I am as well acquainted here as I was in our house of profession. One
would think it were Mistress Overdone’s own house, for here be many of
her old customers. First, here’s young Master Rash; he’s in for a
commodity of brown paper and old ginger, nine score and seventeen
pounds; of which he made five marks ready money. Marry, then ginger was
not much in request, for the old women were all dead. Then is there
here one Master Caper, at the suit of Master Three-pile the mercer, for
some four suits of peach-coloured satin, which now peaches him a
beggar. Then have we here young Dizie, and young Master Deep-vow, and
Master Copperspur, and Master Starve-lackey, the rapier and dagger man,
and young Drop-heir that killed lusty Pudding, and Master Forthright
the tilter, and brave Master Shoe-tie the great traveller, and wild
Half-can that stabbed Pots, and I think forty more, all great doers in
our trade, and are now “for the Lord’s sake.”
You would think this was Mistress Overdone's own house, since so many of her old customers are here. First, there's young Master Rash; he's in prison for a large order of brown paper and old ginger, one hundred and ninety-seven pounds of it. He managed to turn five marks of it into ready money. Though at that time ginger wasn't in demand, since all the old women were dead. Then there's Master Caper, sued by the mercer Master Three-pile for four suits of peach-colored satin, which has turned him into a beggar. Then we have young Dizie, young Master Deep-vow, Master Copperspur, Master Starve-lackey the sword-and-dagger fighter, young Drop-heir who killed lusty Pudding, Master Forthright the jousting man, brave Master Shoe-tie the great traveler, and wild Half-can who stabbed Pots, and I think forty more like us, all successful in our profession and now imprisoned for debt.
You'd think this place belonged to Mistress Overdone herself, with all her old customers locked up in here. Take young Master Rash—he's imprisoned for ordering a hundred ninety-seven pounds of brown paper and old ginger. He managed to sell five marks of it for cash. Not that ginger was worth much then—all the old women who bought it were dead. Then there's Master Caper, sued by the mercer Master Three-pile for four peach-colored satin suits, which basically ruined him. And young Dizie, young Master Deep-vow, Master Copperspur, Master Starve-lackey the sword fighter, young Drop-heir who killed lusty Pudding, Master Forthright the jouster, the famous traveler Master Shoe-tie, wild Half-can who stabbed Pots, and about forty more like us—all successful at our trade, now locked up for debt.
this prison's like mistress overdone's place so many old customers here rash: in for 197 lbs brown paper & ginger master caper, drop-heir, all the rest all us successful in our trade now we're locked up for debt
Sirrah, bring Barnardine hither.
Sir, bring Barnardine here.
Go get Barnardine and bring him out here.
go grab barnardine
Master Barnardine! You must rise and be hanged, Master Barnardine.
Master Barnardine! You need to get up and be hanged, Master Barnardine.
Hey Barnardine! Time to wake up and get executed, buddy.
barnardine, get up. time to get hanged.
What ho, Barnardine!
What ho, Barnardine!
What ho, Barnardine!
What ho, Barnardine!
Speaks in the flat declarative of a man who has had every pretension burned away by nine years of prison and chronic intoxication — 'I will not consent to die this day, that's certain.' No argument, no appeal, no emotion. Watch for the complete absence of self-justification: he doesn't need to justify himself to anyone.
[_Within_.] A pox o’ your throats! Who makes that noise there? What are
you?
A curse on your throats! Who makes that noise? Who are you?
Curse you! What's all that noise? Who the hell are you?
go to hell who's yelling who r u
Your friends, sir; the hangman. You must be so good, sir, to rise and
be put to death.
Your friends, sir: the executioner. You need to be so kind as to rise and be executed.
Your friends are here, sir—the hangman. Now be a good man and get up so we can put you to death.
your friends r here. the hangman. time to get up & die
[_Within_.] Away, you rogue, away; I am sleepy.
Get away from me, you rogue; I'm sleepy.
Back off, you bum; I need to sleep.
leave me alone im sleeping
Tell him he must awake, and that quickly too.
Tell him he must wake up, and quickly too.
Tell him he's got to wake up right now.
wake him up. fast.
Pray, Master Barnardine, awake till you are executed, and sleep
afterwards.
I ask you, Master Barnardine, stay awake until you're executed, and sleep afterwards.
Master Barnardine, stay awake for your execution, and you can sleep all you want after.
stay awake til ur executed. then u can sleep
Go in to him, and fetch him out.
Go into his cell and bring him out.
Go in there and get him out.
go get him. bring him out.
He is coming, sir, he is coming. I hear his straw rustle.
He's coming, sir, he's coming. I can hear the straw in his cell rustling.
He's on his way, sir. I can hear him moving around in there.
he's coming. i can hear him moving
Is the axe upon the block, sirrah?
Is the axe ready on the execution block, sir?
Is the axe set up on the block, sir?
axe on the block?
Barnardine is one of the strangest characters in all of Shakespeare. He is a convicted murderer who has spent nine years in prison without being executed — because his friends kept winning reprieves and because Angelo's administration finally established proof beyond doubt.
The play gives him almost nothing to say. His total speech is under twenty words. But those words constitute the most complete assertion of individual autonomy in the entire text.
In a play built on coerced consent — Angelo coercing Isabella, the law coercing Claudio, the Duke maneuvering everyone through information and disguise — Barnardine simply declines to participate. He has been drunk all night. He is not prepared. He will not consent to die today.
The Duke, who has managed everyone else through philosophy, authority, and friar's robes, has nothing. 'Unfit to live or die' is the most accurate thing he says about Barnardine — and it's also, uncomfortably, a description of someone who has found a way to exist outside the systems of power entirely.
The fact that Barnardine is ultimately pardoned in Act 5 — despite being a genuine murderer — has bothered critics for centuries. It seems arbitrary. But if the play's theme is the relationship between mercy and justice, Barnardine's pardon may be the play's most honest admission: that mercy, applied consistently, covers even the unrepentant.
Very ready, sir.
Very ready, sir.
Very ready, sir.
Very ready, sir.
How now, Abhorson? What’s the news with you?
What's the situation, Abhorson? What news do you have?
Hey Abhorson, what's going on? What's the news?
what's up abhorson? what's new?
Truly, sir, I would desire you to clap into your prayers; for, look
you, the warrant’s come.
Honestly, sir, I'd want you to start saying your prayers, because the execution warrant has arrived.
Listen, sir, you better start praying, because your execution order just came through.
time to pray, sir. warrant's here.
You rogue, I have been drinking all night; I am not fitted for’t.
You scoundrel, I've been drinking all night; I'm not ready for this.
You jerk, I've been drinking all night long. I'm not prepared for this.
i've been drinking all night. i'm not ready 4 this
O, the better, sir; for he that drinks all night and is hanged betimes
in the morning may sleep the sounder all the next day.
All the better, sir; because someone who drinks all night and is hanged early in the morning will sleep more soundly all the next day.
That's actually perfect, sir—a guy who drinks all night and gets hanged in the morning gets to sleep real sound the whole next day.
even better. get drunk, get hanged, sleep real good after
Look you, sir, here comes your ghostly father. Do we jest now, think
you?
Look here, sir, here comes your spiritual advisor. Are we joking around now, do you think?
Listen, sir, here comes your priest now. Are we seriously kidding around at a time like this?
ur priest's here. seriously right now?
Sir, induced by my charity, and hearing how hastily you are to depart,
I am come to advise you, comfort you, and pray with you.
Sir, moved by my religious duty, and learning how urgently you must depart, I've come to advise you, comfort you, and pray with you.
Sir, I came here because I'm a priest and because you're going to die soon. I want to give you advice, comfort you, and say prayers with you.
i'm here to help u. give u advice. figure out what comes next
Friar, not I. I have been drinking hard all night, and I will have more
time to prepare me, or they shall beat out my brains with billets. I
will not consent to die this day, that’s certain.
Friar, no. I've been drinking hard all night, and I want more time to prepare myself, or they'll beat my brains out with wooden clubs. I absolutely will not die today.
Friar, no way. I've been drinking all night, and I need more time to get ready. If I don't, they'll smash my head in. I'm not dying today, period.
no. i've been drinking. i need more time. they'll beat my head in otherwise. i'm not dying 2day
O, sir, you must; and therefore I beseech you
Look forward on the journey you shall go.
Oh, sir, you must; and therefore I ask you, look ahead to the journey you will make.
Oh sir, you have to. So please, just think about what's coming next.
u have to. think about what's next
I swear I will not die today for any man’s persuasion.
I swear I will not die today for anyone's persuasion.
I'm telling you straight—nobody's going to talk me into dying today.
i'm not dying 2day. no1 can change my mind
But hear you—
But hear you—
But hear you—
But hear you—
Not a word. If you have anything to say to me, come to my ward, for
thence will not I today.
Not a word. If you have anything to tell me, come to my cell, because I'm not leaving it today.
Not another word. If you want to talk to me, come to my cell. I'm staying here today.
not talking. come 2 my cell if u want me. i'm staying here
Unfit to live or die. O gravel heart!
After him, fellows; bring him to the block.
Unfit to live or die. Oh, stubborn heart! Go after him, men; take him to the execution block.
He's not fit for anything. Oh, that stubborn man! Go after him, fellows; bring him to the block.
he's hopeless. go get him. bring him to the block
When the Duke learns Isabella is coming and decides to tell her Claudio is dead, he frames it as pastoral: he will 'make her heavenly comforts of despair / When it is least expected.' The surprise joy will be greater for having come from despair.
This is the interpretation directors who sympathize with the Duke tend to choose. And there is precedent in spiritual direction: sometimes the full truth in stages is kinder than the full truth at once.
But there is another reading. The Duke has a plan — he needs Isabella to confront Angelo publicly at the city gate, in genuine distress, with genuine accusations. A woman who believes her brother is dead will be more convincingly grief-stricken, more credibly outraged, than a woman who knows he's safely hidden.
In other words: the Duke lies to Isabella because her genuine grief is useful to his plan.
Both readings are available in the text. The first is more comfortable. The second is more consistent with how the Duke has behaved throughout — using people's emotions and limited information to direct their actions toward his own ends.
The play doesn't decide between them. It presents the lie and gives us the consequences — Isabella grieving for a brother who is alive, directed toward a confrontation she doesn't fully understand, for purposes she hasn't been told.
Now, sir, how do you find the prisoner?
Now, sir, what's your assessment of the prisoner?
So how do you think he is—the prisoner, I mean?
what do u think of the prisoner?
A creature unprepared, unmeet for death;
And to transport him in the mind he is
Were damnable.
A person not prepared, unsuited for death; and to send him to die while in his current state would be damnable.
A man who's not ready, not prepared to die; and to make him face death in this condition would be wrong.
he's not ready. making him die like this would b wrong
Here in the prison, father,
There died this morning of a cruel fever
One Ragozine, a most notorious pirate,
A man of Claudio’s years; his beard and head
Just of his colour. What if we do omit
This reprobate till he were well inclined,
And satisfy the Deputy with the visage
Of Ragozine, more like to Claudio?
Here in the prison, father, a man named Ragozine died this morning of a cruel fever— a notorious pirate, about the same age as Claudio, with a beard and hair just like his color. What if we delay this condemned man until he's repented, and instead show Angelo the head of Ragozine, who looks more similar to Claudio?
Here in the prison, father, this morning a man called Ragozine died of a fever— a famous pirate, about the same age as Claudio, with a beard and hair the same color as his. What if we wait to execute this prisoner until he's had time to repent, and show the Deputy Angelo the head of Ragozine instead, since he looks so much like Claudio?
ragozine died this morning. pirate, same age as claudio. same beard color. what if we use his head instead? and wait on this guy?
O, ’tis an accident that heaven provides!
Dispatch it presently; the hour draws on
Prefixed by Angelo. See this be done,
And sent according to command, whiles I
Persuade this rude wretch willingly to die.
Oh, that's perfect—something heaven itself provides! Do it right now; Angelo's deadline is approaching. Make sure this is done, and sent as ordered, while I try to get this rough prisoner to die willingly.
Oh, that's perfect—it's like heaven is helping us out! Do it immediately; we're running out of time with Angelo. Make absolutely sure it gets done, and sent the way he wants, while I work on getting this stubborn guy to go willingly to his death.
perfect timing. do it now. angelo's deadline is close. while i work on getting this guy to go quietly
This shall be done, good father, presently.
But Barnardine must die this afternoon;
And how shall we continue Claudio,
To save me from the danger that might come
If he were known alive?
I'll do this right away, good father. But Barnardine has to die this afternoon; and how am I supposed to keep Claudio hidden to protect myself from the danger that could come if he's discovered alive?
I'll take care of it right now, father. But Barnardine has to die today; and how am I supposed to keep Claudio secret to protect myself if he's found out to be alive?
i'll do it asap. but barnardine dies 2day. what do i do with claudio to keep him hidden?
Let this be done:
Put them in secret holds, both Barnardine and Claudio.
Ere twice the sun hath made his journal greeting
To yonder generation, you shall find
Your safety manifested.
Here's what you'll do: Keep them both locked away secretly, Barnardine and Claudio. Before the sun has made its full circle twice to reach your part of the world, you'll find your safety secured.
Do this: Lock them both up secretly, Barnardine and Claudio. In less than two days, you'll see that everything's going to be fine.
lock them both up secretly. barnardine & claudio. in 2 days ur safe. trust me
I am your free dependant.
I'm completely at your command.
I'll do whatever you need me to do.
i'm all yours
Quick, dispatch, and send the head to Angelo.
Hurry up and send the head to Angelo.
Hurry—send that head to Angelo.
go send the head to angelo
Now will I write letters to Angelo,
The Provost, he shall bear them, whose contents
Shall witness to him I am near at home;
And that by great injunctions I am bound
To enter publicly. Him I’ll desire
To meet me at the consecrated fount,
A league below the city; and from thence,
By cold gradation and well-balanced form.
We shall proceed with Angelo.
Now I will write letters to Angelo, and the Provost will carry them. The letters will prove to him that I'm almost home and that I'm bound by important instructions to appear in public. I'll ask him to meet me at the holy fountain, a mile below the city, and from there, with careful planning and measured steps, we will deal with Angelo.
I'm going to write letters to Angelo, and the Provost will deliver them. They'll show him that I'm almost back and that I'm required to appear publicly. I want him to meet me at the sacred fountain, just outside the city, and from there we'll handle Angelo carefully, step by step.
writing letters to angelo provost delivers them says im coming home meet me at fountain well handle him carefully
Here is the head; I’ll carry it myself.
Here's the head; I'll carry it myself.
Here's the head. I'll deliver it personally.
i got it. i'll take it myself
Convenient is it. Make a swift return;
For I would commune with you of such things
That want no ear but yours.
That works perfectly. Make a quick trip back; I need to talk with you about things that only you should hear.
That's perfect. Come back quickly; I've got things to discuss with you that nobody else should know about.
perfect. come back soon. i got stuff 2 tell u only u
When Ragozine dies conveniently in the prison on the morning when a head is needed, the Duke says: 'O, 'tis an accident that heaven provides!'
This phrase is one of the play's key theological moments. Is Ragozine's death Providence — God's direct intervention to protect the innocent — or is it coincidence that the Duke reframes as Providence to consolidate his authority?
The question matters because the Duke uses providential language throughout the play to justify his methods. He frames the bed-trick as morally justified. He frames keeping Isabella in the dark as pastorally wise. He frames his entire disguise as a form of righteous oversight. In each case, the claim to divine endorsement makes his methods harder to scrutinize.
But the text allows a simpler, more comfortable reading: sometimes things just work out. A pirate died of fever. His physical resemblance to Claudio is remarkable. The Duke has a plan that requires a head. The timing is extraordinary.
Whether that's heaven providing or random coincidence is, the play suggests, ultimately unknowable — which is exactly where Jacobean theology would want the question to rest.
I’ll make all speed.
I'll move as quickly as possible.
I'll be fast.
going fast
[_Within_.] Peace, ho, be here!
Hello! Is anyone here? Let there be peace!
Hey! Is anyone in there? I need peace and quiet.
hello? anyone home? peace please
The tongue of Isabel. She’s come to know
If yet her brother’s pardon be come hither.
But I will keep her ignorant of her good,
To make her heavenly comforts of despair
When it is least expected.
Isabella's voice. She's come to find out if her brother's pardon has come through. But I'll keep her ignorant of her good fortune, to give her heavenly comfort from despair when she least expects it.
That's Isabella. She's here to find out if her brother got pardoned. But I'm going to hide the good news from her, so when she learns the truth later, it'll come as a blessing when she's given up hope.
isabella's here. wants 2 know if claudio's pardoned. but i'll keep it secret. shock & relief's better
Ho, by your leave!
Hello, may I speak with you?
Excuse me, can I talk to you?
hey can i talk 2 u?
Good morning to you, fair and gracious daughter.
Good morning to you, fair and gracious young woman.
Good morning to you, a fair and gracious lady.
good morning. u look lovely
The better, given me by so holy a man.
Hath yet the Deputy sent my brother’s pardon?
It's even better, given to me by such a holy man. Has the Deputy sent my brother's pardon yet?
It's better coming from such a holy man. Has the Deputy sent my brother's pardon?
ur blessing means a lot. where's my brother's pardon?
He hath released him, Isabel, from the world.
His head is off, and sent to Angelo.
He's released him, Isabella, from this world. His head is off, and sent to Angelo.
He's released him from life, Isabella. His head's been cut off and sent to Angelo.
he's dead, isabella. head's off. sent to angelo
Nay, but it is not so.
No, but that's not true.
No, that can't be right.
no way. that didn't happen
It is no other.
Show your wisdom, daughter, in your close patience.
It is no different. Show your wisdom, daughter, through your silent patience.
It's exactly what I said. Show me you're wise by staying calm.
it's true. be smart. stay calm
O, I will to him and pluck out his eyes!
Oh, I'll go to him and tear out his eyes!
I'm going to find him and rip his eyes out!
i'm gonna rip his eyes out
You shall not be admitted to his sight.
You won't be allowed to see him.
You won't get near him.
u won't see him
Unhappy Claudio! Wretched Isabel!
Injurious world! Most damned Angelo!
Poor Claudio! Miserable Isabella! Cruel world! Most cursed Angelo!
Poor Claudio! Wretched me! This terrible world! Damn Angelo!
poor claudio. i'm wretched. damn angelo
This nor hurts him nor profits you a jot.
Forbear it, therefore; give your cause to heaven.
Mark what I say, which you shall find
By every syllable a faithful verity.
The Duke comes home tomorrow;—nay, dry your eyes.
One of our convent, and his confessor,
Gives me this instance. Already he hath carried
Notice to Escalus and Angelo,
Who do prepare to meet him at the gates,
There to give up their power. If you can, pace your wisdom
In that good path that I would wish it go,
And you shall have your bosom on this wretch,
Grace of the Duke, revenges to your heart,
And general honour.
This neither harms him nor helps you at all. Stop it, therefore, and give your case to heaven. Listen to what I tell you, which you will find to be true in every detail. The Duke comes home tomorrow—now, dry your eyes. A member of our monastery, who is also his confessor, gives me this word. He has already sent notice to Escalus and Angelo, who are preparing to meet him at the gates to surrender their power. If you can, direct your wisdom down the good path I recommend, and you will have your revenge on this wretch, with the Duke's grace, satisfaction for your heart, and general honor.
This doesn't hurt him or help you one bit. So stop it and leave it to heaven. Now listen—every word I'm about to say is true. The Duke is coming back tomorrow, so dry your eyes. I have a friend in our monastery who is his confessor, and he's told me the news. The Duke has already sent word to Escalus and Angelo—they're going to meet him at the gates to hand over their power. If you follow the good path I'm pointing out, you'll get your revenge on this man with the Duke's blessing, your satisfaction, and honor.
stop it, give it to heaven the duke comes home tomorrow escalus & angelo r meeting him at the gates u'll get ur revenge by the duke's grace honor & justice for u
Lucio ends this scene declaring himself 'a kind of burr' who will stick to the Duke regardless. This is not just a character note — it is a theatrical function.
Lucio has been attached to the Duke throughout Acts 3 and 4. He appears in 3-2 to slander him, in 4-3 to slander him again, and he walks out at the end of this scene literally attached to the disguised Duke's side. He is the shadow figure that the Duke cannot shake — the voice that names the Duke's methods accurately and insultingly, that reveals information the Duke needs (Kate Keepdown) and confirms information the Duke already knows.
In structural terms, Lucio is the play's comic nemesis: the character whose punishment in Act 5 is the Duke's most personal act of the scene, almost certainly the most disproportionate response in the play. The Duke sentences him to marriage — which Lucio considers worse than whipping, worse than prison — and every word of this sentence is rooted in what Lucio said and did in Scenes 3-2, 4-3, and this conversation.
The burr sticks because Lucio names things the Duke would rather leave unnamed. And the Duke, for all his professed philosophy about public life and slander, cannot let it go.
I am directed by you.
I'll follow your guidance.
I'll do what you say.
i'll listen 2 u
This letter, then, to Friar Peter give;
’Tis that he sent me of the Duke’s return.
Say, by this token, I desire his company
At Mariana’s house tonight. Her cause and yours
I’ll perfect him withal, and he shall bring you
Before the Duke; and to the head of Angelo
Accuse him home and home. For my poor self,
I am combined by a sacred vow,
And shall be absent. Wend you with this letter.
Command these fretting waters from your eyes
With a light heart; trust not my holy order,
If I pervert your course.—Who’s here?
Give this letter to Friar Peter; it's from the Duke telling me he's returning. Tell him by this note that I want him to meet with Mariana at her house tonight. I'll explain her situation and yours to him completely, and he'll bring you before the Duke; and directly accuse Angelo for all he's done. As for me, I'm bound by a sacred vow, and I'll be absent. Go with this letter. Control these tears from your eyes with courage; trust my holy order, if I lead you astray.—Who's here?
Take this letter to Friar Peter; it's about the Duke coming home. Tell him I want him to come to Mariana's place tonight. I'll fill him in on everything—Mariana's story and yours—and he'll get you in front of the Duke; and he'll fully accuse Angelo for what he's done. As for me, I've taken a sacred vow, so I have to leave. Go deliver this letter. Try to stop crying; follow my lead, and you won't regret it.—Who's that?
give this 2 friar peter. about the duke. tell him 2 meet u at mariana's 2night. i'll explain everything. he'll get u to the duke. accuse angelo. i gotta go. stop crying. trust me.
Good even. Friar, where is the Provost?
Good evening. Friar, where is the Provost?
Good evening. Hey Friar, where's the Provost?
hey friar. where's the provost?
Not within, sir.
Not within, sir.
Not within, sir.
Not within, sir.
O pretty Isabella, I am pale at mine heart to see thine eyes so red.
Thou must be patient. I am fain to dine and sup with water and bran. I
dare not for my head fill my belly. One fruitful meal would set me
to’t. But they say the Duke will be here tomorrow. By my troth, Isabel,
I loved thy brother. If the old fantastical duke of dark corners had
been at home, he had lived.
Oh pretty Isabella, I'm sick at heart to see your eyes so red. You have to be patient. I'm forced to eat nothing but water and bran, and I don't dare eat anything else or I'll lose my head. One real meal would get me in trouble. But they say the Duke will be here tomorrow. Honestly, Isabel, I loved your brother. If that crazy Duke with his hidden ways had been here, your brother would still be alive.
Isabella, your eyes are all red and it breaks my heart. You need to be patient. I'm stuck eating just water and bran—I can't risk anything else or I'll get my head cut off. One good meal could get me executed. But the Duke's supposed to be here tomorrow. Truth is, I liked your brother. If that weird Duke who hides out all the time had been around, your brother would still be breathing.
isabella ur eyes r red. be patient. i'm eating water & bran. can't risk more. one meal & i'm done. duke comes 2morrow. i liked ur brother. if the duke was here, claudio'd b alive
Sir, the Duke is marvellous little beholding to your reports; but the
best is, he lives not in them.
Sir, the Duke doesn't owe much to the stories you tell about him; but the best part is, he doesn't live in those stories.
Sir, the Duke doesn't owe you anything for your gossip about him; and the good news is, he's not like what you're saying.
duke doesn't owe u. and he's not like ur stories
Friar, thou knowest not the Duke so well as I do. He’s a better woodman
than thou tak’st him for.
Friar, you don't know the Duke as well as I do. He's much more of a hunter than you think.
Friar, you don't know the Duke like I do. He's a lot sharper than you give him credit for.
u don't know the duke. he's way better than u think
Well, you’ll answer this one day. Fare ye well.
Well, you'll answer for this one day. Good-bye.
You're going to have to answer for that one day. Take care.
u'll answer 4 that. goodbye
Nay, tarry, I’ll go along with thee. I can tell thee pretty tales of
the Duke.
No, wait, I'll go along with you. I can tell you pretty stories about the Duke.
Wait, I'm coming with you. I've got some great stories about the Duke to tell.
wait i'm coming. got stories 4 u
You have told me too many of him already, sir, if they be true; if not
true, none were enough.
You've already told me too many stories about him, sir, if they're true; if they're not true, not a single one was needed.
You've already told me too many stories about him, sir. If they're true, that's enough; if they're false, even one was too much.
u told me enough already. if true—too many. if false—none at all
I was once before him for getting a wench with child.
I was once brought before him for getting a young woman pregnant.
I was once brought in front of him because I got a girl pregnant.
i was b4 him once. got a girl pregnant
Did you such a thing?
You actually fathered a child on a woman?
You really did that?
u really did that?
Yes, marry, did I; but I was fain to forswear it. They would else have
married me to the rotten medlar.
Yes, I did; but I had to deny it. Otherwise they would have made me marry her—a woman who was already falling apart.
Yeah, I did; but I had to deny it. If I didn't, they would've forced me to marry her—and she was a wreck.
yeah i did. but i denied it. they'd b married me 2 her. would've been bad
Sir, your company is fairer than honest. Rest you well.
Sir, your company is worse than disreputable. Good-bye.
Sir, your company is more shameful than honest. Good-bye.
ur not good company. goodbye
By my troth, I’ll go with thee to the lane’s end. If bawdy talk offend
you, we’ll have very little of it. Nay, friar, I am a kind of burr; I
shall stick.
Honestly, I'll go with you all the way to the end of the street. If dirty talk offends you, we won't have much of it. No, friar, I'm like a sticky burr; I'll stick to you.
I swear, I'm coming all the way with you. If dirty jokes bother you, we'll keep it clean. No, friar, I'm like a burr—I'm sticking around.
i'm going w u. kill the dirty talk if u want. i'm like a burr. i'm sticking around
The Reckoning
Barnardine's refusal is the funniest and most philosophically disruptive moment in the play — a man so indifferent to authority, law, and death that he simply walks back to his cell, and the Duke has nothing to say. Providence solves the problem he created. Then the Duke makes a choice that is harder to excuse: he lies to Isabella about Claudio's death. The scene ends with Lucio attached to the Duke's elbow, still slandering him, still unable to be shaken off.
If this happened today…
A senior manager's entire crisis plan depends on firing a particular employee before their employment lawyer finds out. The employee is called into the meeting at 9am and says: 'I drank all night. I'm not in a state to process a termination. Come back next week.' And walks out. The manager stands in the empty conference room saying 'he can't just do that.' Then HR calls to say someone else resigned spontaneously and their exit package, by coincidence, exactly covers what was needed. The manager pivots immediately to the next crisis.