Where is my gracious Archbishop of Canterbury?

Where's that Archbishop of Canterbury I asked for?

wheres the archbishop

He's not here at the moment.

He's not here right now.

he's not here.

Send for him, my uncle.

Go get him, uncle.

find him. now.

Should we call in the ambassador, my liege?

Should we bring in the French ambassador now?

do we bring in the french guy?

Not yet, my cousin. We need to be informed first, before we hear him, about some matters of importance that require our thought and concern about France.

Not yet. Look, I need to understand some things first before we hear what he has to say. There's stuff about France I need to get straight.

not yet. i need to figure some things out before i see him. about france.

God and his angels guard your sacred throne, and may you reign for a long time on it!

God and the angels protect you, your Majesty. May you rule for a very long time.

god protect you. may you reign long.

We thank you. My learned lord, we ask you to continue and explain clearly and honestly why the law Salic that they have in France should or should not prevent us from claiming the throne. And God forbid, my dear and faithful lord, that you should twist, distort, or bend your explanation, or carefully burden your conscience with promoting false titles that don't match the truth. Because God knows how many men now in good health will bleed and die supporting whatever you convince us to do. So take care how you risk our person, how you awaken our sleeping weapon of war. We order you in God's name, be careful. Two kingdoms have never fought without much bloodshed, and each innocent drop is a complaint against the person whose injustice sharpened the swords that cause such death. Speak under this oath, my lord, because we will listen, pay attention, and believe that what you say is as pure and washed clean as sin by baptism.

Look, I need you to explain whether I actually have a right to the French throne. Don't try to manipulate me with twisted arguments or fake legal reasoning. You need to understand that real people will die if you convince me to go to war. So be honest about this, because it's a matter of life and death for thousands of men. Every death matters, and God will judge whoever starts an unjust war. I'm trusting you to tell me the truth, and I need to know you'll do it properly.

explain if i have claim to france. dont twist it. men will die on ur answer. be honest - its life & death

Then listen, gracious sovereign and you nobles who owe yourselves and your lives to this throne. There is no law preventing your Highness from claiming France except this one, which they produce from Pharamond: 'No woman shall succeed in Salic land.' Which Salic land the French falsely claim is the realm of France, saying Pharamond founded this law. Yet their own scholars truly say that Salic land is in Germany, between the rivers Sala and Elbe, where Charles the Great, after conquering the Saxons, left some French settlers. These settlers, despising German women for their dishonest behavior, established this law that no female could inherit in Salic land—which Salic land, between Elbe and Sala, is now called Meissen in Germany. So the Salic law was not meant for the realm of France at all. The French did not even possess Salic land until four hundred twenty-one years after King Pharamond died, who supposedly founded this law in the year four hundred twenty-six. Charles the Great conquered the Saxons and settled the French beyond the river Sala in the year eight hundred five. Yet the French themselves prove through their own writers that King Pepin, descendant of Blithild, daughter of King Clothair, claimed the crown as heir general. Hugh Capet also, who seized the crown from Charles the Duke of Lorraine, sole male heir of Charles the Great, created false titles through the Lady Lingare, descended from Charlemagne. King Lewis the Tenth, heir to Capet, was troubled wearing the French crown until he confirmed that Queen Isabel, his grandmother, descended from the Lady Ermengare, daughter of Charles the Duke of Lorraine. By this marriage, the line of Charles the Great was reunited to the French crown. So King Pepin's title, Hugh Capet's claim, and King Lewis's satisfaction all prove they held the crown through female inheritance. So the French kings themselves base their rule on female lines, yet they hide this truth and choose to bar your claim through this Salic law, rather than openly admit their own titles come from women and are therefore rightfully yours through the female line.

Listen, your Majesty and you nobles. There's no law stopping your claim to France except for this Salic law they produce from some ancient king, which says no woman can inherit in Salic land. But here's the thing: Salic land isn't even in France—it's in Germany, between two rivers. It's now called Meissen. Charles the Great left some French people there, and they made this law to keep German women out of inheritance. So the law was never about France at all. In fact, the French didn't even control Salic land for over four hundred years after this law was supposedly made. But look at how the French kings actually got their crowns: Pepin inherited through his mother, Hugh Capet got it through a female connection to Charlemagne, Lewis the Tenth had to verify his grandmother was descended from Charlemagne's family just to feel right about wearing the crown. Every single French king got there through women. So the law doesn't apply, and the French themselves prove that female inheritance is how they rule. They just don't want to admit it when it comes to you.

salic law isnt even in france its in germany. french kings all inherited through women anyway. theyre hypocrites blocking ur claim

But may I make this claim with justice and with a clear conscience?

But is it the right thing to do? Is it moral?

but is it right? morally?

I'll take the sin on my conscience, great king. The Book of Numbers says 'when a man dies, his inheritance goes to his daughter.' Your Majesty, fight for yourself! Raise your bloody flag! Look back at your mighty ancestors! Go to your great-grandfather's tomb and invoke his warrior spirit, and remember your great-uncle Edward the Black Prince, who defeated the full French army on French soil while his powerful father watched, smiling at his young lion defeating French nobles. Oh noble English, you could have fought France with just half your strength and let the other half stand laughing, without even joining the fight!

Let me take the blame, your Majesty. The Bible itself says daughters inherit when men die. So stand up for yourself! Raise your battle flag! Look back at your ancestors who conquered France. Go visit your great-grandfather's tomb and call on his fighting spirit, and remember Edward the Black Prince who beat the entire French army on French ground while his father sat watching proudly. Think of those noble English warriors who could have defeated France with just half their army, while the other half didn't even have to fight.

bible says daughters inherit. ur ancestors conquered france. edward the black prince beat them. ur english - u got this

Remember these brave men! Use your mighty arm and repeat their achievements. You are their heir; you sit on their throne. Their blood and courage runs in your veins. And my great-liege, it is the very springtime of your mighty life!

Remember the great soldiers who came before you. You have their blood in you. Fight like they fought. You have everything they had—and more.

remember them. they're in you. your blood. your courage. go fight.

Your fellow kings and all the monarchs of the world expect you to rouse yourself, just as the great kings of your bloodline did before you.

Every ruler in Europe is watching. They expect you to be like the great kings before you.

every king is watching. they expect you to be great.

They know you have both the right and the power. Your Majesty, no king of England ever had noblemen richer or more loyal subjects—men whose hearts have left their bodies, so devoted are they to you.

You've got what you need—the army, the money, and the loyalty. England's never been stronger.

you have everything. the army. the money. the loyalty. go.

Your Majesty, let them follow you with blood and sword and fire to win your right. We of the Church will raise for you such a vast sum as never was given before to any of your predecessors.

Send them to fight with our money behind them. We'll fund this war completely. More money than any king before you ever got.

we'll pay for it. all of it. more money than any king ever had.

We must not just prepare to invade France, but also set up defenses against the Scots, who will attack us with every advantage they can find.

Yeah, but here's the thing—we can't leave England undefended. The Scots will attack. We need an army on two fronts.

wait. scotland. they'll attack if we leave.

The lords of the Scottish border will be wall enough to defend our homeland from the Scottish raiders.

The border lords can take care of Scotland. They're sufficient defense.

the border lords will handle them.

We're not just worried about small raiders, but about Scotland's main attack. Scotland has always been a troublesome neighbor. You can read that my great-grandfather never went to France with his army without Scotland pouring into his undefended kingdom, like a tide breaking through a gap, full and overwhelming, attacking the cleared land with violence, besieging castles and towns with serious siege warfare. England, being left undefended, has shaken and trembled at this dangerous neighborhood.

We're not just talking about petty thieves. The real problem is Scotland has always been a bad neighbor. Whenever my great-grandfather went to France with his army, Scotland would flood into his defenseless kingdom like a tidal wave breaking through a breach, attacking everything with full force, sieging castles and towns. England ended up shaking with fear because there was nobody home to defend it.

scotland always attacks when englands weak. theyre like a tidal wave pouring in. england shakes with no defense

She has actually been more feared than harmed, my liege. Look at her own history: when all her noble fighters were in France and she was like a widow mourning her nobles, she not only defended herself extremely well, but she also captured and imprisoned the King of Scots as if he were a stray animal. She sent him to France to add to King Edward's reputation with prisoner kings, and to make her chronicles as rich with praise as the ocean floor is rich with sunken shipwrecks and countless treasures.

She's actually been more trouble than she's worth, my liege. Just look at her track record: even when all her best fighters were away fighting in France and the country was practically a widow, she didn't just manage to defend herself—she actually captured the King of Scots and locked him up like a stray dog. She sent him to France to add more famous prisoners to King Edward's collection and make her history books as full of glory as the ocean bottom is full of sunken treasures.

scotland's all bark no bite. when englands nobles were in france, scotland was weak. england captured the king of scots, sent him 2 france, made their history book as full of glory as the sea floor is full of treasure

There's an old saying, very true: 'If you want to win France, take Scotland first.' Because once England is hunting in France, Scotland—like a weasel—will attack your undefended nest.

Old saying: 'Win Scotland first, then France.' Because while our eagle hunts in France, the Scottish weasel will raid at home.

old saying: 'win scotland first then france.' while we hunt abroad they'll attack home.

Then the cat must stay at home. But that's only a minor problem—we have locks on our doors and traps for the small thieves. The cat can stay and defend the house while the lions hunt abroad.

So keep some forces home to guard Scotland. It's not a problem—we're strong enough. We can send the main army and still defend.

cat stays home. mice don't destroy. we're strong enough. send the army. get scotland handled.

Therefore heaven created the state with different functions for different people, all setting effort toward one goal, which is obedience. This is how honey-bees work—creatures that by nature teach the order of government to a kingdom. They have a king and officers of different types. Some, like judges, enforce justice at home; others, like merchants, trade abroad; others, like soldiers armed with stings, attack the summer's tender buds and carry the plunder home to their emperor's tent. The emperor, busy with his power, watches the singing builders making golden roofs, the citizen workers making honey, the poor workers crowding at his narrow gate with heavy burdens, the serious judge delivering the lazy drone to executors. From this I conclude: many things, all working toward one purpose, succeed together. Like many arrows shot in different directions come to one target; like many roads meeting in one town; like many streams meeting in one sea; like many lines meeting at the center of a dial—so many actions, once started, end in one purpose and work well without failure. Therefore to France, my king! Divide England into four parts, take one quarter to France, and all of Gallia will shake. If we, with three times that force left at home, cannot defend our own doors, let us be defeated and lose our reputation for strength and wisdom.

Heaven designed the state with different jobs for different people, all working toward one goal. Look at the bees—they teach the perfect system of rule. They have a king and different kinds of workers. Some enforce laws, others trade, others fight and attack flowers, bringing the plunder home to their emperor. The emperor watches builders making golden roofs, workers making honey, laborers carrying heavy loads, judges doing their work. This teaches that many things working toward one goal succeed together. Like different arrows hitting the same target, different roads leading to the same town, different rivers flowing into the same sea, different lines meeting at one point. Thousands of actions all working together end in one result. Therefore, your Majesty, go to France! Send a quarter of England's forces with you, and all of France will tremble. If we're so weak we can't defend England with three times that force left home, then we deserve to lose.

like bees everyone has a job but works together - arrows same target rivers same sea. thousands actions one purpose. take quarter france

Bring in the messengers who were sent from the Dauphin.

Bring in those ambassadors from the Dauphin.

bring in the dauphin messengers

Now we are fully resolved, and with God's help And your strength as our noble forces, France will become ours, and we'll make it obey us, Or we'll destroy it completely. Or we'll sit there, Ruling over a large and vast empire Over France and all its nearly royal dukedoms, Or we'll lay our bones in an unworthy urn, Without a tomb, with no memorial over us. Either our history will proudly tell Of our deeds, or else our grave, Like a silent Turkish person, will have no voice, Not honored with an epitaph.

Now we're completely committed. With God's help and your support—our noble strength—France will be ours and will obey us, or we'll destroy it completely. Either we'll sit there ruling over France and all its dukedoms, or we'll be buried in some forgotten urn with no tomb and no memorial. Either history will tell the proud story of what we did, or our grave will be silent with no voice, no epitaph to remember us.

we're locked in with god's help france will be ours obey us or we break it either we rule or die history tells our story or our graves stay silent

Now we are well prepared to hear the desires Of our good cousin the Dauphin; for we hear Your message comes from him, not from the King.

So we're ready to hear what our cousin the Dauphin wants. We understand this message is from him, not from the King himself.

ready to hear the dauphin from him not the king

May it please your Majesty to allow us to freely deliver what we have been instructed to say, or should we show you from a distance the Dauphin's meaning and our embassy?

Your Majesty, do you want us to speak freely and tell you exactly what the Dauphin said, or should we soften it and speak indirectly?

want us straight or should we hold back on dauphin's message?

We are not a tyrant, but a Christian king, to whom our passion is as controlled as prisoners chained in our prisons. Therefore, speak plainly and openly to us about the Dauphin's meaning.

I'm not a tyrant—I'm a Christian king who keeps his emotions in check like prisoners in chains. So speak freely and tell us plainly what the Dauphin wants to say.

im not a tyrant. speak plainly bout dauphin's message

Your Highness, you recently sent claims to France for certain dukedoms based on your great ancestor King Edward the Third. The Dauphin, our master, says that you seem too much like a young man, and tells you that nothing in France can be won with dancing and partying. You cannot win dukedoms by reveling. He therefore sends you, better suited to your youthful spirit, this barrel of treasure, and asks that in return you forget about the dukedoms you claim and hear no more of them. This is what the Dauphin says.

You recently claimed some French dukedoms based on your great ancestor Edward the Third. The Dauphin thinks you're just a kid who can only win things by dancing and partying, not through real warfare. So he's sending you a barrel of 'treasure' instead—basically telling you to stop asking for the dukedoms and play with this instead.

dauphin says ur too young to win in france. heres barrel of 'treasure' - stop asking for dukedoms lol

What treasure, uncle?

What gift?

what gift?

Balls used for the game of tennis, my lord.

The treasure you asked about is tennis balls.

theyre tennis balls like for the game

We are pleased the Dauphin is so amusing with us. We thank him for his gift and your efforts. When we have matched our rackets to these balls, we will, in France, by God's grace, play a match that will strike his father's crown into danger. Tell him he has made an enemy of a serious fighter, and the whole French court will be shaken by our plays. We understand him well—he mocks our wild younger days, without understanding how we used that time. We never valued this poor kingdom of England, and therefore, living away from home, we gave ourselves to wild behavior, which is common for men away from home. But tell the Dauphin I will keep my royal dignity, be like a true king, and show my greatness when I take my throne in France. Because I have put aside my majesty and worked like an ordinary man, but I will rise in France with such full glory that I will blind all the eyes of France, and strike the Dauphin blind to look upon us. And tell this amusing prince that his mock has turned his balls into bullets, and his soul will pay dearly for the terrible revenge that will follow. Many thousands of widows shall curse the Dauphin's scorn, mothers will lose their sons, castles will fall. Some are not even born yet who will curse his mockery. But this is all in God's hands, and I call upon Him. Tell the Dauphin I am coming to take my revenge as I am able, and to use my rightful hand in a just cause. Go in peace, and tell him his jest will seem shallow when thousands weep more than laughed at it.

I'm glad the Dauphin is trying to be funny. Thanks for the gift. When I match my rackets to these tennis balls, we'll play a game in France that will put his father's crown in danger. He's picked a fight with a serious warrior, and the whole French court will be shaken by our plays. I get what he's doing—he's laughing at my wild youth, not understanding what I was really doing back then. Yeah, I didn't value England before and acted wild when I was away. That's normal. But tell him now I'm a king who keeps his dignity, and when I take my throne in France, I'll be so glorious the French will be blinded. Those tennis balls? They're about to become weapons, and his soul will pay for all the death that follows. Thousands of widows, mothers who lose their sons, castles destroyed—all because of his little joke. People not even born yet will curse him for this. It's in God's hands now, and I'm coming for revenge. His joke will look pretty stupid when people are actually crying instead of laughing.

tennis balls gonna become weapons. ur throne is in danger. thousands will die cuz of this joke. this is on u

That was an insulting message.

That was an insult.

insulting.

We hope to make the sender blush at it. Therefore, my lords, do not miss any good opportunity that will help our expedition. We have no thoughts except France, except those we owe to God, which come before our business. Therefore, let our military preparations be quickly gathered, and everything considered that can quickly add to our strength. For God's sake, we will challenge this Dauphin at his father's door. Therefore, let every man focus his thoughts so that this noble action can happen.

We're going to make the Dauphin's master regret this. So, my lords, don't waste any time—grab every chance to prepare for this war. We're focused on nothing but France now, except what we owe to God. Get all our military forces ready fast, and think about everything we need to make this work quickly. For God's sake, we're going after this Dauphin at his father's castle. Everyone needs to focus and make this happen.

prepare for war. focused on france now except god. get everything ready fast. were going after the dauphin