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Act 3, Scene 2 — A Room in Leonato’s House.
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The argument Benedick's friends mock his obvious lovesickness; Don John tells Don Pedro and Claudio that Hero is unchaste and invites them to watch the proof; the Watch overhears Borachio boasting of the deception and arrests him.
Enter Don Pedro, Claudio, Benedick and Leonato.
DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.

I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.

I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.

i do but stay till your marriage be consummate and then go i toward arragon

CLAUDIO ≋ verse Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

I’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll

vouchsafe me.

I’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me.

I’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me.

i’ll bring you thither, my lord, if you’ll vouchsafe me.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your

marriage, as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I

will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of

his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth; he hath twice or thrice

cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him.

He hath a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for

what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks.

no, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage, as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth; he has twice or thrice cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him. He has a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks.

no, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage, as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth; he has twice or thrice cut Cupid’s bowstring, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him. He has a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks, his tongue speaks.

no that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it i will only be bold with benedick for his company for

BENEDICK Confident bluster masking uncertainty

Gallants, I am not as I have been.

Gallants, I am not as I have been.

Gallants, I'm not as I have been.

gallants, i'm not as i have been.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

So say I: methinks you are sadder.

So say I: I think you are sadder.

So say I: I think you are sadder.

so say i: i think you are sadder.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

I hope he be in love.

I hope he be in love.

I hope he be in love.

i hope he be in love.

DON PEDRO ≋ verse Warm authority that moves others

Hang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him

to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money.

Hang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money.

Hang him, truant! there’s no true drop of blood in him to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money.

hang him truant there’s no true drop of blood in him to be truly touched with love if he be sad he wants money

BENEDICK Confident bluster masking uncertainty

I have the tooth-ache.

I have the tooth-ache.

I have the tooth-ache.

i have the tooth-ache.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Draw it.

Draw it.

Draw it.

draw it.

BENEDICK Confident bluster masking uncertainty

Hang it.

Hang it.

Hang it.

hang it.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

you must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

What! sigh for the tooth-ache?

What! sigh for the tooth-ache?

What! sigh for the tooth-ache?

what! sigh for the tooth-ache?

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Where is but a humour or a worm?

Where is but a humour or a worm?

Where is but a humour or a worm?

where is but a humour or a worm?

BENEDICK Confident bluster masking uncertainty

Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

Well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

well, everyone can master a grief but he that has it.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Yet say I, he is in love.

Yet say I, he is in love.

Yet say I, he is in love.

yet say i, he is in love.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy

that he hath to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman

tomorrow; or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the

waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet.

Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no

fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he has to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow; or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he has, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he has to strange disguises; as to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman tomorrow; or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he has, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

there is no appearance of fancy in him unless it be a fancy that he has to strange disguises as to be a dutchman today a frenchman tomorrow or in the shape of two countries at once

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old

signs: a’ brushes his hat a mornings; what should that bode?

If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat a mornings; what should that bode?

If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat a mornings; what should that bode?

if he be not in love with some woman there is no believing old signs: a’ brushes his hat a mornings what should that bode

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Hath any man seen him at the barber’s?

has any man seen him at the barber’s?

has any man seen him at the barber’s?

has any man seen him at the barber’s?

CLAUDIO ≋ verse Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

No, but the barber’s man hath been seen with him; and the

old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis balls.

No, but the barber’s man has been seen with him; and the old ornament of his cheek has already stuffed tennis balls.

No, but the barber’s man has been seen with him; and the old ornament of his cheek has already stuffed tennis balls.

no but the barber’s man has been seen with him and the old ornament of his cheek has already stuffed tennis balls

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Nay, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?

no, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?

no, a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?

no a’ rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

That’s as much as to say the sweet youth’s in love.

That’s as much as to say the sweet youth’s in love.

That’s as much as to say the sweet youth’s in love.

that’s as much as to say the sweet youth’s in love.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

the greatest note of it is his melancholy.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

And when was he wont to wash his face?

And when was he wont to wash his face?

And when was he wont to wash his face?

and when was he wont to wash his face?

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

yea or to paint himself for the which i hear what they say of him

CLAUDIO ≋ verse Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a

lute-string, and now governed by stops.

no, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and now governed by stops.

no, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and now governed by stops.

no but his jesting spirit which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love.

indeed that tells a heavy tale for him conclude conclude he is in love

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Nay, but I know who loves him.

no, but I know who loves him.

no, but I know who loves him.

no, but i know who loves him.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

that would i know too: i warrant, one that knows him not.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all, dies for him.

Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all, dies for him.

Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all, dies for him.

yes and his ill conditions and in despite of all dies for him

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

She shall be buried with her face upwards.

She shall be buried with her face upwards.

She shall be buried with her face upwards.

she shall be buried with her face upwards.

BENEDICK Confident bluster masking uncertainty

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside

with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which

these hobby-horses must not hear.

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache old signior walk aside with me: i have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you which these hobby-horses must not hear

[Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.]
DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

for my life, to break with him about beatrice.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played

their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one

another when they meet.

’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

’Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears won't bite one another when they meet.

’tis even so hero and margaret have by this played their parts with beatrice and then the two bears won't bite one another when they meet

Enter Don John.
DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

My lord and brother, God save you!

My lord and brother, God save you!

My lord and brother, God save you!

my lord and brother, god save you!

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Good den, brother.

Good den, brother.

Good den, brother.

good den, brother.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

if your leisure served, i would speak with you.

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

In private?

In private?

In private?

in private?

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

If it please you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would

speak of concerns him.

If it please you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.

If it please you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him.

if it please you yet count claudio may hear for what i would speak of concerns him

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

What’s the matter?

What’s the matter?

What’s the matter?

what’s the matter?

[To Claudio.] Means your lordship to be married tomorrow?
DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

You know he does.

You know he does.

You know he does.

you know he does.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I know not that, when he knows what I know.

I know not that, when he knows what I know.

I know not that, when he knows what I know.

i know not that, when he knows what i know.

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.

if there be any impediment, i pray you discover it.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim

better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds

you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing

marriage; surely suit ill-spent and labour ill bestowed!

You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart has holp to effect your ensuing marriage; surely suit ill-spent and labour ill bestowed!

You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart has holp to effect your ensuing marriage; surely suit ill-spent and labour ill bestowed!

you may think i love you not: let that appear hereafter and aim better at me by that i now will manifest for my brother i think he holds you well and in dearness of heart has holp to effect your ensuing marriage

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

Why, what’s the matter?

Why, what’s the matter?

Why, what’s the matter?

why, what’s the matter?

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I came hither to tell you; and circumstances shortened,—for she

has been too long a talking of,—the lady is disloyal.

I came here to tell you; and circumstances shortened,—for she has been too long a talking of,—the lady is disloyal.

I came here to tell you; and circumstances shortened,—for she has been too long a talking of,—the lady is disloyal.

i came here to tell you and circumstances shortened —for she has been too long a talking of —the lady is disloyal

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Who, Hero?

Who, Hero?

Who, Hero?

who, hero?

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

Even she: Leonato’s Hero, your Hero, every man’s Hero.

Even she: Leonato’s Hero, your Hero, every man’s Hero.

Even she: Leonato’s Hero, your Hero, every man’s Hero.

even she: leonato’s hero, your hero, every man’s hero.

Why it matters Don John's 'every man's Hero' is the accusation made explicit — he is claiming Hero is sexually available to all men. The cruelty is in the possessive 'your Hero' followed immediately by 'every man's.'
CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

Disloyal?

Disloyal?

Disloyal?

disloyal?

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

The word’s too good to paint out her wickedness; I could

say, she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it.

Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me tonight, you shall see

her chamber window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you

love her then, tomorrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to

change your mind.

The word’s too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say, she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me tonight, you shall see her chamber window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, tomorrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind.

The word’s too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say, she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me tonight, you shall see her chamber window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, tomorrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind.

the word’s too good to paint out her wickedness i could say she were worse: think you of a worse title and i will fit her to it wonder not till further warrant: go but with me tonight

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

May this be so?

May this be so?

May this be so?

may this be so?

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

I will not think it.

I will not think it.

I won't think it.

i won't think it.

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know.

If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more

and heard more, proceed accordingly.

If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.

If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly.

if you dare not trust that you see confess not that you know if you will follow me i will show you enough and when you have seen more and heard more

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

If I see anything tonight why I should not marry her tomorrow,

in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her.

If I see anything tonight why I should not indeed her tomorrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her.

If I see anything tonight why I should not indeed her tomorrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her.

if i see anything tonight why i should not indeed her tomorrow in the congregation where i should wed there will i shame her

Why it matters Claudio's vow is devastating in its immediate specificity — he will publicly shame her, in the church, with everyone watching. He goes from doubt to public punishment in one sentence.
DON PEDRO ≋ verse Warm authority that moves others

And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee

to disgrace her.

And, as I wooed for you to obtain her, I will join with you to disgrace her.

And, as I wooed for you to obtain her, I will join with you to disgrace her.

and as i wooed for you to obtain her i will join with you to disgrace her

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear

it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

I will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself.

i will disparage her no farther till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight and let the issue show itself

DON PEDRO Warm authority that moves others

O day untowardly turned!

O day untowardly turned!

O day untowardly turned!

o day untowardly turned!

CLAUDIO Young passion wanting approval and reassurance

O mischief strangely thwarting!

O mischief strangely thwarting!

O mischief strangely thwarting!

o mischief strangely thwarting!

DON JOHN Barely concealed resentment and bitterness

O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen

the sequel.

O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen the sequel.

O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen the sequel.

o plague right well prevented so will you say when you have seen the sequel

[Exeunt.]
Scene III. A Street.
Enter Dogberry and Verges,
with the Watch.
DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Are you good men and true?

Are you good men and true?

Are you good men and true?

are you good men and true?

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.

Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.

Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation, body and soul.

yea or else it were pity but they should suffer salvation body and soul

"suffer salvation" Verges means 'damnation' — a classic malapropism. He will consistently say the opposite of what he means throughout the scene. Dogberry, who does the same, considers him a worthy partner.
DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should

have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince’s watch.

no, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince’s watch.

no, that were a punishment too good for them, if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen for the Prince’s watch.

no that were a punishment too good for them if they should have any allegiance in them being chosen for the prince’s watch

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.

well, give them their charge, neighbour dogberry.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

First, who think you the most desartless man to be constable?

first who think you the most desartless man to be constable

FIRST WATCH Following orders precisely

Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.

Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.

Hugh Oatcake, sir, or George Seacoal; for they can write and read.

hugh oatcake sir or george seacoal for they can write and read

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Come hither, neighbour Seacoal. God hath blessed you with a good

name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of Fortune; but to write and

read comes by Nature.

Come here, neighbour Seacoal. God has blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of Fortune; but to write and read comes by Nature.

Come here, neighbour Seacoal. God has blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of Fortune; but to write and read comes by Nature.

come here neighbour seacoal god has blessed you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune but to write and read comes by nature

"to be a well-favoured man is the gift of fortune, but to write and read comes by nature" Dogberry has reversed the common wisdom — looks are natural gifts, literacy is taught. But his reversal has its own accidental logic: in Elizabethan England, literacy was by no means universal, so perhaps he's right that it's a natural gift of the mind.
SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

Both which, Master Constable,—

Both which, Master Constable,—

Both which, Master Constable,—

both which, master constable,—

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour,

sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing

and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are

thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the

watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall

comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Prince’s

name.

You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Prince’s name.

You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well, for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear when there is no need of such vanity. You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lanthorn. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to bid any man stand, in the Prince’s name.

you have: i knew it would be your answer well for your favour sir why

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

How, if a’ will not stand?

How, if a’ will not stand?

How, if a’ won't stand?

how, if a’ won't stand?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently

call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank God you are rid of a knave.

why then take no note of him but let him go and presently call the rest of the watch together

Why it matters The comedy of Dogberry's instructions is that they are perfectly designed to ensure no crime is ever stopped. The watch should avoid all confrontation. This makes it even more miraculous that they accidentally catch Borachio.
VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince’s

subjects.

If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince’s subjects.

If he won't stand when he is bidden, he is none of the Prince’s subjects.

if he won't stand when he is bidden he is none of the prince’s subjects

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince’s

subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the

watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

True, and they are to meddle with none but the Prince’s subjects. You shall also make no noise in the streets: for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.

true and they are to meddle with none but the prince’s subjects you shall also make no noise in the streets: for for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured

"most tolerable and not to be endured" Dogberry means 'most intolerable and not to be endured' — the reversal of 'tolerable' for 'intolerable' is his signature. He consistently says the opposite of what he means while remaining completely confident.
SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

We will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch.

we will rather sleep than talk: we know what belongs to a watch

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I

cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your bills be

not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses, and bid those that

are drunk get them to bed.

Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I cannot see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman, for I can't see how sleeping should offend; only have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you are to call at all the alehouses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.

why you speak like an ancient and most quiet watchman for i can't see how sleeping should offend only have a care that your bills be not stolen well

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

How if they will not?

How if they will not?

How if they won't?

how if they won't?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you

not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them

for.

Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they are not the men you took them for.

Why then, let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer, you may say they aren't the men you took them for.

why then let them alone till they are sober: if they make you not then the better answer you may say they aren't the men you took them for

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

Well, sir.

Well, sir.

Well, sir.

well, sir.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your

office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle

or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the more is for your honesty.

if you meet a thief you may suspect him by virtue of your office to be no true man and

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

If we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

if we know him to be a thief, shall we not lay hands on him?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch

pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a

thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your

company.

Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.

Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they that touch pitch will be defiled. The most peaceable way for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself what he is and steal out of your company.

truly by your office you may but i think they that touch pitch will be defiled the most peaceable way for you

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

You have been always called a merciful man, partner.

you have been always called a merciful man, partner.

DOGBERRY ≋ verse Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who

hath any honesty in him.

Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who has any honesty in him.

Truly, I wouldn't hang a dog by my will, much more a man who has any honesty in him.

truly i wouldn't hang a dog by my will much more a man who has any honesty in him

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse

and bid her still it.

If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.

If you hear a child cry in the night, you must call to the nurse and bid her still it.

if you hear a child cry in the night you must call to the nurse and bid her still it

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear us?

How if the nurse be asleep and won't hear us?

how if the nurse be asleep and won't hear us?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with

crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never

answer a calf when he bleats.

Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.

Why then, depart in peace, and let the child wake her with crying; for the ewe that won't hear her lamb when it baes, will never answer a calf when he bleats.

why then depart in peace and let the child wake her with crying for the ewe that won't hear her lamb when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

’Tis very true.

’Tis very true.

’Tis very true.

’tis very true.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

This is the end of the charge. You constable, are to present the

Prince’s own person: if you meet the Prince in the night, you may

stay him.

This is the end of the charge. You constable, are to present the Prince’s own person: if you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.

This is the end of the charge. You constable, are to present the Prince’s own person: if you meet the Prince in the night, you may stay him.

this is the end of the charge you constable are to present the prince’s own person: if you meet the prince in the night you may stay him

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

Nay, by’r lady, that I think, a’ cannot.

no, by’r lady, that I think, a’ cannot.

no, by’r lady, that I think, a’ can't.

no, by’r lady, that i think, a’ can't.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Five shillings to one on’t, with any man that knows the

statutes, he may stay him: marry, not without the Prince be willing; for,

indeed, the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a

man against his will.

Five shillings to one on’t, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay him: indeed, not without the Prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.

Five shillings to one on’t, with any man that knows the statutes, he may stay him: indeed, not without the Prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no man, and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.

five shillings to one on’t with any man that knows the statutes he may stay him: indeed not without the prince be willing for

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

By’r lady, I think it be so.

By’r lady, I think it be so.

By’r lady, I think it be so.

by’r lady, i think it be so.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of

weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows’ counsels and your

own, and good night. Come, neighbour.

Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows’ counsels and your own, and good night. Come, neighbour.

Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your fellows’ counsels and your own, and good night. Come, neighbour.

ha ah ha well masters

SECOND WATCH ≋ verse Going along with the procedure

Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon

the church bench till two, and then all to bed.

Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and then all to bed.

Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church bench till two, and then all to bed.

well masters we hear our charge: let us go sit here upon the church bench till two and then all to bed

DOGBERRY ≋ verse Pompous self-importance and confused authority

One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about

Signior Leonato’s door; for the wedding being there tomorrow,

there is a great coil tonight. Adieu; be vigitant, I beseech

you.

One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato’s door; for the wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight. Adieu; be vigitant, I beseech you.

One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you, watch about Signior Leonato’s door; for the wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil tonight. Adieu; be vigitant, I beseech you.

one word more honest neighbours i pray you watch about signior leonato’s door for the wedding being there tomorrow

[Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.]
Enter Borachio and Conrade.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

What, Conrade!

What, Conrade!

What, Conrade!

what, conrade!

[Aside] Peace! stir not.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Conrade, I say!

Conrade, I say!

Conrade, I say!

conrade, i say!

CONRADE Practical servitude

Here, man. I am at thy elbow.

Here, man. I am at your elbow.

Here, man. I'm at your elbow.

here, man. i'm at your elbow.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scab follow.

Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scab follow.

Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there would a scab follow.

mass and my elbow itched i thought there would a scab follow

CONRADE Practical servitude

I will owe thee an answer for that; and now forward with thy tale.

I will owe you an answer for that; and now forward with your tale.

I will owe you an answer for that; and now forward with your tale.

i will owe you an answer for that and now forward with your tale

BORACHIO ≋ verse Cynical pride in his own corruption

Stand thee close then under this penthouse, for it drizzles

rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to thee.

Stand you close then under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to you.

Stand you close then under this penthouse, for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard, utter all to you.

stand you close then under this penthouse for it drizzles rain and i will like a true drunkard utter all to you

[Aside] Some treason, masters; yet stand close.
BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

Therefore know, I have earned of Don John a thousand ducats.

therefore know, i have earned of don john a thousand ducats.

CONRADE Practical servitude

Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?

Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?

Is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?

is it possible that any villainy should be so dear?

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Thou shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should

be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may

make what price they will.

you shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.

you shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich; for when rich villains have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.

you shouldst rather ask if it were possible any villainy should be so rich for when rich villains have need of poor ones poor ones may make what price they will

CONRADE Practical servitude

I wonder at it.

I wonder at it.

I wonder at it.

i wonder at it.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest that the fashion

of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.

That shows you are unconfirmed. you knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.

That shows you are unconfirmed. you knowest that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is nothing to a man.

that shows you are unconfirmed you knowest that the fashion of a doublet or a hat or a cloak is nothing to a man

CONRADE Practical servitude

Yes, it is apparel.

Yes, it is apparel.

Yes, it is apparel.

yes, it is apparel.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

I mean, the fashion.

I mean, the fashion.

I mean, the fashion.

i mean, the fashion.

CONRADE Practical servitude

Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

Yes, the fashion is the fashion.

yes, the fashion is the fashion.

BORACHIO ≋ verse Cynical pride in his own corruption

Tush! I may as well say the fool’s the fool. But seest

thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?

Tush! I may as well say the fool’s the fool. But seest you not what a deformed thief this fashion is?

Tush! I may as well say the fool’s the fool. But seest you not what a deformed thief this fashion is?

tush i may as well say the fool’s the fool but seest you not what a deformed thief this fashion is

[Aside] I know that Deformed; a’ has been a vile thief
WATCH Dutiful procedure and protocol

this seven years; a’ goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember

his name.

this seven years; a’ goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name.

this seven years; a’ goes up and down like a gentleman: I remember his name.

this seven years a’ goes up and down like a gentleman: i remember his name

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Didst thou not hear somebody?

did you not hear somebody?

did you not hear somebody?

did you not hear somebody?

CONRADE Practical servitude

No: ’twas the vane on the house.

No: ’twas the vane on the house.

No: ’twas the vane on the house.

no: ’twas the vane on the house.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is?

how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and

five-and-thirty? sometime fashioning them like Pharaoh’s soldiers in

the reechy painting; sometime like god Bel’s priests in the old

church window; sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched

worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?

Seest you not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty? sometime fashioning them like Pharaoh’s soldiers in the reechy painting; sometime like god Bel’s priests in the old church window; sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?

Seest you not, I say, what a deformed thief this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty? sometime fashioning them like Pharaoh’s soldiers in the reechy painting; sometime like god Bel’s priests in the old church window; sometime like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?

seest you not i say what a deformed thief this fashion is how giddily he turns about all the hot bloods between fourteen and five-and-thirty sometime fashioning them like pharaoh’s soldiers in the reechy painting

CONRADE Practical servitude

All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel

than the man. But art not thou thyself giddy with the fashion too, that

thou hast shifted out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?

All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. But are not you thyself giddy with the fashion too, that you hast shifted out of your tale into telling me of the fashion?

All this I see, and I see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man. But aren't you thyself giddy with the fashion too, that you hast shifted out of your tale into telling me of the fashion?

all this i see and i see that the fashion wears out more apparel than the man but aren't you thyself giddy with the fashion too that you hast shifted out of your tale into telling me of the fashion

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Not so neither; but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret,

the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans me out

at her mistress’ chamber window, bids me a thousand times good

night,—I tell this tale vilely:—I should first tell thee how the Prince,

Claudio, and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don

John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.

Not so neither; but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress’ chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night,—I tell this tale vilely:—I should first tell you how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.

Not so neither; but know, that I have tonight wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero’s gentlewoman, by the name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress’ chamber window, bids me a thousand times good night,—I tell this tale vilely:—I should first tell you how the Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my master Don John, saw afar off in the orchard this amiable encounter.

not so neither but know that i have tonight wooed margaret the lady hero’s gentlewoman by the name of hero: she leans me out at her mistress’ chamber window

Why it matters This is the scene's pivot: Borachio describes the crime in the open air, drunk on his own success, not knowing the Watch is listening. The confession that will save Hero is being spoken into the night right now.
CONRADE Practical servitude

And thought they Margaret was Hero?

And thought they Margaret was Hero?

And thought they Margaret was Hero?

and thought they margaret was hero?

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my

master, knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first

possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but

chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had

made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was

appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole

congregation, shame her with what he saw o’er night, and send her

home again without a husband.

Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master, knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw o’er night, and send her home again without a husband.

Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio; but the devil my master, knew she was Margaret; and partly by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villainy, which did confirm any slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there, before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw o’er night, and send her home again without a husband.

two of them did the prince and claudio but the devil my master knew she was margaret and partly by his oaths

🎭 Dramatic irony Borachio describes the plan to shame Hero in the church — and the Watch overhears every word. The audience knows both the disaster coming and the evidence that could stop it. The question is whether anyone competent will act on it in time.
FIRST WATCH Following orders precisely

We charge you in the Prince’s name, stand!

We charge you in the Prince’s name, stand!

We charge you in the Prince’s name, stand!

we charge you in the prince’s name, stand!

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered

the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the

commonwealth.

Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.

Call up the right Master Constable. We have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth.

call up the right master constable we have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery that ever was known in the commonwealth

FIRST WATCH Following orders precisely

And one Deformed is one of them: I know him, a’ wears a lock.

And one Deformed is one of them: I know him, a’ wears a lock.

And one Deformed is one of them: I know him, a’ wears a lock.

and one deformed is one of them: i know him a’ wears a lock

CONRADE Practical servitude

Masters, masters!

Masters, masters!

Masters, masters!

masters, masters!

SECOND WATCH Going along with the procedure

You’ll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.

You’ll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.

You’ll be made bring Deformed forth, I warrant you.

you’ll be made bring deformed forth, i warrant you.

CONRADE Practical servitude

Masters,—

Masters,—

Masters,—

masters,—

FIRST WATCH Following orders precisely

Never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.

Never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.

Never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.

never speak: we charge you let us obey you to go with us.

BORACHIO Cynical pride in his own corruption

We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these

men’s bills.

We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these men’s bills.

We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being taken up of these men’s bills.

we are like to prove a goodly commodity being taken up of these men’s bills

CONRADE Practical servitude

A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we’ll obey you.

A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we’ll obey you.

A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come, we’ll obey you.

a commodity in question i warrant you come we’ll obey you

[Exeunt.]
Scene IV. A Room in Leonato’s House.
Enter Hero, Margaret and Ursula.
HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise.

Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise.

Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice, and desire her to rise.

good ursula wake my cousin beatrice and desire her to rise

URSULA Wise observation of the bigger picture

I will, lady.

I will, lady.

I will, lady.

i will, lady.

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

And bid her come hither.

And bid her come here.

And bid her come here.

and bid her come here.

URSULA Wise observation of the bigger picture

Well.

Well.

Well.

well.

[Exit.]
MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Troth, I think your other rebato were better.

Troth, I think your other rebato were better.

Troth, I think your other rebato were better.

troth, i think your other rebato were better.

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

No, pray thee, good Meg, I’ll wear this.

No, pray you, good Meg, I’ll wear this.

No, pray you, good Meg, I’ll wear this.

no, pray you, good meg, i’ll wear this.

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

By my troth’s not so good; and I warrant your cousin will say so.

By my troth’s not so good; and I warrant your cousin will say so.

By my troth’s not so good; and I warrant your cousin will say so.

by my troth’s not so good and i warrant your cousin will say so

HERO ≋ verse Calculated silence and strategic word choice

My cousin’s a fool, and thou art another: I’ll

wear none but this.

My cousin’s a fool, and you are another: I’ll wear none but this.

My cousin’s a fool, and you are another: I’ll wear none but this.

my cousin’s a fool and you are another: i’ll wear none but this

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought

browner; and your gown’s a most rare fashion, i’ faith. I saw the

Duchess of Milan’s gown that they praise so.

I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown’s a most rare fashion, i’ faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan’s gown that they praise so.

I like the new tire within excellently, if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown’s a most rare fashion, i’ faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan’s gown that they praise so.

i like the new tire within excellently if the hair were a thought browner and your gown’s a most rare fashion i’ faith i saw the duchess of milan’s gown that they praise so

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

O! that exceeds, they say.

O! that exceeds, they say.

O! that exceeds, they say.

o! that exceeds, they say.

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

By my troth ’s but a night-gown in respect of yours: cloth o’ gold, and

cuts, and laced with silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side

sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a bluish tinsel; but for a

fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on’t.

By my troth ’s but a night-gown in respect of yours: cloth o’ gold, and cuts, and laced with silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a bluish tinsel; but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on’t.

By my troth ’s but a night-gown in respect of yours: cloth o’ gold, and cuts, and laced with silver, set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts round, underborne with a bluish tinsel; but for a fine, quaint, graceful, and excellent fashion, yours is worth ten on’t.

by my troth ’s but a night-gown in respect of yours: cloth o’ gold and cuts and laced with silver set with pearls down sleeves

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is exceeding heavy.

God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is exceeding heavy.

God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is exceeding heavy.

god give me joy to wear it! for my heart is exceeding heavy.

Why it matters Hero's one honest admission of dread on her wedding morning — before she knows anything is wrong. The instinct is correct even if she doesn't know why.
🎭 Dramatic irony Hero says 'my heart is very heavy' on her wedding morning. She has no conscious reason for the dread. The audience does: Don John has already poisoned Claudio's mind the previous night.
MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

’Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

’Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

’Twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

’twill be heavier soon by the weight of a man.

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

Fie upon thee! art not ashamed?

Fie upon you! are not ashamed?

Fie upon you! aren't ashamed?

fie upon you! aren't ashamed?

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a

beggar? Is not your lord honourable without marriage? I think you would

have me say, saving your reverence, ‘a husband:’ an bad thinking do not

wrest true speaking, I’ll offend nobody. Is there any harm in ‘the

heavier for a husband’? None, I think, and it be the right husband and

the right wife; otherwise ’tis light, and not heavy: ask my Lady

Beatrice else; here she comes.

Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord honourable without marriage? I think you would have me say, saving your reverence, ‘a husband:’ an bad thinking do not wrest true speaking, I’ll offend nobody. Is there any harm in ‘the heavier for a husband’? None, I think, and it be the right husband and the right wife; otherwise ’tis light, and not heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.

Of what, lady? of speaking honourably? isn't marriage honourable in a beggar? isn't your lord honourable without marriage? I think you would have me say, saving your reverence, ‘a husband:’ an bad thinking don't wrest true speaking, I’ll offend nobody. Is there any harm in ‘the heavier for a husband’? None, I think, and it be the right husband and the right wife; otherwise ’tis light, and not heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.

of what lady of speaking honourably isn't marriage honourable in a beggar isn't your lord honourable without marriage

Enter Beatrice.
HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

Good morrow, coz.

Good morrow, coz.

Good morrow, coz.

good morrow, coz.

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

Good morrow, sweet Hero.

Good morrow, sweet Hero.

Good morrow, sweet Hero.

good morrow, sweet hero.

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

Why, how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

Why, how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

Why, how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

why, how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

I am out of all other tune, methinks.

I am out of all other tune, I think.

I'm out of all other tune, I think.

i'm out of all other tune, i think.

MARGARET ≋ verse Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Clap’s into ‘Light o’ love’; that goes

without a burden: do you sing it, and I’ll dance it.

Clap’s into ‘Light o’ love’; that goes without a burden: do you sing it, and I’ll dance it.

Clap’s into ‘Light o’ love’; that goes without a burden: do you sing it, and I’ll dance it.

clap’s into ‘light o’ love’ that goes without a burden: do you sing it and i’ll dance it

BEATRICE ≋ verse Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

Ye, light o’ love with your heels! then, if your husband

have stables enough, you’ll see he shall lack no barnes.

Ye, light o’ love with your heels! then, if your husband have stables enough, you’ll see he shall lack no barnes.

Ye, light o’ love with your heels! then, if your husband have stables enough, you’ll see he shall lack no barnes.

ye light o’ love with your heels then if your husband have stables enough you’ll see he shall lack no barnes

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

O illegitimate construction! I scorn that with my heels.

o illegitimate construction! i scorn that with my heels.

BEATRICE ≋ verse Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

’Tis almost five o’clock, cousin; ’tis time

you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill. Heigh-ho!

’Tis almost five o’clock, cousin; ’tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill. Heigh-ho!

’Tis almost five o’clock, cousin; ’tis time you were ready. By my troth, I'm exceeding ill. Heigh-ho!

’tis almost five o’clock cousin ’tis time you were ready by my troth i'm exceeding ill

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

for a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

For the letter that begins them all, H.

For the letter that begins them all, H.

For the letter that begins them all, H.

for the letter that begins them all, h.

"For the letter that begins them all, H" H was also the abbreviation for 'aitch' in Elizabethan wordplay — and the letter that began 'heart.' Beatrice is admitting she's heartsick without saying 'heart' or 'him.'
MARGARET ≋ verse Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Well, and you be not turned Turk, there’s no more

sailing by the star.

Well, and you be not turned Turk, there’s no more sailing by the star.

Well, and you be not turned Turk, there’s no more sailing by the star.

well and you be not turned turk there’s no more sailing by the star

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

What means the fool, trow?

What means the fool, trow?

What means the fool, trow?

what means the fool, trow?

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Nothing I; but God send everyone their heart’s desire!

Nothing I; but God send everyone their heart’s desire!

Nothing I; but God send everyone their heart’s desire!

nothing i; but god send everyone their heart’s desire!

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

These gloves the Count sent me; they are an excellent perfume.

These gloves the Count sent me; they are an excellent perfume.

These gloves the Count sent me; they are an excellent perfume.

these gloves the count sent me they are an excellent perfume

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell.

I am stuffed, cousin, I cannot smell.

I'm stuffed, cousin, I can't smell.

i'm stuffed, cousin, i can't smell.

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

A maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly catching of cold.

A maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly catching of cold.

A maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly catching of cold.

a maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly catching of cold.

BEATRICE ≋ verse Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

O, God help me! God help me! how long have you professed

apprehension?

O, God help me! God help me! how long have you professed apprehension?

O, God help me! God help me! how long have you professed apprehension?

o god help me god help me how long have you professed apprehension

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Ever since you left it. Doth not my wit become me rarely!

Ever since you left it. does not my wit become me rarely!

Ever since you left it. doesn't my wit become me rarely!

ever since you left it. doesn't my wit become me rarely!

BEATRICE ≋ verse Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap. By

my troth, I am sick.

It is not seen enough, you should wear it in your cap. By my troth, I am sick.

It isn't seen enough, you should wear it in your cap. By my troth, I'm sick.

it isn't seen enough you should wear it in your cap by my troth i'm sick

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Get you some of this distilled Carduus benedictus, and lay it to

your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.

Get you some of this distilled Carduus benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.

Get you some of this distilled Carduus benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm.

get you some of this distilled carduus benedictus and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing for a qualm

"Carduus Benedictus" Blessed Thistle — a real herb used as a tonic. But 'Benedictus' sounds exactly like 'Benedick.' Margaret is prescribing Benedick for Beatrice's lovesick heart, and she knows exactly what she's doing.
HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

There thou prick’st her with a thistle.

There you prick’st her with a thistle.

There you prick’st her with a thistle.

there you prick’st her with a thistle.

BEATRICE ≋ verse Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

Benedictus! why benedictus? you have some moral in this

benedictus.

Benedictus! why benedictus? you have some moral in this benedictus.

Benedictus! why benedictus? you have some moral in this benedictus.

benedictus why benedictus you have some moral in this benedictus

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain

holy thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: nay,

by’r Lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not

to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my

heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love,

or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he

become a man: he swore he would never marry; and yet now, in despite of

his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be

converted, I know not; but methinks you look with your eyes as other women

do.

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: no, by’r Lady, I am not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I cannot think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never indeed; and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted, I know not; but I think you look with your eyes as other women do.

Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral meaning; I meant, plain holy thistle. You may think, perchance, that I think you are in love: no, by’r Lady, I'm not such a fool to think what I list; nor I list not to think what I can; nor, indeed, I can't think, if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you are in love, or that you will be in love, or that you can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and now is he become a man: he swore he would never indeed; and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats his meat without grudging: and how you may be converted, I know not; but I think you look with your eyes as other women do.

moral no by my troth i have no moral meaning i meant

BEATRICE Sharp wit hiding something real underneath

What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?

What pace is this that your tongue keeps?

What pace is this that your tongue keeps?

what pace is this that your tongue keeps?

MARGARET Loyal wit and affectionate mockery

Not a false gallop.

Not a false gallop.

Not a false gallop.

not a false gallop.

Re-enter Ursula.
URSULA Wise observation of the bigger picture

Madam, withdraw: the Prince, the Count, Signior Benedick, Don

John, and all the gallants of the town are come to fetch you to church.

Madam, withdraw: the Prince, the Count, Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the town are come to fetch you to church.

Madam, withdraw: the Prince, the Count, Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of the town are come to fetch you to church.

madam withdraw: the prince the count signior benedick don john

HERO Calculated silence and strategic word choice

Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.

Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.

Help to dress me, good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.

help to dress me, good coz, good meg, good ursula.

[Exeunt.]
Scene V. Another Room in Leonato’s House.
Enter Leonato and Dogberry
and Verges.
LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

What would you with me, honest neighbour?

What would you with me, honest neighbour?

What would you with me, honest neighbour?

what would you with me, honest neighbour?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you, that decerns

you nearly.

indeed, sir, I would have some confidence with you, that decerns you nearly.

indeed, sir, I would have some confidence with you, that decerns you nearly.

indeed sir i would have some confidence with you that decerns you nearly

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

brief, i pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Marry, this it is, sir.

indeed, this it is, sir.

indeed, this it is, sir.

indeed, this it is, sir.

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

Yes, in truth it is, sir.

Yes, in truth it is, sir.

Yes, in truth it is, sir.

yes, in truth it is, sir.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

What is it, my good friends?

What is it, my good friends?

What is it, my good friends?

what is it, my good friends?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man,

sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were;

but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits aren't so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

goodman verges sir speaks a little off the matter: an old man sir and his wits aren't so blunt as

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old

man and no honester than I.

Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man and no honester than I.

Yes, I thank God, I'm as honest as any man living, that is an old man and no honester than I.

yes i thank god i'm as honest as any man living that is an old man and no honester than i

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.

Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.

Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.

comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour verges.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Neighbours, you are tedious.

Neighbours, you are tedious.

Neighbours, you are tedious.

neighbours, you are tedious.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s

officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I

could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.

it pleases your worship to say so but we are the poor duke’s officers but truly for mine own part if i were as tedious as a king

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

All thy tediousness on me! ah?

All your tediousness on me! ah?

All your tediousness on me! ah?

all your tediousness on me! ah?

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Yea, and ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis;

for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the

city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.

Yea, and ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.

Yea, and ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I'm glad to hear it.

yea and ’twere a thousand pound more than ’tis for i hear as good exclamation on your worship as of any man in the city and though i be but a poor man

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

And so am I.

And so am I.

And so am I.

and so am i.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

I would fain know what you have to say.

I would fain know what you have to say.

I would fain know what you have to say.

i would fain know what you have to say.

VERGES ≋ verse Agreeable deference and loyalty

Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship’s

presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in

Messina.

indeed, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.

indeed, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.

indeed sir our watch tonight excepting your worship’s presence ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in messina

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

A good old man, sir; he will be talking; as they say, ‘when

the age is in, the wit is out.’ God help us! it is a world to see!

Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man;

and two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’

faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be

worshipped: all men are not alike; alas! good neighbour.

A good old man, sir; he will be talking; as they say, ‘when the age is in, the wit is out.’ God help us! it is a world to see! Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; and two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped: all men are not alike; alas! good neighbour.

A good old man, sir; he will be talking; as they say, ‘when the age is in, the wit is out.’ God help us! it is a world to see! Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; and two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped: all men aren't alike; alas! good neighbour.

a good old man sir he will be talking as they say ‘when the age is in

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Gifts that God gives.

Gifts that God gives.

Gifts that God gives.

gifts that god gives.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

I must leave you.

I must leave you.

I must leave you.

i must leave you.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two

aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before

your worship.

One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.

One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.

one word sir: our watch sir have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons and we would have them this morning examined before your worship

Why it matters This is the moment that could have saved Hero — Dogberry's mangled attempt to communicate the arrest of Borachio. If Leonato had listened instead of dismissing him, the church scene disaster might never have happened.
LEONATO ≋ verse Gracious management of expectations and people

Take their examination yourself, and bring it me: I am now in

great haste, as may appear unto you.

Take their examination yourself, and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as may appear unto you.

Take their examination yourself, and bring it me: I'm now in great haste, as may appear unto you.

take their examination yourself and bring it me: i'm now in great haste as may appear unto you

Why it matters Leonato's dismissal of Dogberry is the play's great near-miss. The information that would have stopped the church scene exists — Borachio is in custody, his confession overheard. But Leonato is too busy getting his daughter married to listen to a bumbling constable.
DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

It shall be suffigance.

It shall be suffigance.

It shall be suffigance.

it shall be suffigance.

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.

Drink some wine before you go: fare you well.

Drink some wine before you go: fare you well.

drink some wine before you go: fare you well.

Enter a Messenger.
MESSENGER Professional, efficient delivery

My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.

My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.

My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.

my lord they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband

LEONATO Gracious management of expectations and people

I’ll wait upon them: I am ready.

I’ll wait upon them: I am ready.

I’ll wait upon them: I'm ready.

i’ll wait upon them: i'm ready.

[Exeunt Leonato and Messenger.]
DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal; bid him bring

his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.

Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.

Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.

go good partner go get you to francis seacoal bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men

VERGES Agreeable deference and loyalty

And we must do it wisely.

And we must do it wisely.

And we must do it wisely.

and we must do it wisely.

DOGBERRY Pompous self-importance and confused authority

We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall

drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down

our excommunication, and meet me at the gaol.

We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication, and meet me at the gaol.

We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication, and meet me at the gaol.

we will spare for no wit i warrant you here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication and meet me at the gaol

[Exeunt.]

The Reckoning

Three entirely different tones occupy this scene: the comic business of Benedick's visible transformation, the cold damage of Don John's accusation landing on Claudio and Don Pedro, and the bumbling miracle of the Watch accidentally catching the villain. The scene contains the play's hinge — the moment the comedy tips toward potential tragedy — and its salvation, all within a few hundred lines. By the end, the audience knows both that disaster is coming and that the evidence to prevent it already exists.

If this happened today…

A wedding week with three things happening simultaneously: the groom's friends roasting him at the rehearsal dinner for clearly being in love when he swore he never would be; the best man getting pulled aside by a jealous relative who says the bride was with someone else last night; and two security guards overhearing the person who staged the whole thing bragging about it in the parking lot. The disaster and the rescue are running in parallel, separated by floors.

Continue to 4.1 →