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Act 2, Scene 5 — Another room in the same.
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The argument Lafew warns Bertram that Parolles is a fraud; Bertram dismisses him; Helena arrives for a parting that Bertram barely endures — he refuses even a farewell kiss.
Enter Lafew and Bertram.
LAFEW LAFEW

But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

but i hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

But I hope your lordship thinks not him a soldier.

BERTRAM BERTRAM

Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

Yes, my lord, and of very valiant approof.

LAFEW LAFEW

You have it from his own deliverance.

You have it from his own deliverance.

you 've it from h's own deliverance.

You have it from his own deliverance.

BERTRAM BERTRAM

And by other warranted testimony.

And by other warranted testimony.

and by other warranted testimony.

And by other warranted testimony.

LAFEW LAFEW

Then my dial goes not true; I took this lark for a bunting.

Then my dial goes not true; I took this lark for a bunting.

then my dial goes not true; i took th's lark for a bunting.

Then my dial goes not true; I took this lark for a...

BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge, and

accordingly valiant.

I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge, and accordingly valiant.

i do assure you, my lord, he 's very great in knowledge, and accordingly valiant.

I do assure you, my lord, he is very great in knowledge,...

LAFEW LAFEW

I have, then, sinned against his experience and transgressed against

his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find

in my heart to repent. Here he comes; I pray you make us friends; I

will pursue the amity.

I have, then, sinned against his experience and transgressed against his valour; and my state that way is dangerous, since I cannot yet find in my heart to repent. Here he comes; I pray you make us friends; I will pursue the amity.

i have, then, sinned against h's experience and transgressed against h's valour; and my state that way 's dangerous, since i cannot yet find in my heart to repent. here he comes; i pray you make us friends; i will pursue the amity.

I have, then, sinned against his experience and transgressed against his valour;...

Enter Parolles.
[_To Bertram._] These things shall be done, sir.
LAFEW LAFEW

Pray you, sir, who’s his tailor?

Pray you, sir, who’s his tailor?

pray you, sir, who’s h's tailor?

Pray you, sir, who’s his tailor?

"Pray you, sir, who's his tailor?" Lafew is insulting Parolles by suggesting the only impressive thing about him is his clothes — not his person. It's the same point as 'the soul of this man is his clothes' which comes later. He asks about the tailor as if Parolles himself is not the interesting party.
PAROLLES PAROLLES

Sir!

Sir!

sir!

Sir!

LAFEW LAFEW

O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, is a good workman, a very good

tailor.

O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, is a good workman, a very good tailor.

o, i know him well, i, sir; he, sir, 's a good workman, a very good tailor.

O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, is a good...

[_Aside to Parolles._] Is she gone to the king?
PAROLLES PAROLLES

She is.

She is.

she is.

She is.

BERTRAM BERTRAM

Will she away tonight?

Will she away tonight?

will she away tonight?

Will she away tonight?

PAROLLES PAROLLES

As you’ll have her.

As you’ll have her.

as you’ll 've her.

As you’ll have her.

BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,

Given order for our horses; and tonight,

When I should take possession of the bride,

End ere I do begin.

I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure, Given order for our horses; and tonight, When I should take possession of the bride, End before I do begin.

i 've writ my letters, casketed my treasure, given order for our horses; and tonight, when i should take possession of the bride, end before i do begin.

I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure, Given order for our...

LAFEW LAFEW

A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner; but one

that lies three-thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand

nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten.— God save you,

Captain.

A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner; but one that lies three-thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten.— God save you, Captain.

a good traveller 's something at the latter end of a dinner; but one that lies three-thirds and uses a known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should be once heard and thrice beaten.— god save you, captain.

A good traveller is something at the latter end of a dinner;...

BERTRAM BERTRAM

Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

's there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

PAROLLES PAROLLES

I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord’s displeasure.

I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord’s displeasure.

i know not how i 've deserved to run into my lord’s displeasure.

I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord’s...

LAFEW LAFEW

You have made shift to run into ’t, boots and spurs and all, like him

that leapt into the custard; and out of it you’ll run again, rather

than suffer question for your residence.

You have made shift to run into ’t, boots and spurs and all, like him that leapt into the custard; and out of it you’ll run again, rather than suffer question for your residence.

you 've made shift to run into ’t, boots and spurs and all, like him that leapt into the custard; and out of it you’ll run again, rather than suffer question for your residence.

You have made shift to run into ’t, boots and spurs and...

BERTRAM BERTRAM

It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

it may be you 've mistaken him, my lord.

It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

LAFEW LAFEW

And shall do so ever, though I took him at his prayers. Fare you well,

my lord; and believe this of me, there can be no kernal in this light

nut; the soul of this man is his clothes; trust him not in matter of

heavy consequence; I have kept of them tame, and know their natures.

Farewell, monsieur; I have spoken better of you than you have or will

to deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

And shall do so ever, though I took him at his prayers. Fare you well, my lord; and believe this of me, there can be no kernal in this light nut; the soul of this man is his clothes; trust him not in matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them tame, and know their natures. Farewell, monsieur; I have spoken better of you than you have or will to deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

and shall do so ever, though i took him at h's prayers. f're you well, my lord; and believe th's of me, there can be no kernal in th's light nut; the soul of th's man 's h's clothes; trust him not in matter of heavy consequence; i 've kept of them tame, and know their natures. farewell, monsieur; i 've spoken better of you than you 've or will to deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

And shall do so ever, though I took him at his prayers....

"the soul of this man is his clothes" Lafew's verdict is delivered as the play's definitive statement about Parolles — and it will be confirmed in Act 4 when Parolles is stripped of his disguise and proves to have nothing underneath. The line echoes throughout the play.
Why it matters This is the key to Parolles, stated plainly: he is his costume. Everything the audience needs to know about the Parolles plot is in this one sentence.
[_Exit._]
PAROLLES PAROLLES

An idle lord, I swear.

An idle lord, I swear.

an idle lord, i swear.

An idle lord, I swear.

BERTRAM BERTRAM

I think so.

I think so.

i think so.

I think so.

PAROLLES PAROLLES

Why, do you not know him?

Why, do you not know him?

why, do you not know him?

Why, do you not know him?

BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

Yes, I do know him well; and common speech

Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog.

Yes, I do know him well; and common speech Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog.

yes, i do know him well; and common speech gives him a worthy pass. here comes my clog.

Yes, I do know him well; and common speech Gives him a...

"Here comes my clog." A clog was a heavy block tied to livestock to prevent escape. Bertram calls his new wife — who has just saved a king's life — a clog. This is the lowest moment of his characterization so far, and it's an aside, which means the audience hears it but Helena does not.
Why it matters This aside is one of the most damning moments in the play — Bertram's contempt for Helena, stripped of all pretext, in a single word.
Enter Helena.
HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

I have, sir, as I was commanded from you,

Spoke with the king, and have procur’d his leave

For present parting; only he desires

Some private speech with you.

I have, sir, as I was commanded from you, Spoke with the king, and have procur’d his leave For present parting; only he desires Some private speech with you.

i have, sir, as i was commanded from you, spoke with the king, and 've procur’d h's leave for present parting; only he desires some private speech with you.

I have, sir, as I was commanded from you, Spoke with the...

BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

I shall obey his will.

You must not marvel, Helen, at my course,

Which holds not colour with the time, nor does

The ministration and required office

On my particular. Prepared I was not

For such a business; therefore am I found

So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you;

That presently you take your way for home,

And rather muse than ask why I entreat you:

For my respects are better than they seem;

And my appointments have in them a need

Greater than shows itself at the first view

To you that know them not. This to my mother.

I shall obey his will. You must not marvel, Helen, at my course, Which holds not colour with the time, nor does The ministration and required office On my particular. Prepared I was not For such a business; therefore am I found So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you; That presently you take your way for home, And rather muse than ask why I entreat you: For my respects are better than they seem; And my appointments have in them a need Greater than shows itself at the first view To you that know them not. This to my mother.

i shall obey h's will. you must not marvel, helen, at my course, which holds not colour with the time, nor does the ministration and required office on my particular. prepared i was not for such a business; therefore am i found so much unsettled: th's drives me to entreat you; that presently you take your way for home, and rather muse than ask why i entreat you: for my respects 're better than they seem; and my appointments 've in them a need greater than shows itself at the first view to you that know them not. th's to my mother.

I shall obey his will. You must not marvel, Helen, at my...

"You must not marvel, Helen, at my course, / Which holds not colour with the time" Bertram is constructing the most elaborate possible excuse for his behavior — 'my course holds not colour' means his actions don't match the situation. He's asking Helena to accept a non-explanation, dressed up in enough subordinate clauses to seem reasonable.
🎭 Dramatic irony Bertram tells Helena his plans have 'a necessity greater than shows itself at first sight.' This is technically true — his plan to abandon her is already in motion — but Helena takes it as reassurance. The audience knows the opposite of what she does.
[_Giving a letter._]
’Twill be two days ere I shall see you; so
I leave you to your wisdom.
HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

Sir, I can nothing say

But that I am your most obedient servant.

Sir, I can nothing say But that I am your most obedient servant.

sir, i can nothing say but that i am your most obedient servant.

Sir, I can nothing say But that I am your most obedient...

BERTRAM BERTRAM

Come, come, no more of that.

Come, come, no more of that.

come, come, no more of that.

Come, come, no more of that.

HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

And ever shall

With true observance seek to eke out that

Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail’d

To equal my great fortune.

And ever shall With true observance seek to eke out that Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail’d To equal my great fortune.

and ever shall with true observance seek to eke out that wherein toward me my homely stars 've fail’d to equal my great fortune.

And ever shall With true observance seek to eke out that Wherein...

BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

Let that go.

My haste is very great. Farewell; hie home.

Let that go. My haste is very great. Farewell; hie home.

let that go. my haste 's very great. farewell; hie home.

Let that go. My haste is very great. Farewell; hie home.

HELENA HELENA

Pray, sir, your pardon.

Pray, sir, your pardon.

pray, sir, your pardon.

Pray, sir, your pardon.

BERTRAM BERTRAM

Well, what would you say?

Well, what would you say?

well, what would you say?

Well, what would you say?

HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

I am not worthy of the wealth I owe;

Nor dare I say ’tis mine, and yet it is;

But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal

What law does vouch mine own.

I am not worthy of the wealth I owe; Nor dare I say ’is mine, and yet it is; But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal What law does vouch mine own.

i am not worthy of the wealth i owe; nor d're i say ’t's mine, and yet it is; but, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal what law does vouch mine own.

I am not worthy of the wealth I owe; Nor dare I...

BERTRAM BERTRAM

What would you have?

What would you have?

what would you have?

What would you have?

HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

Something; and scarce so much; nothing indeed.

I would not tell you what I would, my lord. Faith, yes,

Strangers and foes do sunder and not kiss.

Something; and scarce so much; nothing indeed. I would not tell you what I would, my lord. Faith, yes, Strangers and foes do sunder and not kiss.

something; and scarce so much; nothing indeed. i would not tell you what i would, my lord. faith, yes, strangers and foes do sunder and not kiss.

Something; and scarce so much; nothing indeed. I would not tell you...

"Strangers and foes do sunder and not kiss." Helena's oblique request for a farewell kiss — the most modest thing a wife could ask. It is framed as: not even enemies refuse this. Bertram will refuse it anyway.
Why it matters This is the most painful moment of the scene — Helena building up to the smallest possible ask and still unable to say it plainly.
BERTRAM BERTRAM

I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

i pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

HELENA ≋ verse HELENA

I shall not break your bidding, good my lord.

Where are my other men, monsieur?

Farewell,

I shall not break your bidding, good my lord. Where are my other men, monsieur? Farewell,

i shall not break your bidding, good my lord. where 're my other men, monsieur? farewell,

I shall not break your bidding, good my lord. Where are my...

[_Exit Helena._]
BERTRAM ≋ verse BERTRAM

Go thou toward home, where I will never come

Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum.

Away, and for our flight.

Go you toward home, where I will never come Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum. Away, and for our flight.

go you toward home, where i will never come whilst i can shake my sword or hear the drum. away, and for our flight.

Go you toward home, where I will never come Whilst I can...

🎭 Dramatic irony Bertram vows never to return home while he can hold a sword. The audience who knows the play knows he will return — but under circumstances he cannot imagine, and only after Helena has outmaneuvered him completely.
PAROLLES PAROLLES

Bravely, coragio!

Bravely, coragio!

bravely, coragio!

Bravely, coragio!

[_Exeunt._]

The Reckoning

The scene where Bertram first calls Helena 'my clog' — his dead weight. After all her triumph in curing the King, after all the ceremony of the King's gift, she comes to say goodbye and he cannot even offer her the kiss that strangers give at parting. Helena handles it with such aching grace that it breaks something. The scene ends with Bertram vowing he will never return home while he can still hold a sword. The audience watches a marriage dissolving before it has begun.

If this happened today…

The morning after a wedding someone didn't want, the groom refuses to look up from his phone when his new wife comes in to say goodbye. She's about to drive four hours back to what used to be his house. She tries to ask for a kiss and he says 'I'm busy, just go.' His best friend is standing there the whole time watching, and later tells someone: 'I knew it. I've seen this before. He'll never come back.' The best friend is right.

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