Sonnet 117

Accuse me of betraying your love through distraction and infidelity; I boast of these failings only to test whether your constancy will survive proof of my unworthiness.

Original

Modern

1 Accuse me thus, that I have scanted all,

Accuse me thus: that I have withheld everything,

2 Wherein I should your great deserts repay,

In which I should repay your great worth,

3 Forgot upon your dearest love to call,

Forgot to call upon your most beloved love,

4 Whereto all bonds do tie me day by day,

To which all commitments bind me every day,

5 That I have frequent been with unknown minds,

That I have been frequent with unfamiliar people,

6 And given to time your own dear-purchased right,

And wasted on time itself your own hard-earned claim,

7 That I have hoisted sail to all the winds

That I have stretched my sails toward every breeze,

Wordplay: “hoisted sail to all the winds”

A nautical metaphor suggesting both literal sailing and metaphorical wandering; winds are forces beyond control, but the speaker hoists sail consciously.

8 Which should transport me farthest from your sight.

Which should carry me farthest from your sight.

Volta The volta shifts from accusation to appeal: the speaker begs not to be shot by the beloved's 'wakened hate' because his transgression was designed to prove love's constancy.

9 Book both my wilfulness and errors down,

Record both my stubbornness and mistakes down,

10 And on just proof surmise, accumulate,

And on solid evidence and suspicion, pile them up,

11 Bring me within the level of your frown,

Bring me within the range of your displeasure,

12 But shoot not at me in your wakened hate:

But do not strike at me with your awakened hatred:

13 Since my appeal says I did strive to prove

Since my defense says I worked to demonstrate

14 The constancy and virtue of your love.

The steadiness and virtue of your love.

Transgression as Test

The speaker catalogs his infidelities: he's 'scanted' the beloved's deserts, forgotten to repay them, been 'frequent with unknown minds,' given away the beloved's 'dear-purchased right,' and sailed toward distant horizons. Yet these are presented as deliberate provocations, not genuine betrayals. The speaker is testing whether the beloved will remain constant despite provocation—a dangerous and manipulative strategy dressed up as penitence.

The Ambiguous Appeal

Lines 9-12 ask the beloved to 'book' the speaker's willfulness but 'shoot not' in wakened hate. The speaker simultaneously invites judgment and begs to avoid it. This contradiction is resolved by the couplet's claim: the speaker was 'striving to prove / The constancy and virtue of your love.' The transgressions were designed to test the beloved's love—a rhetorical strategy that frames infidelity as devotion.

If this happened today

You've been distant, hung out with other people, neglected them. Now you're saying: go ahead, be angry at me, test whether you actually love me or just the idea of me. It's a confessional designed to prove something.

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