Boy!
Boy!
Boy!
boy!
Signior?
Signior?
Signior?
signior?
In my chamber window lies a book; bring it hither to me in the orchard.
There's a book lying in my bedroom window. Bring it to me in the orchard.
There's a book on my windowsill. Can you grab it and bring it out to the garden?
book on my windowsill bring it to the orchard
I am here already, sir.
I'm already here, sir.
I'm already here.
already here
I know that; but I would have thee hence, and here again.
I know that, but I want you to leave and then come back.
Yeah I know, but I need you to go away and come back.
i know. go away and come back
I do much wonder that one man, seeing how much another man is a fool when
he dedicates his behaviours to love, will, after he hath laughed at such
shallow follies in others, become the argument of his own scorn by falling
in love: and such a man is Claudio. I have known, when there was no music
with him but the drum and the fife; and now had he rather hear the tabor
and the pipe: I have known when he would have walked ten mile afoot to see
a good armour; and now will he lie ten nights awake, carving the fashion
of a new doublet. He was wont to speak plain and to the purpose, like an
honest man and a soldier; and now is he turned orthography; his words are
a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes. May I be so
converted, and see with these eyes? I cannot tell; I think not: I will not
be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster; but I’ll take my
oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such
a fool. One woman is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am well;
another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all graces be in one woman, one
woman shall not come in my grace. Rich she shall be, that’s certain;
wise, or I’ll none; virtuous, or I’ll never cheapen her; fair,
or I’ll never look on her; mild, or come not near me; noble, or not
I for an angel; of good discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair
shall be of what colour it please God. Ha! the Prince and Monsieur Love! I
will hide me in the arbour.
I wonder why a man who laughs at other men becoming fools for love will then fall in love himself and become exactly that fool. Take Claudio - he used to be a soldier, but now he's obsessed with love and fashion. Will I be like that? I don't think so. Love might turn me into an oyster, but I won't become such a fool. I have impossible standards: a woman must be beautiful, wise, virtuous, wealthy, noble, good company, and an excellent musician - basically perfect. Until one woman has all these qualities, no single woman will win my favor. She must be rich, wise, virtuous, fair to look at, gentle-mannered, of noble birth, a great conversationalist and musician, and her hair can be any color God chooses. Here come the Prince and his courtship schemes! I need to hide in the arbor.
It's wild how a guy can watch his buddy Claudio turn into an idiot for love, laugh at him, and then immediately catch feelings himself and become just as ridiculous. Claudio used to be a real soldier, but now he's obsessed with poetry and picking out fancy clothes. Am I going to end up like that? No way. I'd literally have to turn into an oyster. Besides, my standards are impossible - she has to be beautiful, smart, rich, virtuous, classy, great company, an incredible singer. Basically perfect. Good luck finding that. Oh man, here comes the Prince with his matchmaking plans - I'm hiding in the bushes.
how does watching claudio become a love idiot make guys turn into love idiots themselves he used to be a soldier now he's obsessed w poetry im not gonna be that guy my standards are way too high prince is coming gotta hide
and Musicians.
and Musicians enter.
and the Musicians come in.
musicians arriving
Come, shall we hear this music?
Come on, should we listen to this music?
Come on, let's listen to some music.
should we listen to music?
Yea, my good lord. How still the evening is,
As hush’d on purpose to grace harmony!
Yes, my good lord. How calm the evening is, as if it were quieted on purpose to showcase perfect harmony!
Yeah, my lord. The evening's so still and peaceful—it's like nature got quiet just to let the music shine.
yes. the evening's so calm like it was made for this music
See you where Benedick hath hid himself?
Do you see where Benedick has hidden himself?
Do you see where Benedick's hiding?
where did benedick hide
O! very well, my lord: the music ended,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a penny-worth.
Oh, perfectly, my lord! Once the music ends, we'll trick the clever young fox with something worthless—he deserves it.
Oh yeah, my lord. When the music's done, we'll set a trap for this sneaky guy and catch him.
yes when music ends we'll trap him
Come, Balthasar, we’ll hear that song again.
Come on, Balthasar, let's hear that song again.
Come on Balthasar, play that song one more time.
balthasar play that song again
O! good my lord, tax not so bad a voice
To slander music any more than once.
Oh, my good lord, don't ask such a bad voice to damage music by singing it more than once.
Oh, my lord, please don't make me ruin the music by singing it again. Once was bad enough.
my lord don't make me sing again once was enough
It is the witness still of excellency,
To put a strange face on his own perfection.
I pray thee, sing, and let me woo no more.
It's always a sign of excellence when someone hides his own talent behind humility. I'm asking you, sing, and stop trying to convince me.
True excellence always looks humble. Just sing—stop arguing with me.
sing already stop trying to get out of it
Because you talk of wooing, I will sing;
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy; yet he wooes;
Yet will he swear he loves.
Since you mention wooing, I'll sing. Because many a lover starts his romance with someone he doesn't think is worthy, and yet he still tries. Yet he'll swear he loves her.
Since you're talking about love, I'll sing. Honestly, tons of guys pursue women they think they don't deserve, then swear they're in love.
sure i'll sing guys always fall for girls they think are out of their league
Nay, pray thee come;
Or if thou wilt hold longer argument,
Do it in notes.
No, please come. Or if you want to keep arguing, do it in music.
No, come on. If you want to keep this up, just sing it.
no just come or sing your arguments
Note this before my notes;
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting.
Listen to this before you hear my notes: there's not a single note I sing that's worth listening to.
Before I sing, hear this: nothing I do is worth paying attention to.
fair warning none of this is good
Why these are very crotchets that he speaks;
Notes, notes, forsooth, and nothing!
Why, these are just musical quirks he's speaking—notes, notes, absolutely, and nothing!
This guy's just messing with us—notes, notes, yeah sure, and that's it!
he's just being difficult notes notes yeah right nothing
The 'gulling scene' — where a character is tricked into believing something through staged performance — is one of Shakespeare's favorite theatrical tricks. What makes this one so brilliant is that it works on the audience at multiple levels simultaneously. We watch three men perform a trick on Benedick. We watch Benedick be tricked. And we find ourselves half-hoping he believes it — not because the trick is good, but because the conclusion it leads him to is correct. Beatrice does love him. He does love her. The trick is false; the result is true. This is the ethical complexity Shakespeare loves to embed in comedy: the end is good, the means are manipulation, and we are complicit.
Now, divine air! now is his soul ravished! Is it not strange
that sheep’s guts should hale souls out of men’s bodies? Well,
a horn for my money, when all’s done.
BALTHASAR [sings.]
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever;
One foot in sea, and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.
Sing no more ditties, sing no mo
Of dumps so dull and heavy;
The fraud of men was ever so,
Since summer first was leavy.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey nonny, nonny.
Now, beautiful music! Now his soul is completely captivated! Isn't it strange that animal gut strings can pull souls right out of people's bodies? Well, give me a horn instead, that's my preference. BALTHASAR [sings.] Stop sighing, ladies, stop sighing, Men have always been liars; One foot at sea, one foot on shore, Never faithful to anything. So stop sighing and let them go, And be happy and cheerful, Turning all your sadness Into Hey nonny, nonny. Sing no more sad songs, sing no more Of gloomy, heavy things; Men have always been dishonest, As long as summer has had leaves. So stop sighing and let them go, And be happy and cheerful, Turning all your sadness Into Hey nonny, nonny.
Wow, what an amazing song! He's completely mesmerized! Isn't it wild that strings made from animal guts can literally yank your soul out of your body? Honestly, I'd much rather listen to a horn. BALTHASAR [sings.] Ladies, quit sighing, just quit sighing, Guys have always been cheaters; They've got one foot out the door while keeping one foot in, They never stick to anything. So stop your sighing and just let them go, Be upbeat and happy, Turn all your sadness Into Hey nonny, nonny. No more sad songs, seriously, No more of that heavy, gloomy stuff; Guys have been frauds forever, Since basically the start of time. So stop your sighing and just let them go, Be upbeat and happy, Turn all your sadness Into Hey nonny, nonny.
wow his soul is gone animal strings pulling people's guts out give me a horn — ladies stop sighing men are always liars one foot in one foot out never faithful let them go be happy instead turn sadness into joy hey nonny nonny — no sad songs men fake forever let them go smile hey nonny nonny
By my troth, a good song.
By my word, a good song.
That was actually a pretty good song.
that's a good song
And an ill singer, my lord.
And a bad singer, my lord.
But a pretty bad singer, my lord.
bad singer tho
Ha, no, no, faith; thou singest well enough for a shift.
No, no, honestly, you sing well enough for what we need right now.
No, no, you actually sing fine for what we needed.
no you sing good enough
[Aside] And he had been a dog that should have howled
thus, they would have hanged him; and I pray God his bad voice bode no
mischief. I had as lief have heard the night-raven, come what plague could
have come after it.
DON PEDRO. Yea, marry; dost thou hear, Balthasar? I pray thee, get us
some excellent music, for tomorrow night we would have it at the
Lady Hero’s chamber window.
If he were a dog that howled like that, they would have hanged him. I hope his terrible voice doesn't bring bad luck. I would have preferred to hear the night raven, no matter what disaster followed. Don Pedro: Yes, listen here, Balthasar. I beg you, get us excellent music, for tomorrow night we want it at Lady Hero's chamber window.
If that were a dog howling, they'd have put it down. God help us if his awful voice brings any curse. I'd rather listen to any night bird, plague and all. Don Pedro: Hey, are you listening, Balthasar? Please, find us some really good music—we want to play it outside Lady Hero's window tomorrow night.
if he was a dog they'd kill him i'd rather hear anything else get good music for tomorrow lady hero's window
The best I can, my lord.
I'll arrange the finest musicians I can find, my lord.
I'll get you the best musicians I can find.
best musicians i got
Do so: farewell.
Do so: farewell.
Do so: farewell.
do so: farewell.
Come hither, Leonato: what was it you told me of today, that your niece
Beatrice was in love with Signior Benedick?
Come here, Leonato: what did you tell me earlier - that your niece Beatrice is in love with Signior Benedick?
Hey Leonato, come over here - you were telling me earlier that your niece Beatrice has fallen for Benedick, right?
yo leonato your niece beatrice loves benedick?
O! ay:—[Aside to Don Pedro] Stalk on, stalk on;
the fowl sits. I did never think that lady would have loved any man.
Oh yes! (Aside to Don Pedro) Keep going, keep going—the bird is sitting. I never thought this lady would fall in love with anyone.
Oh yeah! (Quietly to Don Pedro) Keep it up, keep it up—we got her. I honestly never thought she'd be into any guy.
yes keep going she's falling for it didn't think she'd like anyone
No, nor I neither; but most wonderful that she should so
dote on Signior Benedick, whom she hath in all outward behaviours
seemed ever to abhor.
No, neither did I. But the most amazing thing is that she should be so infatuated with Signior Benedick, whom she has always seemed to hate in every outward way.
Yeah, me neither. But the wild thing is she's obsessed with Benedick, and she's always acted like she can't stand him.
same but she loves benedick? she always acted like she hated him
[Aside] Is’t possible? Sits the wind in that corner?
Is it possible? Are things turning in that direction?
Is that actually happening? Is the wind blowing that way?
wait that's really happening???
By my troth, my lord, I cannot tell what to think of it but that
she loves him with an enraged affection: it is past the infinite of
thought.
By my word, my lord, I can't figure out what to think, except that she loves him with an absolutely intense passion. It's beyond anything I can even imagine.
Honestly, my lord, I can't wrap my head around it. She loves him with this crazy, overwhelming passion.
can't explain it she loves him insanely it's beyond anything
Maybe she doth but counterfeit.
Maybe she's just pretending.
Maybe she's just faking it.
maybe she's faking
Faith, like enough.
Indeed, that's quite likely.
Yeah, probably.
yeah prob
O God! counterfeit! There was never counterfeit of passion came
so near the life of passion as she discovers it.
God, counterfeit? There was never a false display of love that came so close to the real thing as what she shows.
Fake? No way. There's no fake love that looks this real.
no that's real it looks too genuine
Why, what effects of passion shows she?
Why, what signs of love does she show?
What signs? Like what's she doing?
what signs though
[Aside] Bait the hook well: this fish will bite.
Set the trap well: this person will fall for it.
Bait the hook right: this fish will bite.
he's gonna fall for it
What effects, my lord? She will sit you; [To Claudio] You
heard my daughter tell you how.
What signs, my lord? She'll sit down for you. (To Claudio) You heard my daughter explain it.
What does she do, my lord? She sits there. (To Claudio) Your daughter told you.
she sits down you heard about it
She did, indeed.
She did, indeed.
She did, indeed.
she did, indeed.
How, how, I pray you? You amaze me: I would have thought her
spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.
How, how, I'm asking you? You're astonishing me. I would have thought her spirit was invincible against every kind of romantic attack.
How's that? You're surprising me. I thought she was immune to love.
how? you're shocking me thought she couldn't fall in love
I would have sworn it had, my lord; especially against Benedick.
I would have bet my life it was, my lord, and against Benedick most of all.
I'd have sworn the same thing, my lord. Especially when it came to Benedick. He's the last guy I'd have expected.
i would've sworn it too esp against benedick he's the last person i'd expect
'Men were deceivers ever; / One foot in sea, and one on shore, / To one thing constant never.' This song, performed in the middle of the play's most celebrated comic scene, is not a joke. It is a statement of fact about the world this play inhabits. Claudio has just nearly been deceived by Don John into doubting Hero. Borachio is at this moment planning to make that deception real. Don John was lying at the masked ball. Benedick was 'playing Benedick' while denying it. The song is right: men are deceivers. It lives inside this cheerful scene like a warning nobody heeds. When Hero is publicly humiliated in Act 4, the song will feel retrospective — not foreshadowing but prophecy fulfilled.
[Aside] I should think this a gull, but that the
white-bearded fellow speaks it: knavery cannot, sure, hide itself in such
reverence.
I would think this a trick, but the gray-bearded man says it: lies cannot hide behind such respectability.
I'd call this a scam, except this dignified old guy is saying it: dishonesty can't hide behind that kind of respect.
seems real bc he's so respectable
[Aside] He hath ta’en the infection: hold it
up.
He has caught the infection: keep it going.
He's got it bad: help him along.
he's in love now lol
Hath she made her affection known to Benedick?
Has she revealed her love to Benedick?
Has she told Benedick how she feels?
did she tell him
No; and swears she never will: that’s her torment.
No, and she's made a vow never to reveal it. That's what's tormenting her.
No, and she says she never will. That's what's killing her.
no says she never will that's the problem
’Tis true, indeed; so your daughter says: ‘Shall I,’
says she, ‘that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him
that I love him?’
That's true, actually. Your daughter told us: 'Should I,' she says, 'I who have mocked him so many times, write to tell him I love him?'
Yeah, that's real. Your daughter said she asked herself: 'Should I write and tell him I love him when I've always been so mean to him?'
she asked herself should i tell him after all the times i mocked him
This says she now when she is beginning to write to him; for she’ll
be up twenty times a night, and there will she sit in her smock till she
have writ a sheet of paper: my daughter tells us all.
This is what she says now as she's starting to write. She'll get up twenty times a night and sit in her nightgown until she's written a full page. My daughter tells us everything.
Yeah, that's what she's saying as she tries to write. She gets up like twenty times a night, sits there in her slip writing page after page. My daughter spills everything.
gets up 20 times a night sits in her nightgown writing my daughter told us everything
Now you talk of a sheet of paper, I remember a pretty jest your
daughter told us of.
Since you mention a piece of paper, I remember a funny story your daughter told us.
Speaking of paper, I just remembered a funny story your daughter told us.
speaking of that i remember a funny story
O! when she had writ it, and was reading it over, she found
Benedick and Beatrice between the sheet?
Oh! When she had written it and was reading it over, she found Benedick and Beatrice written together between the pages?
Oh! When she finished writing it and was reading it back, she found Benedick and Beatrice written together?
when she read it back she found benedick and beatrice together
That.
That.
That.
that.
O! she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence; railed at
herself, that she should be so immodest to write to one that she knew
would flout her: ‘I measure him,’ says she, ‘by my own
spirit; for I should flout him, if he writ to me; yea, though I love him,
I should.’
Oh! She tore the letter into a thousand pieces, cursed at herself for being so forward as to write to someone she knew would make fun of her. 'I judge him by myself,' she says. 'Because I would mock him if he wrote to me—yes, even though I love him, I would.'
Oh! She ripped the whole letter to shreds, cursed herself for being so bold. 'I'm judging him by how I'd be,' she said. 'I'd make fun of him if he wrote to me—yeah, even if I loved him, I would.'
ripped letter to shreds cursed herself for writing said she'd mock him back even if she loved him
Then down upon her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, beats her heart,
tears her hair, prays, curses; ‘O sweet Benedick! God give me
patience!’
Then down on her knees she falls, weeps, sobs, strikes her chest, tears her hair, prays, curses. 'Oh sweet Benedick! Please, God, give me patience!'
Then she literally falls to her knees, crying, sobbing, hitting her chest, pulling her hair, praying, swearing. 'Oh Benedick! God, give me patience!'
falls on knees weeping sobbing pulling her hair begging for patience
She doth indeed; my daughter says so; and the ecstasy hath so
much overborne her, that my daughter is sometimes afeard she will do a
desperate outrage to herself. It is very true.
She really does. My daughter says so. And the emotional chaos has so overwhelmed her that my daughter is sometimes afraid she'll do something desperate and hurt herself. It's completely true.
She really does. My daughter's told me. The emotional chaos is eating her alive—my daughter's actually scared she might do something reckless.
she really does it's destroying her emotionally daughter's scared she'll hurt herself
It were good that Benedick knew of it by some other, if she
will not discover it.
It would be good if Benedick found out about it from someone else, if she won't tell him herself.
Someone should probably tell Benedick if she's not going to.
somebody should tell him
To what end? he would make but a sport of it and torment the poor
lady worse.
To what end? He'd just make a game of it and torture the poor lady even more.
Why would we? He'd just laugh and make it worse for her.
no way he'd just mock her more
And he should, it were an alms to hang him. She’s an
excellent sweet lady, and, out of all suspicion, she is virtuous.
If he did, it would be a charitable act to hang him. She's an excellent, sweet lady, and without question, she's virtuous.
If he did that, it'd be doing the world a favor to execute him. She's genuinely wonderful and completely decent.
he deserves to hang she's amazing and pure
And she is exceeding wise.
And she's extremely intelligent.
And she's super smart too.
and she's brilliant
In everything but in loving Benedick.
Except when it comes to loving Benedick.
But not when she's loving him—that's where her brain checks out.
except about benedick
O! my lord, wisdom and blood combating in so tender a body,
we have ten proofs to one that blood hath the victory. I am sorry for
her, as I have just cause, being her uncle and her guardian.
Oh, my lord, wisdom and desire fighting in such a young body—we have ten proofs to one that desire is winning. I'm sorry for her, as I have every right to be, being her uncle and her guardian.
Oh, my lord, reason and passion are battling in such a young girl—and passion's clearly winning ten to one. I feel for her. I'm her uncle and her guardian.
wisdom vs desire passion's winning i'm sorry for her i'm her uncle
I would she had bestowed this dotage on me; I would have daffed
all other respects and made her half myself. I pray you, tell Benedick of
it, and hear what he will say.
I wish she'd given this obsessive love to me. I would have abandoned everything else and made her my equal partner. I'm asking you, tell Benedick about it and tell me what he says.
I wish she was in love with me instead. I'd drop everything and make her my partner. Please, tell Benedick and let me know what he says.
wish she loved me would marry her tell benedick please
Were it good, think you?
Would it be good, do you think?
Is that a good idea, though?
is that smart
Hero thinks surely she will die; for she says she will die if he
love her not, and she will die ere she make her love known, and she will
die if he woo her, rather than she will bate one breath of her accustomed
crossness.
Hero is sure she'll die. She says she'll die if he doesn't love her, and she'll die before she reveals her love, and she'll die if he tries to court her, rather than abandon even one bit of her usual hostile behavior.
Hero thinks she'll literally die. She says she'll die if he doesn't love her back, and she'll die before telling him, and if he actually tries to court her she'll die rather than drop her mean act for even a second.
she'll die if he doesn't love her die before telling him die before being nice to him
She doth well: if she should make tender of her love, ’tis
very possible he’ll scorn it; for the man,—as you know all,—hath a
contemptible spirit.
She's right to do so. If she were to offer her love, it's very possible he'd mock it. This man, as you all know, has a contemptible spirit.
She's smart. If she told him, he'd probably laugh it off. This guy, like we all know, is kind of a jerk.
smart move he'd laugh at her guy's an ass
He is a very proper man.
He's a handsome man.
He's actually pretty good-looking.
he's handsome
Benedick's soliloquy before the gulling includes his specification for the only woman he could ever love: rich, wise, virtuous, fair, mild, noble, an excellent musician, of good discourse, and 'her hair shall be of what colour it please God.' The list is deliberately impossible — Benedick knows no real woman exists who checks all boxes, which is his excuse for not marrying. But 'her hair shall be of what colour it please God' gives the game away: the last item is a deliberate capitulation to reality, a crack in the armor. He was already preparing to be convinced. By the time Beatrice arrives, he has found 'marks of love' in her face — which means he was already looking.
He hath indeed a good outward happiness.
He does indeed have a good outward appearance.
Yeah, he's pretty attractive on the outside.
looks good tho
’Fore God, and in my mind, very wise.
Before God, and in my opinion, very intelligent.
Honestly, I think he's pretty smart.
and he's smart
He doth indeed show some sparks that are like wit.
He does show some clever remarks.
He does come up with some witty stuff.
and he's witty
And I take him to be valiant.
And I believe him to be courageous.
And I think he's brave.
and brave
As Hector, I assure you: and in the managing of quarrels you
may say he is wise; for either he avoids them with great discretion, or
undertakes them with a most Christian-like fear.
Like Hector, I assure you. And when it comes to handling conflicts, you could say he's wise. Either he avoids them with great judgment, or he takes them on with an almost religious sense of fear.
Like Hector himself, I'm telling you. And when it comes to fights, you could say he's pretty smart about it. Either he avoids them totally, or he gets into them super carefully.
brave as hector wise with quarrels avoids them or handles carefully
If he do fear God, a’ must necessarily keep peace: if he
break the peace, he ought to enter into a quarrel with fear and trembling.
If he respects God, he must necessarily stay at peace. If he breaks the peace, he should enter a conflict with fear and trembling.
If he respects God, he's gotta stay peaceful. If he breaks that peace, he should be terrified about it.
if he fears god he keeps peace if not he's scared
And so will he do; for the man doth fear God, howsoever it
seems not in him by some large jests he will make. Well, I am sorry for
your niece. Shall we go seek Benedick and tell him of her love?
And he will do so. The man respects God, no matter how it seems from his big jokes. Well, I'm sorry for your niece. Should we go find Benedick and tell him about her love?
And he will. The guy respects God, even though he jokes around a lot. Anyway, I feel bad for your niece. Should we go find Benedick and tell him?
he respects god just jokes around feel bad for your niece wanna tell benedick
Never tell him, my lord: let her wear it out with good counsel.
Never tell him, my lord. Let her work through it with good advice.
No, don't tell him. Let her figure it out with some guidance.
don't tell him let her work it out
Nay, that’s impossible: she may wear her heart out first.
No, that's impossible. She might destroy her own heart first.
Yeah, that's not gonna work. She'll break her own heart.
nope she'll break first
Well, we will hear further of it by your daughter: let it cool
the while. I love Benedick well, and I could wish he would modestly
examine himself, to see how much he is unworthy so good a lady.
Well, we'll hear more from your daughter about it. Let it cool for now. I love Benedick well, and I wish he would carefully look at himself and see how unworthy he is of such a good lady.
OK, let's hear what your daughter says. Let it sit for a bit. I actually like Benedick, and I wish he'd take a good look at himself and realize he doesn't deserve her.
let's wait and hear more wish benedick saw he's not worthy of her
My lord, will you walk? dinner is ready.
My lord, will you go for a walk? Dinner is ready.
My lord, want to go in? Dinner's ready.
dinner's ready let's go
[Aside] If he do not dote on her upon this, I will never
trust my expectation.
If he doesn't fall in love with her after hearing this, I will never trust my judgment.
If he doesn't totally fall for her after that, I don't trust anything anymore.
if he doesn't love her after this im done
[Aside] Let there be the same net spread for her; and
that must your daughter and her gentlewoman carry. The sport will be,
when they hold one an opinion of another’s dotage, and no such
matter: that’s the scene that I would see, which will be merely a
dumb show. Let us send her to call him in to dinner.
Set the same trap for her; your daughter and her attendant must carry it out. The fun will be when each thinks the other is madly in love, when there's really nothing: that's the scene I want to see, pure silent comedy. Let's send her to call him to dinner.
Set up the same trick for her—your daughter and her friend will make it happen. The best part will be when they both think the other is obsessed with them, except neither one is really: that's the scene I want to watch, just like a silent film. Let's have her call him in for dinner.
trap her the same way they'll both think the other loves them it'll be hilarious send her to get him for dinner
[Advancing from the arbour.] This can be no trick: the
conference was sadly borne. They have the truth of this from Hero. They
seem to pity the lady: it seems her affections have their full bent. Love
me? why, it must be requited. I hear how I am censured: they say I will
bear myself proudly, if I perceive the love come from her; they say too
that she will rather die than give any sign of affection. I did never
think to marry: I must not seem proud: happy are they that hear their
detractions, and can put them to mending. They say the lady is fair:
’tis a truth, I can bear them witness; and virtuous: ’tis so,
I cannot reprove it; and wise, but for loving me: by my troth, it is no
addition to her wit, nor no great argument of her folly, for I will be
horribly in love with her. I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants
of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage; but
doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he
cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper
bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No; the
world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think
I should live till I were married. Here comes Beatrice. By this day! she’s
a fair lady: I do spy some marks of love in her.
This cannot be a trick: the conversation was too serious. They got this from Hero. They seem to pity the lady—her feelings are deep. Love me? Then it must be returned. I hear what people say about me: they claim I will act proud if I learn she loves me; they also say she would rather die than show affection. I never thought I would marry; I must not seem proud. Happy are those who hear criticism and use it to improve. They say the lady is fair—it's true, I can confirm it; and virtuous—it's true, I cannot deny it; and wise, except for loving me—but that's no loss of wit, no foolishness on her part, for I will be desperately in love with her. Perhaps I'll face some jokes because I've spoken so long against marriage; but doesn't taste change? A man loves as a youth what he hates as an old man. Should clever words and mental tricks stop a man from following his heart? No; the world must have people in it. When I said I would die unmarried, I never expected to actually marry. Here comes Beatrice. By heaven, she's beautiful! I can see signs of love in her.
This is no trick: they were too serious. They got the information from Hero. They clearly pity the lady—she's really in love. So she loves me? Well, I have to love her back. I know what people say about me: they reckon I'll be smug if I find out she loves me; they also say she'd rather die than admit she feels anything. I never wanted to get married; I can't seem stuck up. Lucky are people who hear people criticize them and actually get better. They say she's beautiful—true, I can vouch for that—and good—also true, I won't argue—and smart, except for this thing about me—but that doesn't prove she's foolish, because I'm going to fall madly in love with her. Maybe I'll get teased a little since I've been so against marriage for so long; but don't people change what they want? A man loves certain foods young that disgust him old. Are a few witty sayings going to scare me away from love? No, the world needs population. I said I'd stay unmarried—I never thought I'd actually make it. Here's Beatrice coming. God, she's lovely! I definitely see love in her.
this is real she loves me i gotta love her back i didn't think i'd ever marry but here we are beautrice is so pretty i think she loves me too
Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.
Against my will, I'm being sent to ask you to come in for dinner.
I'm here against my will to tell you to come in and eat.
grudgingly here come eat dinner
Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.
Beautiful Beatrice, I thank you for the trouble you took.
Beatrice, thanks for coming to get me.
thanks for the trouble
I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to
thank me: if it had been painful, I would not have come.
I put no more effort into those thanks than you did in thanking me. If it had been difficult, I wouldn't have come.
I didn't put any more effort into that than you put into thanking me. If it was a hassle, I wouldn't have shown up.
your thanks matched your effort wouldn't have come if it was hard
You take pleasure then in the message?
So you enjoyed delivering the message?
So you're happy you came?
did u enjoy it
Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point,
and choke a daw withal. You have no stomach, signior: fare you well.
Yes, about as much as you can fit on a knife's tip and use to choke a bird with. You have no appetite, sir. Take care.
Yeah, about as much as a tiny speck. You're not hungry, so see you.
barely you're not even hungry anyway
Ha! ‘Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to
dinner,’ there’s a double meaning in that. ‘I took no
more pains for those thanks than you took pains to thank me,’ that’s
as much as to say, Any pains that I take for you is as easy as thanks. If
I do not take pity of her, I am a villain; if I do not love her, I am a
Jew. I will go get her picture.
Ah! 'Against my will I'm sent to ask you to come eat,' there's a double meaning in that. 'I put no more effort in those thanks than you put in thanking me,' which is to say, any trouble I take for you is simple as a thank you. If I don't feel pity for her, I'm evil. If I don't love her, I'm faithless. I'm going to get her picture.
Ha! 'Against my will I'm sent to ask you to dinner'—that's got a hidden meaning. 'I put no more effort into thanks than you did'—meaning, she'd do anything easy for me. If I don't feel sorry for her, I'm a jerk. If I don't love her, I'm terrible. I'm gonna get her portrait.
double meaning she'd do anything for me i have to love her gonna get her picture
The Reckoning
This is comedy at its most gleeful: the man who swore he would never be transformed by love is transformed in real time, before our eyes, by exactly the mechanism he mocked in others. What makes it more than a simple trick is what Shakespeare puts inside Benedick's head. He doesn't just believe the story — he decides that the right response is to love Beatrice back. And then Beatrice arrives with the rudest possible dinner invitation, and Benedick finds double meaning in every word. The audience is watching a man fall in love, and it is wonderful.
If this happened today…
A man who has publicly and vocally sworn off relationships is eating lunch alone when his best friends sit down nearby — not noticing him — and start talking about how his ex is apparently completely in love with him, writing him long unsent messages at 2am, on the verge of a breakdown over it. His group chat is full of her texts to their mutual friend. He sits frozen, pretending to read a menu. By the time they leave, he's already composing a message in his head. When she texts him asking if he's coming to dinner, he reads the subtext of every word.