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Act 1, Scene 3 — An ante-chamber in the palace.
on stage:
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The argument Three courtiers mock French-obsessed Englishmen returning from the Field of Cloth of Gold, then discover they are all invited to Wolsey's lavish banquet that evening.
Enter Lord Chamberlain and Lord Sandys.
First appearance
CHAMBERLAIN

The Lord Chamberlain speaks with mild irony — never quite as coarse as Sandys, never as sharp as Norfolk. He manages social situations by deflecting with gentle wit. Watch for how he positions himself as the reasonable center between excess and propriety.

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

Is’t possible the spells of France should juggle

Men into such strange mysteries?

Is’t possible the spells of France should juggle Men into such strange mysteries?

chamberlain says: is’t possible the spells of france should juggle men into such strange mysteries?

is’t possible the spells of france shoul

First appearance
SANDYS

Sandys is the play's most consistent comic voice: cheerfully bawdy, self-deprecating about his provincial plainness, and absolutely unashamed of his appetites. Watch for how he turns every topic toward women and wine without it ever feeling surprising.

SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

New customs,

Though they be never so ridiculous—

Nay, let ’em be unmanly—yet are followed.

New customs, yough they be never so ridiculous— Nay, let ’em be unmanly—yet are followed.

sandys says: new customs, yough they be never so ridiculous— nay, let ’em be unmanly—yet are followed.

new customs, yough they be never so ridi

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

As far as I see, all the good our English

Have got by the late voyage is but merely

A fit or two o’ th’ face; but they are shrewd ones,

For when they hold ’em, you would swear directly

Their very noses had been counsellors

To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.

As far as I see, all the good our English Have got by the late voyage is but merely A fit or two o’ th’ face; but they are shrewd ones, For when they hold ’em, you would swear directly Their very noses had been counsellors To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so.

chamberlain explains: as far as i see, all the good our english have got by the late voyage is but merely a fit or two o’ th’ face; but they are shrewd ones, for when they ...

as far as i see, all the good our english have got by the late voyage is but merely a fit or two o’ th’ face; but they are shrewd ones, for when they hold ’em, you would swear directly their very noses had been counsellors to pepin or clotharius, they keep state so.

SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

They have all new legs, and lame ones. One would take it,

That never saw ’em pace before, the spavin

Or springhalt reigned among ’em.

They have all new legs, and lame ones. One would take it, That never saw ’em pace before, the spavin Or springhalt reigned among ’em.

sandys says: they have all new legs, and lame ones. one would take it, that never saw ’em pace before, the spavin or springhalt reigned among ’em.

they have all new legs, and lame ones one would take it, that never saw ’em pa

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

Death! My lord,

Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to’t,

That, sure, they’ve worn out Christendom.

Death! My lord, Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to’t, That, sure, they’ve worn out Christendom.

chamberlain says: death! my lord, their clothes are after such a pagan cut to’t, that, sure, they’ve worn out christendom.

death! my lord, their clothes are after

Enter Sir Thomas Lovell.
How now?
What news, Sir Thomas Lovell?
First appearance
LOVELL

Lovell is a straight man who sets up other people's jokes. He repeats or asks questions to give Sandys room to land a punchline. Watch for how rarely he says anything that doesn't invite someone else's wit.

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

Faith, my lord,

I hear of none but the new proclamation

That’s clapped upon the court gate.

Faith, my lord, I hear of none but the new proclamation That’s clapped upon the court gate.

lovell says: faith, my lord, i hear of none but the new proclamation that’s clapped upon the court gate.

faith, my lord, i hear of none but the n

CHAMBERLAIN (review needed)

What is’t for?

What is’t for?

what is’t for?

what is’t for?

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

The reformation of our travelled gallants

That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.

The reformation of our travelled gallants That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.

lovell says: the reformation of our travelled gallants that fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors.

the reformation of our travelled gallant

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

I’m glad ’tis there. Now I would pray our monsieurs

To think an English courtier may be wise

And never see the Louvre.

I’m glad ’tis there. Now I would pray our monsieurs To think an English courtier may be wise And never see the Louvre.

chamberlain says: i’m glad ’tis there. now i would pray our monsieurs to think an english courtier may be wise and never see the louvre.

i’m glad ’tis there now i would pray our monsieurs to think

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

They must either,

For so run the conditions, leave those remnants

Of fool and feather that they got in France,

With all their honourable points of ignorance

Pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks,

Abusing better men than they can be

Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean

The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings,

Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel,

And understand again like honest men,

Or pack to their old playfellows. There, I take it,

They may, _cum privilegio, oui_ away

The lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at.

They must either, For so run the conditions, leave those remnants Of fool and feather that they got in France, With all their honourable points of ignorance Pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks, Abusing better men than they can be Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings, Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel, And understand again like honest men, Or pack to their old playfellows. There, I take it, They may, _cum privilegio, oui_ away The lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at.

lovell explains: they must either, for so run the conditions, leave those remnants of fool and feather that they got in france, with all their honourable points of ign...

they must either, for so run the conditions, leave those remnants of fool and feather that they got in france, with all their honourable points of ignorance pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks, abusing better men than they can be out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean the faith they have in tennis and tall stockings, short blistered breeches, and those types of travel, and understand again like honest men, or pack to their old playfellows there, i take it, they may, _cum privilegio, oui_ away the lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at.

SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

’Tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases

Are grown so catching.

’Tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases Are grown so catching.

sandys says: ’tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases are grown so catching.

’tis time to give ’em physic, their dise

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

What a loss our ladies

Will have of these trim vanities!

What a loss our ladies Will have of these trim vanities!

chamberlain says: what a loss our ladies will have of these trim vanities!

what a loss our ladies will have of thes

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

Ay, marry,

There will be woe indeed, lords. The sly whoresons

Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies.

A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.

Ay, marry, There will be woe indeed, lords. The sly whoresons Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies. A French song and a fiddle has no fellow.

lovell says: ay, marry, there will be woe indeed, lords. the sly whoresons have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies. a french song and a fiddle has no fellow.

ay, marry, there will be woe indeed, lor the sly whoresons have got a speeding tr

SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

The devil fiddle ’em! I am glad they are going,

For sure, there’s no converting of ’em. Now

An honest country lord, as I am, beaten

A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong

And have an hour of hearing, and, by ’r Lady,

Held current music too.

The devil fiddle ’em! I am glad they are going, For sure, there’s no converting of ’em. Now An honest country lord, as I am, beaten A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong And have an hour of hearing, and, by ’r Lady, Held current music too.

sandys explains: the devil fiddle ’em! i am glad they are going, for sure, there’s no converting of ’em. now an honest country lord, as i am, beaten a long time out of...

the devil fiddle ’em! i am glad they are going, for sure, there’s no converting of ’em now an honest country lord, as i am, beaten a long time out of play, may bring his plainsong and have an hour of hearing, and, by ’r lady, held current music too.

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

Well said, Lord Sandys.

Your colt’s tooth is not cast yet.

Well said, Lord Sandys. Your colt’s tooth is not cast yet.

chamberlain says: well said, lord sandys. your colt’s tooth is not cast yet.

well said, lord sandys. your colt’s toot

SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

No, my lord,

Nor shall not while I have a stump.

No, my lord, Nor shall not while I have a stump.

sandys says: no, my lord, nor shall not while i have a stump.

no, my lord, nor shall not while i have

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

Sir Thomas,

Whither were you a-going?

Sir Thomas, Whither were you a-going?

sir thomas, whither were you a-going?

sir thomas, whither

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

To the Cardinal’s.

Your lordship is a guest too.

To the Cardinal’s. Your lordship is a guest too.

to the cardinal’s. your lordship is a guest too.

to the cardinal’s.

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

O, ’tis true.

This night he makes a supper, and a great one,

To many lords and ladies. There will be

The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.

O, ’tis true. This night he makes a supper, and a great one, To many lords and ladies. There will be The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you.

chamberlain says: o, ’tis true. this night he makes a supper, and a great one, to many lords and ladies. there will be the beauty of this kingdom, i’ll assure you.

o, ’tis true. this night he makes a supp there will be the beauty of this kingdom

LOVELL ≋ verse (review needed)

That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed,

A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us.

His dews fall everywhere.

That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed, A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us. His dews fall everywhere.

lovell says: that churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed, a hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us. his dews fall everywhere.

that churchman bears a bounteous mind in

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

No doubt he’s noble;

He had a black mouth that said other of him.

No doubt he’s noble; He had a black mouth that said other of him.

chamberlain says: no doubt he’s noble; he had a black mouth that said other of him.

no doubt he’s noble; he had a black mout

🎭 Dramatic irony The Chamberlain's defense of Wolsey — 'he had a black mouth that said other of him' — is spoken by a man who has just seen Wolsey steal credit for the tax pardon and stage-manage testimony against Buckingham. The audience knows that Wolsey's critics do not, in fact, have black mouths.
SANDYS ≋ verse (review needed)

He may, my lord; has wherewithal. In him

Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine.

Men of his way should be most liberal;

They are set here for examples.

He may, my lord; has wherewithal. In him Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine. Men of his way should be most liberal; They are set here for examples.

sandys explains: he may, my lord; has wherewithal. in him sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine. men of his way should be most liberal; they are set here fo...

he may, my lord; has wherewithal in him sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine. men of his way should be most liberal; they are set here for examples.

CHAMBERLAIN ≋ verse (review needed)

True, they are so,

But few now give so great ones. My barge stays.

Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas,

We shall be late else, which I would not be,

For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford,

This night to be comptrollers.

True, they are so, But few now give so great ones. My barge stays. Your lordship shall along. Come, good Sir Thomas, We shall be late else, which I would not be, For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guildford, This night to be comptrollers.

chamberlain explains: true, they are so, but few now give so great ones. my barge stays. your lordship shall along. come, good sir thomas, we shall be late else, which i wo...

true, they are so, but few now give so great ones my barge stays. your lordship shall along come, good sir thomas, we shall be late else, which i would not be, for i was spoke to, with sir henry guildford, this night to be comptrollers.

SANDYS (review needed)

I am your lordship’s.

I am your lordship’s.

i am your lordship’s.

i am your

[_Exeunt._]

The Reckoning

After two scenes of political violence — a conspiracy, an arrest, a show trial — the play steps back and offers something close to pure fun. These men are shallow, cheerful, and entirely undisturbed by the fact that their colleague was just sent to the Tower. The comedy has a slight edge to it: the very court culture they're mocking is about to swallow them all. But for now, everyone's headed to Wolsey's dinner.

If this happened today…

Three tech executives meet in a hallway. Two of them are roasting a colleague who went to a conference in Berlin and came back wearing Norwegian minimalist fashion and talking about 'Nordic work-life philosophy.' The third says there's a new HR policy requiring business-casual at work events. The first two laugh. Then it turns out all three are going to the same founder's party that night at his penthouse. Nobody mentions that another colleague was just let go under mysterious circumstances.

Continue to 1.4 →