Good morrow to the good Simonides.
Good morning to the good King Simonides.
Good morning, your majesty.
morning.
Knights, from my daughter this I let you know,
That for this twelvemonth she’ll not undertake
A married life.
Her reason to herself is only known,
Which yet from her by no means can I get.
Gentlemen, I must tell you my daughter's decision: for the next twelve months, she won't marry. Her reasons she keeps to herself, and I can't get them from her.
Listen, my daughter's not getting married for a year. She won't tell me why, and I can't make her.
no marriage. one year. she won't say why.
May we not get access to her, my lord?
Can we not see her, my lord?
Can't we at least see her?
can we see her?
Faith, by no means; she hath so strictly tied
Her to her chamber, that ’tis impossible.
One twelve moons more she’ll wear Diana’s livery;
This by the eye of Cynthia hath she vow’d,
And on her virgin honour will not break it.
No, absolutely not. She's locked herself in her room so strictly it's impossible. For twelve more months, she'll be devoted to Diana, the goddess of chastity. She's sworn by Cynthia and the moon itself, and she'll never break her virgin oath.
No way. She's locked in her room and won't come out. For a whole year she's devoted to Diana, the virgin goddess. She swore on everything—moon, stars, all of it. She's not breaking that promise.
locked in room. won't leave. year-long vow. virgin goddess. sworn forever.
Loath to bid farewell, we take our leaves.
Reluctant to say goodbye, we take our leave.
We hate to leave, but we're going.
goodbye. we're leaving.
So, they are well dispatch’d; now to my daughter’s letter:
She tells me here, she’ll wed the stranger knight,
Or never more to view nor day nor light.
’Tis well, mistress; your choice agrees with mine;
I like that well: nay, how absolute she’s in’t,
Not minding whether I dislike or no!
Well, I do commend her choice;
And will no longer have it be delay’d.
Soft! here he comes: I must dissemble it.
Good, they're gone. Now let me read my daughter's letter. She tells me she'll marry the stranger knight, or else she'll never see daylight again. Well, girl, your choice matches mine. I like it. And look how absolutely certain she is—not even worried whether I approve! Well, I do approve her choice, and I won't delay this any longer. Wait—here he comes. I need to hide what I know.
Good, they're out of here. Now let me read this letter from my daughter. She says she'll marry that strange knight or else she'll die—never see sunlight again. Alright, girl, you picked the same guy I wanted. I like that. And she's so confident about it, doesn't even care if I approve! Well, I approve. Let's not drag this out. But wait—he's coming. I need to act surprised.
read letter. she'll marry him. or die. my choice too. don't delay. he's coming. pretend surprise.
All fortune to the good Simonides!
Good fortune to the good Simonides!
All the best to you, sir.
fortune to you.
To you as much. Sir, I am beholding to you
For your sweet music this last night: I do
Protest my ears were never better fed
With such delightful pleasing harmony.
And to you as much. Sir, I owe you thanks for your wonderful music last night. I swear, my ears have never been so well entertained with such delightful and pleasing harmony.
And to you. Sir, thanks for the music last night. It was the best thing my ears have ever heard.
thanks for music. best thing ever heard.
It is your grace’s pleasure to commend;
Not my desert.
Your grace is kind to praise me. I don't deserve such praise.
You're being generous. I didn't deserve that praise.
you're kind. i don't deserve it.
Sir, you are music’s master.
Sir, you're a master of music.
You're amazing at music.
you're great at music.
The worst of all her scholars, my good lord.
I'm the worst student of it, my good lord.
I'm terrible at it, honestly.
i'm terrible.
Let me ask you one thing:
What do you think of my daughter, sir?
Let me ask you something: What's your opinion of my daughter, sir?
So what do you think of my daughter?
what do you think of her?
A most virtuous princess.
A most virtuous and honorable princess.
She's virtuous and honorable—perfect.
virtuous. honor able.
And she is fair too, is she not?
And she's beautiful too, isn't she?
And she's pretty, right?
pretty too?
As a fair day in summer, wondrous fair.
Beautiful like a perfect summer day—wonderfully fair.
Beautiful like the prettiest day in summer—amazing.
summer day beautiful. wonderfully fair.
The play places Simonides and Antiochus as structural mirrors. Both are kings with daughters who attract Pericles. Both test him — Antiochus with a lethal riddle, Simonides with a false accusation. But where Antiochus used the contest to keep suitors away (and to kill the one who knew the truth), Simonides uses the 'test' to push Pericles and Thaisa together. The crucial difference is internal motivation: Antiochus is protecting his crime; Simonides is acting out of genuine delight in his daughter's happiness. This is the play's recurring theme made domestic: good fathers, like good counselors, serve the interests of those they protect rather than themselves. Simonides's willingness to pretend anger while feeling joy is a form of love that Antiochus — who wielded his daughter as a weapon — could never conceive.
Sir, my daughter thinks very well of you;
Ay, so well, that you must be her master,
And she will be your scholar: therefore look to it.
Sir, my daughter thinks very highly of you. In fact, she thinks so well of you that you must become her teacher, and she will be your student. So watch out.
Sir, my daughter really likes you. She likes you so much that you'll be her teacher and she'll be your student. So be careful.
she likes you. a lot. teacher and student. be careful.
I am unworthy for her schoolmaster.
I'm unworthy to be her teacher.
I'm not good enough to teach her.
not worthy.
She thinks not so; peruse this writing else.
She doesn't think so. Read this letter.
She disagrees. Read this.
read this.
’Tis the king’s subtlety to have my life.
O, seek not to entrap me, gracious lord,
A stranger and distressed gentleman,
That never aim’d so high to love your daughter,
But bent all offices to honour her.
This is a trick to kill me. Please, gracious lord, don't trap me. I'm a stranger and a distressed gentleman. I never aimed to love your daughter so high—all I've done is try to honor her.
Wait, this is a trick to murder me. Sir, don't trap me. I'm a stranger, a desperate guy. I never tried to seduce your daughter. I just tried to respect her.
trick? to kill me? stanger. unworthy. just honored her.
Thou hast bewitch’d my daughter,
And thou art a villain.
You bewitched my daughter with magic, and you're a villain!
You put a spell on my daughter! You're a villain!
you bewitched her! villain!
By the gods, I have not:
Never did thought of mine levy offence;
Nor never did my actions yet commence
A deed might gain her love or your displeasure.
By the gods, I haven't! I never had a thought of offending you. I never did anything that would win her love or cause you displeasure.
I swear, I didn't! I never thought of hurting you. I never did anything to make her love me or upset you.
swear i didn't. no offense. nothing to gain her.
Traitor, thou liest.
Traitor, you're lying.
Liar! You're lying!
liar!
Traitor?
Traitor?
Me? A traitor?
traitor?
Ay, traitor.
Yes, traitor.
Yes, a traitor.
yes.
Even in his throat—unless it be the king—
That calls me traitor, I return the lie.
Unless you're the king—and a king can call a man a traitor—I return that insult to your face.
Only the king can call me a traitor, and you can't do it. I'm calling you the liar.
only king can say that. i call you liar.
My actions are as noble as my thoughts,
That never relish’d of a base descent.
I came unto your court for honour’s cause,
And not to be a rebel to her state;
And he that otherwise accounts of me,
This sword shall prove he’s honour’s enemy.
My actions are as noble as my thoughts—I come from good stock. I came to your court for honor's sake, not to betray it. Anyone who says otherwise is honor's enemy, and this sword will prove it.
Everything I've done is noble—I'm from good family. I came here for honor, not to destroy it. Whoever says different is a traitor, and I'll prove it with this sword.
noble actions. good family. here for honor. this sword proves it.
No?
Here comes my daughter, she can witness it.
Really? Here comes my daughter. She can prove it.
Yeah? Here's my daughter. Let's ask her.
here she comes. ask her.
Then, as you are as virtuous as fair,
Resolve your angry father, if my tongue
Did e’er solicit, or my hand subscribe
To any syllable that made love to you.
Since you're as virtuous as you are beautiful, convince your angry father: did my words ever ask for your love, or did I ever commit myself to winning your heart?
You're beautiful and good. Convince your angry father: did I ever try to seduce you? Did I ever make a move?
did i try? did i make a move? convince him.
Why, sir, say if you had,
Who takes offence at that would make me glad?
Why, sir, if you had, wouldn't that make me glad? Who would take offense at love?
So what? If you had tried, I'd be happy! Who doesn't want to be loved?
if you had, i'd be glad. love isn't offense.
Yea, mistress, are you so peremptory?
Mistress, are you being so headstrong?
Are you being stubborn?
stubborn?
Almost everything funny in 2-5 derives from Pericles not knowing what the audience knows. The scene gives us two layers of information: Simonides's private delight (exposed in the aside) and Pericles's public terror (on full display). The farcical escalation — 'bewitched,' 'villain,' 'traitor' — would be threatening in another context. Here it's a pantomime of paternal displeasure, and we watch it knowing that every line is the opposite of what Simonides actually thinks. Pericles's single-word response ('Traitor?') is perfectly timed: a beat of silence before the fury arrives. The play earns the comedy by first earning our sympathy for Pericles — we understand why he's scared, which makes his righteous indignation both funny and moving at once.
Yes, if you love me, sir.
Only if you love me, sir.
Only if you love me.
if you love me.
Even as my life my blood that fosters it.
I love you as much as I love my own life—the blood that keeps it alive.
I love you more than life itself.
love you like life.
What, are you both agreed?
So you both agree to this?
You both agree?
you both agree?
Yes, if’t please your majesty.
Yes, if it pleases your majesty.
Yes, if you approve.
if you approve.
It pleaseth me so well, that I will see you wed;
And then with what haste you can, get you to bed.
I'm so pleased with this that I'll see you married right away. Then get to bed as quickly as you can.
I'm so happy about this that I'll marry you immediately. Then go to bed and get busy.
so pleased. marry now. then bed. hurry.
The Reckoning
This scene is the play's one sustained comic sequence — a king who wants exactly what's happening, pretending to rage against it. Simonides is playing both sides of the exchange at once: the stern father for Pericles's benefit, and the indulgent parent delighting in Thaisa's boldness for his own. What makes it work is that Pericles never gets the joke. His furious self-defense ('My actions are as noble as my thoughts') is entirely sincere — which makes it funnier still. The scene ends with the play's fastest marriage proposal: four words from Thaisa, two from Pericles, one question, one answer, and off to bed.
If this happened today…
A father who already secretly loves his daughter's boyfriend 'accidentally' shows the boyfriend his daughter's texts confessing her feelings. The boyfriend panics, assuming he's being accused of something. The father escalates — 'you've been manipulating her' — and the boyfriend fires back with dignified fury. The father drops the act, puts their hands together, and tells them to stop arguing and go get married.