Mistress Ford, I can't lie to you or play games—I just can't. Now I'm going to say something sinful: I wish your husband were dead. I'd tell any lord this—I want to make you my wife.
mistress ford i can't fake this i wish your husband was dead would make you my wife
I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be a pitiful lady.
Me, your lady, Sir John? I'd be such a pathetic lady.
Me? Your lady, Sir John? I'd be pretty sad as a lady.
me your lady? i'd be pathetic
Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would
emulate the diamond. Thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that
becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian
admittance.
The French court couldn't show me anyone like you. I see how your eyes shine like diamonds. You have exactly the kind of beautiful arched brow that looks good with any fashionable headdress—the elaborate ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any Venetian style.
Even the French court couldn't find someone like you. Your eyes sparkle like diamonds. You've got that perfect elegant brow that looks amazing with any fancy headdress - whatever style you wear.
you're incredible your eyes shine your brow is perfect
A plain kerchief, Sir John. My brows become nothing else, nor that well
neither.
Just a simple headscarf, Sir John. My eyebrows don't look good in anything, and that doesn't look right on me either.
A plain scarf, Sir John. My eyebrows don't look good in anything, to be honest.
just a scarf brows look bad either way
By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so. Thou wouldst make an
absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an
excellent motion to thy gait in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what
thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend. Come, thou
canst not hide it.
By heaven, you're lying. You'd make the perfect court lady - the way you stand and move would be absolutely graceful in one of those full round skirts. I can see what you could be if fortune weren't against you - nature is on your side. Come on, you can't hide it.
No way, you're wrong about that. You'd be perfect at court - the way you carry yourself is so elegant. I can tell you could be something special if luck were on your side. You can't hide who you are.
you're wrong you'd be perfect at court you can't hide it
Believe me, there’s no such thing in me.
Believe me, there's nothing like that in me.
Trust me, there's nothing special about me.
nothing special here
What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee there’s something
extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and
that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds that come like women
in men’s apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple-time. I cannot.
But I love thee, none but thee; and thou deservest it.
What makes me love you? Think about that - there must be something extraordinary in you. Look, I'm not going to flatter you and say flattering things like all those pretty, delicate men who dress up as women and smell like herb shops. I can't do that. But I do love you, only you, and you deserve it.
What makes me love you? That should tell you something special's there. I'm not gonna shower you with compliments like those pretty boys who act like women. I just love you, only you, and you're worth it.
i love you only you you deserve it
Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love Mistress Page.
Don't betray me, sir; I'm worried you might love Mistress Page.
Don't betray me; I'm scared you're into Mistress Page too.
don't betray me are you into mistress page?
Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the Counter gate, which is
as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.
You might as well say I love to walk by the debtors' prison, which I hate as much as the smell of a burning lime pit.
That's like saying I love hanging out at the debtors' prison, which I hate with a passion.
that's like saying i love the prison i hate it that much
Well, heaven knows how I love you, and you shall one day find it.
Well, heaven knows how much I love you, and someday you'll understand.
Look, heaven knows how much I care for you, and you'll find out one day.
god knows i love you you'll see one day
Keep in that mind, I’ll deserve it.
Keep feeling that way, and I'll prove worthy of it.
Hold on to that thought, and I'll earn it.
stay faithful i'll deserve it
The middle section of this scene (3-3-027 through 3-3-040) is Falstaff at his most sincere and therefore most pathetic. His language becomes almost tender: 'I love thee, none but thee; and thou deservest it.' For a moment, the seducer becomes human. He is not flattering for effect; he seems to actually mean it. Mistress Ford plays along perfectly, responding with both resistance and recognition, and for a moment the audience might wonder if the women are actually going to go through with the humiliation. But the knock on the door shatters everything. Falstaff's moment of vulnerability becomes the prelude to his greatest humiliation. Shakespeare uses the seduction not as the climax but as the setup: the more sincere Falstaff is, the more devastating it is when he crawls into a laundry basket to escape.
Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.
No, I must tell you something: if you weren't truly like that, I couldn't feel this way about you.
No, wait, I have to tell you - I only feel this way because you actually are that person.
i only feel this way if you're really like that
Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford, here’s Mistress Page at the door,
sweating and blowing and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you
presently.
Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford, Mistress Page is at the door, sweating, breathing hard, looking wild, and she needs to talk to you right now.
Mistress Ford, Mistress Page is at the door, all sweaty and out of breath and crazy-looking, and she needs to talk to you immediately.
mistress page at the door sweating heavy needs to talk now
She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.
She won't see me; I'll hide behind the tapestry.
She's not gonna see me; I'm gonna hide behind the tapestry.
hide behind tapestry don't let her see me
Pray you, do so; she’s a very tattling woman.
Please do; she's a terrible gossip.
Please do; she loves to gossip.
do it she gossips
What’s the matter? How now?
What is the matter? How are things now?
What's wrong? What's going on?
whats wrong whats happening
O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You’re shamed, you’re overthrown,
you’re undone for ever!
Oh Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're disgraced, you're ruined, you're finished for good!
Oh my God, Mistress Ford, what did you do? You're totally ruined! It's all over!
what did you do? you're ruined it's over
What’s the matter, good Mistress Page?
What's wrong, Mistress Page?
What's going on?
what's wrong?
O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an honest man to your husband, to
give him such cause of suspicion!
Oh no, Mistress Ford! You have an honest, faithful husband, and you're giving him reason to be suspicious!
Oh my God, how could you? You've got a good, honest husband and you're making him suspicious!
you have a good husband and you're making him suspicious?
What cause of suspicion?
What reason for suspicion?
What do you mean, suspicious?
suspicious of what?
What cause of suspicion? Out upon you! How am I mistook in you!
What reason for suspicion? How wrong I was about you!
How could I be so wrong about you! What suspicion are you talking about?
how was i so wrong? what suspicion?
Why, alas, what’s the matter?
But what's the matter then?
Okay, but what's going on?
what's going on?
Your husband’s coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor,
to search for a gentleman that he says is here now in the house, by
your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.
Your husband is coming here, woman, with all the law officers in Windsor, to search for a man he says is in your house right now with your permission, taking advantage of his absence. You're ruined.
Your husband's coming here with every officer in Windsor to search for a man he thinks you've let into the house - someone using his absence as an opportunity. You're screwed.
your husband's coming with officers he knows you're done
’Tis not so, I hope.
I hope that's not true.
Please tell me that's not happening.
that can't be real
Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here! But ’tis most
certain your husband’s coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to
search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself
clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey,
convey him out. Be not amazed, call all your senses to you; defend your
reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.
I hope you don't have a man here! But your husband is definitely coming with half the town at his back to search for someone like that. I came ahead to warn you. If you're innocent, I'm happy for you; but if you have a man here, get him out, get him out. Don't panic, pull yourself together, think clearly, protect your reputation, or say goodbye to your whole life.
I hope you haven't got a man hiding here! But your husband's definitely coming with half the town to search for exactly that kind of guy. I'm giving you a heads up. If you're clean, great - but if you've got somebody here, get him out, now. Don't freak out, think straight, defend yourself, or your life is over.
husband coming with officers get him out think straight or you're done
What shall I do? There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not
mine own shame as much as his peril. I had rather than a thousand pound
he were out of the house.
What should I do? There's a gentleman here, a dear friend of mine, and I'm more worried about his danger than my own shame. I'd give a thousand pounds to get him out of the house.
What do I do? He's a friend and I'm way more worried about him than about me. I'd give anything to get him out of here.
what do i do? how do i get him out? i'd pay anything
For shame! Never stand “you had rather” and “you had rather”. Your
husband’s here at hand. Bethink you of some conveyance. In the house
you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived me! Look, here is a
basket. If he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and
throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking. Or—it is
whiting-time—send him by your two men to Datchet Mead.
Stop wasting time with ifs and buts! Your husband is practically here. Think of a way out. You can't hide him in the house. Oh, how you've deceived me! Look, here's a basket. If he's a normal size, he can squeeze in here, and we can pile dirty laundry on top of it like it's going to be washed. Or since it's laundry time, send him with your two men to Datchet Mead.
Come on, stop hesitating! Your husband's about to get here. Figure something out. You can't hide him in the house! Look, this basket - if he fits, he can hide in it and we'll throw dirty clothes on top like we're sending laundry out. Or since it's laundry day, send him with the servants to Datchet Mead.
stop stalling husband's here basket idea or send him with servants
He’s too big to go in there. What shall I do?
He's too big to fit in there. What should I do?
He's too fat to fit in that. What do I do?
he won't fit what now?
[_Comes out of hiding_.] Let me see ’t, let me see ’t! O, let me see
’t! I’ll in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.
Let me see it, let me see it! Oh, let me see it! I'll go in, I'll go in. Follow your friend's advice. I'll go in.
Show me, show me! Oh, let me look at it! I'm getting in, I'm getting in there. Just do what your friend says. I'm going in.
let me see i'll get in i'm hiding
What, Sir John Falstaff? Are these your letters, knight?
What, Sir John Falstaff? Are these love letters from you?
So it's Sir John Falstaff? These are your love letters?
falstaff? these your love letters?
I love thee, and none but thee. Help me away. Let me creep in here.
I’ll never—
I love you and only you. Help me escape. Let me get in here. I'll never—
I love you, only you. Help me get away. Let me hide in here. I'll never—
love you only help me get in
Help to cover your master, boy.—Call your men, Mistress Ford.—You
dissembling knight!
Help cover up your master, boy.—Call your servants, Mistress Ford.—You're a lying, fake knight!
Help hide your master, boy.—Get your servants, Mistress Ford.—You're a lying hypocrite!
hide him call servants fake knight
What, John! Robert! John!
Where are you, John? Robert! John!
John! Robert! John!
someone help now
Go, take up these clothes here, quickly. Where’s the cowl-staff? Look
how you drumble! Carry them to the laundress in Datchet Mead; quickly,
come.
Go, pick up these clothes here, quickly. Where's the laundry staff? Look how slowly you're moving! Carry them to the laundress in Datchet Mead; quickly, come.
Go on, grab these clothes now! Where's that laundry pole? Move faster! Take them to the laundress at Datchet Mead, and hurry!
grab the clothes quick where's the pole stop being slow go to datchet mead now
Pray you come near. If I suspect without cause, why then make sport at
me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.—How now? Whither bear you
this?
JOHN and ROBERT.
To the laundress, forsooth.
Please come closer. If I'm suspicious without reason, then go ahead and make fun of me, let me be your joke; I deserve it.—What now? Where are you carrying that? JOHN and ROBERT. To the laundry service, sir.
Come over here. If I'm being paranoid for no reason, laugh at me, I deserve it.—Okay, where are you taking that? JOHN and ROBERT. To the laundry place, sir.
laugh at me i deserve it where you taking it? to laundry
Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle
with buck-washing!
Why, what business is it of yours where they're taking it? You'd be better off worrying about laundry work!
Why do you care where they're taking it? You should worry about your own laundry business!
why do you care? worry about laundry
Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck! Ay,
buck! I warrant you, buck, and of the season too, it shall appear.
Cuckold? I wish I could wash that word out of my life! Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold! Yes, cuckold! And if there's any doubt, I promise you, my suspicion will be proven right.
Cheating? I wish I could get that word out of my head! Over and over - that's what I keep thinking about! And I'm telling you, I'm gonna find proof.
cuckold cuckold cuckold i'll prove it wait and see
Gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight; I’ll tell you my dream. Here, here,
here be my keys. Ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out. I’ll
warrant we’ll unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first. [_Locks the
Gentlemen, I had a dream last night; I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here are my keys. Go up to my chambers, search, seek, find him. I promise we'll drive out this fox. Let me block this way first.
Gentlemen, I had a dream tonight about this; I'll tell you what it was. Here are my keys. Go upstairs and search everywhere. I'm sure we'll find this troublemaker. Let me secure this door first.
i had a dream about this heres my keys search upstairs well find him im blocking the door
Good Master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.
Good Master Ford, calm down: you're being too hard on yourself.
Master Ford, relax: you're hurting yourself with this.
relax you're hurting yourself
True, Master Page.—Up, gentlemen, you shall see sport anon. Follow me,
gentlemen.
You're right, Master Page.—Come on, gentlemen, you'll see some action shortly. Follow me, gentlemen.
You're right, Master Page.—Guys, you're about to see something interesting. Come on.
let's go follow me action coming
The laundry basket is not just a plot device; it's the physical embodiment of the play's central joke about Falstaff. He is a man who has been reduced from a knight to a would-be seducer to a piece of laundry. The basket was prepared by the women in the previous scene with full knowledge that Falstaff might end up in it; when he crawls in, he is collaborating in his own reduction. What makes it funny rather than cruel is that Falstaff does it willingly, thinking he's escaping. The basket carries him not to safety but to the Thames, where he will be dumped like actual dirty laundry. His body, which has been the center of so much scheming, becomes treated as literal waste.
This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.
This is very fantastical behavior and jealousy.
This is all very strange and jealous behavior.
this jealousy is wild so fantastical
By gar, ’tis no the fashion of France; it is not jealous in France.
By God, that's not how it is in France; Frenchmen don't get jealous like that.
Good God, that's not how it works in France; we don't get jealous like that.
that's not french we don't do jealousy
Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search.
Follow him anyway, gentlemen; let's see what his search turns up.
Follow him anyway, guys; let's see what he finds.
follow him let's see what he finds
Is there not a double excellency in this?
Isn't it doubly excellent? Isn't it perfect on two levels?
Isn't this amazing on every level?
this is perfect on every level
I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir
John.
I don't know which I like better: my husband being fooled, or Sir John being fooled.
I can't decide what's more fun: my husband being tricked or Sir John being tricked.
both of them tricked which is better?
What a taking was he in when your husband asked who was in the basket!
How panicked he was when your husband asked who was in the basket!
You should have seen how freaked out he got when your husband asked who was in the basket!
he was so scared when asked about basket
I am half afraid he will have need of washing, so throwing him into the
water will do him a benefit.
I'm almost worried he'll need washing anyway, so throwing him in the water might actually help him.
I'm kinda worried he might need a bath, so throwing him in the water might be good for him.
he probably needs washing water might help
Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the
same distress.
To hell with him, dishonest scoundrel! I wish all men like him were in the same trouble.
That dishonest creep! I wish all guys like him were getting what he deserves.
dishonest creep wish all his type got the same
I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff’s being
here, for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.
I think my husband has some strong suspicion that Falstaff was here, because I've never seen him so extremely jealous before.
I think my husband figured out Falstaff was here - I've never seen him this jealous before.
husband figured it out never seen him this jealous
I will lay a plot to try that, and we will yet have more tricks with
Falstaff. His dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.
I'll come up with a plan to test that, and we'll play more tricks on Falstaff. His desperate weakness probably won't be cured by just this one attempt.
I'll test that, and we're gonna mess with him again. He's not gonna learn from this one trick.
more tricks coming this won't cure him
Shall we send that foolish carrion Mistress Quickly to him, and excuse
his throwing into the water, and give him another hope, to betray him
to another punishment?
Should we send that stupid Mistress Quickly to him, make up an excuse for why he got thrown in the water, give him another false hope so we can set him up for a different punishment?
Should we send that dumb Mistress Quickly to him, tell him the water thing wasn't your fault, give him another chance so we can trick him into more trouble?
send quickly to him give him false hope more punishment coming
We will do it. Let him be sent for tomorrow eight o’clock to have
amends.
We'll do it. Let him be sent for tomorrow at eight o'clock for compensation.
Yeah, let's do it. Have him come tomorrow at eight for his apology.
tomorrow 8am for apology
I cannot find him. Maybe the knave bragged of that he could not
compass.
I cannot find him. Maybe the rogue only bragged about what he couldn't actually accomplish.
I can't find him anywhere. Maybe the villain was just bragging about something he couldn't actually do.
can't find him musta been bragging about stuff he can't do
[_Aside to Mistress Ford_.] Heard you that?
Did you hear that?
Did you catch what he just said?
hear that?
You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
Are you treating me well, Master Ford?
You treating me right, Master Ford?
you treating me right?
Ay, I do so.
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I am.
yes
Heaven make you better than your thoughts!
May heaven make you better than your suspicious thoughts!
I hope you can think better than this!
be better than your thoughts
Amen!
Amen!
amen!
amen!
You do yourself mighty wrong, Master Ford.
You're doing yourself a great injustice, Master Ford.
You're being way too hard on yourself, Master Ford.
too hard on yourself
Ay, ay; I must bear it.
Yes, yes; I have to accept it.
I know, I know; I have to live with it.
i know i gotta deal with it
If there be anypody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the
coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of
judgment!
If there's anybody hiding in the house, in the bedrooms, in the chests, in the closets, may heaven forgive me for my sins on the day of judgment!
If there's anyone hiding anywhere in this house - bedrooms, chests, closets - may God forgive me!
if he's hidden anywhere forgive me god
Be gar, nor I too; there is nobodies.
By God, me too; there's nobody here.
Me too - there's nobody here.
nobody here
Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil
suggests this imagination? I would not ha’ your distemper in this kind
for the wealth of Windsor Castle.
Shame on you, Master Ford, aren't you ashamed? What evil spirit, what devil is putting these ideas in your head? I wouldn't have your jealous illness for all the wealth of Windsor Castle.
Come on, Master Ford, you should be embarrassed! What devil is making you think like this? I wouldn't want your jealousy for all the money in England.
shame on you what's wrong with you? this jealousy is wrong
’Tis my fault, Master Page. I suffer for it.
It's my fault, Master Page. I'm suffering for it.
It's on me, Master Page. I'm dealing with it.
my fault i'm paying for it
You suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is as honest a ’omans as I
will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.
You're suffering because of a guilty conscience. Your wife is as honest a woman as I would choose among five thousand, even five hundred more.
You're guilty, that's why you're suffering. Your wife is as good as any woman you could find.
guilty conscience your wife is honest best of all
By gar, I see ’tis an honest woman.
By God, I can see she's an honest woman.
Yeah, she's clearly a good woman.
honest woman
Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come, walk in the park. I pray you
pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you why I have done this.
Come, wife, come, Mistress Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray heartily,
pardon me.
Well, I promised you dinner. Come, come, let's walk in the park. Please forgive me; I'll explain later why I did this. Come, wife, come, Mistress Page, I'm asking you to forgive me. Please, forgive me.
Anyway, I promised you dinner. Let's go for a walk in the park. I'm sorry; I'll explain later why I acted crazy. Come on, everyone, I'm begging you to forgive me.
sorry i'll explain later can you forgive me?
Let’s go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we’ll mock him. I do invite you
tomorrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we’ll a-birding
together; I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be so?
Let's go inside, gentlemen, but believe me, we're going to mock him. I'm inviting you to my house tomorrow morning for breakfast; after that, we'll go hunting with hawks together; I have an excellent bird for hunting in the bushes. Does that sound good?
Come on in, guys, but we're totally gonna make fun of him. I'm inviting you to breakfast tomorrow at my place; then we'll go hawking together. I've got a great hawk. You in?
come inside we'll mock him breakfast tomorrow go hawking shall we?
Anything.
Anything.
anything.
anything.
If there is one, I shall make two in the company.
If there's one of you, I'll make two in the group.
If there's one person, I'll be two to balance things out.
i'll make the numbers work
If there be one or two, I shall make-a the turd.
If there are one or two, I'll make three in the party.
If there's one or two, I'll make it three.
i'll make three
Pray you go, Master Page.
Please go, Master Page.
Come on, let's go, Master Page.
let's go
I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on the lousy knave, mine host.
I ask you, remember tomorrow to think about that lousy knave, the innkeeper.
Hey, remember tomorrow - that lousy innkeeper deserves a memory.
remember that lousy innkeeper tomorrow
Dat is good, by gar, with all my heart.
That's good, by God, with all my heart.
That's good, I'm with you on that.
good i'm with you
A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his mockeries!
That lousy knave, with his sneering jokes and his mockeries!
That lousy jerk and his mean jokes and insults!
lousy jerk with his mean jokes
The Reckoning
The scene is the mechanical heart of the Falstaff plot — farce at its purest. Two women orchestrate an elaborate humiliation while Falstaff, who has spent three acts convinced he is a seducer, becomes a piece of laundry. The comedy comes from the radical gap between his language (courtly, grandiose) and his fate (stuffed in a basket full of dirty washing). He is trapped not by a sword or a law, but by his own appetite and the women's precision.
If this happened today…
Imagine a con man shows up at the door certain he's going to seduce his mark — he's practiced his lines, he's perfected his charm — and the woman he's trying to con has already arranged with her friend to literally dump him in a laundry basket and throw him in a river. That's the gap between Falstaff's fantasy and his reality.