No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta fellow there,
whose villanous saffron would have made all the unbak’d and doughy
youth of a nation in his colour. Your daughter-in-law had been alive at
this hour, and your son here at home, more advanc’d by the king than by
that red-tail’d humble-bee I speak of.
No, no, no, your son was deceived by that false-hearted fellow there, whose vile yellow demeanor would have turned all the soft, naive young people of a nation into imitators of him. Your daughter-in-law would be alive at this very moment, and your son would be here at home, advanced further by the king than by that cowardly hanger-on I am speaking of.
No, no, no, your son was taken in by that foolish fellow in his fancy clothes. His terrible manner would have turned all the innocent young people of a nation into copies of him. Your daughter-in-law would still be alive right now, and your son would be home here with better prospects from the king than from that cowardly nobody I am speaking of.
ur son got fooled by that fake. he woulda ruined all the young ppl. ur daughter-in-law woulda lived. ur son woulda had better prospects
I would I had not known him; it was the death of the most virtuous
gentlewoman that ever nature had praise for creating. If she had
partaken of my flesh and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I
could not have owed her a more rooted love.
I wish I had never known him. His actions caused the death of the most virtuous lady that nature was ever praised for creating. Even if she had been my own daughter born from my body and had cost me the deepest suffering as a mother, I could not have loved her more deeply.
I wish I had never known him. He caused the death of the most virtuous woman nature ever created. Even if she had been my own daughter—if she had cost me everything a mother goes through—I could not have loved her more than I did.
i wish i never knew him. he killed the most virtuous woman ever. i loved her like a daughter
’Twas a good lady, ’twas a good lady. We may pick a thousand salads ere
we light on such another herb.
She was a good lady, a good lady indeed. We may gather a thousand salads before we find such another herb.
She was a good lady, a very good lady. You could go through a thousand salads before you find another herb as good as her.
she was so good. youd go thru a thousand salads b4 finding another like her
Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the salad, or, rather, the
herb of grace.
Indeed, sir, she was the finest, most delicate herb of the salad, or truly the essence of grace itself.
Indeed, sir, she was the sweetest herb of the salad, or rather, the very essence of grace.
she was the sweetest herb. pure grace
They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs.
They are not herbs for eating, you fool; they are fragrant herbs for the nose.
They are not herbs for eating, you fool; they are fragrant flowers meant to be smelled.
theyre not herbs to eat idiot. theyre fragrant flowers
I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in grass.
I am no Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much skill in plants.
I am no Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I do not know much about plants.
i dont know much about plants dude
Whether dost thou profess thyself,—a knave or a fool?
Which do you claim to be—a rogue or a fool?
So which are you—a scoundrel or a fool?
so r u a rogue or a fool
A fool, sir, at a woman’s service, and a knave at a man’s.
A fool, sir, when serving a woman, and a rogue when serving a man.
For women I am a fool, but for men a complete scoundrel.
fool for women. rogue for men
Your distinction?
Your distinction?
your distinction?
Your distinction?
I would cozen the man of his wife, and do his service.
I would deceive the man of his wife and serve him.
I would trick the man out of his wife and then serve him.
id trick him outta his wife & still serve him
So you were a knave at his service indeed.
So you were a rogue in his service indeed.
So you were a real scoundrel in his service.
so ur a total rogue
And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.
And I would give his wife my jester's wand, sir, to serve her.
And I would give his wife my jester's toy, sir, to do what she wants.
id give his wife my toys to serve her
I will subscribe for thee; thou art both knave and fool.
I will attest to this; you are both a rogue and a fool.
I will back up what you have said; you are both a knave and a fool.
agreed. ur both a rogue & fool
The Clown's speech about the 'narrow gate' (4-5-023) is one of the most genuinely thoughtful moments in a play that mostly uses him for ribaldry. He's quoting Matthew 7:13-14 ('straight is the gate and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it') and applying it to worldly ambition. His point is sharp: pomp — pride, social display, the currency Parolles trafficked in — is too fat for the narrow gate. Most people take the wide, pleasant road. He claims to want the narrow one. This from a man who just made dirty jokes about a woman's husband. Shakespeare's fools are often the characters with the clearest moral vision — they speak truth because they're not competing for anything. The Clown's theology here is comic in delivery but serious in substance.
At your service.
At your service.
at your service.
At your service.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as great a prince as you
are.
Why, sir, if you do not want me, I can serve someone just as important as you are.
Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve someone just as important as you.
if i cant serve u ill serve someone just as important
Who’s that? a Frenchman?
Who is that, a Frenchman?
You mean a Frenchman?
who? a frenchman?
Faith, sir, ’a has an English name; but his phisnomy is more hotter in
France than there.
In truth, sir, he has an English name, but his appearance is more notable in France than in England.
Well sir, he has an English name, but his appearance is better known in France than in England.
he's got an english name but he's way more known in france
What prince is that?
Which prince are you referring to?
What prince are you talking about?
what prince
The black prince, sir; alias the prince of darkness; alias the devil.
The Black Prince, sir—or the prince of darkness—which is to say, the devil himself.
The Black Prince, sir—or the prince of darkness—or the devil.
the black prince aka the prince of darkness aka the devil
Hold thee, there’s my purse. I give thee not this to suggest thee from
thy master thou talk’st of; serve him still.
Here, take this purse. I give you this not to persuade you away from the master you speak of; serve him still.
Here, take my purse. I am not giving you this to make you leave the master you mentioned. Keep serving him.
take my purse. im not trying to make u leave yr master. keep serving him
I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a great fire, and the
master I speak of ever keeps a good fire. But sure he is the prince of
the world; let his nobility remain in’s court. I am for the house with
the narrow gate, which I take to be too little for pomp to enter: some
that humble themselves may, but the many will be too chill and tender,
and they’ll be for the flow’ry way that leads to the broad gate and the
great fire.
I am a simple fellow, sir, who has always loved a great fire, and the master I speak of always keeps a good fire. But surely he is the greatest power in the world; let his nobility stay in his court. I am for the house with the narrow gate, which I believe is too small for pride to enter: some who humble themselves may enter, but most will be too weak and delicate, and they will go for the flowery path that leads to the broad gate and the great fire.
I am a simple man, sir, who has always loved a great fire, and the master I am talking about keeps an excellent fire. But he is definitely the most powerful in the world; let his nobility stay in his court. I prefer the house with the narrow gate, which I think is too small for grand people to enter: some humble people might make it, but most will be too weak and fragile, and they will go for the pretty path that leads to the wide gate and the huge fire.
i like great fires. he keeps a great fire. hes the most powerful. i prefer the narrow gate but most ppl go for the broad gate & the big fire
Go thy ways, I begin to be a-weary of thee; and I tell thee so before,
because I would not fall out with thee. Go thy ways; let my horses be
well look’d to, without any tricks.
Go away. I am becoming tired of you, and I tell you this beforehand so I do not quarrel with you. Go away; make sure my horses are well cared for, without any tricks.
Go on, I am getting tired of you. I am telling you now so we do not end up fighting. Go away and take care of my horses properly, without any tricks.
ur annoying me. go away. take care of my horses w/ no tricks
If I put any tricks upon ’em, sir, they shall be jades’ tricks, which
are their own right by the law of nature.
If I play tricks on them, sir, they will be tricks that lazy horses naturally play, which is just their nature.
If I do any tricks with them, sir, they will be the tricks that lazy horses naturally play, which is just their nature.
if i trick them itll be lazy horse tricks. thats natural
A shrewd knave, and an unhappy.
A sharp-witted rogue, and an unfortunate one.
A clever rogue, and an unlucky one.
clever rogue. unlucky tho
So he is. My lord that’s gone made himself much sport out of him; by
his authority he remains here, which he thinks is a patent for his
sauciness; and indeed he has no pace, but runs where he will.
Indeed he is. My dead lord found great entertainment in him; because of his position he remains here, which he thinks gives him permission for his impertinence. And indeed he does not move at a steady pace, but runs wherever he wants.
He certainly is. My late husband got a lot of entertainment out of him. Because he works for us, he stays here, which makes him think he can be as rude as he wants. And he really does not move at any steady pace—he just runs around wherever he feels like.
my late husband loved him. hes here so he thinks he can be rude. he goes wherever he wants
The Clown announces Bertram's return with the detail of a velvet patch on his face — possible evidence of a wound, covered in expensive cloth. This small image does real work. Bertram left for Florence as a boy avoiding his responsibilities. He returns as a soldier, visibly marked by war. Whether the scar was genuinely earned in battle or is an affectation — the Clown leans toward the latter — it changes the visual register of his return. He's coming back different, or at least performing difference. Lafew wants to see 'the young noble soldier.' The Clown says it's a 'carbonado'd face.' Both interpretations will be put to the test in 5-3, when Bertram's actual character — his lies, his evasions, his final capitulation — is more revealing than any scar.
I like him well; ’tis not amiss. And I was about to tell you, since I
heard of the good lady’s death, and that my lord your son was upon his
return home, I moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of my
daughter; which, in the minority of them both, his majesty out of a
self-gracious remembrance did first propose. His highness hath promis’d
me to do it; and, to stop up the displeasure he hath conceived against
your son, there is no fitter matter. How does your ladyship like it?
I like him well; it is not inappropriate. And I was about to tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death and that your son was returning home, I asked the king my master to speak on behalf of my daughter. Earlier, when they were both young, his majesty was kind enough to first suggest this himself. His highness has promised me to do it, and there is no better way to make up for the king's anger at your son. What does your ladyship think of it?
I like him well enough. It is not bad. And I was about to tell you—since I heard the good lady died and your son is coming home—I have asked the king to speak up for my daughter. When they were both younger, the king himself kindly suggested this. He has promised me he will do it, and this is the perfect way to make him forget his anger at your son. What do you think of it, madam?
i like him. since the lady died & ur son's coming home i asked the king to help my daughter. hes promised. best way to make him forget his anger at ur son
With very much content, my lord, and I wish it happily effected.
With great pleasure, my lord, and I hope it works out well.
With great pleasure, my lord, and I wish it turns out well.
id be very happy. i hope it works out
His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able body as when he
number’d thirty; he will be here tomorrow, or I am deceived by him that
in such intelligence hath seldom fail’d.
His highness is coming fast from Marseilles, in as good physical condition as when he was thirty years old; he will be here tomorrow, or I am fooled by the messenger who has rarely been wrong with such information.
His highness is traveling fast from Marseilles, in as good shape as when he was thirty; he will be here tomorrow, or I am mistaken about the person who has rarely given me bad information.
the king's coming from marseilles tomorrow in great shape. the messenger who told me is never wrong
It rejoices me that I hope I shall see him ere I die. I have letters
that my son will be here tonight. I shall beseech your lordship to
remain with me till they meet together.
I am glad that I hope to see him before I die. I have received letters that my son will be here tonight. I will ask your lordship to stay with me until they meet together.
I am happy that I hope to see him before I die. I have letters saying my son will be here tonight. I will ask you to stay with me until they meet.
glad ill see him b4 i die. my son's coming tonight. pls stay w/ me till they meet
Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might safely be admitted.
Madam, I was wondering how I could properly be admitted here.
Madam, I was wondering how I could appropriately stay here.
was wondering how id properly stay
You need but plead your honourable privilege.
You need only claim your honorable privilege.
Simply invoke your noble status.
just claim yr privilege
Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but, I thank my God, it holds
yet.
Lady, I have taken a generous interpretation of that privilege, and thank God it still holds.
Lady, I have been quite liberal with that privilege, and fortunately it still applies.
ive been generous w/ that privilege. thank god it still works
O madam, yonder’s my lord your son with a patch of velvet on’s face;
whether there be a scar under’t or no, the velvet knows; but ’tis a
goodly patch of velvet. His left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a
half, but his right cheek is worn bare.
Oh madam, there is your son with a velvet patch on his face; whether there is a scar under it or not, only the velvet knows, but it is a fine velvet patch. His left cheek is thick with beard, but his right cheek is bare and worn.
Oh madam, there is your son with a velvet patch on his face. Whether there is a scar under it, who knows, but it is a nice patch of velvet. His left cheek has a thick beard, but his right cheek is bare and worn.
ur son's got a velvet patch on his face. one cheek's got beard the other's bare
A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery of honour; so
belike is that.
A scar nobly acquired, or a noble scar, is a fine badge of honor; so perhaps that is the case.
A scar gotten nobly, or a noble scar, is a fine sign of honor; so it probably is here.
a noble scar is a sign of honor. maybe thats what it is
But it is your carbonado’d face.
But it is your scored, marked face.
But it is your scarred and marked face.
but its yr scarred face
Let us go see your son, I pray you. I long to talk with the young noble
soldier.
Let us go see your son, I ask you. I wish to talk with the young noble soldier.
Let us go see your son, please. I want to talk with this young noble soldier.
lets go see yr son. wanna talk to the soldier
Faith, there’s a dozen of ’em, with delicate fine hats, and most
courteous feathers, which bow the head and nod at every man.
In truth, there are a dozen of them with fine delicate hats and very courteous feathers that bow and nod at every man.
Well, there are a dozen of them with delicate fine hats and very courteous feathers that bow and nod at everyone.
theres a dozen of them w fine hats & fancy feathers that bow to everyone
The Reckoning
The play needs a breath before its final act, and it takes it here. The mourning for Helena feels genuine — Lafew's 'We may pick a thousand salads ere we light on such another herb' is one of the most touching eulogies in the play. The comedy with the Clown has teeth: his riff on the Devil as his employer is genuinely theological and very funny. And the scene closes with news that the King is coming and Bertram with him — the pieces moving into position for the finale. It's the calm before the storm, but the calm has texture.
If this happened today…
The waiting room before the big family confrontation. The grandmother and her old friend are sipping tea, quietly devastated about the daughter-in-law who died after the son ran off. The grandfather's old frenemy shows up. There's a lot of dignified sadness, some uncomfortable jokes from the household assistant who has no read on the room, and then someone checks their phone: 'The car is thirty minutes out.' The whole family is about to be in the same room for the first time in two years.